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Author Topic: My turn to bitch.. (Probably NSFW [some swearing])
drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted December 21, 2004 12:26      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Got a pillow? Good. This is going to be a while....

So things have gotten exponentially worse for me since the breakup of me and the girl I moved here to Ottawa for.

I have avoided talking about the subject or anything that's happened since then, since she did (and might even still) read this website to read up on me.

So, late last September, I broke up with the girl I moved to Ottawa for. We had just rented a townhouse together and everything, but we just weren't working.

The breakup started with her going, "what's wrong?" and with my reply, "we aren't working, and we're not going to."

To give you an idea as to why her and I broke up, here's some examples of dialogue that have actually happened between us:

Me: "You look nice tonight."
Her: "Why are you complimenting me? Did you do something wrong that you're trying to make up for?"

and

Her: "You have to choose. Me or them. I'm not going to date you if you're going to be friends with any of your ex-girlfriends."

Obviously, she had serious trust issues with me. I find that rather mindboggling. I never cheated on her, or even considered it. I treated her like a princess the whole time we were together, and gave her whatever she wanted all the time. Hell, I drove from Kitchener to Ottawa every single weekend from August of 2003 until I moved here in June 2004 for her. That didn't matter.

So anyway, I broke up with her that evening.

At first, she thought I was bluffing, and just got mad at me. I left that night and didn't come home. Then she realised I probably meant it.

So after that came the guilt trip. She'd change her MSN name to, "Alone again, surprise surprise." and go on IRC channels I frequented saying things like, "meh. I'm a horrible person anyway..." At this point in time she was still living at the house. I would come home every morning to shower, change clothes, and
head back out to work. During these times, she'd get up and either:

A) Freak out on me and tell me I'm a horrible person and there's no way I ever loved her.
B) Give me a sob story about how horrible she realised she was and beg me to take her back and give it one last shot.
C) Have a total spaz attack and put tonnes of rather large holes in the walls, as well as break closet doors and handles, etc.

This went on for a little while, until I just stopped coming home. My dog had been driven back to Kitchener to be with my parent's while I wasn't available to care for him, I took most of my clothes with me to a friend's place, and only returned home if I had to.

Next came the violence. (:eek) I returned home one day to do some work for my employer, and the phone rang. Now, 9 times out of 10 when the phone rang, it was for Jess (the ex's name, btw.). This one time, I saw the number on the phone was Marc, a coworker of mine asking about some stuff I was working on. I grabbed the phone before she could, being that I recognised the incoming phone number, and begun to have a conversation with Marc.

She instantly assumed this meant I was talking to "my new whore". So while I'm trying to use the phone, she's standing there going,

"I can't believe you already have your new fucking whore calling the house. Real fucking sweet. Asshole."

I just ignore her, and continue on my phone call, (that if you listened to, and heard me mentioning various servers and internet links, would make it blatantly obvious I wasn't talking to any "new whore").

So I'm standing there in the kitchen, phone in my right hand, and a can of Pepsi in my left. She flings the door open, hitting me in the arm, covering myself in Pepsi. She notices what she does, and gives an indignant, "oops!". I look at myself, look at the Pepsi, look at her, and then spill Pepsi on her intentionally and go, "oops!" just like she did to me.

She snapped. She came at me. At first I laughed at her while she kicked, punched, kneed, etc at me, because she wasn't hurting me, and I thought it was rather humourous. Then she hit my elbow, knocking the phone out of my hand. She picks it up off the floor by its cord and swings it against the wall as hard as she possibly can, smashing the phone into about 5 pieces, and denting the wall. I look at her and tell her she's friggen nuts. She comes at me again. I do nothing more than block her attacks and protect the family jewels, since she's obviously doing the best she can to knee me there. After a minute or two of this and me continually telling her to stop, I grab her wrists, and pin her against the stove. I say calmly to her, "Jess. I'm going to let you go. I want to walk away from this. Can I walk away safely?" She flips out, "let the fuck go of me you piece of fucking shit, fuck off" and she tries to bite me. I let go of her and back away, and she comes at me again. This repeats another 3 or so times, each time I remind her that she's not succeeding in hurting me, and that she needs to walk away, and that's all I'm interested in doing. The 4th or 5th time, I push her towards the dining room with her wrists and say, "enough. walk away now." (and no, I didn't even push her hard, she walked away without falling over or anything).

