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Author Topic: whats a good first date?
Noldoaran
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Icon 1 posted June 13, 2007 21:27      Profile for Noldoaran     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I need to date more, but I'm always nervous about asking women out. I think I would feel more confortable if I had something planned out that would be a good way to get to know her better. what are some good first dates that you have experienced?

One of the other conserns is that I'm worried that she might be going out with someone else. How can I tell if she is 'taken'?

Posts: 228 | From: California | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged
macmcseboy

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Icon 1 posted June 13, 2007 21:34      Profile for macmcseboy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I the words of Capn Vic... Show up naked with beer [Wink]

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Live long and prosper.

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zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted June 13, 2007 23:11      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Noldoaran:
One of the other conserns is that I'm worried that she might be going out with someone else. How can I tell if she is 'taken'?

That's very easy to find out - just walk up to her and grab her arse. If you see a rather angry-looking fella trying to nail you in the jaw with a perfectly executed right hook, the gal's probably taken. If not, you're good to go. [evil]
Posts: 1094 | From: Boston | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
fs

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Icon 1 posted June 14, 2007 02:15      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
And now for some serious advice.

Plan out stuff you would like to do anyway. Museums, concerts, open-mic nights, whatever floats your boat. Make them things you would enjoy doing anyway. And go to them anyway, even if no one goes with you. There is always the possibility that you will meet a girl there, already doing something you know you enjoy. (Bonus, something in common.)

When you meet a girl you think you like, ask her to do one of those things (that you would be doing anyway) with you. I know it's not really a date, but that whole idea of asking a near stranger on a "date" with all that implies puts more pressure on just getting to know someone than is strictly necessary.

Regarding taken: Women are not posessions. It's not like someone took the last bag of crunchy cheetos and now you need to find another delicious salt-laden snack food. She might be involved with someone. If she is, she'll probably tell you. If she is and she doesn't, there is probably a lot wrong in that relationship to begin with. If you wind up in the situation where you meet a woman with a boyfriend and she doesn't tell you she has one, you will find out eventually. At that point you can "let's just be friends" her and move on. It's not that big a problem since most women will tell you early on if they are otherwise involved. Many will do it to let you know that they are not available. Others will do it so they can assign the guilt of any infidelity that may occur to you: "He knew I had a boyfriend and he slept with me anyway." Either way, it's not really a big deal.

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Posts: 1973 | From: The Cat Ship | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
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Icon 1 posted June 14, 2007 05:51      Profile for business attire     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
a lot of girls are reverting back to the old ways of courtship and dating several men at the same time until they decide which one they want to maintain an exclusive relationship with. It keeps us from taking things too fast, too soon. Of course, some girls are slutty and that what you're trying to avoid (I think), but I don't think you should freak out if she has dinner with you monday, then lunch with another male friend on thursday. Just as long as she keeps it quiet. "I have plans, sorry." is much better to hear than "No can do. I have a date that day."

To answer the main question -- there is absolutely nothing wrong with dinner and a movie. It's classic, and if its a nice dinner and a decent flick I'm perfectly happy. Day trips can be nice too, with the weather all pretty -- hiking, biking through the park, if you have a beach nearby thats good. Just remember lunch!

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Maggs
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Icon 1 posted June 17, 2007 18:32      Profile for Maggs     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The grabbing her ass point of view will probably get you in trouble. Stick with dinner and a movie, hell I'm the smae age as you, and I'm having trouble dating in NYC, where 51% of the population is female.
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Lost1soul
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Icon 1 posted June 17, 2007 18:38      Profile for Lost1soul     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
blah......dating is unique to each individual/couple. You have to find what works for you and what you are comfortable with and what you both like. Take a dive, see what happens and take notes on the mistakes.
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stevenback7
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Icon 1 posted June 17, 2007 18:56      Profile for stevenback7   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
yeah i'm going with what fs said but with a little twist;

Now i've told someone this before on this forums but i will repeat it again. Just go to places you like to go to where there are ppl. so conventions, LAN parties, bars, etc. But don't go to these places with your mind set on finding a girl. Just go to these places with your mind set on having a good time and meeting some new ppl. If you meet a nice girl ask her if she will be at ______ next weekend and if she's not then ask her if she wants to come along. If she has a bf then oh well you met a new friend and you don't look like a complete idiot walking into _____ event.

