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Author Topic:   Who knows how to play football here?
Evilbunny
Highlie

Posts: 614
From: A Calculus book near you...
Registered: Nov 2001

posted February 04, 2002 16:51     Click Here to See the Profile for Evilbunny   Click Here to Email Evilbunny     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I sure don't. Can anyone help me out? I need to know *something* about it!

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Akira
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From: in transit
Registered: Oct 2001

posted February 04, 2002 17:10     Click Here to See the Profile for Akira   Click Here to Email Akira     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Here, in a nutshell, is the Geek's Guide To Football:

There's this oblong ball (referred to for some reason as the "pigskin" even though regulations stipulate that it be made from leather) that doesn't throw well unless you curve your arm just so. It starts out at one end of a 100-yard long field. Team A kicks the ball in the direction of Team B's "end zone" (ie, the end of the field that has their name painted on it). Team B (now the "offensive" team) then catches the ball and proceeds to move the ball into the end zone of Team A. This process repeats until:

- Team B fails to move the ball at least 10 yards within 4 consecutive attempts; these attempts are referred to as "downs" and will lead to such updates as "2nd and 5," which means they are on their second of four attempts and must move the ball at least 5 more yards. The count resets itself the instant the ball has moved at least 10 yards.

- Team B gets the ball across Team A's end zone. This is called a Touchdown (see below).

- Team A intercepts the ball, at which point they become the "offensive" team. (At any given moment, the other team is called the "defensive" team.)

Moving the ball across the opposing team's end zone is called a Touchdown, and is worth 6 points. After scoring a Touchdown, the offensive team can attempt a Point After Touchdown by kicking the ball between the large inverted H formed by the goal post. Thus a Touchdown is potentially worth 7 points.

When a team has finished it's Point After Touchdown attempt, the other team then becomes the offensive team and tries to rush the ball across the now-defensive team's end zone.

The offensive team also has the option to attempt a field goal any time they're within 30 yards of the defensive team's end zone. This is essentially identical to the Point After Touchdown attempt, except it's only worth 3 points and includes no Point After attempt.

The game is divided into 4 quarters of 15 minutes each, though the clock frequently stops for reasons not at all apparent to me. Each 15 minute quarter thus takes roughly 40-55 minutes. There's also usually entertainment known as a "halftime show" between the second and third quarters. This takes many forms but usually involves a marching band and bouncing coeds in tight sweaters and miniskirts. The origins of this bizarre ritual remain a mystery.

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I am Dyslexic of Borg.
Prepare to have your ass laminated.

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Evilbunny
Highlie

Posts: 614
From: A Calculus book near you...
Registered: Nov 2001

posted February 04, 2002 17:12     Click Here to See the Profile for Evilbunny   Click Here to Email Evilbunny     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
WOW! I think I will take that bit of literature and memorize it. It is imperative to my life!
Thanks!

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homesalad
Super Geek

Posts: 216
From: Port Townsend, WA, USA
Registered: Oct 2001

posted February 04, 2002 17:45     Click Here to See the Profile for homesalad   Click Here to Email homesalad     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yay Football!

Woohoo!

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ZorroTheFox
SuperBlabberMouth!

Posts: 1117
From: Milton, WA, USA
Registered: Oct 2001

posted February 04, 2002 18:24     Click Here to See the Profile for ZorroTheFox   Click Here to Email ZorroTheFox     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"Go Raiders", thats all I need to know.......Z

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Bregalad
Super Geek

Posts: 203
From: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Registered: Jan 2002

posted February 04, 2002 18:46     Click Here to See the Profile for Bregalad     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well done Akira, that's a very good summary of American Football.

Evilbunny, a team may attempt a field goal on any one of the plays when they are in possession of the ball, not just within 30 yards of the other team's end zone. However, there are limits to how far a person can accurately kick a ball. As you might guess, strategy as well as human limitations dictate when to attempt a field goal.

I won't fill your brain with too much additional information now, but in most parts of the world "football" refers to the sport North Americans call soccer. In Canada football is essentially the same as in the US with a few field and rule differences. Down under football often refers to Aussie rules football, a sport somewhat like rugby that's played primarily in the Australian state of Victoria.

