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Author Topic:   For all you tech support geeks...
TechnoGram
Super Geek

Posts: 246
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2002

posted March 25, 2002 13:39     Click Here to See the Profile for TechnoGram   Click Here to Email TechnoGram     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hope no one else has posted this, lots of bandwidth...


Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:

"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C:\prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
. . . . . ."Yes, I think so."
"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
. . . . . ."Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
. . . . . ."Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

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Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.

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Drazgal
Maximum Newbie

Posts: 16
From: Cleveland, United Kingdom
Registered: Nov 2001

posted March 25, 2002 13:45     Click Here to See the Profile for Drazgal   Click Here to Email Drazgal     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ha!

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snupy
Geek

Posts: 71
From: Chicago
Registered: Mar 2002

posted March 25, 2002 15:34     Click Here to See the Profile for snupy   Click Here to Email snupy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That's not funny.

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TechnoGram
Super Geek

Posts: 246
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2002

posted March 25, 2002 17:42     Click Here to See the Profile for TechnoGram   Click Here to Email TechnoGram     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by snupy:
That's not funny.

you're right -- it's sad, especially for the support geek

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Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.

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platypus
Super Geek

Posts: 202
From: Provo, UT
Registered: Nov 2001

posted March 25, 2002 19:47     Click Here to See the Profile for platypus   Click Here to Email platypus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
actually, that's freaking hilarious. But it's also old, and been told about every software company ever.

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pages:
www.thelemur.net
www.saintehlers.com
www.squishbox.org

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TechnoGram
Super Geek

Posts: 246
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2002

posted March 26, 2002 07:21     Click Here to See the Profile for TechnoGram   Click Here to Email TechnoGram     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by platypus:
actually, that's freaking hilarious. But it's also old, and been told about every software company ever.


that's what i was afraid of; sounded too funny and too typical to be new...

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Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.

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iballoondesign
Alpha Geek

Posts: 305
From: Midland, TX
Registered: Dec 2001

posted March 26, 2002 09:19     Click Here to See the Profile for iballoondesign   Click Here to Email iballoondesign     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
That's old joke, I hear that before.

By way, Roger Fox don't know about computer - LAMO!

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macadddikt18
SuperBlabberMouth!

Posts: 1217
From: In a world beyond your understanding
Registered: Jan 2002

posted March 26, 2002 13:01     Click Here to See the Profile for macadddikt18   Click Here to Email macadddikt18     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
No matter how many times i read that i still get a kick out of it. Yeah, it is sad, but it is also very funny.
nayt

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c:/dos
c:/dos/run
run/dos/run

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BrotherPaul
Single Celled Newbie

Posts: 1
From: Wanganui, New Zealand
Registered: Mar 2002

posted March 27, 2002 02:15     Click Here to See the Profile for BrotherPaul   Click Here to Email BrotherPaul     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A woman carries a box into the store and says to the salesman, "I've got two more in the car." She dumps the box down and returns with two more.

"I want my money back on this computer," she says.

"Why?" asks the salesman.

"I typed this huge long letter for the boss and Wordperfect blew up. The screen went black."

"The screen went black? What's with that? Wordperfect works well on that computer. How many pages did you type?"

"About fifty - ah, it was fifty-three on the page count."

"Did you phone the Wordperfect help desk to try to resolve the problem?"

"Do you mean try to fix it? Yes. They suggested I put it into boxes and return it to the shop I bought it from. So here I am." <giggle>

So they go through the computer and the salesman deletes the excess stuff.

"Okay, all done. Do you want a replacement?"

"No thanks." She turns and begins to walk toward the exit.

"Hey lady, you wanna refund?" http://www.geekculture.com/ultimatebb/icons/icon6.gif

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donnab
Geek

Posts: 63
From: Cape Cod
Registered: Jan 2002

posted March 28, 2002 17:03     Click Here to See the Profile for donnab     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by BrotherPaul:
A woman carries a box into the store and says to the salesman, "I've got two more in the car." She dumps the box down and returns with two more.

"I want my money back on this computer," she says.

"Why?" asks the salesman.

"I typed this huge long letter for the boss and Wordperfect blew up. The screen went black."

"The screen went black? What's with that? Wordperfect works well on that computer. How many pages did you type?"

"About fifty - ah, it was fifty-three on the page count."

"Did you phone the Wordperfect help desk to try to resolve the problem?"

"Do you mean try to fix it? Yes. They suggested I put it into boxes and return it to the shop I bought it from. So here I am." <giggle>

So they go through the computer and the salesman deletes the excess stuff.

"Okay, all done. Do you want a replacement?"

"No thanks." She turns and begins to walk toward the exit.

"Hey lady, you wanna refund?" http://www.geekculture.com/ultimatebb/icons/icon6.gif


What makes you think it was a woman?

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TechnoGram
Super Geek

Posts: 246
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2002

posted March 30, 2002 18:48     Click Here to See the Profile for TechnoGram   Click Here to Email TechnoGram     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by donnab:
What makes you think it was a woman?


my sentiments exactly!

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Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.

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macadddikt18
SuperBlabberMouth!

Posts: 1217
From: In a world beyond your understanding
Registered: Jan 2002

posted April 02, 2002 06:04     Click Here to See the Profile for macadddikt18   Click Here to Email macadddikt18     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
the origanal made it sound like it could have been a guy. I think it is funnier if it was a guy. Something about a guy makes it funny to me.
Nayt

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c:/dos
c:/dos/run
run/dos/run

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GameMaster
Geek

Posts: 89
From: State of insanity
Registered: Mar 2002

posted April 02, 2002 13:18     Click Here to See the Profile for GameMaster   Click Here to Email GameMaster     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The version I heard was a woman... But would be funnier if it were a not-so bright IT guy (I'm picturing someone I used to work with, who was only hired because they couldn't find anyone else. That is could find it in the budget to pay anyone else who knew what they were doing).

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