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Author Topic:   Who's a Virgin??
gonzo
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posted July 30, 2002 20:30     Click Here to See the Profile for gonzo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
God, I hate that word.

I'm a long time ghost on these forums and first time poster. Anyway, I'm just drunk enough to ask this question, who here is a virgin like me??

Here's the deal, in my younger days (my teens) I had some chances, not many, but I never took them for one reason or another. In my college days I was really hurt by a series of girls, so I hid myself in a shell and gained a lot of weight. Skip ahead about 4 years to today and I find myself attracting girls again mainly because I've lost a lot of weight and generally feel a hell of lot better about myself. Anyway, even though I'm attracting girls I find myself pushing them away. Why? I think subconsciously I'm scared to lose my virginity to just any girl. Am I just fucked up or what??

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neotatsu
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posted July 30, 2002 21:38     Click Here to See the Profile for neotatsu   Click Here to Email neotatsu     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nah, your not alone on that... I'm personally not ashamed to say I'm still a virgin, though it's not exactly that big a statement, I'm only 16 and never have had the chance, but thats not the point, now is it?... Even had I gotten the chance before now I more than likely wouldn't have taken it(note for this matter only 'now' refers to approx 3 1/2 weeks ago)... I had never even kissed a girl before Wendy... *sigh* I'm still a bit to shy about such things if you ask me, but I'm slowly changing, I've got a great teacher

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Alien Investor
Highlie

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From: New York City
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posted July 31, 2002 05:09     Click Here to See the Profile for Alien Investor   Click Here to Email Alien Investor     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And I'm just sleep-deprived enough to answer ...

I was a virgin when I graduated from college, but that was a long time ago, and I am not one now.

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Twinkle Toes
Highlie

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From: a place that no longer holds my soul...
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posted July 31, 2002 08:58     Click Here to See the Profile for Twinkle Toes   Click Here to Email Twinkle Toes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm still a virgin, but...

Well, I'll save it for off the boards .

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skylar
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posted July 31, 2002 11:29     Click Here to See the Profile for skylar   Click Here to Email skylar     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yeah, me too. But then, like neo, my being 16 means that it's more normal than not for me to be a virgin, I think.

But what's worse is that one of the meanings of my name is "virgin", so I'll be haunted by that for the rest of my life... Ah well

sky

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Holy sweet goddamn! You left your cello in the basement...

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MacManKrisK
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posted July 31, 2002 13:44     Click Here to See the Profile for MacManKrisK   Click Here to Email MacManKrisK     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, I'm still a virgin. I'm 20 (almost 21) so that's probably not quite "normal." Then again, what IS normal? Anyway, I guess I'll probably be a virgin until I'm married, like all good little boys. Yes, even if presented with the chance, I'd probably turn it down (not that this has happened, mind you).

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Now with more tidbity goodness!

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uilleann
Highlie

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posted July 31, 2002 14:18     Click Here to See the Profile for uilleann   Click Here to Email uilleann     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think my answer goes without saying

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snupy
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posted July 31, 2002 16:11     Click Here to See the Profile for snupy   Click Here to Email snupy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Gonzo-were you the one who I/M'ed me and asked me to deflower you???(kidding)

Yes, I know I said I was leaving, but I couldn't resist this one-it's such a coincidence. This guy contacted me yesterday(I inadvertently put my name, age, and gender on my profile-I thought it was just for registration)-and he says he's a 23 year old virgin who wants to be taught about sex by an older woman. After pondering it for a minute , I said, no, thank you, and his reply?? "How about just oral then?" I promptly deleted all my demographics.

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"I didn't know all of them."

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TheAnnoyedCockroach
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posted July 31, 2002 18:56     Click Here to See the Profile for TheAnnoyedCockroach   Click Here to Email TheAnnoyedCockroach     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Being 17, I haven't had the chance. Nor do I think I'd take it if I did. I mean hell, I'm one of those rare "never been kissed" types. I probaby could if I wanted to just do it (hah!), but frankly I don't. I'm waiting for someone, I guess.

Though I wish I could just find out who I'm waiting for, 'cause I can only be patient for so long.

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neotatsu
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posted July 31, 2002 19:56     Click Here to See the Profile for neotatsu   Click Here to Email neotatsu     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by TheAnnoyedCockroach:
I mean hell, I'm one of those rare "never been kissed" types.