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LifetimeTrekker
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Posts: 326
From: Albuquerque, NM, UD
Registered: Sep 2001

posted February 04, 2002 20:38     Click Here to See the Profile for LifetimeTrekker   Click Here to Email LifetimeTrekker     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I came, I read, my brain is on fire from football!

Eek.

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SupportGoddess
Highlie

Posts: 527
From: The Digital Temple
Registered: Jul 2001

posted February 04, 2002 23:21     Click Here to See the Profile for SupportGoddess   Click Here to Email SupportGoddess     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Evilbunny:
WOW! I think I will take that bit of literature and memorize it. It is imperative to my life!
Thanks!

Why?

It has been imperative to my coworkers lives occasionally that they *stop* talking about it.

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reality.sys corrupted. universe halted. reboot (y/n)?

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Swiss Mercenary
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.

Posts: 1461
From: All the way from the land of Chocolate, Cheese and Cuckoo Clocks.
Registered: Feb 2000

posted February 05, 2002 01:29     Click Here to See the Profile for Swiss Mercenary   Click Here to Email Swiss Mercenary     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Football (the real game, not the US version of Rugby).

Played with round leather ball. Actually these days, not made of leather.
11 men on each team, 10 field players and 1 goalkeeper.
Object of the game: Get the round ball into the opponents goal.

Players not allowed to touch the ball with their hands or arms, except for the goalkeeper, and even only within his area, 15m box around the central point of his goal.

Each goal is worth one point (except in certain cup matches when away goals scored will count double in event of a tie).

Played in two-halfs of 45 minutes, no stoppages for commercials during play. Extra time may be added on for stoppages of play, such as injuries, during regular time.

Other rules exist, such as offside rule etc.

Most popular game in the world.

Much prefer Rugby myself.

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macadddikt18
SuperBlabberMouth!

Posts: 1126
From: In a world beyond your understanding
Registered: Jan 2002

posted February 05, 2002 06:13     Click Here to See the Profile for macadddikt18   Click Here to Email macadddikt18     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It all makes sence now. LIke someone turned the light on in my head.
Nayt

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Through out your life you will wonder who THEY are. Then you find out who THEY really are. From then on you live you life in fear of THEM and you wish you never knew who THEY were.

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feldspar
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From: Washington, DC
Registered: Jan 2002

posted February 05, 2002 07:35     Click Here to See the Profile for feldspar     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Another point that should be made is about punting, because I've been asked by friends unfamiliar with the game, "why are they kicking it now?". The team with the ball has four chances to advance it 10 yards, but if they fail to do so in those four tries the opposing team gets the ball where it is. Therefore, if the team has a good distance to go for the first down, say a couple yards or more, they will usually take that fourth down play to kick, or punt, the ball, which gives the opposing team possession of the ball but much farther away from the endzone than they would have been if the attempt to get the first down had failed.

Example: the Rams start with the ball on their own 20-yard line. On first down they run the ball forward for 4 yards. It's now "2nd and 6" with the ball on the 24-yard line. On second down the passer throws an incomplete pass, which gains no yards and the play is wasted. It's now "3rd and 6." On third down they again pass, this time with a catch that gains a further 3 yards. It's now "4th and 3" on the 27-yard line. Now if the Rams can't get those last three yards for the first down in the next play, the Patriots will get the ball where is lies at the end of the fourth-down play, and so not too far away from the endzone. Therefore the Rams (in most situations) will decide to take their fourth-down play and punt the ball to the Patriots, who get the ball but are now at their own (say) 24-yard line (nice punt).

There are also a number of penalties that can be called by the officials (of which there are seven on the field). Penalties can be called against offensive or defensive players, and generally add yards to be gained for the first down (if it's an offensive penalty) or subtract yards to be gained for the first down (if a defensive penalty).

Another example: the Patriots now have the ball on their 24-yard line. On first down, one of the Patriots' players moves illegally before the play begins. That's a "false start" that costs the Patriots 5 yards. The ball moves to their 19-yard line, and it remains first down; it's "1st and 15." On the next play, the Patriots throw a pass, which isn't caught. Unfortunately one of the Rams' defenders interfered with the Patriot trying to catch the ball, which results in the pass not being caught. That's a defensive penalty called "pass interference" and is pretty serious: the Patriots will gain 15 yards and a first down (regardless of how much distance they still needed to get it).

