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Author	Topic: What is your Law?
ASM65816 Geek Posts: 85 From: Registered: Mar 2001	posted September 21, 2001 22:54 Entropy Increases with Time.... (especially so if you are desparately trying to reverse the trend.) This may also explain that thing about a box filled with cables. 2nd (?) Law of Thermodynamics .... ------------------ Once a proud programmer of Apple II's, he now spends his days and nights in cheap dives fraternizing with exotic dancers.... IP: Logged
DivaGeek Super Geek Posts: 142 From: The city by that great big dead lake Registered: Sep 2001	posted September 22, 2001 01:00 A real geek girlfriend told me the following laws of electronics: The part needing replacing is always behind the panel with the most screws. Once you have removed the panel, you realise it's the wrong one. Upon replacing it, you will discover you forgot to replace the gasket. The hidden screw law: Upon removing the obvious four screws, you will discover a hidden 5th screw when you break the panel attempting to remove it. ------------------ I see dumb people...they're everywhere...they walk around like everyone else...they don't even know that they're dumb. IP: Logged
Napoleon unregistered	posted September 23, 2001 19:14 All animals are equal But some are more equal than others IP: Logged
Xanoxt R'rilander Super Geek Posts: 239 From: Moscow, Russia Registered: Sep 2001	posted September 24, 2001 08:11 quote: Originally posted by Napoleon: All animals are equal But some are more equal than others Gods made us all equal. Then came man and invented programming languages to correct that stupid fault. ------------------ Be afraid. Be very, very afraid! IP: Logged
quantumfluff Highlie Posts: 672 From: the ether Registered: Jun 2000	posted September 24, 2001 09:11 Never answer the phone if the caller ID says "private". Sex in the woods requires more mosquito repellant than you have. To get the true length of time a project will take, bring your initial estimate up to the next higher unit and add 1. A two day project takes 3 weeks, a 2 week project takes three months and a 2 month project takes 3 quarters. IP: Logged
Mr Bill Alpha Geek Posts: 315 From: currently in orbit Registered: Oct 2000	posted September 30, 2001 21:22 The one item you forget to take with you when you leave the house will be the one item you most need that day. IP: Logged
DivaGeek Super Geek Posts: 142 From: The city by that great big dead lake Registered: Sep 2001	posted October 01, 2001 00:49 The clothes you want are never in your size. ------------------ I see dumb people...they're everywhere...they walk around like everyone else...they don't even know that they're dumb. IP: Logged
Xanoxt R'rilander Super Geek Posts: 239 From: Moscow, Russia Registered: Sep 2001	posted October 02, 2001 14:20 The law you want to remember, you always don't remember wording of. ------------------ Be afraid. Be very, very afraid! IP: Logged
LostInColorado Geek Posts: 73 From: Thornton, CO, USA Registered: Aug 2001	posted October 02, 2001 20:03 If at first you don't succeed, change the rules. ------------------ LostInColorado To the optimist, the glass is halfway full. To the pessimist, the glass is halfway empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. IP: Logged
plastic Super Geek Posts: 158 From: Land of Lincoln Registered: Apr 2001	posted October 07, 2001 22:09 The one with the cute uniforms and the real big guns. IP: Logged
Dukebytes unregistered	posted October 08, 2001 05:42 RFC 1925 - love that one quote: Originally posted by Migrant Programmer: Good, fast, cheap. Pick two. IP: Logged
BaronCarlos Newbie Larva Posts: 2 From: Tucson, AZ 85716 Registered: Oct 2001	posted October 18, 2001 16:23 Carlos' Survival Guide to Life, the Universe, and Everything. 1. Don't Panic and Always carry a Towel 2. Always accept Free Food 3. Never Date or have relationships in the Workplace 4. There are no excuses 5. Face life head on 6. Success is not a right 7. Never find yourself overpaid 8. Always be on time 9. Always wear the right color socks 10. Always have a firm handshake 11. Always leave the seat down 12. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer 13. Never point a weapon unless you are firing it 14. Never put your ducks in a row 15. When in doubt, read the instructions IP: Logged
