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 Should I continue or stop ?
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paranoid Single Celled Newbie 
Posts: 1 |
posted March 13, 2002 08:39
  
I have known this geek guy for a year and I happened to know that I was the only woman he's met over the past 5 years. We have hung out for quite a long time and I'm pretty sure we both enjoy spending time together. It seems to me that we'll eventually become a good couple, but I am wrong. He freaked out when I told him my feelings for him two weeks ago. Ever since then, he distanced me. The reason he gave to me is that we have some personality conflicts. I think it's just an excuse though. I have never dated any geeks until I met him and I know I really fall into him this time. What should I do? I know he also has some feelings for me, but I don't know why he rejected me. I want to be around him to wait for another chance. Is he going to be sick or tired of me if I do so? I know I might just move on, but you know, it's hard to find someone you really want to be with....at least to me, it's the case. I'm the kind who needs a lot of attention and the people I used to date were the ones who could give me that. As a typical geek, he could only spend a limit amount of time with me and focus on his job for the rest. I guess I really love him because I can tolerate everything that might make no sense to others. IP: Logged |
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spungo Super Geek  
Posts: 212 |
posted March 13, 2002 09:05
quote: Sounds a bit rough. Without knowing too much about it, it's a bit tricky to comment - but I'd say it was sort of situation where what you really need is some clarity. It's a question of being a bit frank with yourself - we all have the ability to string ourselves along with ifs and buts - but it helps in the long run (I find) to decide one way or the other - sooner, better than later. It's the hardest thing in the world, being objective about yourself. I doubt I've ever managed it. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Janeway Super Geek
Posts: 234 |
posted March 13, 2002 10:41
It sounds to me like he's scared. I wouldn't push things too much right now, give him a week or two or three. Why do I say this? I was once in a similar position, I found out this geek liked me and I had never had a serious relationship before and it totally freaked me out. I avoided him, couldn't even talk to him anymore, and of course it ended up creating distance. He ended up getting mad and that was the end of our friendship. I regret it, but at the time, I didn't know what else to do. So just try to be understanding, give him some space, it may take him some time to come around. He may not be ready for anything serious. But if after two or three months (or more, however long you want to wait) he still doesn't come around, it might be time to just be friends. Hope things work out for you. IP: Logged |
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GameMaster Geek
Posts: 68 |
posted March 13, 2002 16:43
I've actually been on both sides of this situation, and both ended upworking out... I think the one that will be most helpful to you is one that I sorta make refrence to in question about how to ask this girl Ilike out... ANYWAY, We were at a chruch festivial (me, the girl who liked me and another friend), and they got into a fight... I was fed up with them always disagreeing about the little stuff, and I was there to have fun; so, I decided to leave. I was walking away, when she came up behind me, and said what let's talk a minute. She pulled me aside and began yelling at me about what a bad day she was having, about a fight she had with her mother and edded with "GODDAMIT, WHY HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED I'VE BEEN FLIRTING WITH YOU ALL NIGHT!" I was so shocked, that I had no idea what to reply with, I stood there for what seemed like an eternity. After a little while of no reply, she said "Oh, great, you must think I'm hidous" and walked back to our other friend... Well, after a few more minutes of standing there prossessing, I went back. It ook me about two weeks to finnally call her after that and tell her that she just really caught me off gaurd. The relationship lasted a wonderful 3 years. Long story short, the ball is in court. Stay a friend, let him have a little space, and if he doesn't mention it in a few weeks, ask him to come over to talk about something that has been bothering you (i.e. your feelings for him). IP: Logged |
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plastic Super Geek
Posts: 158 |
posted March 14, 2002 22:20
I would be willing to bet a lot of money on the fact that he is scared of something be it commitment or intimacy, you said yourself your the first girl hes really met in 5 years. Five years is a long time not to have even MET another girl so my guess is that hes very withdrawn and shy and possibly timid. Just take it nice and slow let him know that your feelings won't infringe on the relationship that the two of you already have. (unless of course he wants it to  )Just continue to be supportive and friendly and he'll warm up in no time. ------------------ quote: IP: Logged |
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