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Author
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Topic: Cause of death: Bath Mat
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mistersaxon
Mini Geek
Member # 6816
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posted June 10, 2007 12:27
And I don't think you'll be expecting this . .
So, anyway, there I am on my motorbike (Honda Blackbird, lovely bike!) heading off into town about 7 - 8 miles away. I've done just 2 or maybe three miles when *BANG* and no motive power no more. I coast to a halt in a lay-by and put down the kick-stand. Look round the bike.
What the F***?
Fluffy pink bits everywhere. No number plate or left indicator. Chain hanging off - not broken but derailed from the rear sprocket. Fluffy pink cloth wrapped round the axle really, really tight. Tyre - melted on the left side. All gone to bobbles like they do when you spin the tyres out.
And the weird thing? I recognise the pink fluffy thing - it's our old bath mat. I thought it was safely out of the way at the back of the garage but no, it's hitched a lift for a couple of miles before flicking out a couple of times to remove the indicator and number plate and then wrapped itself round the sprocket derailing the chain. Then wrapped itself round the axle and into the rear shock.
I don't know what would have happened if it had broken the chain, but I've heard bad stories about that. I don't know what would have happened if it had locked up the wheel while I was doing 70+ past a line of cars but I can imagine. Or maybe wrapped round the shock and then gone under the tyre? Or, or, or . .
So anyway, I dug all the cloth out, looked for my number plate (no luck), put the chain back on (brute force, new chain please, this one's all floppy now :-( ) and went home.
So, new tyre, indicator, number plate, chain, plus getting the back end checked out for any hidden damage from the chain running round. But it could all have been much, much worse and the bike did need a service anyway. *Sigh* I'm so darned lucky.
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Rich.
Posts: 64 | From: Thame, UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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CommanderShroom
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2097
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posted June 10, 2007 12:56
Oh man. Sounds like a hell of a ride right there.
A chain and tyre sounds like a small price to pay all things considered.
But I bet it was truly photo worthy to see the pink bath mat waving like a flag behind you for those few miles.
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Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest
Posts: 2418 | From: Somewhere between the gutter... and probably another gutter | Registered: Mar 2003
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Rhonwyyn
Solid Gold SuperFan!
Member # 2854
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posted June 10, 2007 18:25
Not much makes me laugh out loud when I'm browsing the Web, but boy, Commander Shroom, your comment about the bathmat-flag waving along behind the bike...!! That gave me a good laugh!!! ![[Applause]](graemlins/applause.gif) ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) ![[thumbsup]](graemlins/thumbsup.gif)
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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!
Posts: 3821 | From: Lancaster, PA | Registered: Jul 2004
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The Famous Druid
Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769
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posted June 10, 2007 19:27
quote:
Originally posted by CommanderShroom:
...I bet it was truly photo worthy...
Ask, and ye shall receive.
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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.
Posts: 10311 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002
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boo
Highlie
Member # 5991
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posted June 10, 2007 21:03
What I want to know is, why was there a bathmat in your garage? ![[ohwell]](graemlins/ohwell.gif)
And kudos for not biting the big one.
Posts: 775 | From: us of a | Registered: Oct 2006
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mistersaxon
Mini Geek
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posted June 11, 2007 00:33
You know what it reminds me of? That scene in "So Long and Thanks for all the Fish" with the biscuits? I'm buzzing along feeling like a real bad dude on my hairy-ass motorsickle and as I go past everyone I have this pink fluffy rug flapping my bike to bits behind me. I like to think it was probably smoking as well by this point.
I think that's the worst bit about this whole thing - me not having a damn clue. But thanks for pointing it out Shroom and hey! Druid - NONONONONONONONONONO! It's a badass black bike with pink bits. *Sheesh*
The mat was in the garage to give me something to kneel on when I'm working on the bike. There's a jute rug in there as well and some old car mats so keep your eyes peeled for episodes 2 and 3.
Anyways, I've updated my pre-ride instructions from the Haynes Book of Lies:
Daily, before riding:
1) Check the tyre pressures are correct - these should always be measured cold.
2) Ensure the chain is correctly tensioned - you may perform this check with the bike on or off the centre-stand.
3) Check the lights and horn are working - check indicators, brake lights and dipped and main beam.
4) Ensure there is sufficient fuel in the tank and that it is not switched to "Reserve" if the tank has that ability. If it is on Reserve then fill up as soon as possible
5) Ensure lights and mirrors are clean and that the rear number plate can be read.
6) Check around the rear hugger and suspension for BIG PINK BATH-MATS YOU MORON!
I'm going to laminate this and put it up in the garage.
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Rich.
Posts: 64 | From: Thame, UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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LemonSmuggler
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posted June 11, 2007 02:15
Eeek! Close call, glad you're okay. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Ah-ha! I always knew bath mats were evil, and this just proves my point!
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Oy to the vey.
Posts: 182 | From: My pillow/blanket fort that kicks your forts bum | Registered: Mar 2007
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fs
Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 1181
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posted June 11, 2007 03:51
Glad you are okay...
that's an awesome story though.
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I'm in ur database, makin' moar recordz.
Posts: 1973 | From: The Cat Ship | Registered: Mar 2002
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supaboy
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posted June 11, 2007 06:50
I was riding my bicycle several years ago when something like that happened to me. I was towards the back of a group of riders, and we were all chugging along at just over 20 mph. I was swapping my empty front water bottle with the full rear bottle. Right as I was about to put the empty bottle in the rear cage, I hit an expansion joint on the bridge we were crossing. It jarred the bottle out of my left hand, and it miraculously stood itself up on the tiny platform of the crank arm and the chainstay.