I USED to be one of them, ah but heh, things change..

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AudrieRyan_geekgirl
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From: The padded cell next to the fire escape
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posted July 31, 2002 21:06     Click Here to See the Profile for AudrieRyan_geekgirl   Click Here to Email AudrieRyan_geekgirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yay! More Virginy Peoples!!! Tee hee! Yes, well, seriously, technically I am a virgin. I have been raped three times, but I do not count that as losing my virginity. Like you were, I am a bit chubby, but I like myself. <------See? Happy me! (Damn, the CD keeps skipping...hold on a sec...alright.)
Not to mention my most recent unhappy news, that is, but I'm pretty much a member of the "V" club. I've had opportunities, but I'm too shy in that one sense of the world. THose of you who have read my posts know I'm not really a shelled up person.

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chicgeek
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posted July 31, 2002 22:40     Click Here to See the Profile for chicgeek   Click Here to Email chicgeek     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I guess it's really not all that rare!! I'm 23, a virgin, never been kissed, never fooled around. (The farthest I've ever let a guy get with me is a peck on the cheek.)

I totally fell for a guy I knew in high school. He had a one track mind, and wasn't much of a rhetorician. It didn't take much to see through him, and even though I was completely drawn to him -- he was a semi-popular geek who was really funny and interesting -- I never let him really get close to me. I still carry a torch for him, but I'd still never let him get to "know" me (in the biblical sense of the word.) I deserve better.

I figure if I've waited this long, I might as well wait until I get married to even let a guy kiss me. To embellish on Snow White's famous ballad: Some day my geek prince will come ...

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TheAnnoyedCockroach
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posted August 01, 2002 09:32     Click Here to See the Profile for TheAnnoyedCockroach   Click Here to Email TheAnnoyedCockroach     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bah, I guess it's easier waiting for a prince than...

Now what the hell would I call what I'm doing (aside from being lazy)?

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Akira
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posted August 01, 2002 09:39     Click Here to See the Profile for Akira   Click Here to Email Akira     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Was until age 21, when a friend deflowered me as a birthday gift. I still prefer it when women approach me rather than vice versa, though having had a steady girlfriend for the past 4 years has obviated the need for that.

As re the "saving for marriage" approach: personal or religious morality codes notwithstanding, I think it's a mistake. Marriage, if it's done correctly, is a seriously long-term thing, and sex is a seriously important part of most seriously long-term relationships. Like any other skill it requires practice, if for no other reason than so you know what you like! Otherwise wonderful relationships can implode if one or both partners is unable to satisfy the other.

So I'm hugely in favor of people having as much sex as they are reasonably able to and are comfortable with. Safely, sanely, and consentually, of course.

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chicgeek
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posted August 01, 2002 12:12     Click Here to See the Profile for chicgeek   Click Here to Email chicgeek     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't necessarily agree with you, Akira.

I don't really want someone who's been passed around enough to regularly practice his 'skills' any more than I would accept chewing gum straight out of another person's mouth. That's just gross.

In addition, a chaste lifestyle is definitely the most simplistic -- I don't have to worry about being pregnant or having an STD. I have much better use of the time, energy and emotion that most would utilize in bedding someone. Logically, why would I want to pursue meaningless, counterfeit relationships when I can wait for the real thing to come along?

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chicgeek
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From: Houston, TX, USA
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posted August 01, 2002 12:20     Click Here to See the Profile for chicgeek   Click Here to Email chicgeek     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also, whatever my -- or my future husband's -- preferences would be, I'm sure we could mutually learn how to fulfill them. You don't automatically know how someone likes their coffee, but with effective communication and persistance, you can eventually get it right. Of course, if you've never had coffee, you might not know how you prefer it until you have it for the first time. Marriage, when done right, should be a mutual learning experience. Sure, there might be some trial-and-error, but you've got the rest of your lives to learn how to please each other.