So anyway, she calls her father followed by the police shortly thereafter, speaking of how badly I hurt her (somehow), and has them come over.

I patiently wait for all of them to arrive.

Her father shows up first, and starts exclaiming how he's "seen my temper" and "knows how bad it is." This is news to me, since I have excellent control of my temper, and the last time I lost my temper was in about 1999 when I broke my car's windshield with my fist. I've only known this man since 2003. I calmly say to him, "she's your daughter, you're her dad, it's your job to be here to protect her, so I have nothing to say to you." He just stands there and comforts her while she bawls her eyes out.

The cops show up and (to my amazement) she tells them the truth about how I acted during all of this. The officer says, "you realise how the law works in Ontario regarding domestic disputes, right?" I say, "yes, I do. it's not up to her or I as to whether anyone gets charged, it's entirely up to you." The cop says, "that's absolutely right. with that in mind, what do you want to do?" -- The officer was leaving it up to me whether or not I had her charged. I simply said, "I'm not hurt, there's no point, I'm leaving now." He said, "ok. Fair enough." He then gave her a little talking to about coping with her anger and seeing a doctor if necessary about it and left. As did I.

Two mornings later, I return home again before work to simply get a change of clothes and shower. At this point, she's coming on MSN hourly telling me she's going to kill herself and the only way to make it better is to take her back. Of course, I'm not going to do this, as I'm completely uninterested in her. Anyway, this particular morning, she tells me she'll be dead when I get home from work. I'm not going to deal with this, so I simply call up the police and have them take her to a hospital for psych evaluation, and off to work I go.

Over the next few days, she continually MSNs me saying, "I'm not going to do it now, but one day soon I'll make this hurt go away and you won't miss me and no one will". At this point in time, I've stopped caring. She's nothing to me, and has become nothing more than a very distinct lesson to be learned in my life.

Anyway, one day, she asks me if I'm seeing someone new. I tell her I am, and apparently, that is the key to make her go away. She stops messaging.

This is where the fun starts...

Now.. I tell the landlord I'd like to move out on November 1st, since I gave notice right when I broke up with her at the end of September. The landlord says "no, you're in a lease. Honour it." So I file the paperwork with the housing tribunal on the grounds that I don't have any use for the place, since the EMI makes the place absolutely unlivable.

After the whole suicidal tendencies episode, she'd been moved to her mother's, and was no longer staying at the house. I did the landlord fighting thing by myself.

I keep e-mailing Jess nicely asking that she pay me the money she owes me.

Rent & Bills for the month of Oct. ($550)
About $200 I lent her to buy books on eBay.
About $75 in stuff at Canadian Tire to repair the damage she did to the house.
$35 I lent her one day shortly before the breakup.

Eventually, she sends me a long-winded nasty e-mail saying that I should "quit begging her for money" and that she never loved me, and always thought I was rancid, and I never showered or brushed my teeth, and I was so fat I can't tie my shoes, and all kinds of (rather humourous) and ludicrous claims. In the e-mail, she says that I can just "call it even" on the money she owes me for all the times I stayed at her parent's on the weekends when I drove to Ottawa.

This I find rather humourous, because the time I spent at her parent's, they wouldn't let me pay them for visiting, so I always stuck 20 dollar bills in her Dad's wallet when he wasn't around, bought food, helped clean, did a brake job on his car and paid for the parts, etc. He always said he was happy to have me there, and her mother wouldn't let me go anywhere else. Besides, she should know as well as anyone else you can't use previous gifts as payment for present debts. It just doesn't work that way.

I ignored her e-mail, because an e-mail as humourous as that one deserves to be posted above the office watercooler, not responded to.

Shortly after this e-mail, some of her stuff was still at my house. Including her piano. Her mother made the arrangements to have a piano mover come in and move it. In the process, the piano movers left (about) a 2' long scratch in the floor. I e-mailed Jess and simply told her that if the landlord was to complain about it, they would be given her forwarding address and told to go visit her for reimbursement for any such thing.

