And we WILL continue to sell our CHEESE BALL GENIUS shirts!!!!

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To whom it may concern,

On August 8, 2000, I was officially given the trademark for the use of the
phrase "Cheese Cube' and it's many combinations thereof. I noticed that
you're using the phrase "Cheese Cube" on your poll you currently have at the
URL: http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/index.html

Please read the following the press release which was issued well over a
year ago. Please don't make me drag this into litigation, I have a lot of
cheese cubes to produce before Christmas comes. ;^)

Happy Holidays and keep up the great work!

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Hanson, Dodge + Sutter Introduces Revolutionary CheeseCube�
CheeseCube� Delivers Cheese Ball Experience in a Five Inch Cube

CHEESEWORLD EXPO, MILWAUKEE � August 8, 2000
Hanson, Dodge + Sutter(HD+S) today introduced the CheeseCube�, an entirely new class of cheeseball that delivers all of the taste and experience of a conventional cheeseball in an five inch cube suspended in a stunning
pecan-coated enclosure. The CheeseCube is less than one half the size of most cheeseballs, yet supplies all of the expected taste and texture through
the use of a technology HD+S has coined FlavorEngine�. FlavorEngine enables
the CheeseCube to reach a super-cheeseball flavor of over three billion gustations per second.

�The CheeseCube is simply the coolest cheeseball ever,� said Dan Herwig,
HD+S�s Director of Cheeseball Development. �An entirely new class of
cheeseball, it marries the impressive flavor performance of the unwieldy
cheese-log with the miniaturization, efficiency and elegant tabletop design
of a tiny Cheez-Whiz Snak Pak. It is an amazing engineering and design feat,
and we�re thrilled to finally unveil it to our customers.�

The CheeseCube uses a revolutionary patented chemical design called
FlavorEngine� that does not require actual tasting, enabling calorie-free
consumption by the user. Herwig stated, "We've bypassed the cranial nerves
which carry taste information into the brain to a part of the brain stem
called the nucleus of the solitary tract. From the nucleus of the solitary
tract, taste information goes to the thalamus and then to the cerebral
cortex. By only utilizing the sense of smell we are able to transmit taste
information directly to hypothalamus and amygdala portions of the limbic
system, enabling us to bypass the gastrointestinal tract."

"We think the CheeseCube� is going to be great for all Cheeseball fans out
there," Herwig said, "And it's because we're the only cheeseball Company
around that makes the whole widget, from chemically engineering the raw
ingredients to designing the form of the final ball of cheese."

The HD+S CheeseCube� will be unveiled this afternoon on the 6th floor of the
Bermer Building, located at 301 N. Water St., Milwaukee, WI 53202.

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HD+S ignited the personal cheeseball revolution in early 2000 with the
Spring Edition cheeseball and reinvented the personal cheeseball in Summer
of 200o with the CheeseCube�. HD+S is committed to bringing the best
cheeseball experience to students, educators, creative professionals and
consumers around the world through its innovative engineering, designing and
manufacturing.

� 2000 Hanson, Dodge + Sutter, Inc. All rights reserved. Hanson, Dodge +
Sutter, HD+S, the HD+S logo, CheeseCube� and FlavorEngine� are either registered trademarks or trademarks of HD+S. Other company and product names may be trademarks of their respective owners.

That's probably the only free publicity the twits are going to get!

Well, I have tried one of these cheese cubes, and the only conceivable use I have for another is to put it beside my collection of fruitcakes and use them both when I run out of water balloons when I repell the Christmas Carollers.

I point out that the Joypoll in question was for entertainment purposes. There was no defamation of said cheese cube, and since Kraft Foods has been marketing Cheese Cubes long before August 8, 2000, and Sargento makes a product marketed to children called Cheese Cubes: http://cpdprod.isthmusgroup.net/aboutus/press_rel.jsp
press release 08/29/2001,
let this miscreant go (expletive deleted) himself.

BTW, Snaggy, I would SEND this twit a Cheese Ball Genius shirt.

P.S. Lifetime Trekker, this is a joke.

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HANSON, DODGE + SUTTER PREVIEWS ENTIRELY NEW CHEESBALL
New Version Features Increased Flavor and Usability Enhancements

CHEESEBALL EXPO, MILWAUKEE � August 10, 2001 � At the Cheeseball Expo Keynote, Hanson, Dodge + Sutter (HD+S) today previewed their PortWine� Cheeseball, the second major upgrade to HD+S�s cheeseball product line. The PortWine� Cheeseball will deliver significant flavor improvements, new features, and additional support for HD+S's FlavorEngine� Technology. The PortWine� Cheeseball will be available to consumers beginning September 1, 2001, through all existing distribution channels. Yesterday, HD+S also announced it has discontinued production of the revolutionary CheeseCube�. It is not yet known whether these two announcements are related.

The PortWine� Cheeseball is the ultimate party hub, with the ability to create a lively appetizer table crowd and stimulate engaging conversation among all that consume it. This is the result of HD+S's exclusive FlavorEngine� Technology, which actually taps directly in the cerebral cortex of the human brain and suggests lively topics, such as the weather or pet antics, while at the same time reinforces the natural incredible flavor of the cheeseball.

"This new PortWine� Cheeseball is incredibly tasty and incorporates many suggestions from our customers such as the improved ambidextrous cheese spreader that can be placed on the left, bottom or right edge of the cheeseball," said Dan Herwig, Director of Cheeseball Development at HD+S.

"I certainly can't take all of the credit however," Herwig added. "I'm just a figurehead on this one. I had an incredible product team behind me on this project, especially the groundbreaking field research of Thomas Gaudynski, resident Director of HD+S's Cheeseball Experience Practice Area."

Thought to be on sabbatical for the last three months, Gaudynski was actually travelling the world searching for new ways to rejuvenate the still-floundering Cheeseball industry.

"Unfortunately, due to intense corporate espionage and competition in our industry, I had to disguise my global data collection mission as a personal sabbatical," Gaudynski stated. "I wish I could do my work openly, in a business climate that embraces innovation over competition."

Gaudynski indicated that the idea for the PortWine� Cheeseball spawned from research he conducted in the Portuguese Douro Valley region. His research focused on two main goals: to increase the natural flavor of cheeseball and reduce the risk of food-borne allergen deaths due to the use of Bleu Cheese in a traditional cheeseball recipe. Although uncommon and usually only resulting in minor headaches, bleu cheese allergies have been know to cause deaths in severe cases, most recently when Canadian resident Anna Stiborno died from consuming a Figi's cheeseball. Figi, a subsidiary of the media conglomerate AOL/Time-Warner, is a competitor of HD+S.

"I'm happy to say that we succeeded in both goals for this product," added Herwig. "The PortWine� Cheesball carries beautifully across the palette thanks to Thomas's research, and it also allows our allergy-inflicted customers a chance to experience the richness an HD+S cheeseball can bring to their gathering."

An exclusive press-only preview of the PortWine� Cheeseball will take place this afternoon on the 6th floor of Hanson, Dodge + Sutter's Milwaukee headquarters.

Photo:
http://www.therestofme.com/port_wine.jpg

-----

HD+S ignited the personal cheeseball revolution in early 2000 with the Spring Edition cheeseball and reinvented the personal cheeseball in Summer of 2000 with the CheeseCube�. HD+S is committed to bringing the best cheeseball experience to students, educators, creative professionals and consumers around the world through its innovative engineering, designing and manufacturing.

Press Contacts:
Dan Herwig
[email protected]

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Hanson, Dodge + Sutter Announces Uncertain Cheeseball Outlook

MILWAUKEE, WI � May 4, 2001

Hanson, Dodge + Sutter(HD+S) today announced lower-than-expected earnings for their entire line of cheeseball products, citing the global economic turndown and politically-determined supply shortages, as the cause of the missed earnings. This unexpected news comes following a stunningly impressive year for the company. HD+S released 2 entirely new products in 2000 that redefined and reinvigorated the floundering cheeseball industry, capturing 73% of the U.S. market virtually overnight.

Previous market leader, Figi's Incorporated, ceased operations at it's Detroit-based cheeseball factory in February of 2001, stating that the landscape "...had become much to competitive for us to remain profitable." The remaining cheeseball producers have managed to hang on to roughly one quarter of the market, due to their smaller operations and lower overhead costs. Harry Fromagier, co-founder of the Harry & David catalog and chain of stores, states that "We've been able to survive because we're a boutique operation, largely unaffected by shifts in the global marketplace."

The same cannot be said about Hanson, Dodge + Sutter's cheeseball operation. Dan Herwig, HD+S�s Director of Cheeseball Development has been charged with the duty of answering to investors about the missed earnings target. "Unbelievably, the biggest challenge we faced this quarter was making sure the Bush administration doesn't do anything else to disrupt foreign trade policies. We've been lobbing congress very heavy to ensure that our operations continue to operate unaffected, despite immature foreign policy decisions coming from the White House."

HD+S says that they use only the finest ingredients from around the globe, citing France and China as major suppliers of many of their cheeses and spices. "Don't even get me started on Bush's China policy," says Herwig. He adds, "And to make things worse, I wake up today to discover that we managed to get ourselves kicked out of the U.N. Commission on Human Rights." This doesn't bode well for HD+S, whose major supplies of cheese come from France.

When asked about how HD+S's Cheeseball division plans to return to profitability, Herwig stated that they may need to look at domestic suppliers as an option. Due to their lobbying efforts, the federal government has even offered to supply HD+S with foil-wrapped blocks of cheese from their strategic underground supply bases which house vast amounts of no-chill cheese, peanut butter and mini-packs of Sanka instant coffee. Herwig's response, "It's an option, but how many people that you know would want to have a "Government-Cheese"-ball at their next family gathering?"

The HD+S 2001 Spring Cheeseball will be unveiled this afternoon on the 6th floor of the Bermer Building, located at 301 N. Water St., Milwaukee, WI 53202.

-----

HD+S ignited the personal cheeseball revolution in early 2000 with the Spring Edition cheeseball and reinvented the personal cheeseball in Summer of 2000 with the CheeseCube�. HD+S is committed to bringing the best cheeseball experience to students, educators, creative professionals and consumers around the world through its innovative engineering, designing and manufacturing.

Press Contacts:
Dan Herwig
[email protected]

I thought you might enjoy the recipe for my fine lineage of cheeseball. (It dates back to the 1920's in Wausau, WI from what I know about it.) Don't knock it till you try it!

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DAN'S FAMOUS CHEESEBALL
-----------------------
16 oz. Neufchatel Cheese (A Light Cheese Cream)
8 oz. Ghetto American Cheese (Substitute w/Havarti for a treat!)
4 oz. Bleu Cheese
1 medium onion, finely chopped
1 cup O' *Finely* Chopped Pecans
.5 cup fresh chopped parsley

1. Set out cream cheese for 1 hour at room temp.
2. Tear apart American cheese into tiny morsels, or chop it up if you're anal (You can just coarsely grate the Havarti)
3. Mix onion, parsley, cream cheese, American Cheese and bleu cheese in a bowl, along with a half a cup of the *Finely* chopped pecans (Mix it with your hands - gross!)
4. Roll the giant ball of fat into a ball and set on a plate, refrigerate
for at least 3 hours
5. When the ball of fat has set up from being refrigerated, roll it in a
plate full of the *Finely* chopped pecans to give it that distinctive
"cheeseball" look
6. Decorate your serving tray with a bed of the greens of your choice
7. Bring cheeseball anywhere you want to make lots of superficial friends
who only want you for your cheeseball

*TIP: Try experimenting with ingredients. Substitute fresh chives for parsley, etc.

You can't trademark real words and then get mad when people use them. I mean, if you could, I would trademark "the" and make everyone pay me to use it.

http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO2&Sect2=HITOFF&p=1&u=/netahtml/search-bool.html&r=7&f=G&l=50&co1=AND&d=pall&s1='cheese+ball'&OS=

quote:

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TSR ... had a trademark on the word 'Nazi'.

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