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Author Topic: Getting Mad Is Easy To Do
LemonSmuggler
Geek
Member # 7701

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5
Icon 2 posted May 01, 2007 17:48      Profile for LemonSmuggler     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Doesn't it seem to call someone a rude name or two and yell instead of say, "What you did really hurt my feelings and made me feel bad."?

I really don't think yelling is all that helpful. It just makes you feel bad.

I just had a(nother) fight with my brother, well lately it's more of he does something to upset me and I, still angry from previous times that I've yet to forget, just explode in a fit of rude names and a loud voice.

I used to be able to forgive, forget, and move on so easily, but now...there are somethings he has done that I haven't gotten over and I really wish I would.

Focus What fights have you had, or relationships have you been in were you just couldn't forgive and forget but you really wish you could?

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Oy to the vey.

Posts: 182 | From: My pillow/blanket fort that kicks your forts bum | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged
spungo
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1089

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted May 01, 2007 19:06      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Confucious say: he who cannot forgive burns the bridge over which he too must pass.

Peace. Love. Bagels.

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Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2097

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Icon 1 posted May 03, 2007 08:11      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have been pondering this question for a few days.

Not because I hold onto resentments, but because of how an even short lived one can hang heavily on me.

My anger is like a pound of thermite. It burns furiously hot and tried to destroy everything in its path. And usually leaves a black hole where I was. I always wind up regretting those moments. I only have so much heart in me, and every wrong and deceitful decision I have ever made weighs me down.

I am not a very old person, but I think I have been through enough in these years for some insight. And two things I have learned and repeat to myself nearly daily is that

1. I am probably destined to die alone. This isn't as terrible as it sounds. I realize that I am not a person that is meant for certain things in this life. And so sometimes you just accept that fact and move on.

and

2. That I am guaranteed to wake up with only one person for the rest of my days on this planet. Me.

I accept that I may not have the army of friends and family by my side when I shuffle off the mortal coil. Because I have so few of both. But I dont like the idea of those that do remember me, remember in hatred. Or that I die forgotten by everyone. Because that is a fate worse than death.

And two, every day I get to wake up with every decision I have ever made. I get to live with the tings I do. Resentment is something you get to hold all by yourself. As is pain and regret. And no one will carry it for you. And if you try, those people will hand it right back and walk away. Leaving you angrier, more resentful, and more alone than you were before.

I makes mistakes like I make coffee, constantly, and intensely. But at the same time, when I do, I try to rectify it as quickly as I possibly can.

Usually I have to step away from me, and the way I feel, to look at the reasons the other person does what they do. And why. It is one of the most humbling things to ever do. It can make you feel very small. But at the same time, if you do care for the person you tend to understand them more than ever. And many times accept what happens in life and why. Though in the end, only you can make the decision on whether or not what you are doing is worth the price you pay for it.

I'd like to think that in the end I will have less regrets than good memories of my time here.

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Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2465 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
Just_Jess_B

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 2161

Icon 1 posted May 03, 2007 14:25      Profile for Just_Jess_B   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yelling sucks. I should know -- I do it ALL the time. Most of the time, I could whisper or speak through a bullhorn and get the same reaction from my kids: none.

Wintersolstice sees I'm a generally quiet person, save for the mild deafness due to being too darned loud.

As for lifestyles? We create our realities. If a person is alone, it's because that person makes choices. If a person is a serial whateverer (married person, dater), it's because that person makes choices. If a person is married (or S.O.'d) until they die, it's because that person makes choices.

Don't ever blame anyone else for your personal mishaps is my only advice. You'll find the world a nicer place.

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Opinion is not Truth; that is why each has its own definition. Illiteracy sucks.

Posts: 1370 | From: Whaddya mean, Arizona? | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
mistersaxon
Mini Geek
Member # 6816

Member Rated:
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Icon 3 posted May 05, 2007 05:43      Profile for mistersaxon     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I heard wise words on this subject to the effect that if you can close the gap between offense and forgiveness you will be more at peace.

OK, maybe that sounds obvious. Try this to give it some perspective: Forgiveness is not reconciliation, nor denial, nor forgetting and it shouldn't wait for (or expect) repentance or apology. Forgiveness means that you are prepared to bless the person who has offended you and be happy to see them blessed.

You may need help to accomplish this - don't be afraid to ask for it.

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Rich.

Posts: 64 | From: Thame, UK | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged


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