I want to make a move and tell her about my crush, and I like do it in a rather romantic way... But I don't want to scare her away, and I don't want to kill the possibility of a friendship. It is complicated by a few stray varibles as well. So, I guess my real questions are:

1.) What is a romantic, but not intimidating way of asking someone out?

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Originally posted by GameMaster:
1.) What is a romantic, but not intimidating way of asking someone out?

2.) How do I draw a shy geekette out of her shell?

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Don't worry about being romantic. Just be yourself. A guy in one of my classes heard me talking to a classmate about a movie she saw. I'd mentioned I wanted to see it. Two days later he said he wanted to go see it, but didn't have anyone to go with, so I said I'd love to.

Tell her something that you like to do and mention you'd like some company. Ask if she'd be interested in joining you.

I've only ever been asked out that one time and been turned down every single time I've asked someone out, so that's the only advice I can give you. I never spoke to anyone, but one nice guy had the courage to ask me to see a movie with him and it worked. Good luck.

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Originally posted by spungo:
I had my eyes on a girl once... she didn't appreciate it very much... sure did hurt putting them back in.

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Actually, taking them out is the painful part-putting them back in's nothin.

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bringing her out of her shell...

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Originally posted by GameMaster:

1.) What is a romantic, but not intimidating way of asking someone out?

2.) How do I draw a shy geekette out of her shell?

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1) Don't do romantic just yet. That might be a little too much for this state of the game. Just ask her out, to a movie. "Hey, would you be interested in seeing Powerpuff Girls next Thursday?" (Always ask four or five days ahead of time).

2) Try flirting. It's really hard to do at first, but it does a wonderful job of bringing someone out of their shell. Again, a lighter touch at first is better.

3) You mentioned that she's "Serian," and I'm assuming you mean "Syrian." Middle-Eastern-American families (and other Immigrant families), at least for the first couple of generations, tend to be REALLY conservative. This applies to adults as well as to children. If my estimate is correct (and I admit I'm making a lot of guesses here), you're going to have to take a VERY delicate approach. Flashy romantic overtures will probably backfire badly, unless you're first or second generation Middle-Eastern-American yourself.

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Originally posted by GameMaster:
No , sorry, my b sticks.. she's serbian. Sorry, I didn't catch that one... I have to pound that keyboard to get a "b" or "B".

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Oh. Serbian chicks tend to be cooler about things like dating. But I still wouldn't recommend any dramatic romantic moves, at least at first. Save those for a month into things when you're a little more sure she'll respond well to them.

Again, hope this helps.

She waved me over, I was working on another program for the class we are in, she had one little prolm with her program, that I am sure she could have fixed without calling me over. She then started to add comments (a bad the CS majors at UWM have is to comment AFTER writting the code... ecause they don't want to lose points (not because they think the comments are needed). I started working beside her. My friend was helping another girl who I think likes him, but he keeps telling me differently... Any way, when he was done helping her, he stopped y to see if I wanted to catch the buss with him, like we always used to do... I said, I have a few more lines to write first (I didn't plan on finnishing it tonight, and a good thing too, as I didn't write a line after that)... Well, we talked untill we both had to leave. Then on the way out, she asked if I wanted a ride again, and I accepted (not because I particularly need a ride, but because I wanted to talk to her). Well, for several hours we sat and talked in her car (I would have invited her in, but the place is a mess.... Thinking about it, I should have told her that). Well, I am saddened to her what has happened to her in her short life, but I am happy that she feels comfortable enough with me to talk to me about it.

I am thinking I will ask her if I can thank her for the rides by taking her to lunch some time. What dose the Geek Consortium think?

Btw, if you are still looking for something romantic to do when you do ask her out, then I recommend using some information that she's given you (e.g. telling you that she likes a certain band, or artist or something) and buying her a small gift; nothing intimidating, but just something to show that you listen and care. Then attach a little note to it with, maybe, that quote from R&J written on it... not too subtle and not too blatant.

Hope that helps some

sky

I cought her looking at me, with her head resting on her hands (on her cheeks) and her elbows together on the table with a silly half-smile.... I just had to smile, and blush. I would have been sitting next to her in class, but everyone always sits in the same place each time and my friend and I sit a the closest to the Lecturer... And I thought it might e to forward if I changed where me and my friend sit (besides then she'd see the exchanges between me and Ayo and realize what geeks we are... and those exchanges could no longer contain anything about my crush on her). I digress from this silly auysis to return to the notes....

Oki, heehee, you're allowed - aside from Scotters, you're practically my favorite here ! YAY!!

Just take it a step at a time. Keep talking. Keep flirting, just a little bit.

But I definitely think you should ask her out to see powerpuff girls.

I'm glad she's opening up to you. Are you opening up to her?

Just take it a step at a time. Keep talking. Keep flirting, just a little bit.
I plan to keep talking and flirting... I haven't been doing much flirting, because I don't want to come on too strong... But I am positive she knows.

