I want to sak her out, but I want to be able for her to LJBF me w/o losing the posiblity of being close friends, at the same time I want to tell her so that I can stop obsessing over this. I was thinking of going with a no-holds-bar romantic jesture, but that would put her on the spot, scare her off, and posibly destroy the friends posibility. Likewise, she is a geek, and from my personal expreince (Where some one had to tell me "Goddamit, haven't realized I've been flirting with you all night.") we geeks sometimes need to be hit over the head to realize what's going on.

1) Do you actually know her, or is she just a vague acquaintance?
2) What the heck is LJBF?
3) Should I interpret "jesture" as 'gesture' or 'jester'?

Ideas:

1) Invite her to some sort of fun nerd place (e.g. local comic shops, wargaming tournaments, Linux Users' Group meetings, nuclear missile silos, etc).
2) Suggest that she come play multiplayer videogame x at your humble abode (e.g. Quake III, UT, Super Smash Bros Melee, etc).
3) Write some obfuscated source code and make a wager with her that she can't decode it. If you win, she accompanies you on a date of some sort. If you lose, something bad would happen to you.
4) Brainwash her.
5) Give her a token ring.
6) Don't listen to me.
7) If you don't know her very well, GET TO KNOW HER. You may get some sudden inspiration, or find out that you don't really like her anyway.

If all else fails, hit her in the head with your club and drag her back to your cave.

2)The infamous �Let�s Just Be Friends� talk, which was discussed in detail on an earlier thread. Sorry for my ambiguity.

Anyway, best of luck. Remember she's just as nervous as you are, if not more. So just remember to chill and don't freak out if she says no. K?

p.s. if you do take her out with a group of friends it's always a good idea to let them know that you are interested in her first as to avoid someone else honing in on her.

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Originally posted by GameMaster:
How do ask the geekette of your dreams out?

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the trouble with that is that you can't doubt yourself. timing doesn't matter, just spit it out when there's a pause in speech. she'll give you an honest answer, and you won't have to wonder whether or not it's a "date" or not, since that's already been established.

Next week is spring break (would be yay, but I got nothing planed (hmmmmm.... (Shoot nesting again!))), so I won't get to see her... Unless I get together with her outside the lab, in that thing I keep hearing about called the "RL"(I hear they have this new thing out there that orbits the earth and is very bright, been meaning to see what it is). I was actually considering doing the whole secret admirer thing, but I know that some people think that it is creepy.

quote:

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Originally posted by GameMaster:
I know that the best thing is just to keep little hints coming, and do things that could be interpreted as friendly or romantic (so that there is a friendship). The problem with sitting and thinking all day, as we geeks are apt to do, is that I spend too much time over analyzing. I guess it is just driving me crazy that I am spending all this time thinking, without acting and her not having a clue. How have you other geeks gotten past this intimidation. It seems so odd that such a sweet, small, wonderful girl could cause me such fear, and not even know it. Alright, I think I have vented, any new thoughts?

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Ok. One thing about intimidation. Its all in your head. No one can do anything for you as far as the whole intimidation thing goes.
My advice on that is:
1. stop thinking about your fears, shortcomings, etc. focus on the positives.
2. be yourself, be natural. don't try to be suave if your not or funny or outgoing. cause if you try to pretend, you will stumble and then fall, this will leave a horrible impression.
3. if and when you start worrying, focus on your breathing and start concentrating on regulating it. see when you focus on something like this, you will realise that you won't worry as much. Worked for me.

stop hinting, come out and say it. I know this is easy for me to say and hard for you to follow but then I speak from experience when I say that if you shut your mouth, wait and keep dropping "hints", you will wait too long and loose the girl to one who is more willing to ask her. Why do you think jerks get the girl and not the geeks, its because geeks lack the confidence. Make sure you have your confidence. March up to her and tell her that you are quite intrigued and charmed by her intelligence and her personality. Ask her whether she would go with you for a short lunch date and a movie after. You have to take initiative. if you can't flow with the moment, try to do this : rehearse, rehearse,rehearse what you're going to say. but my advice is stop thinking about it, stop overanalysing this. And keep in mind that if she shoots you down, this will not be the end of the world. Before I met my wife, I used to ask girls out and get shot down all the time. It happens, live with it. One cannot go from socially inept geek to casanova in one day. Like Nietzsche said: "He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance. One cannot fly into flying." Baby steps, my friend, baby steps. One at a time. First you must focus on one date. get the first date, make it a success, then go to the second date. Work through one day at a time, soon you will find a beautiful relationship you've built. But don't go in with any expectations, don't get too emotional too soon, keep some abstraction between your feelings and yourself at all times so if there is somethign that goes wrong, you won't end up in the dumps.

Maybe find a minute when you are alone together and ask her out. Be forward about it. She'll admire how forware you are. Besides, she's a geek. She may not even notice that you're flirting with her or if she does she's probably trying to convince herself that it's all in her head. Trust me, girls are like that. She sees the signs but she's can't believe its true.

So find a time when you're alone and ask her out. Good luck!!

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~trinity~

Maybe find a minute when you are alone together and ask her out. Be forward about it. She'll admire how forware you are. Besides, she's a geek. She may not even notice that you're flirting with her or if she does she's probably trying to convince herself that it's all in her head. Trust me, girls are like that. She sees the signs but she's can't believe its true.

So find a time when you're alone and ask her out. Good luck!!

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~trinity~

1) Do not wear a dark robe and speak entirely in Latin.
2) Do not whine about your problems.
3) Do not whine about other people's problems.
4) Do not avoid eye contact.
5) Do not threaten her.
6) Do not speak in code.
7) Do NOT attempt to have someone feed you lines.
8) Do not invite her to a restaurant whose main ingredients are not discussed in polite conversation.
9) Do not think about it.
10) Again, do not listen to me.

1) Confidence is attractive ... just as long as you're not a snob.

2) If you manage to get her to agree to that first date, and she has a really good time, she might just find she's hooked. It worked on me.

Nope. I know Latin. (This does not necessarily mean I actually tried #1...)

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Originally posted by The Pope of Perl:
Ideas:
3) Write some obfuscated source code and make a wager with her that she can't decode it. If you win, she accompanies you on a date of some sort. If you lose, something bad would happen to you.

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Or, better, if you win, she accompanies you. If she wins, you accompany her. (it works! not to deceive, but as a fun way to get around saying "let's do something" and still invite her to do something

PoP- Cool, can you teach me latin and lend me your robes? j/k

<EDIT!>
I asked her to lunch twice, but my timing was bad on both occasions... It's now spreing break, but I know that the Tuesday after break is over, I'm going to ask her out, for the weekend. You have all givien me some really good ideas about where to ask her to, and how to do it. I have a few details to work out, but all should go well.
</EDIT!>

quote:

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Originally posted by The Pope of Perl:

3) Write some obfuscated source code and make a wager with her that she can't decode it. If you win, she accompanies you on a date of some sort. If you lose, something bad would happen to you.

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quote:

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Originally posted by neotatsu:
I think ironmonk should register and post on a regular basis if all his info is so usefull

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