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Author Topic: Well that was fun...
drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted September 29, 2004 08:02      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm single now.

I did it. Broke up with her. I wasn't happy. I love her dearly, and I wish it'd have worked, but I just wasn't happy. We fought a lot. We just don't belong together. It's too bad, and it's upsetting, but it's for the better.

I'll have to make an attempt to break my lease at the place I'm currently at, or see if they have any apartments available I can move into, there's no way I can keep the current place by myself, as I'd have $0 at the end of the day to buy things like food, etc. That would be bad.

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

Member # 1477

Icon 1 posted September 29, 2004 08:45      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, I'll offer up my standard advice. Go get drunk and wake up with a strange woman...

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(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
ooby
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Icon 1 posted September 29, 2004 08:56      Profile for ooby     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
Well, I'll offer up my standard advice. Go get drunk and wake up with a strange woman...

Yeah, live up to your name [Wink]

--------------------
"haven't you ever wondered if there's more to life than being really, really, rediculously good looking?"

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Stibbons
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Icon 1 posted September 29, 2004 09:07      Profile for Stibbons   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
Well, I'll offer up my standard advice. Go get drunk and wake up with a strange woman...

Believe me, Vic is the best for advice in this kind of situation [Wink]

I feel your pain dnm, though the money business is a bit of a bummer to deal with on top of it all. Hope it gets resolved quickly.

Posts: 1143 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted September 29, 2004 09:15      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by ooby:
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
Well, I'll offer up my standard advice. Go get drunk and wake up with a strange woman...

Yeah, live up to your name [Wink]
By strange I didn't mean a midget, but hey, what ever turns your crank. Plus there are *ahem* advantages to midget sex that I won't get into here.

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(!) (T) = 8-D

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Stereo

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Icon 1 posted September 29, 2004 09:17      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sorry to hear about that, Newf. I can only wish it will turn out for the best.

On a brighter (or is that less dark?) side, maybe you should take a look at the Gatineau side of Ottawa area's renting market. The lower rent may make up for the higher taxes.

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Eppur, si muove!

Galileo Galilei

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drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted September 29, 2004 09:23      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Don't let the nickname fool you.

I actually don't drink any alcohol. At all.

I'll be fine though. It's a bit of a pain, but it'll be for the better -- for both of us -- I guarantee it.

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
Mac D
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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Icon 1 posted September 29, 2004 09:32      Profile for Mac D     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You could find someone on the internet. It's fun I met my wife off of Lavalife When I met her she could barly use a computer a friend had to show her how to use the site. Now she is ver proficiant with a computer and can even do HTML. She loves making web pages. I let her help assemble her computer and she was like "Thats it? I thought it was going to take a week and we would need special tools" Now she wants to build her own. She is shaping up to be a preatty good geek. And they say women try to change men.

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There's nothing wrong with me, This is how I'm supposed to be.

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ooby
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Icon 1 posted September 29, 2004 09:42      Profile for ooby     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Stibbons:
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
Well, I'll offer up my standard advice. Go get drunk and wake up with a strange woman...

Believe me, Vic is the best for advice in this kind of situation [Wink]


He's Pre-med.
</animal house>

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"haven't you ever wondered if there's more to life than being really, really, rediculously good looking?"

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted September 29, 2004 09:46      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
Plus there are *ahem* advantages to midget sex that I won't get into here.

Just be careful with the old soixante-neuf, he says, rubbing his sore neck.
Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted September 29, 2004 09:47      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by drunkennewfiemidget:
Don't let the nickname fool you.

I actually don't drink any alcohol. At all.

Now is the perfect time to start!

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(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Snaggy

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Icon 9 posted September 29, 2004 16:47      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sorry to hear of your break-up, but thems the breaks I guess. Sounds like you did the right thing, ... breaking up can take a lot of courage.

Good luck with your new life!


-----
psssst .... attention all geekettes... he's single! [Razz]

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SimpleMan
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Icon 11 posted September 30, 2004 05:24      Profile for SimpleMan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My friend, I am sorry to hear about what happened. I do not drink either...whats the point in it? You pay $$$ to feel bad the next day, DOH. Anywho...just like you said things will all work themselves out and yes I know that a breakup can be hard because after all we are human and emotional. Look at it this way, if she could not see all the value, worth, the person that you really are....and not value it, then she is not worthy of you. [Smile] My fiance is my best friend. I have known her for 6 years now and we recently got engaged. She & I do not fight, fuss, and argue but we still have our little moments of mis-understanding but hey that will happen when you have two different people. I do wish you the very best and also in this case do what is right for you. I hope that you can find the right person for you and "click" like my fiance & I do. Six years of close friendship has turned into a soon to be married situation....and yes she is a GEEK like I am. [Big Grin]
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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted September 30, 2004 07:08      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yea. It's difficult. Very difficult. I've already lost 4lbs since it happened, simply because I'm not eating.

I'm trying to be kind of cold with her and show no emotion. I know her and I being apart is for the better, and if I can make her hate me, I figure it'll be easier for her.

I do love her, and leaving her sucks, but as I've repeated way too many times now, it's better that way.

Anyway, thanks for all your kind words. Fortunately, I'm a strong individual, so I'm fine above all else.

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ooby
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Icon 2 posted September 30, 2004 13:52      Profile for ooby     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
not eating? No es bueno.

--------------------
"haven't you ever wondered if there's more to life than being really, really, rediculously good looking?"

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Bibo
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Icon 1 posted September 30, 2004 14:24      Profile for Bibo   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I understand where you are coming from. I was with the wrong person for over 12 years. We were even engaged when I broke it off (although she didn't want to get married). To make things worse she did not move out for over 3 months after the split.

