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Author Topic:   I, flirt.
mephisto
Highlie

Posts: 628
From:
Registered: Feb 2001

posted May 16, 2002 04:46     Click Here to See the Profile for mephisto   Click Here to Email mephisto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I flirt therefore I am. And the worst part is I do it unconsciously. Why, I don't know! and the worst part is women respond. but i don't want you.....is my only answer......I don't like messing with people's emotions, most times, I'm even oblivious to most people while i go about my life.
so any penance, any suggestion, cure....HELPPPP!!!!!!!!!!

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macadddikt18
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.

Posts: 1744
From: In a world beyond your understanding
Registered: Jan 2002

posted May 16, 2002 05:56     Click Here to See the Profile for macadddikt18   Click Here to Email macadddikt18     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
well, i am not sure i can be much help here. I don't flirt. I taught myself years ago to not do it, and i never have. I think you are right to not want to mess with peoples emotions and minds. You will just have to train yourself to not flrit with girls. It is hard, but it can be done.
Nayt

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Art: making weird people seem interesting since 1503

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quantumfluff
Uber Geek

Posts: 889
From: under the mouse pad
Registered: Jun 2000

posted May 16, 2002 06:27     Click Here to See the Profile for quantumfluff   Click Here to Email quantumfluff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You must continue to flirt. It's part of the drive that keeps the species going. When you lose your drive to impress potential mates you might as well be dead. Of course, if you are pair-bonded to start, and your SO catches you doing it, you might well end up dead. Each of us must resolve this dilema in their own way.

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dragonman97
Alpha Geek

Posts: 333
From: Westchester County, New York
Registered: May 2001

posted May 16, 2002 09:44     Click Here to See the Profile for dragonman97   Click Here to Email dragonman97     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
When I do my IT work, I routinely encounter some very nice student workers, and I most definitely have a mild flirting thing going on. Or when I'm tutoring programming students, or just in general around any mildly attractive female who would be desireable . I don't know why fully, I just do, and I think I've received some reciprocation - the problem is, I don't necessarily want to pursue it with some people, like some of the office workers, who I seem to have a real knack for attracting - but not the classmates of mine who I'd really want. I've been in a store or two populated by college student workers, where it feels like I have them in the palm of my hand, and I'm too meek/shy to pursue something with someone I don't know at all, or something like that.

Nayt, you should destroy your training.
But mephisto should be exceptionally careful not to flirt with the intention of pursuit, considering his wife also frequents this site .

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mephisto
Highlie

Posts: 628
From:
Registered: Feb 2001

posted May 16, 2002 14:38     Click Here to See the Profile for mephisto   Click Here to Email mephisto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
But mephisto should be exceptionally careful not to flirt with the intention of pursuit, considering his wife also frequents this site .

Flirt with intention of pursuit.......lol.....roflmao....
My wife has more class, intelligence, beauty and downright sexual energy(red skirt) leaking from a pinkie than most girls that i ever meet have in their entire bodies. even the ones i dated.......why would i even care about other women......plus wife means something......to me there is nothing more sacred than what we have......*shrug.....
she knows that....and she knows about the flirting...she sees me do it and yet she doesn't mind......
she trusts me....though there are times when she becomes possesive....... (if you're reading this babyducky, you're allowed to be possesive anytime......) i don't mind it....she's cute when she gets like that......

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Xanthine
Highlie

Posts: 730
From: the lab
Registered: Mar 2001

posted May 16, 2002 20:18     Click Here to See the Profile for Xanthine     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, speaking from the female's perspective, responses to flirtation aren't necessarily any more serious than the original flirting.

The rest, well, if Annie trusts you completely you don't have much to worry about. Unless you break that trust. But that's between you and her.

