homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam

The Geek Culture Forums


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | | search | faq | forum home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Geek Culture Forums   » News, Reviews, Views!   » Our stupid lives   » The inevitable update (with 20% more whining) (Page 1)

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!  
This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2 
 
Author Topic: The inevitable update (with 20% more whining)
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted July 11, 2004 19:23      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So, I've been gone for months again. At least this time I didn't come close to dying of anything (not that I know of anyway). Some good things have happened along the way.

I've spent the last year or so dieting and exercising as much as I can and have lost 120lbs. I'm now actually on the kidney transplant list and eligible to get one should a match come up. Amazing how much determination to lose weight you can muster when a doctor tells you point blank that you're so overweight that the surgery you need would probably kill you.

I've received a promotion and raise at work, which is nice. I can actually afford my medications and treatments and I'm not slowly spiralling towards bankruptcy anymore. In a couple years, I may actually have money in the bank.

Not everything has come up roses, however, and a few things worry me.

I've become increasingly isolated and antisocial. I've always been a fairly private person, but I seem to be bordering on recluse or hermit status of late. I seem to have no emotional energy left to deal with people for the most part and have severed a lot of ties with people I was around in RL.

My thoughts have drifted towards some much darker areas than they normally do, but that's something best left alone for now.

The tedious business of going to dialysis, being hooked up to the machine and spending four hours three times a week is getting to me well. I seriously never wanted my life to go like this and it's incredibly frustrating that there's nothing I can do about it that I haven't already done. All I can do is sit and wait and hope a kidney transpant becomes available and that wait is likely to be two or three years long.

*sigh* I've depressed even myself. I think it's time for me to go to bed. G'night all.

--------------------
Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted July 11, 2004 19:41      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Steen, please don't be insulted, but aren't there support groups around for people in your situation? You're fighting a huge battle here, and you'll be better off if you don't have to fight it alone.

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
snupy
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1211

Member Rated:
5
Icon 9 posted July 11, 2004 20:07      Profile for snupy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Steen, you are way too smart not to know that you are suffering from depression, whether it is situational or long-term. Have you talked to your doctors? Can you take antidepressant meds? Can you afford a therapist?

You know you need help. Please get it.


We're here for you, ya know.

--------------------
"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family

Posts: 4269 | From: UK, via Chicago | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

Member # 1477

Icon 1 posted July 11, 2004 22:45      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hey, when your hooked up to that dialysis machine see if you can get a dsl connection, that way you can hangout here while you are getting treated [Wink] ...If it makes any difference, people here are pulling for ya.

Keep your chin up, man [thumbsup]

--------------------
(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
mephisto

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 666

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted July 11, 2004 23:43      Profile for mephisto     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I hope you get better soon man. We're here for ya.

--------------------
"Liberate tutame exinferis."

Posts: 795 | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged
nekomatic
SuperFan!
Member # 376

Member Rated:
5
Icon 14 posted July 12, 2004 05:31      Profile for nekomatic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Good to hear from you, old timer!

I don't really know what help to offer, but have you severed the ties you mentioned irreversibly or just let people drift away? Maybe if you explain frankly that you can't always be 100%, but would still appreciate the contact, some people will turn out to be better friends than you think?

You've got some really positive things to report - hang in there.

Posts: 822 | From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Mar 2000  |  IP: Logged
csk

Member # 1941

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted July 12, 2004 06:43      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Steen, good to see you back around here. Sorry to hear your circumstances aren't the best, hang in there, though. Getting help sounds like a good thing to do, too.

After all 1 in 5 people supposedly suffer from depression, and > 5 distinct people posted in this thread, so one of us must have it [crazy]

Seriously, you've been dealt a tough hand, but you also seem like you're doing a brave job of shouldering the load. Stick with it, and no doubt the folks around here will be happy to offer you support and friendship.

--------------------
6 weeks to go!

