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Author Topic:   Who's a Virgin??
rem
Neat Newbie

Posts: 12
From: Big D, Texas
Registered: Aug 2002

posted August 08, 2002 17:16     Click Here to See the Profile for rem     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm 16, turning 17 in two months, and sadly I've never been kissed and have never dated (and therefore am also clearly a virgin ;P)

It doesn't particularly hep that I go to an all-girls school, and I'm a hopeless romantic, so I want my first kiss to be with another first-timer, and same thing for sex. So I'm not really waiting for marriage, just for the right person and the right time, when we're both committed to each other.

-rem

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neotatsu
Uber Geek

Posts: 968
From: A place my soul no longer resides
Registered: Jun 2002

posted August 08, 2002 22:01     Click Here to See the Profile for neotatsu   Click Here to Email neotatsu     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm 16 turning 17 in two weeks, and I hadn't been kissed untill the 11th of last month..

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chicgeek
Super Geek

Posts: 148
From: Houston, TX, USA
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 08, 2002 22:30     Click Here to See the Profile for chicgeek   Click Here to Email chicgeek     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
rem, did you catch my first posting on this thread, where I said I'm 23 (24 next month) and I've never dated, never been kissed, etc? (I just want to assure you that it's not at all freakish for you to be your age and still a virgin.

I determined from a young age that I would wait until marriage, but I've never dated b/c I'd never met anyone I thought would be worth the trouble (overbearing parents). I never put myself into a situation that would get me kissed -- when I was at parties where they played dumb games that involved kissing, I found something else to do b/c I thought it was stupid to kiss someone unless it meant something. (For what it's worth, a lot is exchanged when you swap bodily fluids with someone, even in a kiss. Parasites, for example.)

BTW, I don't think someone can legitimately call him/her self a virgin if he/she has been entered, period (either way), or if he/she has had oral sex.

I do, however, think exception should be made for someone (girl or guy) who was forced into an act. If the only sexual encounter that person has had was non-consentual, but he/she has deliberately abstained otherwise, I think it's OK to consider him/her self to be pure.

For those who have lost it in the past and are now abstaining until marriage, I think it should be called what it is: a 2nd virginity. What's gone is gone.

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"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." -- Voltaire

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Fimbrethil
Geek-in-Training

Posts: 34
From: Olympic Peninsula of Washington
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 09, 2002 02:19     Click Here to See the Profile for Fimbrethil     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by chicgeek:
For those who have lost it in the past and are now abstaining until marriage, I think it should be called what it is: a 2nd virginity. What's gone is gone.

Actually, it's called "celibacy" or "abstinence".
You can't have a 2nd virginity because what's gone is gone.

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spungo
Uber Geek

Posts: 806
From: Hell's toilet
Registered: Jan 2002

posted August 09, 2002 02:35     Click Here to See the Profile for spungo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I always thought it was called 'bad luck'.

------------------
"But you've got everything now
and what a terrible mess I've made of my life."

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snupy
Uber Geek

Posts: 803
From: Chicago
Registered: Mar 2002

posted August 09, 2002 04:12     Click Here to See the Profile for snupy   Click Here to Email snupy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
I always thought it was called 'bad luck'.



No, believe it or not, spungo, there are people who are celibate by choice.

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spungo
Uber Geek

Posts: 806
From: Hell's toilet
Registered: Jan 2002

posted August 09, 2002 04:19     Click Here to See the Profile for spungo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by snupy:

No, believe it or not, spungo, there are people who are celibate by choice.

Hm. Put it this way: nobody on their deathbed ever says 'You know, I really wish I'd got laid less often.'

------------------
"But you've got everything now
and what a terrible mess I've made of my life."

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snupy
Uber Geek

Posts: 803
From: Chicago
Registered: Mar 2002

posted August 09, 2002 06:38     Click Here to See the Profile for snupy   Click Here to Email snupy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Hm. Put it this way: nobody on their deathbed ever says 'You know, I really wish I'd got laid less often.'



I didn't say I was one of them

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chicgeek
Super Geek

Posts: 148
From: Houston, TX, USA
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 09, 2002 13:07     Click Here to See the Profile for chicgeek   Click Here to Email chicgeek     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Hm. Put it this way: nobody on their deathbed ever says 'You know, I really wish I'd got laid less often.'


