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Author Topic: Even when things are going as planned...
CommanderShroom
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2097

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted August 02, 2007 09:34      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
things can feel like you are at the top of the pile of bodies, rather than at the bottom.

Without many details, my kids are living with me now. And every court date, mediation, and meeting, things look like they are going more and more in my favor.

So why the hell do I feel like there are four losers instead of any winners?

This is life with the balls to the wall. And the only choice I have right now is to hold on for dear life and "if something gets in your way. Turn."

Yesterday I spent some time with my ex wife's grandfather, who was in hospice care. Not sure if he heard a single thing I said, but I do hope so. Today he took his last breath and I wish him a safe trip to wherever he goes. I really regret that after the seperation and divorce I didn't take more time out to visit and BS about living dirt poor in the hills and comparing outhouse horror stories. Or bitch about the government. But at the time, I didn't feel it was proper to drop by my ex wife's grandparents place to go and shoot the shit.

Before his last stroke I went to visit him at the hospital, as I usually do. And went sat for a bit and talked. It was the last time I saw him coherent. But before I left I made a joke about not letting life keep him down. His reply to me was "I hope you don't either. Because I have seen it kick you around a lot lately."

I guess it's true. Sometimes I wonder if there really is a god. Because surely random life can't be so well aimed. So many disasters can't truly follow a man around for so long. And if there is, I have two middle fingers raised to the sky in defiance.

--------------------
Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2463 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
Stereo

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 748

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted August 02, 2007 10:02      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by CommanderShroom:
So why the hell do I feel like there are four losers instead of any winners?

Because there can't be any winner when things crumbles to the ground - bridges or relationships alike.

If you believe (or want to) in some [G|g]od, there's this nice (or twisted?) little tought I've heard: God only sends what one can support. Which means if you have a tough life, it's because you can handle it.

But quite frankly, I don't believe anymore, so here's my take: some people has it rough their whole life long, just as some have it easy but still bitch because they can't properly compare. And there are those who see both sides. No matter what, there are always two main choices: carry on, or end it there. But in the second case, there's one certitude: there is no more chance to see things go better.

So hang in there, and here's to things easing up for you soon!

--------------------
Eppur, si muove!

Galileo Galilei

Posts: 2289 | From: Gatineau, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
stevenback7
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 5114

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Icon 1 posted August 02, 2007 10:48      Profile for stevenback7   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
yeah - what i've learned is life is never stable. You get the patches were everything is going normal, there is a routine in your life, only minor things bother you. And then you suddenly get hit by something and your life is turned upside down. I've learned that you can just hope that these experiences are for the good and not the bad and if they are for the bad that they only last for a couple months before you slip back into your routine.

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Comic Book Guy: There is no emoticon for what i'm feeling.

Posts: 1199 | From: Canada eh? | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
fs

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 1181

Icon 1 posted August 02, 2007 13:05      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hey Shroom.

You get your kids. That's a good thing. You get to spend plenty of time with them and be a big part of their lives. Your kids have two parents that love them enough to both want them. Yeah, that's the way it should be, but plenty of kids aren't that lucky. Splitting up is never nice. About the best anyone can hope for is civil.

No matter how much time you spent with your wife's grandfather, you would still wish for more. It's the finality of realizing there is no more. But it sounds like you had a good relationship and a lot of respect for him and memories you can cherish.

Life has been crappy for you for a while, but you are getting through it. And it won't be crappy forever. Really.

*hugs*

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I'm in ur database, makin' moar recordz.

Posts: 1973 | From: The Cat Ship | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2097

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted August 02, 2007 14:24      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thanks all.

A lot of frustration involved here. I am very glad to have the kids with me. But definitely the circumstances surrounding the change could have been better. That is the largest frustration in the whole ordeal. I can think of dozens of scenarios that would have been better than this one. But frustrating to even deal with. And at moments, a tad bit intense.

Like I said, a lot of people have lost in this deal, and no one won. I am just hoping that as this goes along, that it gets easier.

And my ex's grandfather was definitely a person I respected and did greatly enjoy hanging out with. There are some people that the second you meet them you can't help but like them. He was one of those kinds of people.

--------------------
Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2463 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
-ct-
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 209

Icon 1 posted August 02, 2007 15:25      Profile for -ct-   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
oh yeah, there's a "higher power", and it's out to get me [ohwell]


at least, that's how i see it

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Things are always darkest... just before you pull your head out of your butt, void where prohibited, keep away from flame, surcharge(s) may apply.

www.harddriveHELL.com and demoniclemon.com

Posts: 1906 | From: nowhere, man | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Sxeptomaniac

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Icon 1 posted August 03, 2007 16:10      Profile for Sxeptomaniac   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, Shroom, not much I can say about all this, but this verse seemed appropriate to the thread:

quote:
Does it please you to oppress me,
to spurn the work of your hands,
while you smile on the plans of the wicked?
Job 10:3



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Let's pray that the human race never escapes from Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere. - C. S. Lewis

Posts: 1590 | From: Fresno, CA | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
BooBooKitty

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Icon 1 posted August 03, 2007 20:37      Profile for BooBooKitty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hang in there, Shroom. I try to be optimistic when possible. I'm hoping that at some point things will become easier for you and the boys.

*HUGS*

Posts: 796 | From: Montreal, Canada | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2097

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted August 04, 2007 12:36      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sigh...

So today I had to drive to the animal shelter. My eldest's puppy caught parvo. The little fella was so ill, I really couldn't stand to see him suffer any more.

 -

If really this is a Job story, I think I will roll up north and pick up hookers and drink cleaning products with
these folks.

--------------------
Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2463 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
BooBooKitty

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Icon 1 posted August 04, 2007 15:28      Profile for BooBooKitty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Awwww!! Poor puppy! [Frown] I hope the eldest is doing okay. It's tough.

*HUGS*

Posts: 796 | From: Montreal, Canada | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
YaYawoman

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Icon 1 posted August 04, 2007 16:51      Profile for YaYawoman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Damn. Im sorry you and your family are going through all this.
Posts: 765 | From: virginia | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
fs

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 1181

Icon 1 posted August 05, 2007 02:34      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by CommanderShroom:
Sigh...

So today I had to drive to the animal shelter. My eldest's puppy caught parvo. The little fella was so ill, I really couldn't stand to see him suffer any more.

*hugs* for you guys. [Frown]

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I'm in ur database, makin' moar recordz.

Posts: 1973 | From: The Cat Ship | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Snaggy

Sir Snaggalot!
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Icon 9 posted August 05, 2007 22:15      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
crap. That's a whole lot of life sucks to deal with. [Frown]

Hope things look brighter soon, and big hugs to the kids.

Posts: 8100 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
nerdwithnofriends
Uber Geek
Member # 3773

Icon 1 posted August 05, 2007 23:50      Profile for nerdwithnofriends     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hang in there, man. I'm toasting you as I type this (it's only Coor's, but that's all I got ATM).

Satanism (at least the Laveyan type) is an individualistic philosophy. While certainly something whose general principal I can endorse, it seems to me that you've been going through a lot with/for your kids, so I don't think it would suit you. You're too nice a guy [Smile]

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"The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower." - Robert M. Pirsig

Posts: 948 | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
Aditu
SuperBlabberMouth!
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Icon 1 posted August 06, 2007 07:34      Profile for Aditu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm so sorry to hear how things are going. As a single mom, I know it isn't easy especially with everything else going on in your life right now. Sending you all a big hug!!!
Posts: 1355 | From: Osten Ard | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged


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