I had enough time to realize what a lucky break I'd just had, that the bottle hadn't fallen into the spokes of the spinning wheel right next to it, locking the wheel up and sending me into a lurid slide with riders right behind me, when I hit the next expansion joint that jostled the bottle into the spokes of the spinning wheel right next to it, locking the wheel up and sending me into a lurid slide with riders right behind me.
Fortunately, it was the rear that locked up, and the other riders were able to avoid me. I managed to stay on my feet when the bike finally stopped, and all I had to do to get going again was remove the broken spokes crank the rear brake open to allow the now-out-of-true wheel to turn until I could get the spokes replaced.
Ride on!
Posts: 1766 | From: Columbia, SC USA | Registered: Jan 2000
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The Ste
Geek Larva
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posted June 11, 2007 14:46
I actually hate not cycling to work anymore but i'm just too far away these days. But story's like that remind me of my own cycling near death experiences which sometimes make me happy I'm driving my Honda Accord with comfy leather seats and no chance of being minced by passing trucks. Glad your ok though, sounds like an interesting night.
Posts: 23 | From: dublin | Registered: Jun 2007
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mistersaxon
Mini Geek
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posted June 11, 2007 15:42
It's all relative and believe me, bath mats are the tip of the iceberg. I quote:
quote:
Other menaces around the home included hair brushes (1394 incidents), vegetables (14,149) piles of ironing (5248) and cotton wool buds (8569). False teeth caused 933 accidents, clothes baskets 2768, toilet roll holders 287, brillo pads 226, talcum powder 123, and deodorants 431.
Injuries inflicted by furniture are also common with 43,173 people attending hospital after a close encounter with a sofa, while armchairs caused 15,355 accidents and the much-maligned pouffe 16,339
The full story is here and although it's a personal injury site I think the story is not originally theirs.
I'm trying to decide what would be the most lethal combination of items to keep in a garage and how these might combine to cause most damage. Every scenario with a cucumber in it ends badly for me. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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Rich.
Posts: 64 | From: Thame, UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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Callipygous
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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posted June 11, 2007 16:10
quote:
Originally posted by mistersaxon:
Every scenario with a cucumber in it ends badly for me.
I hope you heed this valuable lesson for life. As Dr Johnson said "A cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing."
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"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton
Posts: 2922 | From: Brighton - UK | Registered: Mar 2003
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stringlion
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posted June 11, 2007 17:59
I propose that we organize an Internation execution and ban of all big pink bath mats.
Posts: 94 | From: NYS, US | Registered: Dec 2005
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alfrin
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Member # 3836
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posted June 11, 2007 19:15
I really need to get more cultured. The word tyre confused me for this entire thread until I realized it was the same as the American tire.
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Art is Resistance / Resistance is Art
Posts: 813 | From: Nevada, USA | Registered: Apr 2005
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The Famous Druid
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posted June 11, 2007 20:31
Don't worry alfrin, many Americans get confused by English spellyng.
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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.
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garlicguy
Member # 3166
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posted June 11, 2007 20:33
quote:
Originally posted by The Ste:
But story's like that remind me of my own cycling near death experiences ...
Speaking of which, is Xanth back in the lower 48 yet?
And welcome back, alfrin! We've not seen you for a while. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004
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alfrin
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posted June 11, 2007 20:53
quote:
Originally posted by garlicguy:
quote:
Originally posted by The Ste:
But story's like that remind me of my own cycling near death experiences ...
Speaking of which, is Xanth back in the lower 48 yet?
And welcome back, alfrin! We've not seen you for a while.
I've had a crazy year school year of dealing with everything and then trying to deal with my emotions after learning my girlfriend of half a year lied about her entire life. Down to every last detail, colour of her hair. EVERYTHING. She made up a group of like ten friends. One was dead before I came along, one died while dating. She half believed they were real, half knew they weren't but used them to relate to me. Thats a story for a different thread, I don't know if you all want to hear this.
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Art is Resistance / Resistance is Art
Posts: 813 | From: Nevada, USA | Registered: Apr 2005
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fs
Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 1181
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posted June 12, 2007 00:50
quote:
Originally posted by stringlion:
I propose that we organize an Internation execution and ban of all big pink bath mats.
And cucumbers.
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I'm in ur database, makin' moar recordz.
Posts: 1973 | From: The Cat Ship | Registered: Mar 2002
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GrumpySteen
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posted June 12, 2007 03:17
quote:
Originally posted by fs:
quote:
Originally posted by stringlion:
I propose that we organize an Internation execution and ban of all big pink bath mats.
And cucumbers.
Do you have any idea how many porn sites that would put out of business?
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Worst. Celibate. Ever.
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mistersaxon
Mini Geek
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posted June 12, 2007 03:42
quote:
Originally posted by Steen:
Do you have any idea how many porn sites that would put out of business?
If it saves the life of just one motorcyclist then it's a price worth paying.
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Rich.
Posts: 64 | From: Thame, UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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garlicguy
Member # 3166
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posted June 12, 2007 08:16
quote:
Originally posted by mistersaxon:
I like to think it was probably smoking as well by this point.
This should not be a concern these days as most folks only smoke during (and on occasion for a short while after) really haht secks. Thus the passers-by probably just attributed the whole thing to commonplace deviant behavoir, rather than stupidity or carelessness.
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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004
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mistersaxon
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posted June 12, 2007 09:15
I'm hoping it looked like this:
. . . but I doubt it, somehow.
quote:
passers-by probably just wrongly attributed the whole thing to commonplace deviant behaviour, rather than stupidity or carelessness
You missed a word out so I put it in for you. My deviant behaviour is never mistaken for anything else.
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Rich.
Posts: 64 | From: Thame, UK | Registered: Jan 2007
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