And this is based on a study by ___________?
How many were interviewed for this?

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"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." -- Voltaire

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chicgeek
Super Geek

Posts: 148
From: Houston, TX, USA
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 09, 2002 13:19     Click Here to See the Profile for chicgeek   Click Here to Email chicgeek     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Hm. Put it this way: nobody on their deathbed ever says 'You know, I really wish I'd got laid less often.'


... That is, unless the person on his/her deathbed were dying of an STD that resulted from being too promiscuous.

(BTW, if someone were to make that statement, and if he/she spoke correct English, the statement would be "You know, I really wish I'd gotten laid less often. )

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"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." -- Voltaire

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Tyler Durden
Super Geek

Posts: 211
From: Fight Club Dallas
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 09, 2002 13:23     Click Here to See the Profile for Tyler Durden   Click Here to Email Tyler Durden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by chicgeek:
(BTW, if someone were to make that statement, and if he/she spoke correct English, the statement would be "You know, I really wish I'd gotten laid less often. )

Don't nobody care about no grammer when they dyin foo...

*sigh*

I miss my old neighborhood back in Houston

-- Jack's Tired Mind

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GASOLINE: For Youth on the Move

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chicgeek
Super Geek

Posts: 148
From: Houston, TX, USA
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 09, 2002 13:24     Click Here to See the Profile for chicgeek   Click Here to Email chicgeek     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Don't make me come over there...

------------------
"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." -- Voltaire

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Tyler Durden
Super Geek

Posts: 211
From: Fight Club Dallas
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 09, 2002 13:28     Click Here to See the Profile for Tyler Durden   Click Here to Email Tyler Durden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by chicgeek:
Don't make me come over there...

come to Richardson? Have fun with the cops... they're crawling on I-45 from Houston to here... they caught me for going 84 in a 70 last month near Corsicana

and if you meant go to my "home" (I think I consider Richardson my home now.), then drive around Bush Airport... and look for the only Asian family in that area

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GASOLINE: For Youth on the Move

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uilleann
Highlie

Posts: 710
From: St Albans, Herts, England
Registered: Apr 2002

posted August 09, 2002 18:49     Click Here to See the Profile for uilleann   Click Here to Email uilleann     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Quoting chicgeek:
(BTW, if someone were to make that statement, and if he/she spoke correct English, the statement would be "You know, I really wish I'd gotten laid less often.)

If you are an American it is. However, for those of us over here in Britain, we actually save ourselves three letters ;-) Go spungo! You show 'em...

- uilleann

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Tyler Durden
Super Geek

Posts: 211
From: Fight Club Dallas
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 09, 2002 22:33     Click Here to See the Profile for Tyler Durden   Click Here to Email Tyler Durden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by uilleann:
If you are an American it is. However, for those of us over here in Britain, we actually save ourselves three letters ;-)

hey, we're not the ones adding an extra 'u' every time we say color, neighbor, behavior, etc.

-- Jack's Webster's Dictionary

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GASOLINE: For Youth on the Move

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chicgeek
Super Geek

Posts: 148
From: Houston, TX, USA
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 09, 2002 22:43     Click Here to See the Profile for chicgeek   Click Here to Email chicgeek     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Tyler Durden:
hey, we're not the ones adding an extra 'u' every time we say color, neighbor, behavior, etc.

-- Jack's Webster's Dictionary


Although I did see a sign in the Heights area that said "neighboorhood". It was hilarious.

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"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." -- Voltaire

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gonzo
Newbie Larva

Posts: 2
From:
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 09, 2002 23:04     Click Here to See the Profile for gonzo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by chicgeek:
I determined from a young age that I would wait until marriage, but I've never dated b/c I'd never met anyone I thought would be worth the trouble (overbearing parents).

Wow! You sound exactly like me, especially the overbearing parents part. For god's sake, I'm 24 about to turn 25 and they still wait up for me when I go out. (I've got to get out of this house)

I never thought my original post would get this far. I want to thank everyone for posting their thoughts.

Anyway, here's my particular quandary... recently I've been really hitting it off with this one girl. We have a lot in common, I'm attracted to her, and I know she likes me (long story), but for some reason I find myself subconsciously screwing things up. I think this all originates from my whole "virgin" issue. My question is, has anyone else found that their virginity has gotten in the way of dating or getting intimate with someone?? I guess I'm subconsciously scared of going out with someone because I know sooner or later they'll expect sex and I'm not sure I'll be ready.

