        |
|
|
 The Geek Culture Forums
 All about Love!
 Who's a Virgin?? (Page 1)
|
 UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! This topic is 3 pages long: 1 2 3 |
next newest topic | next oldest topic |
| Author | Topic: Who's a Virgin?? |
|
gonzo Newbie Larva 
Posts: 2 |
posted July 30, 2002 20:30
  
God, I hate that word. I'm a long time ghost on these forums and first time poster. Anyway, I'm just drunk enough to ask this question, who here is a virgin like me?? Here's the deal, in my younger days (my teens) I had some chances, not many, but I never took them for one reason or another. In my college days I was really hurt by a series of girls, so I hid myself in a shell and gained a lot of weight. Skip ahead about 4 years to today and I find myself attracting girls again mainly because I've lost a lot of weight and generally feel a hell of lot better about myself. Anyway, even though I'm attracting girls I find myself pushing them away. Why? I think subconsciously I'm scared to lose my virginity to just any girl. Am I just fucked up or what?? IP: Logged |
|
neotatsu Uber Geek 
Posts: 968 |
posted July 30, 2002 21:38
Nah, your not alone on that... I'm personally not ashamed to say I'm still a virgin, though it's not exactly that big a statement, I'm only 16 and never have had the chance, but thats not the point, now is it?... Even had I gotten the chance before now I more than likely wouldn't have taken it(note for this matter only 'now' refers to approx 3 1/2 weeks ago)... I had never even kissed a girl before Wendy... *sigh* I'm still a bit to shy about such things if you ask me, but I'm slowly changing, I've got a great teacher 
IP: Logged |
|
Alien Investor Highlie 
Posts: 507 |
posted July 31, 2002 05:09
And I'm just sleep-deprived enough to answer ... I was a virgin when I graduated from college, but that was a long time ago, and I am not one now. IP: Logged |
|
Twinkle Toes Highlie
Posts: 720 |
posted July 31, 2002 08:58
I'm still a virgin, but... Well, I'll save it for off the boards ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
skylar Assimilated 
Posts: 396 |
posted July 31, 2002 11:29
Yeah, me too. But then, like neo, my being 16 means that it's more normal than not for me to be a virgin, I think. But what's worse is that one of the meanings of my name is "virgin", so I'll be haunted by that for the rest of my life... Ah well sky ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
MacManKrisK Alpha Geek  Posts: 260 |
posted July 31, 2002 13:44
Yes, I'm still a virgin. I'm 20 (almost 21) so that's probably not quite "normal." Then again, what IS normal? Anyway, I guess I'll probably be a virgin until I'm married, like all good little boys. Yes, even if presented with the chance, I'd probably turn it down (not that this has happened, mind you).------------------ IP: Logged |
|
uilleann Highlie
Posts: 710 |
posted July 31, 2002 14:18
I think my answer goes without saying IP: Logged |
|
snupy Uber Geek
Posts: 803 |
posted July 31, 2002 16:11
Gonzo-were you the one who I/M'ed me and asked me to deflower you???(kidding) Yes, I know I said I was leaving, but I couldn't resist this one-it's such a coincidence. This guy contacted me yesterday(I inadvertently put my name, age, and gender on my profile-I thought it was just for registration)-and he says he's a 23 year old virgin who wants to be taught about sex by an older woman. After pondering it for a minute ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
TheAnnoyedCockroach Uber Geek
Posts: 839 |
posted July 31, 2002 18:56
Being 17, I haven't had the chance. Nor do I think I'd take it if I did. I mean hell, I'm one of those rare "never been kissed" types. I probaby could if I wanted to just do it (hah!), but frankly I don't. I'm waiting for someone, I guess. Though I wish I could just find out who I'm waiting for, 'cause I can only be patient for so long. ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
neotatsu Uber Geek
Posts: 968 |
posted July 31, 2002 19:56
quote: I USED to be one of them, ah but heh, things change.. IP: Logged |
|
AudrieRyan_geekgirl Super Geek 
Posts: 117 |
posted July 31, 2002 21:06
