May only help you feel a little better, but look at the implication of your statement -- there *are* geeks who can be taken. Just keep looking.

My life has a tendency of bringing me into contact with girls online (ICQ, Aimster, IRC etc) and generally nothing comes of it. However, on about June 17th last year, the weekend during which I finished, and put up, my current website, I went looking on ICQ for an online companion, and my efforts were rewarded. Despite changing times and a long absence, she came online again on Sunday, and it was good to be together again. More recently, another girl looked me up on ICQ and we get on well.

However, there is but a small issue, one that prevents us from becoming romantically involved. I think there's a good chance that one of them would be my girlfriend, were not the first girl initially 4700 (when still in Colorado) and now 5400 miles from me, and the latter girl (a mere) 4200 miles away, in Nebraska. To summarise, distance really sucks. I've not gone insane yet, but others around have suffered the torments of my mind.

If you meet someone online who is far from you, then it cannot be avoided. But if you're seeking romance, don't, whatever you do, go looking for someone on another continent, it'll drive you spare.

It worked for me! I'm about to celebrate three years happily married to a lady I first struck up a newsgroup/e-mail friendship with in 1995/6.

But honestly I don't think I could reccomend "the whole 'net relationship thing" - particularly if it crosses large distances (3,500 miles) or international boundaries (She USA, me UK). That 'net relationship thing takes an awfully large amount of work and can run awfully s-l-o-w when you hit the point of needing to spend some serious time together - which means someone having to uproot their life - which means a) waiting untill you are really, really sure about this b) getting all the planets/job stuff/where to live in the right conjunction.

And don't get me started on immigration bureaucracy...

If your relationship can survive that stress-test then it's pretty strong, but if it dosen't survive then both of you would have lost a huge investment of time, energy (and probably money) finding out what you could have found out much quicker and easier in a more conventional relationship.

There are people for whom it works very well. If you are sure you are one of them, go for it. If not, go for it cautiously and keep all other options open and active.

quote:

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...or wait, am i taken by my wife.

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Hmm... I didn't know you'd married your computer...

quote:

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Originally posted by Rednivek:
Janeway, join the Geekculture IRC channels!

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We have irc channels?

quote:

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Originally posted by diablo-d3:
We have irc channels?

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quote:

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Originally posted by ZorroTheFox:
I'm not too young, I'm not taken, but I am damaged goods. I am the blue light special of geekdom..........Z

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"Damaged goods." Heh. Interesting way of putting it. Lemme guess -- damaged as often as possible, right?

I can see (and hear) it now: "Whip me, beat me, make me invest in Enron!" -- all said while wearing a custom-made fox outfit, no doubt. Dammit, now I gotta go scrub my brain with brillo pads. It's the curse of a photographic imagination, ya know.

I tip my hat to you, Zorro. You are an inspiration to aspiring perverts everywhere. And perspiring ones as well, I suspect.

Stormtalon

------------------
Those who are easily offended should be.

quote:

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Originally posted by macadddikt18:
well you know what they say about blue light specials. there is a reason they are blue light's and it's because you never get your money's worth out of them
Nayt

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it's a good thing I don't charge much then, I wonder if K-mart would let Me endorse a line of products..........Z

quote:

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Originally posted by Stormtalon:
"Damaged goods." Heh. Interesting way of putting it. Lemme guess -- damaged as often as possible, right?

I can see (and hear) it now: "Whip me, beat me, make me invest in Enron!" -- all said while wearing a custom-made fox outfit, no doubt. Dammit, now I gotta go scrub my brain with brillo pads. It's the curse of a photographic imagination, ya know.

I tip my hat to you, Zorro. You are an inspiration to aspiring perverts everywhere. And perspiring ones as well, I suspect.

Stormtalon

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quote:

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Originally posted by ZorroTheFox:
it's a good thing I don't charge much then, I wonder if K-mart would let Me endorse a line of products..........Z

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Please, I don't want to know.....

Actually, I do. Enlighten me on what kind of products you would endorse. (The custom fox outfit sounds groovy-fox ears, furry red thong, a tale, a little red bowtie...mmm *drools*. What about a faux leopard-print loincloth? Strawberry/whipcream baskets for two... Ooh, I know, what about-oops, I forgot, there may be innocents about).

quote:

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Originally posted by Janeway:
Please, I don't want to know.....

Actually, I do. Enlighten me on what kind of products you would endorse. (The custom fox outfit sounds groovy-fox ears, furry red thong, a tale, a little red bowtie...mmm *drools*. What about a faux leopard-print loincloth? Strawberry/whipcream baskets for two... Ooh, I know, what about-oops, I forgot, there may be innocents about).