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neotatsu
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posted August 01, 2002 13:12     Click Here to See the Profile for neotatsu   Click Here to Email neotatsu     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
interesting birthday present... anywho, chicgeek hit the nail on the head, I don't want someone whos been passed around with many other people before me too much.. I mean, if I'm 20ish and I meet a girl who was in a long relationship and has had sex with that one guy because she was in love with him and in the relationship for a long time, that wouldn't bother me, but someone who carbon dates and has sex with men she's only been out with 2-3 times I hold no respect for at all, and the same goes for men IMHO

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ZorroTheFox
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.

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From: Milton, WA, USA
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posted August 01, 2002 16:43     Click Here to See the Profile for ZorroTheFox   Click Here to Email ZorroTheFox     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by uilleann:
I think my answer goes without saying

mine too, I am 100% pure virgin (points to halo). .........Z

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Bregalad
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posted August 01, 2002 17:44     Click Here to See the Profile for Bregalad   Click Here to Email Bregalad     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ZorroTheFox:
mine too, I am 100% pure virgin (points to halo). .........Z

I'm sure you've got good uses for pure virgin olive oil, but to call yourself virgin anything is, um.... would deceptive be too strong a term?

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Bregalad
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posted August 01, 2002 17:59     Click Here to See the Profile for Bregalad   Click Here to Email Bregalad     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I used to think like chicgeek and some of the others. Then one year I got extremely curious and "weak", and decided to find out what I'd been missing. All I can say is, I'm sure glad I got that first time burst of emotion out of the way before I met somebody special. Definitely not something I'd want to have happen on my wedding night. Anyhow, I learned a lot in a few short months and feel that relationship was a valuable experience.

Since then I've "saved myself" for particularly meaningful relationships like the one I'm in now. It is possible to find a happy medium between Akira's lifestyle and that of the celibate, and saving yourself doesn't mean you have to forego less intimate physical contact. Humans have an innate need to be touched. Hug your friends, it'll make you both feel better.

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macadddikt18
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posted August 01, 2002 18:46     Click Here to See the Profile for macadddikt18   Click Here to Email macadddikt18     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i bet you can all guess for me. I am also the rare "never been kissed" type, so i can say that i am also still a virgin. Yippy for me.
Nayt

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Demosthenes
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posted August 01, 2002 19:33     Click Here to See the Profile for Demosthenes   Click Here to Email Demosthenes     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yup, i am.
i'm not "saving myself" for anything, really. just that the conditions are right and i feel ready. (i don't believe in marriage, that's how i came to this way of wording it.) i'm still a teenager; i've got my life ahead of me to go screwing people around. but at this age, it just seems like a rush to me. or. just another way of using someone, stringing them along. in the relationships i've seen friends my own age going through, sex and the like simply seems to complicate things further; girls will often use it as a way to keep from losing a boyfriend, or to get what they want. guys...well. i dunno, the last friend i knew when he lost his virginity stayed in a dismal relationship because it was convenient for him to keep 'getting some' from the girl who had him on an emotional leash.

keeping that in mind, i'd never want to be on either end of that. honestly, a whipped boyfriend has never been high on my wishlist, and using sex as a bargaining tool just cheapens the act and keeps guys strung along.

...that, and i'm too much of a coward to buy condoms. i'd probably cry if the clerk at the condom-store or whatever gave me a funny look. heh.

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neotatsu
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posted August 01, 2002 20:30     Click Here to See the Profile for neotatsu   Click Here to Email neotatsu     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
don't get me wrong, I can see the possible benifits in skill living that kind of lifestyle temporarily, but personally speaking that leaves me in quite a contradictory point of view, heh, having 'that' as it was referred to before, happen on even my first time would really suck..

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Alien Investor
Highlie

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posted August 02, 2002 00:56     Click Here to See the Profile for Alien Investor   Click Here to Email Alien Investor     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The first time I bought condoms, there was only one checkout counter open, and the cashier was a woman and young and cute. She smiled at me and said "have a nice day". I got over it eventually but I was embarrassed for about a week.

As far as the "save yourself" versus "you aren't spent yet" decision goes, I think that either decision is good, it's just a personal matter. I do feel that I missed out on some good sex in college because I was a virgin all the way through college. Also I think it would have been good for me to go through hysterical emotional drama in college, when lots of people are doing so, rather than later, when it's more difficult.