Yay! More Virginy Peoples!!! Tee hee! Yes, well, seriously, technically I am a virgin. I have been raped three times, but I do not count that as losing my virginity. Like you were, I am a bit chubby, but I like myself. <------See? Happy me! (Damn, the CD keeps skipping...hold on a sec...alright.) Not to mention my most recent unhappy news, that is, but I'm pretty much a member of the "V" club. I've had opportunities, but I'm too shy in that one sense of the world. THose of you who have read my posts know I'm not really a shelled up person.  ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
chicgeek Super Geek
Posts: 148 |
posted July 31, 2002 22:40
I guess it's really not all that rare!! I'm 23, a virgin, never been kissed, never fooled around. (The farthest I've ever let a guy get with me is a peck on the cheek.) I totally fell for a guy I knew in high school. He had a one track mind, and wasn't much of a rhetorician. It didn't take much to see through him, and even though I was completely drawn to him -- he was a semi-popular geek who was really funny and interesting -- I never let him really get close to me. I still carry a torch for him, but I'd still never let him get to "know" me (in the biblical sense of the word.) I deserve better. I figure if I've waited this long, I might as well wait until I get married to even let a guy kiss me. To embellish on Snow White's famous ballad: Some day my geek prince will come ... IP: Logged |
|
TheAnnoyedCockroach Uber Geek
Posts: 839 |
posted August 01, 2002 09:32
Bah, I guess it's easier waiting for a prince than... Now what the hell would I call what I'm doing (aside from being lazy)? ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
Akira Super Geek
Posts: 218 |
posted August 01, 2002 09:39
Was until age 21, when a friend deflowered me as a birthday gift. I still prefer it when women approach me rather than vice versa, though having had a steady girlfriend for the past 4 years has obviated the need for that.  As re the "saving for marriage" approach: personal or religious morality codes notwithstanding, I think it's a mistake. Marriage, if it's done correctly, is a seriously long-term thing, and sex is a seriously important part of most seriously long-term relationships. Like any other skill it requires practice, if for no other reason than so you know what you like! Otherwise wonderful relationships can implode if one or both partners is unable to satisfy the other. So I'm hugely in favor of people having as much sex as they are reasonably able to and are comfortable with. Safely, sanely, and consentually, of course. ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
chicgeek Super Geek
Posts: 148 |
posted August 01, 2002 12:12
I don't necessarily agree with you, Akira. I don't really want someone who's been passed around enough to regularly practice his 'skills' any more than I would accept chewing gum straight out of another person's mouth. That's just gross. In addition, a chaste lifestyle is definitely the most simplistic -- I don't have to worry about being pregnant or having an STD. I have much better use of the time, energy and emotion that most would utilize in bedding someone. Logically, why would I want to pursue meaningless, counterfeit relationships when I can wait for the real thing to come along? IP: Logged |
|
chicgeek Super Geek
Posts: 148 |
posted August 01, 2002 12:20
Also, whatever my -- or my future husband's -- preferences would be, I'm sure we could mutually learn how to fulfill them. You don't automatically know how someone likes their coffee, but with effective communication and persistance, you can eventually get it right. Of course, if you've never had coffee, you might not know how you prefer it until you have it for the first time. Marriage, when done right, should be a mutual learning experience. Sure, there might be some trial-and-error, but you've got the rest of your lives to learn how to please each other. IP: Logged |
|
neotatsu Uber Geek
Posts: 968 |
posted August 01, 2002 13:12
interesting birthday present... anywho, chicgeek hit the nail on the head, I don't want someone whos been passed around with many other people before me too much.. I mean, if I'm 20ish and I meet a girl who was in a long relationship and has had sex with that one guy because she was in love with him and in the relationship for a long time, that wouldn't bother me, but someone who carbon dates and has sex with men she's only been out with 2-3 times I hold no respect for at all, and the same goes for men IMHO IP: Logged |
|
ZorroTheFox BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.     
