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Author Topic:   Mathematicians and significant others
Alien Investor
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Posts: 494
From: New York City
Registered: Jan 2000

posted August 15, 2002 10:59     Click Here to See the Profile for Alien Investor   Click Here to Email Alien Investor     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Three mathematicians are at a math conference talking about their relationships.

The first mathematician says: "it's best to have a wife. You get married, you get to know each other, you settle down".

The second mathematician says: "it's best to have a girlfriend. You see her when you want to, you leave her alone when you want to, you don't have all the stress."

The third mathematician says: "it's best to have a wife *and* a girlfriend. That way, when you're not around, your wife thinks that you are with your girlfriend, your girlfriend thinks that you are with your wife, and you have time to do some good mathematics!"

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SpikeSpiegel
Highlie

Posts: 781
From: my chair
Registered: Jun 2002

posted August 15, 2002 11:56     Click Here to See the Profile for SpikeSpiegel   Click Here to Email SpikeSpiegel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
heh good one

i know a similiar version except you replace the first two doctors with an arcitecht and lawyer and the last with a computer programmer

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Erbo
Super Geek

Posts: 246
From: Denver, CO, US
Registered: Jan 2000

posted August 15, 2002 23:45     Click Here to See the Profile for Erbo   Click Here to Email Erbo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And the version I heard involved a Kennedy Space Center engineer, a Johnson Space Center engineer, and (last) a Jet Propulsion Laboratory engineer.

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Electric Minds - virtual community since 1996. http://www.electricminds.org

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spungo
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Posts: 772
From: Hell's toilet
Registered: Jan 2002

posted August 16, 2002 01:07     Click Here to See the Profile for spungo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey - what did the constipated mathematician do?... he worked it out with a pencil!

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"No longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick, that's driven into frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness), calm, fitter, healthier and more productive, a pig in a cage on antibiotics."

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ilovemydualg4
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Posts: 740
From: *GASP* THE 3RD DIMMENSION
Registered: Mar 2002

posted August 16, 2002 04:06     Click Here to See the Profile for ilovemydualg4   Click Here to Email ilovemydualg4     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hahahahahahaha

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'Excuse me, I have to go blow somethign up..... It's a military thing....'-Col. Jack. O'Neil

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EngrBohn
Uber Geek

Posts: 920
From: United States
Registered: Jul 2000

posted August 16, 2002 05:10     Click Here to See the Profile for EngrBohn   Click Here to Email EngrBohn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
- spungo -
he worked it out with a pencil!

Thanks. I pretty much gave up hope on being able to ever tell that joke, since the punchline I'd heard (in my case, for a constipated engineer) just isn't as ... um ... believable anymore:

... he worked it out with a sliderule.

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cb
Oooh! What does this button do!?

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snupy
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From: Chicago
Registered: Mar 2002

posted August 16, 2002 06:43     Click Here to See the Profile for snupy   Click Here to Email snupy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Hey - what did the constipated mathematician do?... he worked it out with a pencil!


I think the thing that makes you most endearing is your sophisticated sense of humor.

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spungo
Highlie

Posts: 772
From: Hell's toilet
Registered: Jan 2002

posted August 16, 2002 06:53     Click Here to See the Profile for spungo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by snupy:
I think the thing that makes you most endearing is your sophisticated sense of humor.

Sophistication? Don't talk to me about sophistication, lass - I've been to Yorkshire. Aye. (oooh ... it's time for me bread'n'dripping!...)

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"No longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick, that's driven into frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness), calm, fitter, healthier and more productive, a pig in a cage on antibiotics."

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snupy
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From: Chicago
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posted August 16, 2002 07:00     Click Here to See the Profile for snupy   Click Here to Email snupy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
...lass??? Oooh, are you going to speak sternly to me now?

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snupy
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From: Chicago
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posted August 16, 2002 08:14     Click Here to See the Profile for snupy   Click Here to Email snupy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, are you????

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spungo
Highlie

Posts: 772
From: Hell's toilet
Registered: Jan 2002

posted August 16, 2002 08:35     Click Here to See the Profile for spungo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes I am, little missy!!! Now, since you've been so impertinent I'm afraid it's off to bed for you - and no supper!!!