Punchcard Geek-in-Training Posts: 38 From: A concrete bunker on a volcanic island, deep in the South Pacific... Registered: Jan 2001	posted November 10, 2001 23:32 More Half-Glass-O-Water laws: ------------------------------ To the perpetually dissatisfied, the glass is ONLY half full. To the morbidly depressive pessimist, the glass is only half empty. Those of us who are familiar with applications of the laws of fluid dynamics know that the glass is completely full, but only half of its contents are liquid. :-B ---------------------------------------- EXTRA FOR EXPERTS: Now that you've got your glass of water, how do make a pin float on top of the water? (It can be done quite simply! Any takers?) IP: Logged
EngrBohn Highlie Posts: 686 From: United States Registered: Jul 2000	posted November 11, 2001 03:27 Punchcard Now that you've got your glass of water, how do make a pin float on top of the water? Simple. Stick it in a cork. ------------------ cb Oooh! What does this button do!? IP: Logged
LifetimeTrekker Alpha Geek Posts: 326 From: Albuquerque, NM, UD Registered: Sep 2001	posted November 11, 2001 07:29 The problem with getting your ducks in a row is that, from the right angles, it's too easy to take them all out with one shot. IP: Logged
xobender Alpha Geek Posts: 265 From: Lost in a five and a half mintue hallway. Registered: Mar 2001	posted November 11, 2001 14:12 quote: Originally posted by LostInColorado: If at first you don't succeed, change the rules. If at first you don't succeed , send someone else in to fix it . Talk softly and carry a Stun gun . When ever your in a busy line never take the smaller line or the line your in will suddenly get shorter and faster than the smaller line you moved to . IP: Logged
xobender Alpha Geek Posts: 265 From: Lost in a five and a half mintue hallway. Registered: Mar 2001	posted November 11, 2001 14:21 quote: Originally posted by Punchcard: [B]EXTRA FOR EXPERTS: Now that you've got your glass of water, how do make a pin float on top of the water? (It can be done quite simply! Any takers?) B] Hire an technical engineer and a couple of advisors ( someone to laugh while the job gets done ) and then hire a corkmaker who can't speak english to fit a proper cork for the application ( don't forget to hire a translator ) . that or.. My method : Make the water boil and add a double portion of jello mix , let it cool for a day and then toss the needle on top . IP: Logged
Steen SuperBlabberMouth! Posts: 1162 From: Maryville, TN, USA Registered: Jan 2000	posted November 11, 2001 15:24 Most regular sized needles will float on water pretty easily if you simply lower them to the surface carefully. A paper clip bent out into an inverted V shape with little hooks bent at each end works well. IP: Logged
Punchcard Geek-in-Training Posts: 38 From: A concrete bunker on a volcanic island, deep in the South Pacific... Registered: Jan 2001	posted November 12, 2001 03:16 Steen is almost correct. Anyond who mentioned corks is a cheater and should hang their head in shame. The correct way to make a pin/needle float on water is to first put a wet strip of paper on top of the water. Then settle the pin on top of the paper. Eventually, the paper will sink, leaving the pin floating on top of the water. Don't believe me? Try it! Okay, try it again. Hmmmmmm try it one more time, this time with paper that hasn't been laminated or plasitcated beforehand. And remember my favourite law: "With the magic of science, ANYTHING is possible!" Also remember, "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried." IP: Logged
EngrBohn Highlie Posts: 686 From: United States Registered: Jul 2000	posted November 12, 2001 03:38 I shan't hold my head in shame -- the pin will float; indeed, the pin will float with overkill. I don't do anything half-assed. And I'm not a cheater -- the problem specification mentioned nothing about floatation aids. Ergo, the presence and absense of corks both satisfy the preconditions. ------------------ cb Oooh! What does this button do!? IP: Logged
Greg Wooledge Alpha Geek Posts: 254 From: Lorain, OH, USA Registered: Jan 2000	posted November 12, 2001 08:22 EngrBohn gets points added for achieving a stable equilibrium instead of an unstable one. (The pin "floating" by itself on the surface tension of the water will sink if you bump the table the glass is sitting on.) However, since his implementation is more expensive than the one suggested by Steen or Punchcard, a point must be deducted. IP: Logged
theJacob Super Geek Posts: 141 From: Colorado Registered: Nov 2001	posted November 14, 2001 15:49 Barth's Distinction: There are two types of people: Those who divide people into two types, and those who don't. ------------------ IP: Logged
Evilbunny Highlie Posts: 614 From: A Calculus book near you... Registered: Nov 2001	posted November 14, 2001 16:04 Don't worry until it happens... IP: Logged