Posts: 1938 |
posted August 01, 2002 16:43
quote: mine too, I am 100% pure virgin (points to halo). .........Z IP: Logged |
|
Bregalad Assimilated
Posts: 396 |
posted August 01, 2002 17:44
quote: I'm sure you've got good uses for pure virgin olive oil, but to call yourself virgin anything is, um.... would deceptive be too strong a term? IP: Logged |
|
Bregalad Assimilated
Posts: 396 |
posted August 01, 2002 17:59
I used to think like chicgeek and some of the others. Then one year I got extremely curious and "weak", and decided to find out what I'd been missing. All I can say is, I'm sure glad I got that first time burst of emotion out of the way before I met somebody special. Definitely not something I'd want to have happen on my wedding night. Anyhow, I learned a lot in a few short months and feel that relationship was a valuable experience. Since then I've "saved myself" for particularly meaningful relationships like the one I'm in now. It is possible to find a happy medium between Akira's lifestyle and that of the celibate, and saving yourself doesn't mean you have to forego less intimate physical contact. Humans have an innate need to be touched. Hug your friends, it'll make you both feel better. IP: Logged |
|
macadddikt18 BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.
Posts: 1815 |
posted August 01, 2002 18:46
i bet you can all guess for me. I am also the rare "never been kissed" type, so i can say that i am also still a virgin. Yippy for me. Nayt ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
Demosthenes Assimilated
Posts: 378 |
posted August 01, 2002 19:33
yup, i am. i'm not "saving myself" for anything, really. just that the conditions are right and i feel ready. (i don't believe in marriage, that's how i came to this way of wording it.) i'm still a teenager; i've got my life ahead of me to go screwing people around. but at this age, it just seems like a rush to me. or. just another way of using someone, stringing them along. in the relationships i've seen friends my own age going through, sex and the like simply seems to complicate things further; girls will often use it as a way to keep from losing a boyfriend, or to get what they want. guys...well. i dunno, the last friend i knew when he lost his virginity stayed in a dismal relationship because it was convenient for him to keep 'getting some' from the girl who had him on an emotional leash. keeping that in mind, i'd never want to be on either end of that. honestly, a whipped boyfriend has never been high on my wishlist, and using sex as a bargaining tool just cheapens the act and keeps guys strung along. ...that, and i'm too much of a coward to buy condoms. i'd probably cry if the clerk at the condom-store or whatever gave me a funny look. heh. IP: Logged |
|
neotatsu Uber Geek
Posts: 968 |
posted August 01, 2002 20:30
don't get me wrong, I can see the possible benifits in skill living that kind of lifestyle temporarily, but personally speaking that leaves me in quite a contradictory point of view, heh, having 'that' as it was referred to before, happen on even my first time would really suck.. IP: Logged |
|
Alien Investor Highlie
Posts: 507 |
posted August 02, 2002 00:56
The first time I bought condoms, there was only one checkout counter open, and the cashier was a woman and young and cute. She smiled at me and said "have a nice day". I got over it eventually but I was embarrassed for about a week. As far as the "save yourself" versus "you aren't spent yet" decision goes, I think that either decision is good, it's just a personal matter. I do feel that I missed out on some good sex in college because I was a virgin all the way through college. Also I think it would have been good for me to go through hysterical emotional drama in college, when lots of people are doing so, rather than later, when it's more difficult. On the other hand: out of the, errr, statistical universe of people that I've slept with, some really are better than others. I estimate that about 2/3 of them were already good enough so that if I were married to them, our sexual compatibilty would be fine. About 1/6 of them would become good enough over time, and for 1/6 of them, I would be unhappy and dissatisfied sexually. (This doesn't count any lovers who found *me* inadequate but were too kind to tell me!) In general my partners who have been older have been better. I think that most people improve with time. And you don't need to sleep with someone to discover if they are good in bed -- you can find out a helluva lot by kissing them. So personally I am in the "get a reasonable amount of sex" camp, but I think the "little or no sex until marriage" camp is viable. Finally, I think that when Zorro is talking about his "virgin halo", he means he hasn't yet found a partner with a protuberance that fits into the halo properly. IP: Logged |
|
Xanthine Uber Geek
Posts: 829 |
posted August 02, 2002 12:39
If it was really painful both times can I still call myself a virgin? The oral was nice though. I can't believe I just posted that. ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
annie Assimilated
Posts: 359 |
posted August 02, 2002 14:31
quote: Depends. I had a room-mate once who had two kids, but when she became a born again Christian she told me she wouldn't have sex untill she was married because she didn't want to lose her "virginity for the third time" So I guess it all depends on your point of view. IP: Logged |
|
maxomai Alpha Geek Posts: 269 |
posted August 02, 2002 14:36
I'm definitely not a virgin, but I wish I'd lost it to a different person. Seriously. Even lousy sex is great with someone you care about; and great sex with a psycho-hose-beast isn't worth the hassle of dealing with the psycho-hose-beast. There is something to preserving sex until marriage. Or at least holding off until you're both absolutely ready. The anticipation makes for a better time, yaknow? IP: Logged |
|
maxomai Alpha Geek Posts: 269 |
posted August 02, 2002 14:52
quote: Yep. The better the kisser, the better in bed, usually. IP: Logged |
|
Akira Super Geek
Posts: 218 |
posted August 02, 2002 17:46
quote: Amen. And before y'all go branding a crimson A into my sig file I do not advocate people doing things they are wholly uncomfortable with, but I do advocate people challenging their comfort zones in the interest of self-discovery. There is a subtle but vital difference between the two.
