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Author Topic: Dreams...
neotatsu
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2005 17:50      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Is it just me, or do all my posts tend to start here?... *shrug*

Ok, so, here it is... (And, actually, I wish GM were still around, as he might have some particular insight..)

Some of you older forum members might recall a long while back when I posted on the topic of a dream... Then again, it's not too likely, as I'd forgotten about it untill just a few minutes ago.

I've been having some particularly disturbing dreams of late... They tend to very in subject, but, one thing that's always in them, is a figure in black, which defies description... It's always there in some different context, but, it's always there...

It just came to my attention today what it is about that being that was so familliar.. So frightening...

It's haunted my dreams before... For nearly a year, it tortured me... Threatened to take everything I held dear...

Four years later, it's back... I'd forgotten completely about it, untill someone asked me what some of my worst nightmares have been...

It came back to me with a frightening intensity, and made me realize what exactly he/it was doing in my dreams... Taunting me.. In some, it's about an eternal struggle with a vicious creature whose shape constantly changes... In some, it's about trying over and over and over different ways of solving some problem or another, the whole while being threatened with death... A death I come to crave in my dream, but which is then denied me, always kept mere inches, seconds, away..

I'm terrified to sleep...
Walking all night isn't a "healthy" way of dealing with the problem, but, it keeps me awake, alert... Bored, though. And paranoid.. jumping at shadows... running from someone following me, which turns out to be just my shadow cast behind me as well as in front..

*sigh* Saw a psych the other night.. Got prescribed Seraquil for a few reasons...

I hate medications... A particularly interesting site, to me at least...

Sry for the mindless ranting of a sleep deprived mind..

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I'm curious... About what, you ask? EVERYTHING!

Posts: 2239 | From: Western WA | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
csk

Member # 1941

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Icon 1 posted January 12, 2005 19:03      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Actually, back when I was a kid, I had recurring nightmares about the same subject much like you had. Not as scary though, but no fun nevertheless.

Then again, I also ended up being able to lucid dream, possibly from that experience (learnt to pull myself out of dreams). If you develop that, it might help you out in this situation.

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6 weeks to go!

Posts: 4455 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
GameMaster
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted January 13, 2005 05:08      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Gone, but not forgotten... *sniff* But, now I am back.

If the dreams back there are a few things you may want to try:

- Remove mirrors and TV from room if possible. Two reasons, first is that reflections in the mirror can freak you out in the middle of the night which can add to the dream. The second reason is that mirrors are sometimes seen as gateways in myth, as they are a 'tween.

- Drink warm milk before bed, and don't any thing that would increase oddity of dreams.

- Look into programed dreaming. That is trying to focous your thoughts as you fall asleep on a topic of your choice, then with time you should be able to control the general subject of the dream. There should be some things on the web about this.

- Post dream catcher(s), crosses, terquios or dried tabacco on the walls or at least over the bed, and have faith that whatever you do will work.

- Place things that have plesent smells near the bed, and try to make them powerful enough smells that you can smell them in your dream... It'll make having the dream comeback harder, and if it comes back and you smell the whatever fragrence you have arround your bed, then you'll realize your dreaming and you should be able to take control of the dream or be fored awake by the reealization that it is just a dream.

I have some suggestions, but I have to run now or I'll miss my buss.

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My Site

Posts: 3038 | From: State of insanity | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
neotatsu
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted January 13, 2005 13:56      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I thought about the mirror thing last night, actually... At the moment, I havn't my own room, so I have to sleep on the couch, and one of our living room walls is just a giant mirror [ohwell]

Lastnight was a new one, but perfectly understandable where it came from... Pills were being forced down my throat... I despise the thought of being on these medications... Anything that's designed to alter brain chemistry, or disrupt it's normal function, just bothers me..

Actually, I'm usually quite aware that I'm merely dreaming when I'm dreaming... Sometimes, I can control what happens, but never to an extent where I can change the dream from a nightmare into something pleasant. Occasionally I'm able to pull myself out of the dream, but, if I'm not on my meds (which, I stoped taking all but the one I just got the other day a little over a week ago (the dreams started almost three weeks ago)), then I can't sleep the rest of the night... And, if I *am* on meds, then I wind up opening my eyes and being aware of the surroundings, but I start to see parts of the dream world around me, and, before I realize it, I'm dreaming again.

On a positive note, pulling myself out only half way like that creeps people out who see it, because I tend to sleep the rest of the night with my eyes open..

As for programmed dreaming... Most of my dreams are incredibly related to what's going on in my mind before I fall asleep, but, they get twisted... tainted by a being in a black cloak. Sometimes tattered, sometimes like new. Sometimes it's wearing a death-mask, sometimes there's appears to be nothing there but an empty cowl, sometimes with glowing eyes which change colors with it's enjoyment or displeasure in the dream.

The scary bit is I've seen said figure three times now outside of my dreams, which has inspired intense panic attacks which recur if I go anywhere near the place the initial one occured..

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I'm curious... About what, you ask? EVERYTHING!

Posts: 2239 | From: Western WA | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Aditu
SuperBlabberMouth!
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Icon 1 posted January 13, 2005 17:10      Profile for Aditu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I've had the same reoccurring nightmare for 26 years and sometimes wake screaming. So you have my sympathy. It is no fun waking up from them at all. I hope the doctor and some of the other ideas can help you break it.
Posts: 1355 | From: Osten Ard | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
DoctorWho

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Icon 9 posted January 13, 2005 17:38      Profile for DoctorWho     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You have my sympathies.