Punchcard Geek-in-Training Posts: 38 From: A concrete bunker on a volcanic island, deep in the South Pacific... Registered: Jan 2001	posted November 15, 2001 14:25 Fine, fine, use your corks then. But don't come swimming over to MY boat-O-pins-and-needles when you're all out of corks in a flood. IP: Logged
ZorroTheFox SuperBlabberMouth! Posts: 1117 From: Milton, WA, USA Registered: Oct 2001	posted November 18, 2001 17:16 It is easier to regret the things you did, rather than the things you didn't do........Z IP: Logged
Evilbunny Highlie Posts: 614 From: A Calculus book near you... Registered: Nov 2001	posted November 30, 2001 20:25 long thread... IP: Logged
Swiss Mercenary BlabberMouth, the Next Generation. Posts: 1461 From: All the way from the land of Chocolate, Cheese and Cuckoo Clocks. Registered: Feb 2000	posted December 03, 2001 02:57 Not the longest that we have had though... (too lazy to go off and find it). IP: Logged
Tau Zero BlabberMouth, the Next Generation. Posts: 1685 From: Registered: Jan 2000	posted December 04, 2001 07:38 I'm sure it wasn't the orbital mechanics thread, was it? I think that one only won for density/opacity. IP: Logged
Steen SuperBlabberMouth! Posts: 1162 From: Maryville, TN, USA Registered: Jan 2000	posted December 04, 2001 09:49 The longest is, I'm sure, the one where newbies were encouraged to post which turned into dozens of people posting repeatedly just to up their post count. The orbital mechanics one was a lot more fun to read, though, and I'm sure it contained a much higher word count IP: Logged
bizzybody Geek-in-Training Posts: 32 From: Idaho, USA. Registered: Oct 2001	posted December 23, 2001 01:05 OK, here's one the older geeks should be familiar with. An unwatched dot matrix printer will always missfeed and jam. IP: Logged
LifetimeTrekker Alpha Geek Posts: 326 From: Albuquerque, NM, UD Registered: Sep 2001	posted December 23, 2001 10:28 quote: Originally posted by bizzybody: OK, here's one the older geeks should be familiar with. [b]An unwatched dot matrix printer will always missfeed and jam.[/B] Bullshit! You can look right at it and watch it misfeed and jam every time you use the damn thing! IP: Logged
BattyMac Newbie Larva Posts: 2 From: Half way down a bottle of Gin Registered: Jan 2002	posted January 05, 2002 15:09 I suppose I've missed the bandwagon, this topic's a bit stale, but I'll add my two cents... "Need does not dictate entitlement" so there. ------------------ --BattyMac ^o^ I've come to dance in my goatskin pants, 'round this ancient ruin. IP: Logged
Evilbunny Highlie Posts: 614 From: A Calculus book near you... Registered: Nov 2001	posted January 06, 2002 17:24 Waiting for the bus is not a good thing if you happen to be the bus driver... Never say "oops" in the operating room... IP: Logged
Evilbunny Highlie Posts: 614 From: A Calculus book near you... Registered: Nov 2001	posted January 06, 2002 17:25 Waiting for the bus is not a good thing if you happen to be the bus driver... Never say "oops" in the operating room... IP: Logged
ZorroTheFox SuperBlabberMouth! Posts: 1117 From: Milton, WA, USA Registered: Oct 2001	posted January 06, 2002 18:56 If at first you don't succede, deny that you were ever trying......Z IP: Logged
BlueAntoid Geek Posts: 63 From: Colorado Registered: Dec 2001	posted January 07, 2002 14:45 The first 90% of any project will take the first 90% of the time, and the last 10% of said project will take the last 90% of the time. Oh, and this isn't really a law, but... Seminars se-mi-narz fr. "semi" and "arse," hence, any half-***ed discussion. IP: Logged
Evilbunny Highlie Posts: 614 From: A Calculus book near you... Registered: Nov 2001	posted January 07, 2002 14:51 This is, quite possibly, the most intresting thread I have ever been on... IP: Logged
EngrBohn Highlie Posts: 686 From: United States Registered: Jul 2000	posted January 08, 2002 07:45 - BlueAntoid - Seminars se-mi-narz fr. "semi" and "arse," hence, any half-**ed discussion. Expert ek'spurt* ex="has been", and spurt="drip under pressure". ------------------ cb Oooh! What does this button do!? IP: Logged
SupportGoddess Highlie Posts: 527 From: The Digital Temple Registered: Jul 2001	posted January 11, 2002 16:28 If doing it could get you on the Jerry Springer show, don't. (Of course daytime television would lose a lot of viewers if everyone followed that... ) ------------------ reality.sys corrupted. universe halted. reboot (y/n)? IP: Logged
Aiyana Geek-in-Training Posts: 39 From: Columbus, OH USA Registered: Jan 2002	posted January 13, 2002 11:02 An irrefutable law, in the immortal words of the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight... "An object at rest cannot be stopped!" Man, I miss the animated version of "The Tick"... IP: Logged

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