Posts: 4455 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
Aditu
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 2340

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted July 12, 2004 06:46      Profile for Aditu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have a good friend on dialysis. She was being overwhelmed by depression from going to the center. It was like being smacked with her worries 4 times a week. She couldn't focus on the good things in her life.

Anyway she is now on some antidepressants that help. It did take a bit to find one that worked well with her other meds. She has also started taking books on tape to the center to distract herself with. She also worked with her doctor to see what she could do to raise her energy levels. She was too pooped between dialysis and her meds. She is also part of an online support group. I will try to find out the web address for you.

Hang in there.

Posts: 1355 | From: Osten Ard | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
ooby
Highlie
Member # 2603

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted July 12, 2004 06:56      Profile for ooby     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Congrats on the weight loss!

--------------------
"haven't you ever wondered if there's more to life than being really, really, rediculously good looking?"

Posts: 680 | From: South Jersey | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2814

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted July 12, 2004 07:17      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
While I don't really know who you are, I learned enough from your post to say: congratulations on the weight loss, that's incredible; I wish you the absolute best, and hope you get a donor kidney very soon; and hang in there, you've already obviously come so far, you can look forward to when there will be a time when this is all a thing of the past.
Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
zorgon
Assimilated
Member # 546

Rate Member
Icon 11 posted July 12, 2004 12:50      Profile for zorgon     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Good luck Steen, hang in there!

/old skool -- represent!

Posts: 385 | From: Beautiful Uptown Goleta | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
Snaggy

Sir Snaggalot!
Member # 123

Member Rated:
5
Icon 14 posted July 12, 2004 13:40      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Steen, wow, congratulations on what you've accomplished so far. Losing that much weight and getting on the transplant list is an amazing achievement. Kudos too on the job promo. [thumbsup]

Dialysis must be exhausting, I'm really sorry to hear you have to go through that. What you've achieved this past year, and the amount of mental and physical strength that it must have taken is really impressive and I find that encouraging. I hope you can draw on your recent success, and it goes without saying that we are all rooting for you and happy you are back in our virtual lives. [Smile]

Posts: 8100 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
supergoo

SuperFan!
Member # 2280

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted July 12, 2004 14:09      Profile for supergoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
steensteensteensteensteensteensteensteen!!

Now that you've had the royal Supergoo greeting, I would like to introduce myself as I haven't been here long enough to see your posts. I'm supergoo, nice to meet you [Smile]

Posts: 675 | From: Boston 'burbs | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
DoctorWho

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 392

Member Rated:
5
Icon 14 posted July 12, 2004 14:37      Profile for DoctorWho     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Steen, it's good to see your posts again. Hang in there man. Here's to hoping for the best.

--------------------
Laughter is like changing a baby's diapers. It doesn't solve anything but it sure improves the situation. Leo F. Buscaglia

Posts: 1694 | From: The TARDIS | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted July 12, 2004 18:07      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh, I know very well that I'm depressed. I am dealing with it and, actually, coming here gives me a semi-social outlet without some of the problematic issues that RL contact has. As a result, I'm going to babble and whine and generally let a variety of things out in this thread that will probably be at least a bit unpleasant. I recognize the nead for an outlet and this is probably the one with the least consequences.

Looking back, I think the 'darker thoughts' comment was probably the most worrisome thing I posted. I should have either not mentioned or been more informative about what I meant by darker thoughts. For what it's worth, a mild form of eugenics is what keeps running through my mind.

I have a genetic disposition towards severe nearsightedness thanks to some deformed eyeballs (which also results in my eyes not being able to contract as much as others, so direct sunlight is remarkably painful). I also have a a lot of problem with weight control. I can actually gain weight on a 1200 calorie a day diet unless I couple it with exercise. Lastly, my kidney failure was due to a genetic defect.

I find myself strongly in favor a life of celibacy from now on. Being fat and and nearsighted is lousy enough, but I'm honestly not sure I could live with the guilt if a child of mine suffered what I'm going through. If I ever have a child, you can be pretty sure it will be adopted.