She e-mailed me back and said that if I gave her information to anyone, she'd sue the shit out of me. All this time, I thought a (third year) criminology student would understand that the law says it's perfectly legal to give that kind of information if I know it to someone she owes a legal debt to, and especially if that information is freely available in the friggen phone book.

Anyway, I sent her one last long e-mail that basically said (in a nutshell)

"You of all people should understand the law regarding owed debts. Aswell, providing your information to the landlord for any balance owed in the future is perfectly legal, and I will be doing so if they ask. Good riddance."

I CC'd it to her father, her sister, and her grandma (just like she did when e-mailing me).

In the e-mail, I also told her she had 3 days to get the rest of her stuff out or the locks would be changed, and her stuff would be disposed of.

She didn't, I changed the locks, and disposed of her stuff.

So onto the landlord we go....

At the tribunal, despite the house being absolutely useless and unfit for anyone to live in as far as I'm concerned, the tribunal ruled in the landlord's favour, stating that the landlord had done nothing illegal or unsafe, and as such, I had to honour my lease with the landlord.

This leaves me with a monthly rent of $1098 that I simply cannot afford by myself. As such, I've started to fall into a nasty debt really fast -- my insurance payments are bouncing, I can't afford to buy food after I pay my bills, etc.

As such, this Christmas is sucking pretty hard. I'm pondering the idea of vanishing on the landlord and letting them sue me in the future for it, since I can't do anything else. I've also contacted the province, and suing Jess isn't entirely out of the picture. (Actually, it's looking like a rather attractive option right now.) Aswell, if the landlord sues me for breaking the lease and leaving early, they sue for what I owe remaining on the lease, but they have to split if 50/50 between Jess and I for the outstanding amount of the lease.

So anyway, there's the story of my life for the last 3 months.

Although, there is one upside. My new girlfriend. (And yes, trust me, I'm taking it slow with this one. :S) She's beautiful, fun, interesting, smart, and
NOT PSYCHOTIC (which is always a plus.) She has a 3 year old son, which the thought of always creeped me out in the past, but he's a good kid, and I am cool with that. Nothing serious between her and I yet really, we're just enjoying eachother's company. She's a sweetheart.

So financially, I'm currently fucked big time.

Fortunately, I'm an optimist. I'm sure I'll come out of this on the plus side of things.

(If you're still here, I'm impressed.)

Thanks for reading my rant.. I needed to get it out somewhere.

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
Black Widow
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Icon 1 posted December 21, 2004 12:51      Profile for Black Widow     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Uhm...wow...that really sucks. I'm sorry you are having to go through all this. It does sound like you are doing things right though. And good luck with the new sweetie!
Posts: 931 | From: Missouri | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged
Snaggy

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Icon 9 posted December 21, 2004 13:07      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
whoa. Sorry to hear all this, ... glad the violence stopped pretty quick.

The good news is you didn't marry her. [ohwell]

Hmm, maybe you can tell your landlord you'll be setting up hydroponics in every room since you've discovered plants thrive on the EMI. [evil]

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Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted December 21, 2004 13:24      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Now I understand your penchant for hitting women (just kidding)

Seriously though, you did the right thing gtting away from her, but I would have charged her that night she snapped. At least it is documented with tthe cops even if the charges are dropped. Additionally, she and her family may understand the seriousness of her actions. She will just move on to the next schmuck and ruin his life, she needs to learn a had lesson and having you and her family protecting her will do absolutly no good to her in the long run.


As far as the lease deal I was in a similar situation in Toronto. I staged several 'lease breaking parties' loud music, lots of drunk people into the wee hours....on week nights. I made it clear to my neighbours exactly what I was doing and even provided my landlords telephone number.

I also called him several times in the middle of the night to discuss 'maintanance issues' and things that need to be fixed around the house.