------------------
Take by surprise and the world gives up resistance.
- Tennesee Williams

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Erbo
Super Geek

Posts: 171
From: Denver, CO, US
Registered: Jan 2000

posted May 16, 2002 23:23     Click Here to See the Profile for Erbo   Click Here to Email Erbo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am totally incapable of flirting. I am also totally incapable of recognizing when someone is trying to flirt with me. When this one woman was flirting with me at a big dinner once, I did not recognize it and had to be told, about a month later, by another friend of mine who was present, "She was flirting with you!"

What happened with the woman that was flirting with me? I wound up marrying her .

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mephisto
Highlie

Posts: 628
From:
Registered: Feb 2001

posted May 17, 2002 04:25     Click Here to See the Profile for mephisto   Click Here to Email mephisto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Erbo:

What happened with the woman that was flirting with me? I wound up marrying her .

In my case, that ship has already sailed. so I'm not in any danger from something like that.

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mephisto
Highlie

Posts: 628
From:
Registered: Feb 2001

posted May 17, 2002 04:31     Click Here to See the Profile for mephisto   Click Here to Email mephisto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Well, speaking from the female's perspective, responses to flirtation aren't necessarily any more serious than the original flirting.

The rest, well, if Annie trusts you completely you don't have much to worry about. Unless you break that trust. But that's between you and her.


I wish some of the women i flirted with didn't get so damn serious, it would make my life less uncomfortable. trust me, some women are quite serious about the flirting thing. I should *sigh know.

as for breaking the trust, we had problems, completely unrelated to that before and that almost killed our relationship. Having the reached this stage of maturity and calmness in our relationship, I would do nothing to jeopardise this. Nothing. I've cut people(read women - exs, overly friendly girls, etc) out of my life for even suggesting anything that would jeopardise my relationship with my wife. a long time ago and a long long time ago maybe i was capable of stupid things(not cheating but just thinking of things) but now......no....i could never even imagine anything, let alone go through it. i can see a perfect family that i want and i can't have it without my babyducky.

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annie
Alpha Geek

Posts: 308
From: somewhere in Canada
Registered: Sep 2001

posted May 17, 2002 09:58     Click Here to See the Profile for annie   Click Here to Email annie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mephisto:
Flirt with intention of pursuit.......lol.....roflmao....
My wife has more class, intelligence, beauty and downright sexual energy(red skirt) leaking from a pinkie than most girls that i ever meet have in their entire bodies. even the ones i dated.......why would i even care about other women......plus wife means something......to me there is nothing more sacred than what we have......*shrug.....
she knows that....and she knows about the flirting...she sees me do it and yet she doesn't mind......
she trusts me....though there are times when she becomes possesive....... (if you're reading this babyducky, you're allowed to be possesive anytime......) i don't mind it....she's cute when she gets like that......

It's not so much that I "don't mind" as it is that I know you mostly do it unintentionally and I've resigned myself to the fact that it's going to happen. Not to mention that there can be a fine line between "flirting" and just being friendly and nice. Sometimes when a good looking guy smiles at a girl she assumes he's flirting, and that isn't necessarily true. That and I figure that someone would have to be really dumb to flirt intentionally in front of their wife, and I give you more credit than that.
Btw, thanks for the compliments.

Boy it's been a long time since I've posted anything around here.

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Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

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Colonel Panic
Mini-Geek

Posts: 57
From: Des Moines, Iowa
Registered: Mar 2002

posted May 17, 2002 13:26     Click Here to See the Profile for Colonel Panic   Click Here to Email Colonel Panic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sometimes, when I'm in a particularly flirtatious mood, I'll flirt with danger. Which can be a good time, until danger slaps you in the face.

Col. Panic

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Xanthine
Highlie

Posts: 730
From: the lab
Registered: Mar 2001

posted May 17, 2002 17:16     Click Here to See the Profile for Xanthine     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Colonel Panic:
Sometimes, when I'm in a particularly flirtatious mood, I'll flirt with danger. Which can be a good time, until danger slaps you in the face.

