I have so far downloaded two files: the Java runtime environment, and the Java SDK (I've no clue what that is, but I'm running out of ideas). Both are .bin files, and neither will run on my computer.

If I try to execute them in shell, I get the following message:
"Bad Interpereter, Permission Denied" or something to that effect.

I've tried doing this in root as well, but I still get the same message. My question is this: What the bloody hell am I doing wrong here?

I have seen .bin used for executables and disk images, but mostly on a mac. Sure you've got the right files?

When? When's gonna be my time, lord?

The difference between the SDK and the standard version is most likely that it has a compiler and perhaps a few other tools. Or perhaps both have the compiler and only the SDK has the extra tools. Either way, the standard version will let you run Java programs and the SDK will let you write Java programs.

Ah, well now I've the mystery of the sdk solved. I suppose I can just focus on the runtime environment now.

http://muffy.homeip.net/j2re.tar.gz

Download, extract, execute. Hopefully it should work. That file should be available unless my computer is asleep or off.

In order to run a Java program, you type in the console:
java prog
In order to compile you type:
javac prog.java
which will result in any error messages being displayed to the STDIN or the creation of several *.class files. The class containing main must be named the same as the .java file... So the above example prog.java would contain a public class prog with a static public main method.....

I've got java support... finally.