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Tyler Durden
Super Geek

Posts: 211
From: Fight Club Dallas
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 10, 2002 00:42     Click Here to See the Profile for Tyler Durden   Click Here to Email Tyler Durden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by chicgeek:
I did see a sign in the Heights area that said "neighboorhood". It was hilarious.

I'll have to look for it next time I'm driving on W 20th

-- Jack's Toyota Chariot

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GASOLINE: For Youth on the Move

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uilleann
Highlie

Posts: 710
From: St Albans, Herts, England
Registered: Apr 2002

posted August 10, 2002 15:31     Click Here to See the Profile for uilleann   Click Here to Email uilleann     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
gonzo: The idea that you think they "expect sex" is a worrying one. I can't think of anything further to add in terms of actual arguments against it, alas, but I will just offer my concern against anyone who has to have sex to main a relationship. If this girl is the right one for you, then surely she'd accept your feelings and not have sex if you didn't want it. It sound an odd thing to be discussing with her, but maybe you should, I don't know.

- uilleann

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AudrieRyan_geekgirl
Super Geek

Posts: 117
From: The padded cell next to the fire escape
Registered: Jun 2002

posted August 10, 2002 19:09     Click Here to See the Profile for AudrieRyan_geekgirl   Click Here to Email AudrieRyan_geekgirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It's not happened yet but I'm sure it'll happen, and I cannot be drunk while it happens, as I'm an alchoholic. (Ex one, but still one nontheless) It suprises me to see so many chaste people. I live in WhoreTown, USA (not really, but it seems that way) where even the neighbor's 12 year old daughter's not a virgin. (the pregnancy gave that away...) I'm looking for the right TIME as of now, not the right person because I've found the right person.
I think it's perfectly legit for a person to loose their gay virginity as well as their straight one. I don't see it as a staple definition. There's an anal virginity, oral virginity, etc. etc. That's just the way I see it. I'm still "pure" though. I've made out and that's the limit of my encounters. It horrifies me to hear of these people saying, "I took on three girls/guys and one time" and I don't see the point unless you really want the full effect of the commitment and love there.
***I am also fully aware that the first time won't be the best in the world. So many people have told me.***
-----------
Man:"You robbed me of my manhood!"
Woman:"That's petty theft."

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neotatsu
Uber Geek

Posts: 968
From: A place my soul no longer resides
Registered: Jun 2002

posted August 10, 2002 20:06     Click Here to See the Profile for neotatsu   Click Here to Email neotatsu     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*sigh* first time, such a dilemma, isn't it..

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candypants
Maximum Newbie

Posts: 18
From:
Registered: Aug 2002

posted August 10, 2002 20:47     Click Here to See the Profile for candypants   Click Here to Email candypants     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There's a pretty good song by Sensefield called "Save Yourself" which is kinda appropriate for this subject.

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chicgeek
Super Geek

Posts: 148
From: Houston, TX, USA
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 10, 2002 21:41     Click Here to See the Profile for chicgeek   Click Here to Email chicgeek     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Tyler Durden:
I'll have to look for it next time I'm driving on W 20th

-- Jack's Toyota Chariot



Sorry, but they already took it down. (It had an expired list of City Council.)

I'll let you know when I next see a funny misspelling on a sign.

------------------
"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." -- Voltaire

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Tyler Durden
Super Geek

Posts: 211
From: Fight Club Dallas
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 10, 2002 21:49     Click Here to See the Profile for Tyler Durden   Click Here to Email Tyler Durden     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by chicgeek:
I'll let you know when I next see a funny misspelling on a sign.

I heard they misspelled Enron Field as Minute Maid Park...

-- Jack's Astros Cap

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GASOLINE: For Youth on the Move

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Steen
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.

Posts: 1491
From: Maryville, TN, USA
Registered: Jan 2000

posted August 10, 2002 22:09     Click Here to See the Profile for Steen   Click Here to Email Steen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
gonzo wrote:
I guess I'm subconsciously scared of going out with someone because I know sooner or later they'll expect sex and I'm not sure I'll be ready.

Consider this: If the person you're with is expecting sex and will get upset with you because you're not ready, is that person really the right person for you in the first place?