All that shouldn't be so bad, I guess, but I actually had hopes of passing along my intelligence and other good traits to a child. It's a little traumatic to realize that it will never happen because you yourself will never allow it.

This of course leads to a hypothetical philosophical question that I wish I could answer a bit more positively. If you could stop the people with genetic defects from breeding and improve the human race's gene pool as a result, would you? Intellectually, I believe the answer should be no, but on an emotional level, I find myself quite undecided. This is not a good thing, to my mind.

I also find myself wondering if I even deserve a kidney. What I just typed reveals at least a hint of a monster inside me (and I'm directly decended from German ancestry too, so anything involving eugenics and my ancestry should probably scare the hell out of you). I know for absolute certain, however, that I will accept one when it becomes available. As a result, this is mostly me setting myself up for an interesting case of something similar to survivor guilt, but I just can't seem to stop such thoughts from coming to mind.

Ah well, enough of that. Please everone, don't concern yourselves too much. I've always had a tendancy towards being a dark and somewhat depressed person. I've always taken off and gone hiking by myself in the mountains here when it all gets to be a bit much and, after a few hours surrounded by nothing but nature, it all becomes profoundly silly to me and my mental state is restored. I just can't hike enough lately to cover my needs, so alternative outlets are necessary.

So, anyone up for a calm, rational, intelligent discussion of eugenics? [Smile]

--------------------
Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

Member # 1477

Icon 1 posted July 12, 2004 18:39      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Steen:
This of course leads to a hypothetical philosophical question that I wish I could answer a bit more positively. If you could stop the people with genetic defects from breeding and improve the human race's gene pool as a result, would you?

Well the simple answer is no. Genetic defects are mutations....but mutations can be either good or bad. In the 80 years each of us inhabit this planet, I don't think we can even hope to say which mutations we see manifested in ourselves, or families are good or bad.

Flashback 100,000 years.... All the giraffes look more like horses, then one is born with a really long neck. All the other giraffes think this is funny as hell and make fun of him. Today we don't see many short necked giraffes.*

I think we, like all life on the planet, have a pretty good job; screwing our brains out...really that is what it all boils down to, that is how each of us got here, and it is our job to pass our genes on....good or bad. Natural selecction will take care of the rest.


*Generalization....but you get the point. [Wink]

--------------------
(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
snupy
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1211

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted July 12, 2004 19:42      Profile for snupy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Lastly, my kidney failure was due to a genetic defect

I thought you contracted some virus and fell very ill? Is my memory that bad??


As far as your question-now that I've googled eugenics and know what the hell you're talking about, I'll have to think on it!

On a somewhat similar note, there is a fascinating and disturbing movie from the 90's called Twilight of the Golds, which poses the question: If they could predict that your child would be gay, would you chose to terminate the pregnancy? Brendan Fraser is a gay man whose sister is contemplating this because she knows how hard the child's life will ultimately be as an outcast of society.

--------------------
"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family

Posts: 4269 | From: UK, via Chicago | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

Member # 1477

Icon 1 posted July 12, 2004 20:00      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'd be more concerned about being related to Brendan Fraser than having a gay child.

--------------------
(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted July 12, 2004 20:02      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Steen, my sister survived a bout of very rare adrenal cancer twice. She lost a kidney, an adrenal gland, and chunk of liver to the disease. Hundreds of thousands of dollars were shelled out by our insurance company to keep her alive. Is there any justification for it? Not really, other than we lvoe her and she's a good worthwhile person.

I tell you this because the same goes for you and your eventual new kidney. My sis has wondered if she's worth what was spent to keep her alive, but I think that, if you make the years to come worthwhile, then you are worth the kidney. You are more than your past; you are more than the dark thoughts you are thinking now. THe fact that you can recognize your thoughts as dark and monstrous shows that you have a good heart. If you were truly a monster, you would be posting this as a brilliant idea, and not as a dirty confession.