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Hopefully not for long...the innocents will get an education as long as they hang out here.

quote:

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Originally posted by Janeway:
Please, I don't want to know.....

Actually, I do. Enlighten me on what kind of products you would endorse. (The custom fox outfit sounds groovy-fox ears, furry red thong, a tale, a little red bowtie...mmm *drools*. What about a faux leopard-print loincloth? Strawberry/whipcream baskets for two... Ooh, I know, what about-oops, I forgot, there may be innocents about).

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quote:

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Originally posted by Iain-F:
Janeway writes:
> I don't even know if I could do the whole 'Net relationship thing.
> I know it works for some people, though.

It worked for me! I'm about to celebrate three years happily married to a lady I first struck up a newsgroup/e-mail friendship with in 1995/6.

But honestly I don't think I could reccomend "the whole 'net relationship thing" - particularly if it crosses large distances (3,500 miles) or international boundaries (She USA, me UK). That 'net relationship thing takes an awfully large amount of work and can run awfully s-l-o-w when you hit the point of needing to spend some serious time together - which means someone having to uproot their life - which means a) waiting untill you are really, really sure about this b) getting all the planets/job stuff/where to live in the right conjunction.

And don't get me started on immigration bureaucracy...

If your relationship can survive that stress-test then it's pretty strong, but if it dosen't survive then both of you would have lost a huge investment of time, energy (and probably money) finding out what you could have found out much quicker and easier in a more conventional relationship.

There are people for whom it works very well. If you are sure you are one of them, go for it. If not, go for it cautiously and keep all other options open and active.

By the way, when we met on-line neither of us was looking for anything so bloody complicated as a trans-atlantic relationship. That's just the way it worked out.
--
Iain

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Nayt got one of Zorro's jokes! Nayt got one of Zorro's jokes! Nayt got--

Wait... is that a good or a bad thing?

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Originally posted by Janeway:
Ack! My poor virgin mind. Must...remove...images...

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Oh, no! It's the Shatner imitation!

quote:

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Originally posted by TheAnnoyedCockroach:
*Gasp*

Nayt got one of Zorro's jokes! Nayt got one of Zorro's jokes! Nayt got--

Wait... is that a good or a bad thing?

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Good. Nayt's mind needs some filth. Too much purity is not good (it's a sort of yin-yang, hot-cold, balance of good and evil kind of thing).

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Originally posted by ZorroTheFox:
the list could be almost endless. if it can be used for play, it can be endorsed. (clothes pins, rope, duct tape, plumb bobs, bamboo skewers, leather, brushes, ........ummmm, I'll be right back, I must send a few more kittens on their way............Z)

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for nayt's notebook:

clothes pins can be attached to sensitive body part to create very enjoyable pain for the masochist.

rope and duct tape are used to secure your partner, keep them from getting away, pain, there are just too many fun uses to list.

plumb bobs when affixed to the clothes pins via fishing line allow the pins to tug even harder on the sensitive parts. they are usually non corrosive and easy to clean.

bamboo skewers are nice for poking those tender parts, some masochists really love them

leather, well duh. clothes, toys, furniture, the list is incredible

Or at least, I hope he is.

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Originally posted by Janeway:
Where is my true geek love? The few geeks I've found around here are either:
1. taken
2. too young

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and there is my $0.02

quote:

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Originally posted by Tek:
*pops up from hole* YAY LURKING IS FUN!!
Ducks back into hole to avoid hail of fox tails and rocks

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*Janeway beans Tek on the head with a fox tail* Couldn't resist.

quote:

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Also posted by Tek:
Dont feel bad janeway i have the same problem all the geekesses i meetare taken too young or when they say their into computers it means they know how to copy files to a floppy.

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Actually, this gives me a new idea for a geeky pick-up line...
"My floppy, your hard drive, care to transfer files?" Maybe they were trying to pick you up and you didn't even know it.

quote:

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Originally posted by Iain-F:
It worked for me! I'm about to celebrate three years happily married to a lady I first struck up a newsgroup/e-mail friendship with in 1995/6.

But honestly I don't think I could reccomend "the whole 'net relationship thing" - particularly if it crosses large distances or international boundaries...
Originally posted by snupy:
I'd like to hear more if you don't mind-how long did you communicate before meeting, how did you deal with the complications, etc?

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Let's see. We first became aware of each other through newsgroup postings in late 94 or early 95, but didn't start e-mailing each other directly untill about mid-late 95. It was mistaken identity at first, there was a guy on the group called Ian and myself (Iain). She replied to one of Ian's posts but attributed his post to me. That started our e-mail correspondence. This was not my only e-mail correspondence at the time (nor my most active). Some months later we both went through break-ups and did quite a lot of crying on each other's virtual shoulders, all by e-mail. We joked and occasionally flirted with each other on the newsgroup (we both joked and flirted with several people).