quote: Before you go leaping to that conclusion, read my stipulations: "as much sex as they are reasonably able to and are comfortable with." Some people will be comfortable engaging in meaningless relationships just for meaningless sex. I doubt you are one of them; I certainly know that I am not. But that doesn't preclude you from being able to practice. My advocacy is for good sex, which doesn't necessarily mean lots of partners.
quote: Some people are. Some people aren't. That's the problem with not knowing what your own particular needs are. Any number of people, for example, are married for a number of years before discovering they are gay; obviously this is something that is useful to know before entering into an otherwise heterosexual partnership! No, sex is not the only way to determine this, but I'd argue that the more data you have to base your decision on, the more likely you are to make a good, informed choice. If you go into it knowing your own wants, needs, and desires, you are less likely to make unpleasant discoveries down the road that can marr an otherwise happy union. ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
MisterP Single Celled Newbie
Posts: 1 |
posted August 02, 2002 19:36
Well well well, I probably have you all beat. I am 24 and never so much as dated. I came so close to scoring, with so many girls and I always said something stupid and blew it. Like just recently I was at a club, and I met this woman in her mid to late 30s. She was really doing some crazy 'ish and I blew because my mind said, need a ride, but my mouth said, "I'm horny." Ouch. That stings. Anyway, I am a newbie, so don't flame me too hard. ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
chicgeek Super Geek
Posts: 148 |
posted August 02, 2002 20:55
Maybe you should work on being more subtle, depending on what kind of girl you're going for. Some chix like that kind of straight-forwardness, but if you're looking for a meaningful, lasting relationship, maybe you should try being more casual. Just a thought ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
chicgeek Super Geek
Posts: 148 |
posted August 02, 2002 20:57
By the way, you haven't gotten me beat by much. I'll be 24 in Sept., and I've never dated. ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
Shadow Geek Larva 
Posts: 29 |
posted August 02, 2002 21:17
It is great to see people who are cool about this. (It seams like so many play into the notion this is somehow undesirable) Personally I am a Christian geek who is also waiting to engage in this activity within a marriage relationship. I think some of my desire to do this is much like others in this forum. I think this can be a very meaningful thing which a couple can learn as they live their lives together. (Marriage is suppose to be a covenant right? Again this a $0.02 from the Shadow but I think there are plenty of good reasons to wait. Sorry btw, I am 25 here as of June. (It doesn't matter how old you are when you do this... it matters who it is with right? IP: Logged |
|
Bregalad Assimilated
Posts: 396 |
posted August 03, 2002 00:08
quote: Hmmmmm, you managed to scare off a cougar in her native habitat, that's actually quite an achievement. Women in their late 30's or 40's who hang around clubs looking for guys under 25 are usually only after one thing. That comment could easily have gotten you more than you bargained for. IP: Logged |
|
chicgeek Super Geek
Posts: 148 |
posted August 03, 2002 11:40
In the immortal words of my sista Lauryn Hill: *sings* "Girls, you know you better WATCH OUT, 'cause guys, some guys are only about THAT THING, THAT THING, THAT THIIIIINNNNGGGGGG." Transversely: "Guys, you know you better WATCH OUT ..." ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
ZorroTheFox BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.