It was hard on both of us but better in the end. I have not spoken with her since the breakup so I have no clue as to how she is doing these days. Hopefully she got some professional help and some good meds, as she was a paranoid schizophrenic. Seriously, and I was her enabler. But she refused help and her mother would not acknowledge there was a problem. I discovered this about 2 years into the relationship, but I was young and though it was just bad PMS. After 10 years of this I could not take it any longer.

I've been married for over 4 years now and so glad I ended the other relationship.

So hang in there! Oh and avoid the sympathy the f*ck, it will only make this worse!

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csk

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Icon 1 posted September 30, 2004 15:18      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
Plus there are *ahem* advantages to midget sex that I won't get into here.

You know, with that missing comma between sex and that, I'm wondering if you're getting into midget sex somewhere else [Wink]

dnm, Hope you're coping OK in a difficult time. Sounds to me like you made the right decision. Good luck in working out how to keep that emotional distance, and when you work out the right answer, let me know, since I'm trying to work out the same thing. Mind you, it's a bit trickier in my case with a child involved, but anyway...

Incidentally, Bibo's post raised something I've been pondering over the last little while. Is there such a thing as a "right person" for you? Up until earlier this year I would have said that as long as two people were reasonably compatible, and both willing to work at the relationship, then they could make it work. I probably would have gone so far as to say that the "right person" concept is sometimes used as a justification when relationships go wrong (ie, it didn't work, because they were the "wrong person"). Now, I'm not so sure, what are people's thoughts? (sorry if this is a threadjack, dnm, but it seems related to me).

--------------------
6 weeks to go!

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MTB Babe
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Icon 3 posted September 30, 2004 21:05      Profile for MTB Babe   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Congratulations on following through on a difficult decision. It will work out for the best I'm sure.

--------------------
Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ee-ana-jaad. Nayanajaad.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

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greycat

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Icon 1 posted October 01, 2004 06:09      Profile for greycat   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't know whether there is such a thing as "the right person". But there is most definitely a wrong person. In fact, there are lots of them.

quote:
I'm trying to be kind of cold with her and show no emotion.
I think the first problem is that you continue to talk to her at all. At this point, my own personal inclination would be to get the hell away from anywhere she's likely to be. I wouldn't be able to handle conversation with her for at least a week, probably longer.

Can you take a vacation for a week or two? Get away, go hiking in the woods, visit another country, whatever it takes.

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted October 01, 2004 07:34      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
She lives at the same house as me, so getting away isn't possible, but I have been staying at a friend's place elsewhere for some time, and other than this weekend, when he's out of town, I'll probably continue to stay there for some time.

As for the threadjack, yes, I still firmly believe there is a 'right' person for everyone. I don't know about the 'soulmate one specific person for everyone' thing anymore, but I do believe that certain people only have certain other people who are 'right' for them.

No matter how much two people love eachother, and no matter how hard they try to make it work, there comes a point when you have to realise that it's just not going to work, and you cannot be happy with this person for the rest of your life the way you should be able to. That's what happened between her and I.

And it's not really a threadjack, I do believe it's very related. [Big Grin]

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skylar
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Icon 1 posted October 01, 2004 11:22      Profile for skylar     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Y'know, single life is really underrated. Singledom is a great time to re-appreciate your friends and expand your horizons - open up your life and stop thinking within the limitations that someone else imposed on you.

There's also something really cathartic and soothing about allowing yourself to be absolutely fscking miserable for a while... or is that just me?

*goes off to listen to angry girl music*

--------------------
"arm, aber geeky"

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Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted October 01, 2004 11:58      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Y'know. It is the 'grass is greener' thing. You always want what you don't have. If you're single enjoy it, don't get too serious with anyone....play the field. JFK's dad told him (and I am paraphrasing) never turn down a piece of tail. I lived like that before I got old and married. It was lots of fun.

Skylie....I can't belive a smart, cute girl like you is single. If I was half my age, lived in the UK, and was into Greek (the language [Eek!] mind out of the gutter folks) I'd be chasing you all over the countryside.

--------------------
(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Stereo

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Icon 1 posted October 01, 2004 13:22      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Capt'n, you will find out a lot of geekettes are single. Here is my theory: we are too smart for the average Joe (jock?) so we scare them away; and we are too smart and proud to give in to desperation, so shy guys are scared by our self-confidence.

But I'll agree with Skylar, being single can be great. Now, if I had some friends I could casually go out with... (Hey Newf, Bob Walsh is coming at the Casino this December, so if you like the blues... [Big Grin] )

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Eppur, si muove!

Galileo Galilei

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csk

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Icon 1 posted October 01, 2004 15:53      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by skylar:
Y'know, single life is really underrated. Singledom is a great time to re-appreciate your friends and expand your horizons - open up your life and stop thinking within the limitations that someone else imposed on you.

There's also something really cathartic and soothing about allowing yourself to be absolutely fscking miserable for a while... or is that just me?

No, it's not just you. For me, anyway, I think I felt and feel that way because I attempted to change myself too much to make the relationship work. Thus reestablishing identity becomes a simultaneously frightening and exhilarating experience.

Not that I don't miss being in a relationship, as I was reminded while my wife rang in the middle of composing this post.

--------------------
6 weeks to go!

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MTB Babe
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Icon 9 posted October 01, 2004 19:34      Profile for MTB Babe   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
But I'll agree with Skylar, being single can be great. Now, if I had some friends I could casually go out with...
I'm right there with you.. [ohwell]

--------------------
Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ee-ana-jaad. Nayanajaad.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

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