Click to visit our sponsors!

homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam

  The Geek Culture Forums
  The Joke Bank!
  Relationships

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq | search

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Relationships
mackevin
Geek

Posts: 63
From: Düsseldorf, Deutschland
Registered: Nov 2001

posted April 25, 2002 12:07     Click Here to See the Profile for mackevin   Click Here to Email mackevin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I just found this one and hope it´s new to you too:

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time.A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?''

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see . . ..February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.

And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it ...

''Roger,'' Elaine says aloud.

''What?'' says Roger, startled.

''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have said... Oh God, I feel so ..... . ''

(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?'' says Roger.

''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.''

''There's no horse?'' says Roger.

''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.

''No!'' says Roger. He's glad to finally know the correct answer.

''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,'' Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one
that he thinks might work.)

''Yes,'' he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) ''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says.

''What way?'' says Roger.

''That way about time,'' says Elaine.

''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.

''Thank you,'' says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every
word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing squash one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:

''Bill, did Elaine ever own a horse?''

mackevin

IP: Logged

Evilbunny
Highlie

Posts: 681
From: A Calculus book near you...
Registered: Nov 2001

posted April 25, 2002 12:30     Click Here to See the Profile for Evilbunny   Click Here to Email Evilbunny     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LOL! Thats Exactally it!

IP: Logged

snupy
Super Geek

Posts: 159
From: Chicago
Registered: Mar 2002

posted April 25, 2002 16:23     Click Here to See the Profile for snupy   Click Here to Email snupy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No truer words were ever written-hysterical!!!!!!

IP: Logged

GameMaster
Super Geek

Posts: 191
From: State of insanity
Registered: Mar 2002

posted April 25, 2002 18:10     Click Here to See the Profile for GameMaster   Click Here to Email GameMaster     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If he was a geek it'd be his computer not his car, but this gets to the very essence of what it means to be male and if I had a clue how the female mind work, I might agree the female mind also. After all, the last Rule is that if a man figgures out the rules, change the rules. Oh, shoot, I just made them all change them again, sorry guys.

IP: Logged

spungo
Alpha Geek

Posts: 336
From: Hell's toilet
Registered: Jan 2002

posted April 26, 2002 02:48     Click Here to See the Profile for spungo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh, man - that was good!

------------------
"What she asked of me at the end of the day - Caligula would have blushed."
- The Smiths

IP: Logged

donnab
Geek

Posts: 74
From: Cape Cod
Registered: Jan 2002

posted April 26, 2002 19:09     Click Here to See the Profile for donnab     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ummm, well. In my case, it would be me wondering if I should use synthetic oil on my next oil change or if it was time to apply another coat of Zaino Show Car Polish to my car yet.

Excellent joke, but it could just as easily apply to a woman as to a man...


------------------
Donna

IP: Logged

FatGnome
Super Geek

Posts: 155
From: Idaho
Registered: Jan 2002

posted April 27, 2002 17:46     Click Here to See the Profile for FatGnome   Click Here to Email FatGnome     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Heh heh ehehehehehaha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah I would have to agree. That is definatly how I think (Guy.) I like to keep things simple like doing math not complicated like having a conversation.

IP: Logged

All times are Pacific Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Geek Culture Home Page

© 2002 Geek Culture® All Rights Reserved.

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.47e