(...well, I may give you something to eat later on... )

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"No longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick, that's driven into frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness), calm, fitter, healthier and more productive, a pig in a cage on antibiotics."

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snupy
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From: Chicago
Registered: Mar 2002

posted August 16, 2002 08:46     Click Here to See the Profile for snupy   Click Here to Email snupy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Yes I am, little missy!!! Now, since you've been so impertinent I'm afraid it's off to bed for you - and no supper!!!

(...well, I may give you something to eat later on... )



would that be from the protein food group???

Now I'm going to hell for sure!

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spungo
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From: Hell's toilet
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posted August 16, 2002 08:55     Click Here to See the Profile for spungo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by snupy:
...would that be from the protein food group???

Hm. Maybe. Just as long as it doesn't count as fast food, I suppose...

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"No longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick, that's driven into frozen winter shit (the ability to laugh at weakness), calm, fitter, healthier and more productive, a pig in a cage on antibiotics."

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snupy
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posted August 16, 2002 08:58     Click Here to See the Profile for snupy   Click Here to Email snupy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yes, cause that would be premature of us.

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Alien Investor
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Posts: 494
From: New York City
Registered: Jan 2000

posted August 16, 2002 10:52     Click Here to See the Profile for Alien Investor   Click Here to Email Alien Investor     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by EngrBohn:

... he worked it out with a sliderule.


I don't wanna know where that slipstick's been slippin' !

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snupy
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Posts: 794
From: Chicago
Registered: Mar 2002

posted August 16, 2002 16:53     Click Here to See the Profile for snupy   Click Here to Email snupy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
For those of you who missed the first episode, that was "Horny people having text sex, part 2", brought to you by snupy and spungo.

Sorry.

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Steen
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.

Posts: 1472
From: Maryville, TN, USA
Registered: Jan 2000

posted August 16, 2002 17:19     Click Here to See the Profile for Steen   Click Here to Email Steen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
snupy wrote:
For those of you who missed the first episode, that was "Horny people having text sex, part 2", brought to you by snupy and spungo.

Sorry.

Just be sure to mop up anything that landed on the floor and we'll forgive you

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snupy
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From: Chicago
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posted August 16, 2002 17:42     Click Here to See the Profile for snupy   Click Here to Email snupy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LOL! Thanks, Steen. I always have a mop handy these days. I come prepared.

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snupy
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From: Chicago
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posted August 16, 2002 17:48     Click Here to See the Profile for snupy   Click Here to Email snupy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bad snupy. bad, bad snupy.**slap**


edit: Where's Zorro when you need him?

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Alien Investor
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Posts: 494
From: New York City
Registered: Jan 2000

posted August 16, 2002 23:17     Click Here to See the Profile for Alien Investor   Click Here to Email Alien Investor     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by snupy:

edit: Where's Zorro when you need him?

The bondage camp people think that Zorro is having text sex on geek culture ...

The geek culture people think that Zorro is off at bondage camp ...

He's probably off doing some math!

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ZorroTheFox
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.

Posts: 1912
From: Milton, WA, USA
Registered: Oct 2001

posted August 18, 2002 19:12     Click Here to See the Profile for ZorroTheFox   Click Here to Email ZorroTheFox     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Alien Investor:
The bondage camp people think that Zorro is having text sex on geek culture ...

The geek culture people think that Zorro is off at bondage camp ...

He's probably off doing some math!


I did a math teacher, does that count. I helped her with her curves and she made sure I knew the figure well. the best thing about a math teacher is if you do it wrong the first time, she makes you do it over and over 'till you get it right. If you are lucky she will let you get in some extra credit >;o) .............Z

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ZorroTheFox
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.

Posts: 1912
From: Milton, WA, USA
Registered: Oct 2001

posted August 18, 2002 20:08     Click Here to See the Profile for ZorroTheFox   Click Here to Email ZorroTheFox     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by snupy:
LOL! Thanks, Steen. I always have a mop handy these days. I come prepared.

do you come before you mop, that would make the most sense >;o)....Z

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cheezi git
Newbie

Posts: 7
From: the left nostril of my cat
Registered: Aug 2002

posted August 19, 2002 05:14     Click Here to See the Profile for cheezi git     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
some people prepare to come...

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