Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:

"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C:\prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
. . . . . ."Yes, I think so."
"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
. . . . . ."Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
. . . . . ."Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

quote:

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Originally posted by snupy:
That's not funny.

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you're right -- it's sad, especially for the support geek

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Originally posted by platypus:
actually, that's freaking hilarious. But it's also old, and been told about every software company ever.

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that's what i was afraid of; sounded too funny and too typical to be new...

"I want my money back on this computer," she says.

"Why?" asks the salesman.

"I typed this huge long letter for the boss and Wordperfect blew up. The screen went black."

"The screen went black? What's with that? Wordperfect works well on that computer. How many pages did you type?"

"About fifty - ah, it was fifty-three on the page count."

"Did you phone the Wordperfect help desk to try to resolve the problem?"

"Do you mean try to fix it? Yes. They suggested I put it into boxes and return it to the shop I bought it from. So here I am." <giggle>

So they go through the computer and the salesman deletes the excess stuff.

"Okay, all done. Do you want a replacement?"

"No thanks." She turns and begins to walk toward the exit.

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Originally posted by BrotherPaul:
A woman carries a box into the store and says to the salesman, "I've got two more in the car." She dumps the box down and returns with two more.

"I want my money back on this computer," she says.

"Why?" asks the salesman.

"I typed this huge long letter for the boss and Wordperfect blew up. The screen went black."

"The screen went black? What's with that? Wordperfect works well on that computer. How many pages did you type?"

"About fifty - ah, it was fifty-three on the page count."

"Did you phone the Wordperfect help desk to try to resolve the problem?"

"Do you mean try to fix it? Yes. They suggested I put it into boxes and return it to the shop I bought it from. So here I am." <giggle>

So they go through the computer and the salesman deletes the excess stuff.

"Okay, all done. Do you want a replacement?"

"No thanks." She turns and begins to walk toward the exit.

"Hey lady, you wanna refund?" http://www.geekculture.com/ultimatebb/icons/icon6.gif

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What makes you think it was a woman?

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Originally posted by donnab:
What makes you think it was a woman?

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my sentiments exactly!