We actually met (for about 3 days) in September 1996, so first meeting about 15 months from first e-mail. I had the opportunity to fly on a round-the-world ticket to Korea to install a machine my company had sold, then across the US visiting people I knew from the newsgroup. Not something I could have afforded from my own pocket. I started in San-Fransisco and worked my way east. By the time I met her I was already smitten with a girl I had met in the Bay Area (It was entirely hormonal and I recovered by new year). So, we were still "just friends", but around then we did start to talk on the phone - which helped greatly with getting over my California flake/airhead (I thought they were a comedian's stereotype - I was amazed to find that they actually exist and disconcerted at the havoc she caused as she blundered through life).

This is gonna be a long story Snupy, are you *really* sure you want to know?

A few months later (spring 97) she quit her job (it had gone sour due to a change of management) and decided to do the hostelling tour of Europe that she had long been promising herself. Her main focus was England/Ireland/Scotland and (being handily placed in the geographical middle of that) I invited her to use my place as "base camp" - a place to rest up and do the washing between weeks in Scotland, Ireland etc.

Within days of us getting together we had a romance going. So... almost 2 years from first contact to the friendship becoming a romance, about 2.5 years from first becoming aware of each other.

She was intending for her tour to last 2 months, but we decided to pay the airline change penalty and extend it to 3 months (the most they would allow). That extra month was to be spent as a trial period of living together - not enough time to know if we wanted to marry, but hopefully enough to find out if we drove each other round the bend.

We did not drive each other round the bend.

So she returned to the US and stayed there. We were exchanging probably more than one e-mail per day and a long phonecall each weekend. (If you want to know how to use ICT {Information Communications Technologies} effectively or to know which phone company has the best rates, just ask a geek who is doing the LDR thing).

We decided that as I was part-way through a degree in the UK (with credit that would not fully transfer to the US) and she was the one between jobs, she would come to the UK. We both did a lot of research into the possibilities of her getting a job in the UK (a very long shot). That Christmas I took all of my annual Leave in one block, and so managed to visit her and her family in the US for almost a month. So, second meeting 9 months after reaching "romance" status.

We continued the search for ways to get her across here as an independant and self-financing person, but there was simply no way.

So she took the extremely brave decision to uproot and come over anyway. She put most of her stuff in storage, sold a bunch, shipped a pallet with 1/8th ton of stuff to me and came over again in August 98 on a 6 month tourist visa. The customs officer was a bit dubious about why a "tourist" needed an eighth of a ton of stuff - including an Apple Mac, but accepted my explanation of a trial living together period and decided not to push the point of why could'nt she use my PC.

So our third meeting 1 year 3 months after achieving "romance" status. We lived together from August to December, having decided that in December we would take the decision to get engaged or not. We knew that after being in the UK almost 6 months UK immigration would not allow her back in as a "tourist" untill another 6 months had passed. But if we were engaged she would be admitted as a fiancee.

In December we got engaged and travelled to the US for (the now almost regular) Christmas with her family. Early January we went to Chicago to get the fiancee visa from the British Consulate (Very nice address - in the Wrigley Building at the start of the mag. mile.) This piece of bureaucracy was fairly painless, but rather expensive (excuse me, is'nt this what I'm paying my taxes for?).

She stayed in the US for 3 months selling a lot more of her stuff, shipping some, giving or lending stuff to friends. And having lots of farewell lunches and dinners. She came back to the UK in March, which activated the fiancee visa giving her 6 months to get married or leave the country. We were married in late May of 1999, just over 2 years from having started our romance and almost 4 years from first contact.

From then on all our immigration bureaucracy was free, and correspondingly much less efficient/pleasant.

So, as you can see it is not a quick or simple process and takes huge patience, dedication and bravery to make it work. Most of the bravery hers, I have to say. I suspect that if we had known at the beginning of the relationship how complicated it would become, we might have just stayed friends.
--
Iain-F

quote:

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Originally posted by TheAnnoyedCockroach:
In a graphic mood tonight, Zorro?

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just helping to educate the underenlightened.........Z

quote:

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Originally posted by Xanthine:
Naw, he's just spelling it out for Nayt.

Or at least, I hope he is.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Janeway:
Actually, this gives me a new idea for a geeky pick-up line...
"My floppy, your hard drive, care to transfer files?" Maybe they were trying to pick you up and you didn't even know it.

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AHH ha ha hahahaha heh sniff sniff
ok im better god if someone said that to me i swear i would pass out or ask for their hand (in marrage)