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annie
Assimilated

Posts: 359
From: somewhere in Canada
Registered: Sep 2001

posted August 10, 2002 23:11     Click Here to See the Profile for annie   Click Here to Email annie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Steen:
gonzo wrote:
I guess I'm subconsciously scared of going out with someone because I know sooner or later they'll expect sex and I'm not sure I'll be ready.

Consider this: If the person you're with is expecting sex and will get upset with you because you're not ready, is that person really the right person for you in the first place?


Hey, I was going to say that!

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spungo
Uber Geek

Posts: 806
From: Hell's toilet
Registered: Jan 2002

posted August 12, 2002 01:53     Click Here to See the Profile for spungo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by chicgeek:
(BTW, if someone were to make that statement, and if he/she spoke correct English, the statement would be "You know, I really wish I'd gotten laid less often. )


Ok, ok - the character I invented specifically for the purpose of that line may not speak correct English... it wasn't me, per se.

------------------
"But you've got everything now
and what a terrible mess I've made of my life."

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BlueLaser
Geek Larva

Posts: 22
From: Singapore
Registered: Aug 2002

posted August 12, 2002 05:52     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueLaser   Click Here to Email BlueLaser     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by AudrieRyan_geekgirl:
I'm 16, 17 on 08/29, and I'm very old already. I'm afraid of living with the regret that the one I gave myself to won't be in my life later on, and that will drive me crazy. So I guess I look at marridge as a sort of collateral to giving myself to this person. I don't know. I guess I should have a talk with my mom if she's not out doing something wierd to the dogs. (She lives in Spain right now.)


Old??!?!!? If u're old then i'm ancient! I'm 22 now and still a virgin. Not really bothered about being one, but instead proud to be one. Coz i know when my sweet darling comes along, she'll know that what she would get is first hand goods straight from the factory, not some over the counter product that was passed along until it reaches the stores.

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Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.

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neotatsu
Uber Geek

Posts: 968
From: A place my soul no longer resides
Registered: Jun 2002

posted August 12, 2002 18:20     Click Here to See the Profile for neotatsu   Click Here to Email neotatsu     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by BlueLaser:
Old??!?!!? If u're old then i'm ancient! I'm 22 now and still a virgin.


she ment she's worldly wise, she's been living on her own since a rather young age so she had to grow up quickly, and apparantly has run into a few of the worlds more horrendous problems along the way..

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Even god has a sense of humor, just look at the platypus.

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Akira
Super Geek

Posts: 218
From: LA LA land
Registered: Oct 2001

posted August 13, 2002 17:05     Click Here to See the Profile for Akira   Click Here to Email Akira     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Steen:
Consider this: If the person you're with is expecting sex and will get upset with you because you're not ready, is that person really the right person for you in the first place?

I'd say that depends on whether they view sex as an act of sensation or an expression of love...if the latter, rejection can hurt very deeply, if for no other reason than the implication that the love they feel and wish to express is not returned.

Sorry, but there are no pat answers that apply to everyone when it comes to sex. (Except that one )

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I am Dyslexic of Borg.
Prepare to have your ass laminated.

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Jas
Super Geek

Posts: 198
From: Land of Blues Guitar
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 13, 2002 17:25     Click Here to See the Profile for Jas   Click Here to Email Jas     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hmmmmm i'm about as virgin as you can get...

i think i've hugged 2 girls in my life...

and cuddled with one.

yup... i'm experienced... hendrix would be proud.

------------------
I. Love. MUSIC!

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viggy
Geek Apprentice

Posts: 49
From: Lancaster, PA USA
Registered: Aug 2002

posted August 13, 2002 18:30     Click Here to See the Profile for viggy   Click Here to Email viggy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
awww poor jas.. if i ever meet you ill be sure to make that 3 hugs!

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daveyt
Mini-Geek

Posts: 53
From: Vancouver, BC
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 13, 2002 20:13     Click Here to See the Profile for daveyt   Click Here to Email daveyt     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Akira, nicely put. I don't think that anyone can tell you how to live your live, or what should be important to you. All we can do is offer up advice from our own experiences. So, here goes:

I've always lived life with the belief that everyone on this planet has something to teach me. Some of the lessons have been difficult and some have been enjoyable. Really enjoyable...