There are loads of penalties that can be called, and an official will make known that he has noticed a penalty by throwing a weighted yellow cloth (called a "flag") on the ground in the region of the penalty. Then the officials that were in the area will confer and the head official (the referee) will announce what the penalty was, who committed it, and what will happen to the ball because of it. This is one reason why the game can take so long to play. Add into the mix the recent development of "instant replay," where the referee will look at TV replays of the action to decide what actually happened (during the game, mind you), and an important game like the Super Bowl can take a while -- they want to make sure they make the right calls. (Instant replay is the source of vociferous debate, pro and con, but that's a subject fit for another forum).

There's a fair bit in football to geek out about. Strategizing picks on Draft Day is probably the highest attainment of that particular art. But don't try to master such minutiae at the start! Regardless, there won't be any more football until late summer (unless you count the Pro Bowl, played this weekend, which is the NFL's All-Star Game [yawn]).

BTW, baseball is also a good sport to geek out about, since it records reams and reams of statistics. Baseball stats geeks are called "sabermetricians" after their organization, the Society for American Baseball Research. Stephen Jay Gould is their patron saint. That too is a subject fit for another forum....

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feldspar.
"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

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Super Flippy
Geek

Posts: 78
From: South Carolina
Registered: Jan 2002

posted February 05, 2002 11:12     Click Here to See the Profile for Super Flippy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This topic reminds me of when I was on the cheerleading squad at Kansai Gaidai in Osaka. The other girls (all Japanese) said they were thrilled to have an American on the squad because I could explain football to them.

My command of the Japanese language was not very good and their English didn't include a lot of sports terminology, so instead of trying to explain the game, I just let them know when our team was defense or offense, so we could do the correct cheer for the situation.

I think if you can understand the difference between defense and offense, you've got most of the game anyway.

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Rednivek
unregistered
posted February 05, 2002 21:35           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Round... oblong...

Football (the kind most Americans like):

Theres a square thing with a picture.
Theres cold cylinders with liquid.
Theres round concave containers with square cubes within made of processed dairy food.
Theres twisted items which are made of a bread type substance, baked and salted.

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octothorp
Assimilated

Posts: 361
From: calgary, alberta, canada
Registered: Feb 2000

posted February 05, 2002 23:21     Click Here to See the Profile for octothorp   Click Here to Email octothorp     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
All you need to know about football is that the best football league on the continent is the Canadian Football League, where you still get a point when you miss a field-goal, where until recently, you could witness a matchup between the Roughriders and the Rough Riders, and where exciting games are common (unlike the NFL, where games as exciting as this year's super-bowl are really a rarity). But the best reason Canadian football is better than American: our balls are bigger ; )


#

(The CFL made millions (well, maybe thousands) using that as a marketing slogan a couple years ago.)

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macman
Neat Newbie

Posts: 12
From: a galaxy far, far away
Registered: Nov 2001

posted February 06, 2002 06:08     Click Here to See the Profile for macman     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've played junior high and high school football for six years now, and I've learned more from this topic than from all my years of experience. I suppose that the fact that I had a tendancy to cary books around and read them during the games had something to do with it....

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Paranoia is having all the facts.

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Super Flippy
Geek

Posts: 78
From: South Carolina
Registered: Jan 2002

posted February 06, 2002 07:24     Click Here to See the Profile for Super Flippy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Rednivek:

Theres a square thing with a picture.
Theres cold cylinders with liquid.
Theres round concave containers with square cubes within made of processed dairy food.
Theres twisted items which are made of a bread type substance, baked and salted.

Ha! Rednivek, I think you've got it right! At least, this sounds most like the game of football as I've experienced it recently.

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nekomatic
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Posts: 375
From: Manchester, UK
Registered: Mar 2000

posted February 06, 2002 07:28     Click Here to See the Profile for nekomatic   Click Here to Email nekomatic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Swiss Mercenary:
Football (the real game, not the US version of Rugby).

Well, Evilbunny did ask 'who knows how to play football here' which I take to mean the US

quote:

Other rules exist, such as offside rule etc.

...Which Swiss Mercenary will now eloquently explain:

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Swiss Mercenary
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.

Posts: 1461
From: All the way from the land of Chocolate, Cheese and Cuckoo Clocks.
Registered: Feb 2000

posted February 06, 2002 08:18     Click Here to See the Profile for Swiss Mercenary   Click Here to Email Swiss Mercenary     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by nekomatic:
...Which Swiss Mercenary will now eloquently explain:

Yeah right!