Forgive me for the amateur shrink evaluation, but I think what you might want to do is take a long hard look at your situation now, and your situation years ago when you first had this reoccuring nightmare. It seems to me there is something in your life that you don't want to face. Maybe you faced this something four years ago, or the problem went away and the dreams stopped. This could be something else, or the same problem you faced is resurfacing. What ever it is, I hope you can figure it out and either find the solution or accept it. Once you do that, the nightmare should stop.

Edit: Another thought just occured to me. I wonder if the dreams are a possible side effect to the medicine. You might want to look into that if you haven't already. Of course since you do resent having to take the medicine in the first place, it could be related to that along with the stress you must be feeling.

Posts: 1694 | From: The TARDIS | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted January 13, 2005 19:24      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have a recurring dream about twin supermodels and a large bottle of baby oil, does that count?

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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ooby
Highlie
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Icon 1 posted January 13, 2005 20:20      Profile for ooby     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think my dreams are very different from most people's dreams, from what i hear.

About a month ago i had a dream where i died. I came back as some sort of ghost like i was just killed in counterstrike.

Also, I've had dreams where I'm running or trying to escape from something life threatening and where normally people tend to get scared, i somehow enjoy it.

But the wierdest dreams i have are short ones involving mundane tasks like filing my taxes or driving to the supermarket on a normal, eventless day.

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"haven't you ever wondered if there's more to life than being really, really, rediculously good looking?"

Posts: 680 | From: South Jersey | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
neotatsu
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted January 14, 2005 12:02      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Alot of my dreams tend to be almost *exactly* what I do the next day, which can be pretty weird when someone else comes up and talks to me at almost precisely the time I dreamt they would...

Anywho, I don't know if it's a reaction to the medicine, but it's possible... Of course, I wasn't on medicine 'back in the day'.

The first time these dreams started happening, I was almost 16, and had already gone through most of the changes which occur during puberty by age 14.

I do give credence to the arguement that it might be something subconcious that I'm repressing, trying not to deal with, but, I have no idea what that something may be.

I often dream what most people would deem a nightmare, but, I actually enjoy it, as opposed to fear it. As such, I usually sleep through it as opposed to waking up. The only reason these dreams are bothering me is the recurring nature of both the beast whom constantly changes (I have a pretty good idea what that represents, based on my emotional state, and the uncertainty of whether or not I'll be fighting this way all my life.), and the being in black... Odd though, that in my dreams he dosn't scare me... It's when I wake up that I'm afraid.

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I'm curious... About what, you ask? EVERYTHING!

Posts: 2239 | From: Western WA | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted January 14, 2005 13:37      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
They say if you die in a dream, you die in real life. That's a wive's tale. I've died in dreams numerous times, and here I am. (At least I think I'm still here. [Wink] )

Aswell, I'm generally put in a GOOD mood by bad dreams. When I awake from a bad dream, the first thought into my little brain is, "wait, all that terrible stuff didn't actually happen?! SWEET!"

And then I go back to sleep.

As for your situation, I know nothing about dreams or what they mean, so I'll leave it at that.

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
DoctorWho

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Icon 1 posted January 14, 2005 15:29      Profile for DoctorWho     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well Neo,

Dream interpretation is inexact at best, but it could be that the reason you can't see a face on the black robed figure is because your subconcious is warning you about something that it perceives as a threat that you don't see on a concious level. Also death in dreams is actually perceived as a victory or attaining closure or a solution. Since you are craving death in your dream, and yet it is always snatched away, it could signify that the solution is right in front of you but just out of reach. Maybe since you can't see the problem the solution is also hidden. Not being able to see the forest for the trees so to speak.

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Laughter is like changing a baby's diapers. It doesn't solve anything but it sure improves the situation. Leo F. Buscaglia

Posts: 1694 | From: The TARDIS | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
neotatsu
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted January 14, 2005 16:55      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The more I think about the possible meanings of the things which recur(sp?) in my dreams, the more I think I know what it is they mean, or represent...

As for the black cloaked figure... I'm begginging to think he represents my fear, in of itself. My fear of everything... But, most specifically, my fear of allowing myself to get close to someone again... Open myself to the possibility of such pain, yet again, with the likelihood being that I'll wind up left alone, yet again...

*shrug* Who knows..

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I'm curious... About what, you ask? EVERYTHING!

Posts: 2239 | From: Western WA | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Twinkle Toes
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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Icon 1 posted January 14, 2005 17:41      Profile for Twinkle Toes   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If that's what he/it really represents, then before we met, who had you let yourself close to that you ended up hurting?

Just a thought: have you ever tried going with the dark figure? Maybe accepting it, like you accept fear, will make it go away.

Also, if you have any of gemstones I gave you, you can try sleeping with the amethyst and carrying the malachite (green) with you during the day.

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Mmmmrreow!

Posts: 1617 | From: a membrane near you! | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
ooby
Highlie
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Icon 1 posted January 14, 2005 21:30      Profile for ooby     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That's insightful, craw. I think there was some closure that occurred around the time that I died in the dream.

My personal take on it was that my dreaming had "leveled up," and I'd be able do dream bigger and better dreams.

I've also had falling dreams where instead of turning into street pizza, I would pass through the floor.

Also, I heard somewhere that a shadowy, threating figure might be some sort of illness, which agrees with crawgator's information.

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"haven't you ever wondered if there's more to life than being really, really, rediculously good looking?"

Posts: 680 | From: South Jersey | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged


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