Posts: 1938 |
posted August 03, 2002 14:30
quote: ok ok, so My body isn't a virgin, but My spirit is. I have yet to make a connection with anyone so I usually am somewhere else mentally during the act. Doesn't that count for something? >;o) .......Z IP: Logged |
|
SpikeSpiegel Uber Geek
Posts: 860 |
posted August 03, 2002 14:54
quote: ^_^ goooooooooooooood soooong ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
TheAnnoyedCockroach Uber Geek
Posts: 839 |
posted August 03, 2002 20:03
*whistles* Bad song, bad song, baaad sooOOOOoooong.... Heh, can't resist... ------------------ IP: Logged |
|
AudrieRyan_geekgirl Super Geek
Posts: 117 |
posted August 08, 2002 14:20
I guess I'm still in the wedge of whether or not I want to loose my virginity, because right now I'm in a really good relationship with a really cool guy that I feel I've known forever, but I don't know if he's going to be around after the "deflowering" as some of you put it. I guess I'll have to trust him more. I asked my best friend Kutin about loosing my virginity in general (and if you've been reading my other posts, you'll understand why I didn't mention the guy I'll be going with) and he said that once you loose it, you can't get it back and it's important to have sex with someone that you know and trust and love. Maybe he was pointing to himself....nah... I've not had the best sexual experiences because non of them wanted to happen. The farthest I've gone with a guy is making out. That's it. I'm 16, 17 on 08/29, and I'm very old already. I'm afraid of living with the regret that the one I gave myself to won't be in my life later on, and that will drive me crazy. So I guess I look at marridge as a sort of collateral to giving myself to this person. I don't know. I guess I should have a talk with my mom if she's not out doing something wierd to the dogs. (She lives in Spain right now.) ---------------------------- IP: Logged |
|
neotatsu Uber Geek
Posts: 968 |
posted August 08, 2002 15:00
hrmmm...I'm older than you by three days .. anywho, on to the real point; don't expect your first time to be some wonderful magical event, from what I've been told, and from what I've read, it may not even get too far the first time, especially if your nervous(and considering your past experiences).. Hell, after talking to some of my female friends, I've got a fiew odd stories of 'the first time', for instance, one of my female friends had the misfortune to have a muscle spasm when she climaxed that tensed her up and basically caused her to act like a vice which wouldn't let go without calling an ambulance to come and inject her with a local anesthsia(sp?).. funny to look back on, but damned embarrasing to have happen to someone who's only 17 years old.. Aside from that there are many different possibilities which may happen on the first time, for instance, from what I've heard most women don't really enjoy themselves untill the 7-8th time on average, and the men don't necessarily have much fun for those first several times either.. It may help to be a smidge drunk on your first time, but not too much, after all, you want to remember it don't you?.. also consider the definition of losing ones virginity, in the middle ages virginity was having an intact hymen, which means if you were born with no hymen, or a small one, then you weren't a virgin, because it couldn't be proven that you were. Similarly, if your hymen broke while riding a horse, you were no longer a virgin.. In todays culture, virginity is usually considered to be lost when penetration occurs, but what about lesbian couples? Or gay males? Would anal sex be considered as having lost your virginity? According to records, in the middle ages they used to have anal sex because it was a way to keep the female a 'virgin' but still have sex.. Also consider those who have been raped, most rape victims still refer to themselves as virgins even though they have been penetrated, though against their will. In short the question 'who's a virgin' is a rather broad one, there are women who call themselves virgins because they have abstained for a few years, and others because they have gone from one religion to christianity and all things are made new again through christ jesus(or so they claim, of course).. If a female who's straight experiments with another female before she ever has sex with a man, is she still a virgin? Can you lose your virginity twice(once with a female, once with a male)? I could rant for quite a while on this topic, I have had a lot of female friends relate to me their first experiences, and a lot of male friends who have related having their first experiences, and then an entire group of people I sat with at lunch last year who would love nothing more than to try and instill fear in those who have yet to have sex by regaling them with tales of their first time, and just having sex with virgin females all together..
IP: Logged |
This topic is 3 pages long: 1 2 3 All times are Pacific Time | next newest topic | next oldest topic |
  |
|
� 2002 Geek Culture� All Rights Reserved.
Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.47e
|