I am a computer programmer dammit, not a referee!

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EngrBohn
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Posts: 686
From: United States
Registered: Jul 2000

posted February 06, 2002 08:27     Click Here to See the Profile for EngrBohn   Click Here to Email EngrBohn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Uh, the offside rule. Isn't that a corollary to the eleven-player rule? All players who are not supposed to be on the field should be off to the side

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cb
Oooh! What does this button do!?

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TechnoGram
Super Geek

Posts: 245
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2002

posted February 06, 2002 13:26     Click Here to See the Profile for TechnoGram   Click Here to Email TechnoGram     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Evilbunny said:

quote:
WOW! I think I will take that bit of literature and memorize it. It is imperative to my life!

Mine too. My head is spinning from that oh-so-simple explanation.

Geez, all you need to know is this: there are two teams. The field is 100 yards long. There are goalposts, shaped kinda like the letter 'H' at each end of the field.

Each team tries to get the football through or over the other team's goalposts. If they run it through the goal it's a touchdown, worth 6 points. Then they get a chance to kick it over the bar in the H for another point.

They can also kick it over the bar without scoring a touchdown; that's a field goal, worth 3 points.

That's basically it, though you'd like it better if you knew about downs. If you want that part of it, let me know.

Regards


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Bregalad
Super Geek

Posts: 203
From: Vancouver, BC, Canada
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posted February 06, 2002 18:05     Click Here to See the Profile for Bregalad     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
All this talk about the rules to football got me thinking about what has to be the ultimate description of a sport. As remarkable as it might seem to someone not familiar with the game, it's quite comprehensive and makes perfect sense. So without further ado I hereby present Cricket: As explained to a foreigner...

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!


NOTE on the use of "man" and "men": this is simply the traditional reality. Although we are promoting the sport to both girls and boys it remains male dominated. Hopefully the next generation of cricketers will have a more even mix. Many of the best qualified umpires and scorers in Vancouver are women.

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TechnoGram
Super Geek

Posts: 245
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2002

posted February 07, 2002 08:52     Click Here to See the Profile for TechnoGram   Click Here to Email TechnoGram     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!

Oh.My.God. That reminds me of Abbot and Costello's classic take on baseball, Who's on First. That makes perfect sense too, as long as you realize that Who is the first baseman's last name!

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Tau Zero
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.

Posts: 1685
From:
Registered: Jan 2000

posted February 07, 2002 16:21     Click Here to See the Profile for Tau Zero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Among my prized possessions is the Abbott and Costello baseball team, with their names printed below each cartoon-player at their defensive positions, printed on a T-shirt.

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littlefish
Geek

Posts: 71
From: Edinburgh, UK
Registered: Nov 2001

posted February 11, 2002 02:14     Click Here to See the Profile for littlefish     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Of course the description of cricket given above only applies for a full test match. One day cricket has special rules

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TechnoGram
Super Geek

Posts: 245
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2002

posted February 11, 2002 09:28     Click Here to See the Profile for TechnoGram   Click Here to Email TechnoGram     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Tau Zero:
Among my prized possessions is the Abbott and Costello baseball team, with their names printed below each cartoon-player at their defensive positions, printed on a T-shirt.

Geez, and I thought I had something good because I have a tape of A&C doing the routine. Where'd ya get the shirt? I'd love to have one.

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.--. .-. --- - --- / - - -...

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Tau Zero
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation.

Posts: 1685
From:
Registered: Jan 2000

posted February 11, 2002 10:48     Click Here to See the Profile for Tau Zero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by TechnoGram:
Where'd ya get the shirt? I'd love to have one.

Unfortunately, they're no longer available.  The story I heard is that the A&C estates complained, the printer offered to take the A&C caricatures off the shirt, the A&C estate claimed that the names of the field positions were part of their copyrighted routine, and the printer gave up rather than fight an expensive court battle to sell a few dollars worth of shirts.

(Which is one reason I am for a radical narrowing of the scope of copyright.)

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illcommunication
Single Celled Newbie

Posts: 1
From: WV
Registered: Feb 2002

posted February 11, 2002 21:25     Click Here to See the Profile for illcommunication     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You don't have to have a goal-keeper.

[sorry I had to point that out]

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