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The Joke Bank! FW: Summertime in Florida
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Author | Topic: FW: Summertime in Florida |
Snaggy Moderator Posts: 1583 |
posted June 05, 2002 09:13
Hmmm, can DigitalBill confirm these? ------------------------ You know you are in FLORIDA during the summertime when: The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. You can make sun tea instantly. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly. You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car. You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window. You actually burn your hand opening the car door. You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up You realize that asphalt has a liquid state. The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground. The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs. The cows are giving evaporated milk. The trees are whistling for the dogs. AND...you thought your house was made of stucco until the hurricane blew it down and you found out it was being held together by cockroaches! IP: Logged |
DigitalBill Alpha Geek Posts: 316 |
posted June 05, 2002 17:47
Originally posted by Snaggy: Hmmm, can DigitalBill confirm these? You know you are in FLORIDA during the summertime when: The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. You can make sun tea instantly. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly. You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car. You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window. You actually burn your hand opening the car door. You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?" You realize that asphalt has a liquid state. The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground. The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt, and pepper. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs. The cows are giving evaporated milk. The trees are whistling for the dogs. AND...you thought your house was made of stucco until the hurricane blew it down and you found out it was being held together by cockroaches! =bd And I'm serious about the cockroach... though he didn't seem... annoyed. IP: Logged |
LifetimeTrekker Highlie Posts: 506 |
posted June 05, 2002 18:44
All of the above phenomena occur in Phoenix, Arizona, between May and October, except for the hurricanes.
quote: In Phoenix, this is the time people set off 20-40 bug bombs at a time and blow up the house, only to learn that when you do this, you not only blow up the roaches, you blow up the house. IP: Logged |
uilleann Super Geek Posts: 174 |
posted June 06, 2002 02:29
Nice one :D - Uilleann IP: Logged |
Lex Super Geek Posts: 217 |
posted June 06, 2002 18:37
Pretty accurate, yes. Speaking of a moon roof, I had a leak in mine last year. Rain water would collect in the car ceiling and heat up in the sun. It would stay like that until the car for some reason moved, and then the scalding water would spill out into the driver seat. Now that was surprising. That day I had to drive around with my umbrella open inside the car. IP: Logged |
Tau Zero BlabberMouth, the Next Generation. Posts: 1712 |
posted June 14, 2002 10:51
quote:This is also the case in Texas during the summer. It is bizarre for a Yank like me to turn on the "cold" water and get something at blood temperature. My friends who've lived in the South say that everyone keeps a pitcher of water in the refrigerator. Oddly enough, some of the mainland Chinese folks I've met serve hot water to their guests. IP: Logged |
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