On the other hand: out of the, errr, statistical universe of people that I've slept with, some really are better than others. I estimate that about 2/3 of them were already good enough so that if I were married to them, our sexual compatibilty would be fine. About 1/6 of them would become good enough over time, and for 1/6 of them, I would be unhappy and dissatisfied sexually. (This doesn't count any lovers who found *me* inadequate but were too kind to tell me!)

In general my partners who have been older have been better. I think that most people improve with time.

And you don't need to sleep with someone to discover if they are good in bed -- you can find out a helluva lot by kissing them.

So personally I am in the "get a reasonable amount of sex" camp, but I think the "little or no sex until marriage" camp is viable.

Finally, I think that when Zorro is talking about his "virgin halo", he means he hasn't yet found a partner with a protuberance that fits into the halo properly.

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Xanthine
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posted August 02, 2002 12:39     Click Here to See the Profile for Xanthine     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If it was really painful both times can I still call myself a virgin?

The oral was nice though.

I can't believe I just posted that.

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- Tennesee Williams

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annie
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posted August 02, 2002 14:31     Click Here to See the Profile for annie   Click Here to Email annie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
If it was really painful both times can I still call myself a virgin?

The oral was nice though.

I can't believe I just posted that.


Depends. I had a room-mate once who had two kids, but when she became a born again Christian she told me she wouldn't have sex untill she was married because she didn't want to lose her "virginity for the third time" So I guess it all depends on your point of view.

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maxomai
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posted August 02, 2002 14:36     Click Here to See the Profile for maxomai   Click Here to Email maxomai     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm definitely not a virgin, but I wish I'd lost it to a different person. Seriously. Even lousy sex is great with someone you care about; and great sex with a psycho-hose-beast isn't worth the hassle of dealing with the psycho-hose-beast.

There is something to preserving sex until marriage. Or at least holding off until you're both absolutely ready. The anticipation makes for a better time, yaknow?

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maxomai
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posted August 02, 2002 14:52     Click Here to See the Profile for maxomai   Click Here to Email maxomai     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
And you don't need to sleep with someone to discover if they are good in bed -- you can find out a helluva lot by kissing them.

Yep. The better the kisser, the better in bed, usually.

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Akira
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From: LA LA land
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posted August 02, 2002 17:46     Click Here to See the Profile for Akira   Click Here to Email Akira     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by maxomai:
Even lousy sex is great with someone you care about; and great sex with a psycho-hose-beast isn't worth the hassle of dealing with the psycho-hose-beast.

Amen.

And before y'all go branding a crimson A into my sig file let me just state for the record: I'm not an advocate of sex for it's own sake, nor am I an advocate of quantity over quality. To date I can count my total number of partners on the fingers of one hand, without using the thumb. But the truth of the matter is, if you have good (or even bad) sex with someone you care about -- even if it isn't forever -- you will at the very least learn more about yourself in the process, and that's never a bad thing. I've had lots of meaningful sex with a few meaningful partners. Other people have lots of meaningful sex with lots of meaningful partners, others with only one partner, and others have lots of meaningless sex before and/or after finding a meaningful partner. The trick is to find the approach that works for you personally (and your partner!) and allows for the best balance between personal morals and useful self-knowledge.

I do not advocate people doing things they are wholly uncomfortable with, but I do advocate people challenging their comfort zones in the interest of self-discovery. There is a subtle but vital difference between the two.

quote:
Originally posted by chicgeek:
Logically, why would I want to pursue meaningless, counterfeit relationships when I can wait for the real thing to come along?

Before you go leaping to that conclusion, read my stipulations: "as much sex as they are reasonably able to and are comfortable with." Some people will be comfortable engaging in meaningless relationships just for meaningless sex. I doubt you are one of them; I certainly know that I am not. But that doesn't preclude you from being able to practice. My advocacy is for good sex, which doesn't necessarily mean lots of partners.

quote:
Also, whatever my -- or my future husband's -- preferences would be, I'm sure we could mutually learn how to fulfill them.

Some people are. Some people aren't. That's the problem with not knowing what your own particular needs are. Any number of people, for example, are married for a number of years before discovering they are gay; obviously this is something that is useful to know before entering into an otherwise heterosexual partnership! No, sex is not the only way to determine this, but I'd argue that the more data you have to base your decision on, the more likely you are to make a good, informed choice. If you go into it knowing your own wants, needs, and desires, you are less likely to make unpleasant discoveries down the road that can marr an otherwise happy union.

