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Author Topic: A Letter to my Printer...
Lady_Christy
Geek
Member # 7103

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 27, 2007 15:57      Profile for Lady_Christy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Dear HP Deskjet 612C,

Why?

I know we've had our differences. More than once have you eaten a particularly significant paper, and I have cursed your very existence, but these were only words of anger, shouted in a fit of passion.

"The printer is out of paper"...How, praytell? [Confused] I am looking directly at you, and there is paper. Perhaps not enough, so I insert another few sheets, in some futile attempt to please you...but it is all for naught.

Then, you begin printing the mocking test pages, which declare such things as "HP Deskjet, so amazingly simple to use!" "Convenient to operate!" Oh, Deskjet 612C, how I would love to experience the "crisp black text and vibrant color on any paper" that you advertise...oh, how I would!

Oh. how very lovely. That is a butterfly...I do not know what you think I'm going to do with a picture of a butterfly, but its a lovely gesture of apology....*gulp* I hope. [ohwell]

So, HP Deskjet 612C, in closing. I love you, I have always loved you. Even after you shredded my 16 page paper on the Developmental Psychology Methods of Piaget, I kept you around. We've been through a lot together HP Deskjet 612C...that means something to me, and I thought it meant something to you as well....perhaps I was wrong, but I hope not *sniffle sniflle* [Frown]

Maybe I will show you Office Space, that may change your tune of office supply bitchiness... [Mad]

Sincerely,

Your Exasperated Owner

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"There are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't." :)

Posts: 207 | From: The Northwoods | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged
Maggs
Geek
Member # 4682

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 27, 2007 16:25      Profile for Maggs     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have my own dilemma... along the same lines.

Oh Cisco 851W, why can't I telnet to thee, for one blue sheath is the key to success but alas the silver knight carries only USB, so woe is me.

Posts: 193 | From: NYC | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
Just_Jess_B

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 2161

Icon 1 posted May 27, 2007 17:24      Profile for Just_Jess_B   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'd write an exasperated letter to my printer . . . if I could talk to it over the network more often than not. [Wink]

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Opinion is not Truth; that is why each has its own definition. Illiteracy sucks.

Posts: 1370 | From: Whaddya mean, Arizona? | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2097

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted May 27, 2007 17:26      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I just installed a JetDirect on my 2200. Of course it doesn't want to see it. But it's there.

No networked printer goodness here in the I.E.

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Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2463 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
ScholasticSpastic
Highlie
Member # 6919

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 27, 2007 17:41      Profile for ScholasticSpastic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Lady_Christy, I know we hardly know each other, but you are strange and lovely and if you were nearby I'd ply you with food and entertainment and attempt to get all animal planet with you.

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"As in repeating a well-known song, so in instincts, one action follows another by a sort of rhythm; if a person be interrupted in a song, or in repeating anything by rote, he is generally forced to go back to recover the habitual train of thought..." (Darwin, The Origin of Species)

Posts: 540 | From: Vernal, UT | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
Lady_Christy
Geek
Member # 7103

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 28, 2007 00:08      Profile for Lady_Christy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
*blush blush* Why, thank you..."strange and lovely" Quite the compliment, to go with quite the invitation...I am flattered. [Smile]

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"There are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't." :)

Posts: 207 | From: The Northwoods | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged
Infinitesimal
Geek
Member # 4865

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 28, 2007 06:12      Profile for Infinitesimal     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Doth one detect some budding romance in the air .... [Razz]

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That which doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. Therefore I am damn near indestructable.

Posts: 153 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
LoneWolf
Mini Geek
Member # 4966

Rate Member
Icon 1 posted May 28, 2007 13:07      Profile for LoneWolf     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ah geek love - the purest form there is!
Posts: 61 | From: Victoria BC | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged
Richard Wolf VI
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 4993

Icon 10 posted May 28, 2007 20:28      Profile for Richard Wolf VI   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
May I use your letter for a farewell to my Epson Stylus CX3500?
That "little" bastard was a BAD investment.

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The same old iWanToUseaMac... Who am I fooling? I'm getting a Wii now, iWanToUseaMac isn't :P
Get Opera. The best web experience.
Contest. Group. Success.

Posts: 1356 | From: Bogotá, Colombia | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged
ScholasticSpastic
Highlie
Member # 6919

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 28, 2007 21:51      Profile for ScholasticSpastic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Ah geek love - the purest form there is!
Made even purer by distance and geeky vows of abstinence, I'm afraid.

To be honest, I'm a little bemused by Lady_Christy's response:
quote:
*blush blush* Why, thank you..."strange and lovely" Quite the compliment, to go with quite the invitation...I am flattered.
This is not the response I'm accustomed to and I'm not sure how to progress. There was no proclaimed (or actual vomiting) and any screaming which may have taken place went without comment as well... Strange and lovely indeed- I honestly don't know how to deal with flattered acceptance of my attentions. This is new territory for me.

Tell me, Lady_Christy, were you not at least a little sickened or frightened? [hearts] [crazy]

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"As in repeating a well-known song, so in instincts, one action follows another by a sort of rhythm; if a person be interrupted in a song, or in repeating anything by rote, he is generally forced to go back to recover the habitual train of thought..." (Darwin, The Origin of Species)

Posts: 540 | From: Vernal, UT | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
Tominfla
Geek
Member # 6767

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted June 01, 2007 17:24      Profile for Tominfla     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Next on Oprah... Printer Relationships.

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"Go get that Earth creature and bring back the Uranium Pew36 Space Modulator" -- Marvin Martian

Posts: 245 | From: Orlando, Florida, USA | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
fs

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 1181

Icon 1 posted June 02, 2007 03:23      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I love my HP Laserjet 1018.

Even if I did have to download, make, and install fooz2zjs package, get the right firmware and send it to the printer, and prod cups more than a few times.

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I'm in ur database, makin' moar recordz.

Posts: 1973 | From: The Cat Ship | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Dr Watson
Mini Geek
Member # 4307

Rate Member
Icon 1 posted June 02, 2007 11:27      Profile for Dr Watson     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My HP PSC 1410v has been great, no matter what host OS uses it. But what I find interesting is that it makes a long series of clicking, crackling, snapping noises prior to printing anything. This leads me to believe that there is actually a colony of Lego people inside that disassemble, clean/ rebuild and reassemble all of the mechanical bits with every print! A very nice piece of machine indeed.

(Very much like the live band inside the jukebox on Shining Time Station, if anyone remembers that.)

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Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

Posts: 79 | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
MrJ
Geek-in-Training
Member # 730

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted June 02, 2007 19:17      Profile for MrJ     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Excellent letter!

The Lego people failed to keep the black ink flowing in my Epson Stylus Color 850. I managed to get it working with some ammonia once, but that didn't work the second time. The odd thing is the color always worked, even though I never print color. Too bad it won't make black by mixing the colors. I had to change a document to all blue to print once.

So I replaced it and my old scanner with an HP LaserJet 3055 all-in-one (half price rebate sale). Now that's a printer that prints when you tell it to! No clicking involved, even after waking it from a couple months slumber.

Now my Epson awaits the ultimate fate -- me taking something apart! Maybe if it had printed a butterfly...

I downloaded a service manual for the Epson. There are a whole bunch of cool mechanical operations going on inside there, making clicking noises and such.

Posts: 35 | From: near Grand Rapids, MI | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged


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