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Author Topic:   management issues
Janeway
Alpha Geek

Posts: 303
From: Cyberspace, Delta Quadrant
Registered: Sep 1999

posted June 26, 2002 20:37     Click Here to See the Profile for Janeway   Click Here to Email Janeway     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Found this in my e-mail and thought I'd pass it along.


Dear Management,
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labour

I work at great depths

I plunge head first into everything I do

I do not get weekends off or public holidays

I work in a damp environment

I don't get paid overtime

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation

I work in high temperatures

My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Love,
Penis


Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight

You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods

You do not always follow the orders of the management team

You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas

You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift

You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing

You'll retire well before reaching 65

You're unable to work double shifts

You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work

And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

IP: Logged

spungo
Assimilated

Posts: 494
From: Hell's toilet
Registered: Jan 2002

posted June 27, 2002 02:27     Click Here to See the Profile for spungo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bad Janeway! That was very lewd.

>You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas

Oh my...

------------------
"It's the largest lingerie department in Ireland, so I'm told."

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Evilbunny
Uber Geek

Posts: 801
From: A Calculus book near you...
Registered: Nov 2001

posted July 01, 2002 16:53     Click Here to See the Profile for Evilbunny   Click Here to Email Evilbunny     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags...

He, he, he!

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snupy
Highlie

Posts: 518
From: Chicago
Registered: Mar 2002

posted July 01, 2002 17:54     Click Here to See the Profile for snupy   Click Here to Email snupy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thought I'd add a couple...

You're always telling everyone how hard you work.

You think you do a better job than your co-workers just because you're bigger than them.

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"I didn't know all of them."

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Janeway
Alpha Geek

Posts: 303
From: Cyberspace, Delta Quadrant
Registered: Sep 1999

posted July 03, 2002 05:24     Click Here to See the Profile for Janeway   Click Here to Email Janeway     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Lol, good ones snupy!

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SpikeSpiegel
Super Geek

Posts: 183
From: Ossus
Registered: Jun 2002

posted July 03, 2002 08:30     Click Here to See the Profile for SpikeSpiegel   Click Here to Email SpikeSpiegel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
damn those were great...

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Amidameru! Hyoi Gattai!..

Oversoul!

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FatGnome
Alpha Geek

Posts: 251
From: Idaho
Registered: Jan 2002

posted July 03, 2002 20:59     Click Here to See the Profile for FatGnome   Click Here to Email FatGnome     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

-- Although influence is expanding we belive that youre influence will be quikly forgotten --

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