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I am Dyslexic of Borg.
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MisterP
Single Celled Newbie

Posts: 1
From: Wichita, KS USA
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posted August 02, 2002 19:36     Click Here to See the Profile for MisterP   Click Here to Email MisterP     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well well well, I probably have you all beat. I am 24 and never so much as dated. I came so close to scoring, with so many girls and I always said something stupid and blew it. Like just recently I was at a club, and I met this woman in her mid to late 30s. She was really doing some crazy 'ish and I blew because my mind said, need a ride, but my mouth said, "I'm horny."
Ouch. That stings.

Anyway, I am a newbie, so don't flame me too hard.

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chicgeek
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posted August 02, 2002 20:55     Click Here to See the Profile for chicgeek   Click Here to Email chicgeek     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Maybe you should work on being more subtle, depending on what kind of girl you're going for.

Some chix like that kind of straight-forwardness, but if you're looking for a meaningful, lasting relationship, maybe you should try being more casual. Just a thought

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"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." -- Voltaire

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chicgeek
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From: Houston, TX, USA
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posted August 02, 2002 20:57     Click Here to See the Profile for chicgeek   Click Here to Email chicgeek     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
By the way, you haven't gotten me beat by much. I'll be 24 in Sept., and I've never dated.

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"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." -- Voltaire

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Shadow
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posted August 02, 2002 21:17     Click Here to See the Profile for Shadow   Click Here to Email Shadow     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It is great to see people who are cool about this. (It seams like so many play into the notion this is somehow undesirable)

Personally I am a Christian geek who is also waiting to engage in this activity within a marriage relationship. I think some of my desire to do this is much like others in this forum. I think this can be a very meaningful thing which a couple can learn as they live their lives together. (Marriage is suppose to be a covenant right? ) I think chicgeek is right on the money too. We don't have to worry about the STDs or pregnancy issues which frees us up for longs nights in front of the raster blaster typing in forums such as this. In addition I think this can be something very special which can further a marriage bond when it is done with this commitment in place.

Again this a $0.02 from the Shadow but I think there are plenty of good reasons to wait.

Sorry btw, I am 25 here as of June. (It doesn't matter how old you are when you do this... it matters who it is with right? )

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Bregalad
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posted August 03, 2002 00:08     Click Here to See the Profile for Bregalad   Click Here to Email Bregalad     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by MisterP:
Like just recently I was at a club, and I met this woman in her mid to late 30s. She was really doing some crazy 'ish and I blew because my mind said, need a ride, but my mouth said, "I'm horny."
Ouch. That stings.

Hmmmmm, you managed to scare off a cougar in her native habitat, that's actually quite an achievement. Women in their late 30's or 40's who hang around clubs looking for guys under 25 are usually only after one thing. That comment could easily have gotten you more than you bargained for.

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chicgeek
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From: Houston, TX, USA
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posted August 03, 2002 11:40     Click Here to See the Profile for chicgeek   Click Here to Email chicgeek     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In the immortal words of my sista Lauryn Hill:

*sings*

"Girls, you know you better WATCH OUT, 'cause guys, some guys are only about THAT THING, THAT THING, THAT THIIIIINNNNGGGGGG."

Transversely:

"Guys, you know you better WATCH OUT ..."

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"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." -- Voltaire

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ZorroTheFox
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.

Posts: 1938
From: Milton, WA, USA
Registered: Oct 2001

posted August 03, 2002 14:30     Click Here to See the Profile for ZorroTheFox   Click Here to Email ZorroTheFox     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Alien Investor:
Finally, I think that when Zorro is talking about his "virgin halo", he means he hasn't yet found a partner with a protuberance that fits into the halo properly.

ok ok, so My body isn't a virgin, but My spirit is. I have yet to make a connection with anyone so I usually am somewhere else mentally during the act. Doesn't that count for something? >;o) .......Z

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SpikeSpiegel
Uber Geek

Posts: 860
From: my chair
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posted August 03, 2002 14:54     Click Here to See the Profile for SpikeSpiegel   Click Here to Email SpikeSpiegel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by chicgeek:
In the immortal words of my sista Lauryn Hill:

*sings*

"Girls, you know you better WATCH OUT, 'cause guys, some guys are only about THAT THING, THAT THING, THAT THIIIIINNNNGGGGGG."