Col. Panic


Tell me about it. In fact I made a new year's resolution to not take any more stupid risks. But I broke it.
*Sigh*. One of these days I'm gonna get slapped so hard I won't be able to stand up and walk away.

------------------
Take by surprise and the world gives up resistance.
- Tennesee Williams

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TheAnnoyedCockroach
Highlie

Posts: 577
From: Denial
Registered: Feb 2002

posted May 17, 2002 21:24     Click Here to See the Profile for TheAnnoyedCockroach   Click Here to Email TheAnnoyedCockroach     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Really? I spend most of my time flirting with disaster...

We have a rough relationship, to be sure.

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Need a shite!

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SupportGoddess
Highlie

Posts: 599
From: The Digital Temple
Registered: Jul 2001

posted May 18, 2002 01:36     Click Here to See the Profile for SupportGoddess   Click Here to Email SupportGoddess     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mephisto, Annie....

I think you guys are a great couple. From some of your posts I gather you have been through some rough times, but you still managed to work it out. You have my utmost respect. Annie, I do miss your posts a great deal too, you both bring fantastic perspective to things.

On the topic:
Flirting is tough. If you are with someone and it bothers them it should probably be a no go. If it's unconcious, well, sometimes trying really hard not to flirt can be more attractive than doing it. I try to always make a point of smiling at peole that look like they need it, maybe bat my eyelids at guys that don't look like they get much of it. Not because I'm serious, but because I know that overweight middle aged miserable looking guy that was in line with me at the gas station behind the chick buying 4 million lottery tickets will have a better day because of it. At least for a few minutes.

Mephisto, it sounds like you really are a natural flirt, but it also sounds like you truly value your relationship and that you would never do anything to jeopardize it. Keep in mind that some people may not view flirting as just a nice "make your day a bit better" kind of thing and you may have some uncomfortable moments because of it


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"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."
-Michael Sinz

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Erbo
Super Geek

Posts: 171
From: Denver, CO, US
Registered: Jan 2000

posted May 18, 2002 13:43     Click Here to See the Profile for Erbo   Click Here to Email Erbo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by SupportGoddess:
I try to always make a point of smiling at peole that look like they need it, maybe bat my eyelids at guys that don't look like they get much of it. Not because I'm serious, but because I know that overweight middle aged miserable looking guy that was in line with me at the gas station behind the chick buying 4 million lottery tickets will have a better day because of it. At least for a few minutes.

See, if you did that to me, I'd never notice. I sincerely hope that it wouldn't offend you if you didn't get a reaction. (And, if it would, remind me to stay out of your neck of the woods. )

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mephisto
Highlie

Posts: 628
From:
Registered: Feb 2001

posted May 21, 2002 16:29     Click Here to See the Profile for mephisto   Click Here to Email mephisto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by SupportGoddess:
Mephisto, Annie....

I think you guys are a great couple. From some of your posts I gather you have been through some rough times, but you still managed to work it out. You have my utmost respect. Annie, I do miss your posts a great deal too, you both bring fantastic perspective to things.

Mephisto, it sounds like you really are a natural flirt, but it also sounds like you truly value your relationship and that you would never do anything to jeopardize it. Keep in mind that some people may not view flirting as just a nice "make your day a bit better" kind of thing and you may have some uncomfortable moments because of it



Hey supportgoddess,
you're right about us as a couple. We went through a lot of tough times and our relationship is 100x times stronger for it. Thank you for your compliments.
the flirting thing is natural.....*shrug. as for the relationship, i would cut my heart out of my chest before i jeopardise what i have. I love her too much.
i have already had people get a little too comfy with me as a result of some inoccous flirting and i make it a point now to try and not flirt. but i still end up doing things that are considered flirting. oh well, i will have to live with this.