Within 2 and a half weeks he caved and evicted me. Use your self proclaimed assholeness to your advantage, you'll be surprised how quick it works

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(!) (T) = 8-D

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TMBWITW,PB

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Icon 1 posted December 21, 2004 13:26      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Wow. That makes the drama I went through with my last boyfriend's family look like a picnic. It's a picnic where ants ruin all the food, the sodas explode and it starts to rain, but still much better than everything you went through! Breaking off contact is the best thing you could do, I'm sorry you're getting stuck with all this other mess. When it rains, it pours.

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"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
óMiss Piggy

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Stereo

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Icon 1 posted December 21, 2004 13:27      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by drunkennewfiemidget:
Thanks for reading my rant.. I needed to get it out somewhere.

No problem. I can go on a rant for a lot less than that.

I'm sorry it turned out that bad, and hope it will turn out better.

If I may... Go back to your landlord (one to one conversation) and explain your financial situation this way: you're now alone to pay the rent, and that's too much for you. It could leads you to bankrupcy, and that means he'll get no more money from you - at all. Why not settle for either a lesser rent, a shorter lease, something.

It may work, it may not. It's just an idea.

[This part edited out - it may be too early to talk about bankrupcy as an option.]

Good luck, and don't hesitate to rant some more if you need to!

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Eppur, si muove!

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Aditu
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Icon 1 posted December 21, 2004 13:47      Profile for Aditu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"Why not settle for either a lesser rent, a shorter lease, something."

Maybe you can work out an installment plan. Do they have consumer credit counseling up in Canada? Not the consodidate your debt TV scam stuff, but a nonprofit that helps. Sometimes they can act as mediators and help set up a plan. Our local service is a member of this group NFCC.
They might be able to direct you to a legitimate service in Canada.

Glad at least your personal life is on track

Posts: 1355 | From: Osten Ard | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
MTB Babe
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Icon 12 posted December 21, 2004 14:08      Profile for MTB Babe   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh wow I'm so sorry to hear about what happened!! But many congrats on the new love!! Don't let what has happened weigh on your mind. You have so much to look forward to! Good luck with all the legal stuff [crazy] [Razz]

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Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ee-ana-jaad. Nayanajaad.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted December 21, 2004 15:31      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thanks guys. Actually, I have tried talking to the landlord about it. It's a large company, so they're not interestedin compassion.

During my bus drive home today, however, I decided on what I'm doing about the lease. I'm going to stop paying. Period. They'll evict me, I'll pay them up so that I owe nothing outstanding, and be on my way.

I've placed an ad in the paper to try and assign the lease, but that failed. I've given them full permission to go in the unit at any time they want to paint the place and do other repairs its needed since before I moved in. The few people who came to see the place when I was trying to rent it out were visibly unimpressed with the condition of the walls that needed to be painted.

I can afford the rent -- barely. But like I said, I couldn afford food beyond that. So I'll stop paying and just bank the money. Wait until they evict me, and then pay it up so I owe nothing, and walk away.

Thanks for all your kind words though.

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted December 21, 2004 15:35      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
Now I understand your penchant for hitting women (just kidding)

I knew you'd say that as I typed it. [Razz]

quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:

Seriously though, you did the right thing gtting away from her, but I would have charged her that night she snapped. At least it is documented with tthe cops even if the charges are dropped. Additionally, she and her family may understand the seriousness of her actions. She will just move on to the next schmuck and ruin his life, she needs to learn a had lesson and having you and her family protecting her will do absolutly no good to her in the long run.

In retrospect, I realise that's exactly what I should have done. Hindsight is always 20/20.

quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
As far as the lease deal I was in a similar situation in Toronto. I staged several 'lease breaking parties' loud music, lots of drunk people into the wee hours....on week nights. I made it clear to my neighbours exactly what I was doing and even provided my landlords telephone number.

Unfortunately, they're a large company, so that would prove ineffective. However, read my last post for my new solution. [Big Grin]
Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
sconzey
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Icon 1 posted December 21, 2004 16:39      Profile for sconzey     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That really sucks. I wish I could offer some advice but I've never had (nor do I wish to have) any similar experiences.

Good luck with the new love. [Smile] It'll all be okay in the end.