Transversely:

"Guys, you know you better WATCH OUT ..."


^_^ goooooooooooooood soooong

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There are 3 kinds of lies; lies, damn lies, and statistics

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TheAnnoyedCockroach
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posted August 03, 2002 20:03     Click Here to See the Profile for TheAnnoyedCockroach   Click Here to Email TheAnnoyedCockroach     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*whistles*

Bad song, bad song, baaad sooOOOOoooong....

Heh, can't resist...

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Wait! It's a trick. Get an axe.

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AudrieRyan_geekgirl
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From: The padded cell next to the fire escape
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posted August 08, 2002 14:20     Click Here to See the Profile for AudrieRyan_geekgirl   Click Here to Email AudrieRyan_geekgirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I guess I'm still in the wedge of whether or not I want to loose my virginity, because right now I'm in a really good relationship with a really cool guy that I feel I've known forever, but I don't know if he's going to be around after the "deflowering" as some of you put it. I guess I'll have to trust him more.
I asked my best friend Kutin about loosing my virginity in general (and if you've been reading my other posts, you'll understand why I didn't mention the guy I'll be going with) and he said that once you loose it, you can't get it back and it's important to have sex with someone that you know and trust and love. Maybe he was pointing to himself....nah...
I've not had the best sexual experiences because non of them wanted to happen. The farthest I've gone with a guy is making out. That's it. I'm 16, 17 on 08/29, and I'm very old already. I'm afraid of living with the regret that the one I gave myself to won't be in my life later on, and that will drive me crazy. So I guess I look at marridge as a sort of collateral to giving myself to this person. I don't know. I guess I should have a talk with my mom if she's not out doing something wierd to the dogs. (She lives in Spain right now.)

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"The house was burning! Son,why didn't you call 911?"
"You told me never to call 900 numbers, mommy!"

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neotatsu
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posted August 08, 2002 15:00     Click Here to See the Profile for neotatsu   Click Here to Email neotatsu     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hrmmm...I'm older than you by three days .. anywho, on to the real point; don't expect your first time to be some wonderful magical event, from what I've been told, and from what I've read, it may not even get too far the first time, especially if your nervous(and considering your past experiences).. Hell, after talking to some of my female friends, I've got a fiew odd stories of 'the first time', for instance, one of my female friends had the misfortune to have a muscle spasm when she climaxed that tensed her up and basically caused her to act like a vice which wouldn't let go without calling an ambulance to come and inject her with a local anesthsia(sp?).. funny to look back on, but damned embarrasing to have happen to someone who's only 17 years old.. Aside from that there are many different possibilities which may happen on the first time, for instance, from what I've heard most women don't really enjoy themselves untill the 7-8th time on average, and the men don't necessarily have much fun for those first several times either.. It may help to be a smidge drunk on your first time, but not too much, after all, you want to remember it don't you?.. also consider the definition of losing ones virginity, in the middle ages virginity was having an intact hymen, which means if you were born with no hymen, or a small one, then you weren't a virgin, because it couldn't be proven that you were. Similarly, if your hymen broke while riding a horse, you were no longer a virgin.. In todays culture, virginity is usually considered to be lost when penetration occurs, but what about lesbian couples? Or gay males? Would anal sex be considered as having lost your virginity? According to records, in the middle ages they used to have anal sex because it was a way to keep the female a 'virgin' but still have sex.. Also consider those who have been raped, most rape victims still refer to themselves as virgins even though they have been penetrated, though against their will. In short the question 'who's a virgin' is a rather broad one, there are women who call themselves virgins because they have abstained for a few years, and others because they have gone from one religion to christianity and all things are made new again through christ jesus(or so they claim, of course).. If a female who's straight experiments with another female before she ever has sex with a man, is she still a virgin? Can you lose your virginity twice(once with a female, once with a male)? I could rant for quite a while on this topic, I have had a lot of female friends relate to me their first experiences, and a lot of male friends who have related having their first experiences, and then an entire group of people I sat with at lunch last year who would love nothing more than to try and instill fear in those who have yet to have sex by regaling them with tales of their first time, and just having sex with virgin females all together..

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