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Nitrozac
Moderator

Posts: 489
From:
Registered: Dec 1999

posted May 21, 2002 19:16     Click Here to See the Profile for Nitrozac   Click Here to Email Nitrozac     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
How does one flirt unconsciouslyare you at your porn job desk, passed out, with the pics of the porn you're working on? The women passing by see you unconscious, yet with naked ladies on your computer, and think you are flirting, so they jump you, and you wake up and say "No! No! I was unconcious!!!"

I was catching up on my forum reading and I noticed that you posted elsewhere that you got a brand new spanking job in the porn industry. heh. I guess that would lead to problems in the unaware flirting deptartment, talking about file names and such. "Hey the moaning audio isn't working!" "Start moaning now!" LOL.

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Oz, the Wizard of
Geek

Posts: 66
From: The Emerald City
Registered: Jun 2002

posted June 13, 2002 12:11     Click Here to See the Profile for Oz, the Wizard of   Click Here to Email Oz, the Wizard of     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wish I could flirt, but I try, and it just doesn't work.
Like when I pinged that programmer chick 500 times the other day in an attempt to slow down her internet so she'd LOOK AT ME!!!!
Gad, I lead a horrifying life...
-Oz

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------BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK------
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www.geekcode.com
Yes, I know it's archaic, but...

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LifetimeTrekker
Highlie

Posts: 557
From: Albuquerque, NM, UD
Registered: Sep 2001

posted June 13, 2002 14:30     Click Here to See the Profile for LifetimeTrekker   Click Here to Email LifetimeTrekker     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aversion therapy!

Keep flirting until you get sick of doing it or Annie kills you for it.

Either way will put you off of it.

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TheAnnoyedCockroach
Highlie

Posts: 577
From: Denial
Registered: Feb 2002

posted June 13, 2002 15:15     Click Here to See the Profile for TheAnnoyedCockroach   Click Here to Email TheAnnoyedCockroach     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
...a brand new spanking job in the porn industry...

Oh Nitro... I couldn't pass this one up....

A spanking job in the porn industry...

Roflmao. And I mean it.

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You can keep that silly fat wanker, the lads can't move him.

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uilleann
Assimilated

Posts: 386
From: St Albans, Herts, England
Registered: Apr 2002

posted June 13, 2002 16:56     Click Here to See the Profile for uilleann   Click Here to Email uilleann     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Quoting SupportGoddess:
...maybe bat my eyelids at guys that don't look like they get much of it.
Oh, please, do not do that... get much of? get much of what? I really don't need my mind messed with by foolish and baseless pretences.

Although I know that, online, the things I've said to certain girls whom I've spent time chatting to disturbs me, because I really feel that I'm messing with their minds (even though there are feeling there in my case). Why, oh, why can't I just stop it? Somewhere between flirting and just desperation.

And goodness knows what signals I was giving out the girl at the bus stop (for one thing, grinning almost wide enough to split my cheeks), even if I didn't ever say anything flirtish.

*sigh*

- Uilleann

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SteelWolf
Newbie Larva

Posts: 4
From: Tucson, AZ, USA
Registered: Jul 2002

posted July 05, 2002 09:56     Click Here to See the Profile for SteelWolf   Click Here to Email SteelWolf     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Flirting = GOOD! How else do ya suppose i got my gf?

------------------
"We Are Connected.
We Are Connected. We
Are Connected. Walk
with me through the
universe, and along
the way, see how all of
us are connected.
Feast the eyes of your
soul on the love that
abounds in all places
and all times,
seemingly endless, as
your own existance is."
Professor Steven
Hawking, from John
Digweed's
"Connected"

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mephisto
Highlie

Posts: 628
From:
Registered: Feb 2001

posted July 05, 2002 10:04     Click Here to See the Profile for mephisto   Click Here to Email mephisto     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LifetimeTrekker:
Aversion therapy!

Keep flirting until you get sick of doing it or Annie kills you for it.

Either way will put you off of it.


I could never get sick of anything and Annie would never kill me, she trusts me too much and she is right to do it....

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