Posts: 490 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
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Icon 1 posted December 21, 2004 17:39      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by drunkennewfiemidget:
Unfortunately, they're a large company, so that would prove ineffective. However, read my last post for my new solution. [Big Grin]

DNM, Vic has a very good idea. Large company or not. 3:00 a.m. burn outs are not easily tolerated. Get those tires warmed up. Invite some bikers over to have a few drinks and test out their pipes at midnight. Don't you have a nice high watt stereo? Test out your new subs.

Trust me it would be a lot more entertaining to get kicked out for disturbance than to have an eviction on your credit report.
[Big Grin]

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Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2463 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted December 21, 2004 19:59      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Evictions aren't registered against your credit if you pay it all off and don't have any judgements placed against you.

Similarily, if they were, getting evicted for noise wouldn't help any.

And on another note, I'm sure they'd just sick the by-law enforcement wanna be cops on me instead of evicting me.

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted December 21, 2004 21:02      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That sucks, man. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this mess. :-/ At least you're rid of her. [Smile] Good luck getting out of the current place. Can you rent it out to bored college (uni.) kids? (For short stints/parties/.../etc., not necessarily extended periods of time.) I'm sure they can help your cause. [Big Grin]

/me listens to the ultra cheerful music:
/music/gripped/the_beatles/1/eleanor_rigby.ogg

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted December 21, 2004 21:09      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That sucks DNM.

Women !

Can't live with 'em, can't get 'em to dress up in little black leather nazi stormtrooper outfits.

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted December 21, 2004 21:45      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:

Women !

Can't live with 'em, can't get 'em to dress up in little black leather nazi stormtrooper outfits.

Damn crying shame, man.

*That* would make for an interesting evening. [Razz]
I'll stick with my friend's succint "Girls are evil" comment. [Big Grin] (There are exceptions, of course... *whistles innocently towards the GC female population*)

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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Twinkle Toes
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Icon 3 posted December 22, 2004 00:29      Profile for Twinkle Toes   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
[Frown] ... You had me gasping and say "oh no!" through that whole thing [Razz] . But it's good to let it out... feel free to do so any time. You're much better at it than I am, heh. 8^/

Your troubles with paying rent remind me of my ex-boyfriend's. He had rented out a place and was sharing it with his cousin but couldn't keep up with his end of the bargain due to unemployment. From there he moved to relatives' houses but ended up having to move to his parents' house in California because of his "ailments". I'm glad you've found a much better solution to resort to, though.

quote:
Originally posted by DNM:
I've also contacted the province, and suing Jess isn't entirely out of the picture. (Actually, it's looking like a rather attractive option right now.)

I agree with the Cap'n, I would've put than plan into action the day she 'snapped'. Go for it.

I'm so sorry you've had such a rough time, DNM. Luckily you've the gift of Optimism, a seemingly uncommon characteristic among people these days. That crazy loon obviously didn't deserve you... you sound like such a sweet guy! Happiness to your developing relationship with the new girl!

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Serenak

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Icon 11 posted December 22, 2004 18:04      Profile for Serenak     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh wow

DNM you are getting it rough...

I've done relationship breakup etc but I've never had it that rough (although I never shared rent etc., for reasons I won't bore you all with I always covered that on my own)

Get some legal advice (here in UK you can get basic advice free from Citizens' Advice - don't know if similar is available to you).

Same goes for debt counselling... Got a lot of crap off my back in the past through the little known Consumer Credit Counselling Service... (a UK charity paid for by - wait for it - banks, credit card companies and other lenders...) They don't obliterate the debt, just help you negotiate a sensible recovery plan... And if that means $5 a month they'll talk you through how to get that...

I know that may not be available to you but somethig similar probably is... find it.... it will be worth the effort (I would never have known except the father of an accqaintance of mine pointed me to them...)

Good Luck

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"So if you want my address - it's No. 1 at the end of the bar, where I sit with the broken angels, clutching at straws and nursing my scars..."

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Icon 1 posted December 22, 2004 18:44      Profile for Luke Skywalker     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, It sounds like you are doing everything possible.

Honestly, I would seriously consider court to get back the money she owes you. In my opinion, you have about a surefire case. Just make sure you have papers to show what all she owes you (credit card statements are a good thing, and rent stubs).