But, anyway, the point is that if you've got a patient teacher, or someone willing to learn with you, then it's all good, but if they are expecting you to be the teacher, well, you could run into some difficulties.

With sex, when it's good, it's really good, and when it's bad, it's really bad. And when it's just okay, it's only that way for one of you.

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What the..?! How'd I get here?

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Stickist
Geek-in-Training

Posts: 39
From: Colorado Springs, CO, USA
Registered: Mar 2002

posted August 13, 2002 20:35     Click Here to See the Profile for Stickist   Click Here to Email Stickist     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Nope, I took the first chance that I came across. I was 18 at the time- my one and only relationship.

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AudrieRyan_geekgirl
Super Geek

Posts: 117
From: The padded cell next to the fire escape
Registered: Jun 2002

posted August 14, 2002 17:45     Click Here to See the Profile for AudrieRyan_geekgirl   Click Here to Email AudrieRyan_geekgirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes, I'm worldy old. I'm smart, too. I've got my share of grey hairs and laugh lines, but I'm young at heart.
I've decided to wait a while because I think my boyfriend and I are going to break up soon, as I think he is becoming more of a woman than I am. Which isn't so bad, as long as nothing happens along the way, I suppose. But I'm scared of not meeting anyone else who cared as much for me. Due to the 9/11 dilemma, Middle Eastern people have been persecuted for being the race they are, and I am part Middle Eastern, though I don't look it as much as I look Mexican or Egyptian. When I tell people my race(s), they are repulsed or wary of me, as if I'll hurt them. Human leeryness, I suppose.
But it's getting on my nerves. I know when I meet the right guy he won't care about the color of my skin or what country I came from. I know he'll love me for me. But until then, the incompitence to grasp individual actions stigmatized the rest of us. *sigh*...
I'm going to go kill a party clown.

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Some people take yoga, other people take aerobics; I TAKE PROZAC!!!!

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TheAnnoyedCockroach
Uber Geek

Posts: 839
From: The Devil's Dance Floor
Registered: Feb 2002

posted August 14, 2002 18:09     Click Here to See the Profile for TheAnnoyedCockroach   Click Here to Email TheAnnoyedCockroach     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Kill a party clown? I say, that's a bit harsh, isn't it? I mean, a circus clown I could understand (those carnie bastards, always trying to give me balloons), but party clowns are usually homeless bums!

Race, colour, and the like shouldn't be a factor for anybody, but it unfortunately is for much of the world.

Makes me glad I'm not human. Roaches get along with each other just fine.

Or maybe I just think that tan skin is sexy.

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"growl growl mumble mah baby done growl mumble mumble growl."

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Steen
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.

Posts: 1491
From: Maryville, TN, USA
Registered: Jan 2000

posted August 16, 2002 10:37     Click Here to See the Profile for Steen   Click Here to Email Steen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
AudrieRyan_geekgirl wrote:
wary of me, as if I'll hurt them.
and
I'm going to go kill a party clown.

Umm....

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ZorroTheFox
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.

Posts: 1938
From: Milton, WA, USA
Registered: Oct 2001

posted August 16, 2002 15:16     Click Here to See the Profile for ZorroTheFox   Click Here to Email ZorroTheFox     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My bottle of olive oil is virgin, does that count? ........Z

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AudrieRyan_geekgirl
Super Geek

Posts: 117
From: The padded cell next to the fire escape
Registered: Jun 2002

posted August 17, 2002 20:56     Click Here to See the Profile for AudrieRyan_geekgirl   Click Here to Email AudrieRyan_geekgirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm still going to be a virgin after all: my boyfriend wants to become a woman, so therefor, I'm not going to do anything with him, because he wants to give men a "woman's touch". Eh, as long as we're still friends, I said. He's a really great person and I love him as anything.
Ok, OK, I'll go kill Barney. That'll make everyone happy.

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Self-Defense Teacher: "OK, what do you do when someone hits you?"
Student: "I'm going to cry."

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TheAnnoyedCockroach
Uber Geek

Posts: 839
From: The Devil's Dance Floor
Registered: Feb 2002

posted August 17, 2002 21:03     Click Here to See the Profile for TheAnnoyedCockroach   Click Here to Email TheAnnoyedCockroach     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You seem to run into the most fascinating sort of people...

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"growl growl mumble mah baby done growl mumble mumble growl."

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