But I definitely think you should ask her out to see powerpuff girls.
I don't like the powerpuff girls, and I don't think she would either. I am looking for something with a bit more finess than a cartoon... If I go with a movie it has to be something that doesn't portay any war, or extream violence, is more mature than a cartoon and would be romantic on some level... In other words... a chick flick

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Originally posted by GameMaster:
Dude, you're doing fine!
Thans for the support. I think I am doing really well, but I don't know what is too forward, and what she is expecting. I guess I'll just keep playing it by ear.

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That's the only way you can do it. Just don't lay it on thick and you should be ok. If she knows you're interested, and gets occasional, very light-handed reminders, that should be enough.

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But I definitely think you should ask her out to see powerpuff girls.
I don't like the powerpuff girls, and I don't think she would either. I am looking for something with a bit more finess than a cartoon... If I go with a movie it has to be something that doesn't portay any war, or extream violence, is more mature than a cartoon and would be romantic on some level... In other words... a chick flick[b]

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Ah. This is obviously where we disagree. I hate chick flicks. I [b]despise chick flicks. They're just as ugly a Hollywood formula as the ultra-violent war flicks of the 1980s. Just like all those godawful films trying to reproduce "First Blood" or "Apocalypse Now," there are all these horrible movies trying to reproduce "Pretty Woman" or "Fried Green Tomatoes."

Anyway, if you think this will work, go for it, although a comedy without the heavy-handed romance would probably work a little better. Just a thought.

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I'm glad she's opening up to you. Are you opening up to her?
With everything that she told me, I felt obligated to tell her things about my self that related to what she was saying. But when I was talking about myself I felt like I was monopolizing the conversation, in anycase... I just learned she's in the lab, and have trouble with her program, I'm going to see if I can help .... ...My friends isn't compiling yet either.[/B]

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I also personally think that chick flicks are crappy and for girls who are childish and [somewhat] obsessed with men.

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I love you, Bees... and you know it!

PUGs. Where the boy who is [sports star/class president] is [bet/paid] to [take out/make popular] the [odd girl/nerd girl/girl with family problems] he starts to fall for her, then the girl finds out about the [bet/pay], ends with them making up [just before/at/just after] [school dance/important party/graduation] where the bad guy is [knock down by the hero/humiliated by the girl] and of course she learns to always wear her hair down and take off her glasses. DAMN IT... Leave their hair and glasses alone!

Anonymous love. The girl hates the guy [who hates her back/doesn't want her to he likes her/originally wants her best friend] through a series of [letters/e-mails/whatever] she starts to like the [wrong person/the person at the otehr computer/her ex] and [almost marries/sleeps with/almost sleeps with] the wrong person, then the acts are put with the person responsible and she is over joyed to learn that she loves the hero, and the story is brought to a great finally with a [kissing scene/walk in the park/marriage]. roll the credits.

Granted they are not ad plot ideas, but how many times can you see the same plot unfold. I personally would love to se a really romantic movie that isn't some formulaic recreation where the bad guy isn't insainly ovious, the girl doesn't have to change to meet anyones needs, the girl is the hero and/or the problems are more realistic.

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Back to the topic at hand... Is the letter in the notes a good idea? How about putting the notes on CD (not a big deal) with an auto-run that displays the letter? Well, we sorta have plans (nothing definite or finite or even more than a [her]"you'll be in here [lab] monday, right?" [me]"yeah, I will. ")...
<edit> (I stopped writting my post when I got e-mail TT had posted... So I submitted to see what she wrote, not I am picking up where I left off...)

Perhaps I can invite her in this time.... Felt like an idot that I didn't the last two times, but the house was a mess... I have a weekend to get it a bit cleaner (I hope we get here early enough for me to invite her in)... Two white cats, brown carpet, a stack of dishes that REALLY need to be done, and a stack of mail that is overflowwing the mail table, hmmm.. least the upstairs is well, upstairs...

Any other ideas for creative romantic (geeky) dates? Is fragging (Quake, you people with sick minds) a good dating activity? Perhaps I can reinstate my bridge and serenade her if it isn't too late... hmmmm... Perhaps I should suggest the other way home, along the lake... *sigh*
Thoughts?

I reccomend you slap yourself silly to get into a more coherent state of mind. Otherwise you may end up attacking the mailman or something.

The fact of the matter is that I have several ideas, but I don't have a clue at the same time... I am waiting for the perfect moment, but I don't want to lose her while I look for the right oppertunity. I didn't put the letter in notes, but I did burn a copy of all the notes for the class (as well as DJGPP, Metapad, GIMP and a few other GPLed toys).

If anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them.
<edit type="add">

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Give another try to the very project that once failed -- you have luck with second tries. You'll easily win over the new love of your choice. An Aquarius will appreciate your sense of humor. Your dreams are especially intuitive.

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Originally posted by GameMaster:

The fact of the matter is that I have several ideas, but I don't have a clue at the same time... I am waiting for the perfect moment, but I don't want to lose her while I look for the right oppertunity. I didn't put the letter in notes, but I did burn a copy of all the notes for the class (as well as DJGPP, Metapad, GIMP and a few other GPLed toys).

If anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

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Here's an idea.

Ask her out to a movie, something you think she'll like, for next Wednesday or Thursday. Ask her via email if you can't get a better way to do it. And (this is important) ask her today.

Let's look at the elements here. You're obviously attracted to this girl. She's also interested in another person, but that's not necessarily an insurmountable barrier. You were really pissed at this other guy, because he stood between you and the woman that you crave. (Not love, certainly not yet. Not simply lust after, although that's an obvious factor. Crave. Like you're starving and she's a turkey dinner. I dare you to tell me that I'm wrong on this point.) You want affection and you don't know how to get it. You want to make the move but you're afraid that she'll figure out what a thug you really are deep down inside.

The above solution fits all these elements. You make the move. You get the affection you want, although in very small doses. Because of the nature of the date (movie -- comedy -- during a weeknight -- asked her out via email), there's no "romantic" pressure on either of you. There is a high probability of a successful evening, and that opens the doors to other things.

I'm not gonna lie to you man, I think there's a good chance you're going to get LJBF'd on this. Take it in stride. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy her company. And, assuming this doesn't work out, build your confidence for the next gal to come along, who will, no doubt, also knock your socks off.

Trust me on this one.

i am so unbearably attracted to quiet, shy women who dont blabble constantly...

i am so unbearably attracted to quiet, shy women who dont blabble constantly...

1.) She has no idea that I like her, and wants to know my opinin
2.) She knows that I like her and wants me to tell her, with out getting smashed or being shy about it.
3.) She knows that I like her, and doesn't want me to ruin our budding frinedship with all that "relationship stuff".

You're obviously attracted to this girl. She's also interested in another person,
No, I didn't say that she was intrested in him... I was worried because I though he might be intrested in her. But as it turns out, neither of them have romantic feelings for eachother.

You were really pissed at this other guy, because he stood between you and the woman that you crave. (Not love, certainly not yet. Not simply lust after, although that's an obvious factor. Crave. Like you're starving and she's a turkey dinner. I dare you to tell me that I'm wrong on this point.)
Not pissed... Just frustrated and envious, because I felt like I should be there for her but she was with this other friend of hers. I like this girl, but it isn't a lusting (at least not physical) and it isn't love (yet)... Perhaps crave isn't the right word, either. The fact of the matter is that I am intested in knowing her (who she really is, not what she wants to show the world), it's not like that physical rush that you feel around someone who find really attractive (although quite a while ago I used find her that attractive, but I was vary much in love with someone else at the time). Now it is a want to understand and be with her and talk to her.

You want affection and you don't know how to get it.
Spesifically her affection... There is another girl that I was, and sorta still am, intrested in who does obviously like me. I questioned if I was only intrested in this girl because she was not an easy read, but it isn't that either. It bugs me that I can't say I like her because (blank)... Even thought I can list a long list of things that I like about her.

You want to make the move but you're afraid that she'll figure out what a thug you really are deep down inside.
I am not a thug anywhere inside. I cannot with intention, harm anyone. I am bound to a vary strict set of rules that forbid me to willingly do harm. I would rather hurt myself than to see the worst man alive suffer...

I'm not gonna lie to you man,
Good, cause I like to hear it straight.
I think there's a good chance you're going to get LJBF'd on this.[\b]
I know.... I think I am in the friend zone, and I don't think she is intrested in seeing anyone at the moment.

[b]Take it in stride.
I always do... well the few times I've been hurt... :P

Enjoy the moment. Enjoy her company.
I enjoy every moment I spend with her.... I hope she can say the same.

And, assuming this doesn't work out,
build your confidence for the next gal to come along,
Ummm... The next girl is already here, which is what is starting to nag at me... It feels like I am keeping one in the wings, but that isn't how or what happened. I do like both, and I made a decission to persue one, it just happens that the other is now REALLY flirting with me, and I am acting like I don't see it. I feel like I am doing something wrong but I know people would see differnt sides to this... That is one reason that I am posting this now...

who will, no doubt, also knock your socks off.
Ah. Yes, but who will knock my socks off?

Vijay is brainy as all heck, but I know absolutly nothing about her. She is cute, she's here on a student visa and she aced the class they use to weed people out of the pepartment.

Sanja is very good at writting advanced code in C++, but she is absolutly bueatiful, I've known her for a long time (although only in passing until all this started), sweet and kind. She was doing some things that I intreprted as flirting, and after staying late to help her she offered me a ride home. Well, through talking to her, everything seemed to be fairly good until she told me about her friend's failed attempt at picking her up.

In my persuite of Sanja, I had forgotten about Vijay, dispite the fact that there is chemistry there. The day before Sanja told me about her friend's attept at a pick up (a year earlier), I was standing outside of class (after the midterm) talking with a group of geeks and Vijay came out and began asking ME about hte test (dispite the fact that we all had just taken it, she looked at me instead into the entire group). The problem is that I like both, and have really strong feeling for Sanja, because of the time and talks that I have shared with her.