Good Luck for the new one and I hope it works out.

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Use the Force, Luke.

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californiarockr
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Icon 1 posted December 22, 2004 21:03      Profile for californiarockr     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
read it all, too lazy to read teh replies, but best of luck man... hope it all turns out alright

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lol

Posts: 361 | From: guess... :/ | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged
garlicguy

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Icon 7 posted December 25, 2004 09:25      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
[Beard of Peter Gabriel!] Howdy. That is some rant. Brings to mind a couple of things:
Clouds and silver linings being right at the top of the list.
The financial aspect is tough; the emotional gut-wrench is probably tougher. The others here are right to say that you are well rid of this situation. But you already know all that.
A bit of different perspective (aka - advice) [which btw is always worth exactly what I charge for it] is to point out that, as obviously messed up as ol' Jess is, she probably didn't ask to get that way, and probably also doesn't really enjoy her own company, her own life, etc. In the long term, you'll end up a much happier fellow sans bitterness if you can keep from hating her for all the trouble she has caused you and is likely to continue causing for a while yet...
FWIW

Oh yeah. I almost forgot. Merry Christmas.

Keith

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
HaloNine
Geek Larva
Member # 3138

Icon 1 posted December 27, 2004 10:08      Profile for HaloNine         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Jeezes...that's pretty shitty. What doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger, I spose...but...yea...what everyone else already said.

Being a young mom myself with an almost 2 year old son..I know that thought can sometimes freak guys out, but you really shouldn't let it get to you. If anything it should be somewhat of a plus because atleast you know she's filled with kindness, compassion and all sorts of tenderness. Goodluck with the new love and her son [Smile]

Posts: 27 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted March 14, 2005 10:28      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I realise I'm badly necroposting, but I figured I'd give you all an update on my life should you care to read it, and this would be the best place, so you can refresh your memory about the psycho ex, etc. [Smile]

So it's been about 3 months since I posted the original rant.

Things got worse for me from there. And oddly enough, it had nothing to do with the psycho ex.

As for her, I got one e-mail from her since the last "you smell" e-mail, and it basically told me how her life was going, and how she was screwing a few random guys from work for fun -- as if I was some long lost friend she needed to give an update.

I deleted it since she means less than toejam to me now.

Over the next 3 months, I ended up having to give my dog up after he bit someone while I was walking him in January. As it turned out, the dog was just a good judge of character, because the guy was an asshole. That dog was my boy. I was so proud of him. I'd taught him everything.. when I got him, he didn't even know how to handle being around humans, how to use stairs, how to go outside to use the can, or anything. He had NEVER bit anyone in his life. Ever. He just walked up and bit this guy on the hand. As I said before, the guy was an ass, and the dog was just a good judge of character.

My debt got pretty stupidly large due to the townhouse I couldn't afford. I paid 3 times to put it in the paper to get someone else to take my lease, (at $70 a pop), and finally found someone that wanted it. I put the paperwork through to the landlord, and they never got back to me. I even tried to be nice to them, I enclosed a letter that said, "we'll work out the details, all you need to do is say yes.". I called them that night and said, "I know you already have an application in, and I'm assuming all is well, but I still have 3 people who want to see the place. Would you like me to direct them to you, or would you like me to show them my unit, and tell them you have others available, or tell them to go away?"

Even nicer than I needed to be. The lady called me back the next day, and her response was basically,

"I would suggest you keep looking at your place, because at face value, this application isn't looking good, however, I will let you know."

Does that sound like a definitive no to you? Me either.

Anyway, I found this nice little blurb on the Ontario Tenant Protection Act:

Particularly, Section 17, paragraph 4, subsection d It reads:

(4) A tenant may give the landlord a notice of termination under section 48 within 30 days after the date a request is made if,
(d) the tenant asks the landlord to consent to an assignment of the rental unit to a potential assignee and the landlord does not respond within seven days after the request is made.

For those who are curious, section 48 says I can give the lesser of 30 days, or the normal amount of days required to terminate a tenancy regardless of the lease in this situation.