Finally, Cap'n Vic is dead-on about the eugenics thing. Nature thrives on diversity, and there's some good in the bad. For example, having two copies of the sickle-cell gene gives you sickle-cell anemia. Having one copy gives you sickle-cell trait and makes you resistent to malaria. This is why sickle-cell is so prevalent among tropical populations, and also why it would not be good to lose that trait.

I hear you about the passing things on though. I feel kinda sorry for my kids when I think of the genetic line-up I've got going, but I'm gonna just marry a man who's got the happier genes and hope the kiddies come out somewhere on his end of the pool (remember, genetics is very much a toss up - you won't necessarily pass on what you've got). I seem to be the recessive in the family. But hey, I've got pretty blue eyes and, unlike my dad and my three siblings, I don't sweat like a Clydesdale. I just get a nice lady-like glow. [Razz]

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted July 12, 2004 20:37      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A woman we know got to watch her daughter die slowly and painfully of a genetic disorder, it was truely horrible, and I wouldn't wish an experience like that on anyone.

So, if you know that your kidney problems will be passed on, then not breeding would seem like a sensible choice.

However, as Xanthine says, genetics is complex, far more complex than most advocates of eugenics realise. Most genetic disorders are recessive, so there has to be a contribution from both parents. Also 'genetics' is sometimes just medico-speak for "fscked if I know what's causing it", so don't make any big decisions until you've consulted an expert. A good genetic councellor can look at both potential parents backgrounds and DNA, and tell you the risks, so you can make an informed decision.

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10669 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
quantumfluff
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 450

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted July 12, 2004 20:41      Profile for quantumfluff     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Steen:
... As a result, I'm going to babble and whine and generally let a variety of things out in this thread that will probably be at least a bit unpleasant. I recognize the nead for an outlet and this is probably the one with the least consequences

I'd rather talk with someone who's bitter but has a clue, than someone who just doesn't get it. Welcome back.
Posts: 2901 | From: 5 to 15 meters above sea level | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged
Callipygous
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2071

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted July 13, 2004 03:05      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Xan is spot on. We are here to love and be loved, and your posts show a good heart, so you are worth the effort. Now is not the time to think about whether you might have children, it is a decision you don't need to second guess yet. That you know it will be difficult is enough. But maybe you might want to think again about reaching out to some of those people you have lost contact with. They might be more pleased than you think, for many of us have our inner demons too, and that good heart should not go to waste!

Good luck. [thumbsup]

--------------------
"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

Posts: 2922 | From: Brighton - UK | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
csk

Member # 1941

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted July 13, 2004 06:17      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh, one other thing, Steen. A friend of mine lent me "Beating the Blues" as a good book to read on depression and how to deal with it on a personal level. I'm about halfway through it so far, it seems really good from what I've read. It seems to approach things from a cognitive behavioural therapy viewpoint,if you've come across that before.

--------------------
6 weeks to go!

Posts: 4455 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
Aditu
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 2340

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted July 13, 2004 08:39      Profile for Aditu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
And you don't have to have a biological child to be a dad. I have PCOS and can't have a child. So after a wander throught a dark wood, I am adopting the fabulous Dora-Marie. If I ever get through all the ##* paperwork. [Smile]

You might not pass on your fabulous genes, but you can pass on some great things anyway.

Posts: 1355 | From: Osten Ard | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
csk

Member # 1941

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted July 13, 2004 09:17      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Aditu:
And you don't have to have a biological child to be a dad. I have PCOS and can't have a child. So after a wander throught a dark wood, I am adopting the fabulous Dora-Marie. If I ever get through all the ##* paperwork. [Smile]

You might not pass on your fabulous genes, but you can pass on some great things anyway.

Don't let the PCOS stop you trying for children. One of my neighbours has PCO and was told it was impossible for her to have children. She ended up getting pregnant, and now has a beautiful, healthy daughter. Of course, she was very fortunate, but don't give up hope entirely.

--------------------
6 weeks to go!

Posts: 4455 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged


All times are Eastern Time
This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2 
 
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Geek Culture Home Page

2015 Geek Culture

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.4.0



homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam