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September 14, 2007
The Pretty Woman Tax
As I was waiting for my chef salad in my favorite cafe, I was glancing through a tabloid. Paul McCartney's divorce may cost him GBP 70 Million (US$ 140 Million). Sir Paul was seen in the Hamptons with his 4 times married friend Christie Brinkley. With a nudge nudge wink wink they thought that he should get advice from her about getting divorced.
Paul take advice from me! I used to practice some family law in my early days as a lawyer. The first rule is that before you ink the deal on the separation of assets you should live like a monk. Do not be seen partying in the Hamptons with former Super-models (or worse current Super-models). If you do, then be prepared to pay the "Pretty woman tax". The tax will be imposed by your ex. The prettier and/or younger the woman you are seeing is than your ex, the more you are going to pay. Your ex will drag things out and keep increasing her demands until you are out of money or patience or the new woman leaves.
The path of humility is the way to go before a settlement is reached. While negotiating the settlement gain weight, wear frumpy clothing and try to look as pale and sickly as possible. If you do date choose older more matronly women. When going to social functions where your ex will be at, drive a beater there or take public transportation. When you see your ex, ask her to lend you money. Let her catch you sneaking food in your pockets to take home.
If you really want to get a good settlement, then set your ex up with Mr. Wonderful. Try to set her up with someone who is younger, richer, smarter and better looking than you. It may be difficult to get someone like that to take your leftovers, but you never know. Tell Mr. Wonderful whatever lies that you have to, but just do it.
Following my advice may mean that for a few months your ex and your common friends may see you as a loser and wash-up, but your pocket book will thank you for it. After the ink is dry on the settlement take the money you save to hit the gym, buy the sports car and find the Pretty woman - tax free!
Posted by at September 14, 2007 11:23 AM