Anyway, I waited the requisite 7 days after I made the request, and at 12:04am the following day, dropped off a letter, telling them (and this was on Feb 15th), that I would be leaving April 1st. (Again, being much nicer than I needed to be, I could have said I'd be out Mar 14th.)

The lady called the next day and left me a voicemail that was something along the lines of,

"I realise you're in a bad situation, and you're looking for any loophole you can find in the tenant protection act to get out of your obligation, however, you're barking up the wrong tree. I am familiar with that particular section of the TPA, and that's not what it means."

Of course, she was bluffing because she was mad, and hadn't actually read the TPA, because that day, I came home from work to find a note in my mailbox that said, "I already gave you an answer the day after you put in the application." Of course, she was referring to the "it's not looking good."

I presume at that point she had actually taken the time to break out the TPA and read it, and realise I was actually correct.

She also made reference to, "we gave you permission to assign your lease back in november, and that right was never taken away."

But, if you read the actual TPA, it's there in plain english, "IF THE LANDLORD DOES NOT RESPOND WITHIN SEVEN DAYS AFTER THE REQUEST IS MADE."

What the landlord had said up until that point was irrelevant.

Anyway, I moved out March 4th, and dropped off the keys at their drop box along with a letter saying, (again, too nice) that I agreed to pay the rent up until March 31st as I originally stated in my letter, but it would take some time, as I obviously don't have it right now.

I also told them they were more than welcome to rent the unit out to potential tenants effective immediately, and at my expense, by not charging them for the remainder of the month of March.

Worst case scenario is they take me to court over this, and somehow prove that I was the one in the wrong, and sue me for the remaining 3 months of the lease. Then they'd have to go after the psycho hosebeast of an exgf of mine, and then I'd owe one half of it. If that were to happen, I'd definitely put through the paperwork to sue her for the money she owes me, and I'd come out on top anyway.

So anyway, on to the good news.

I moved March 4th into my new place. It's nicer, it's cheaper, and I love it! It's right near Brittania beach here in Ottawa, which means I can walk to the beach on the River. It's a 3br apartment on the upper floor of a duplex. The landlord is AWESOME. He didn't require an application. He didn't require a last month's deposit. He didn't require a lease, and he let me have March 4th until March 31st free! I talked to the neighbour downstairs, and they say they love him. He actually does stuff when he says he does, he mows the lawn for us, he gets a plow to shovel the driveway, and he's really easy going.

With this move, I also moved in with my new girlfriend and her son. For the first time in many years, I'm with a woman I truly love and actually makes me happy. I've been stupid in my last few relationships, and just figured I was being superficial, and dated girls I wasn't really truly happy with (psycho ex included). This time, I'm with someone who's beautiful, makes me happy, wants to be with me, and I can actually see myself spending the rest of my life with. [Eek!]

Her ex-bf is turning out to be a bit of a psycho too, being the father of her son and all, and that's been a bit of a PITA, but he can go piss up a rope as far as I'm concerned, he's a miserable failure of a human being and of a father, and well.. screw him. [Smile]

So, all in all, things have gotten better. I'm happy, and my financial situation is getting better. Very slowly, but it is at least going in the right direction.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

*EDIT* Oh yea, and I've booked holiday time with my work, and my parents and my sister and I will be driving out to NF for 3 weeks in July, so I'm lookin' forward to that too. [Big Grin]

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

Member # 1477

Icon 1 posted March 14, 2005 11:44      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'd tell your ex landlord to piss up a rope also.

Think of all the money they will have to spend to take you to court, I hardly think it is worth it. Even if they do win there is no guarantee you can pay. I bet they are just strong arming you in hopes you will give them any amount of money.

Good luck.

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(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Footsie
Geek-in-Training
Member # 3444

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Icon 1 posted March 14, 2005 11:44      Profile for Footsie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Very pleased to hear things are looking up . Its great when it goes well . But a pile off old poop when it all goes south if you know what I mean. Been there and back many times but now very happy get married in July to an all round good guy. got two kids own home car not alot off spare cash but getting better in time . All the best to you now and for the future xxxxxx [thumbsup] [thumbsup] [Big Grin]

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Here today... Gone tomorrow?

Posts: 33 | From: smelly foot farm | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged


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