As for knowing if a girl has a bf. If she dosn't tell you right away she has a bf when it is obvious that you are flirting with her then she is not the one for you. Even though for miss attire it might be fun to try and keep this info from you as long as possible. It will reveal that this girl is not open and honest - which would lead to trouble in the future.

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zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted June 17, 2007 19:54      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by business attire:
a lot of girls are reverting back to the old ways of courtship and dating several men at the same time until they decide which one they want to maintain an exclusive relationship with. It keeps us from taking things too fast, too soon. Of course, some girls are slutty and that what you're trying to avoid (I think), but I don't think you should freak out if she has dinner with you monday, then lunch with another male friend on thursday. Just as long as she keeps it quiet. "I have plans, sorry." is much better to hear than "No can do. I have a date that day."

Right, but what if guy #1 finds out about guy #2, guy #2 finds out about guy #1, or they both find out about each other? Does that mean we're going back to the good old days when courtship and dueling went hand in hand? [Razz]
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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted June 17, 2007 21:33      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Beats me. My dad never killed any of the men my mom dated before they started going steady.

Instead of getting homicidal, just prove you're a better match.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted June 17, 2007 21:48      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Beats me. My dad never killed any of the men my mom dated before they started going steady.

Instead of getting homicidal, just prove you're a better match.

Right, it's perfectly fine as long as the the poor lad isn't given the idea that he's already "going steady."

Maggs:
About half of NYC's dateable male population happens to be millionaires, but then again, what's your average trust fund baby? More often than not, it's a pink shirt-clad apelike creature with gelled-up hair that's already starting to disappear due to the fact that it's hidden under some stupid baseball cap 99% of the time, a beer gut, a brain no bigger than a dried pea, and a vocabulary mostly limited to words like "beer, game score and whooooooo!" Who in the world would want that? Even if some gal falls in love with his wallet, she would still cheat on him with fellas like us [evil]

Noldoaran: aside from the usual ass-grabbing technique, give this a shot: some smalltalk at a coffee shop, followed by an art museum, followed by a sushi bar. Just make sure you don't mix up the order of things - I don't think raw fish and coffee mix that well [Smile]

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Stereo

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Icon 1 posted June 18, 2007 07:28      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
Just make sure you don't mix up the order of things - I don't think raw fish and coffee mix that well [Smile]

Don't coffee shops have some tea offerings too?

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted June 18, 2007 14:19      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The best first date is 1/1/1970.
(well, you asked a geek [Wink] )

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted June 18, 2007 15:13      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That's like epoch, man... [Wink]

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stringlion
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Icon 1 posted June 19, 2007 17:18      Profile for stringlion     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
what i would do is gather the courage to walk up to her and talk to her, then after a while just say something along the lines of "well, I'd better get going before your boyfriend finds out and gets jealous" then she'll simply tell you if she wasn't going out with someone.
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Icon 1 posted June 20, 2007 23:59      Profile for Slack User   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It depends on the girl, TOTALLY.
Some girls are movie goers. Movies are great to hang out with. Others like to eat food. Red Robin or Friday's or some semi-leveled up Restaurant can be a lot of fun just to chat. (Be sure you got plenty to chat about for this date type).

My personal favorites are bring them home and PLAY SOME CONSOLE GAMES. I have a huge array of activity games, from American Idol (karaoke!), Guitar Hero, DDR, or if they are dream-come-true types of girls coop up in a FPS or RTS and have a mini LAN party. <3

The real key to a good date is find something you will enjoy, do a little research on her personality to find if she should enjoy it too, and put a little effort. Girls like effort. They like confidence too.

I probably repeated some posts on the tops. If so, I agree with them!

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I must not be popular. I only got 2 stars. :(

Posts: 63 | From: Las Vegas | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged
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Icon 1 posted June 21, 2007 00:02      Profile for Slack User   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
In regards to boyfriends, I'm a VERY blunt and straight forward guy. If I have a question, I just ask. I'm the type of guy where if I want to date you, I'll let you know. I won't subtly tie it into the conversation like it was some cryptic telepathic message that comes out in the innocent words of "I'm going to see Spider man 3. Want to come along?" , I say "I was thinking of going to Spider Man 3, you could accompany me as my date if you like." Girls normally take an introduction like that and quickly change it from a date to just friends, inform of a boyfriend, or even decline, but the point is you are taking the lead and it shows confidence. [Smile]

Instead of worrying about a boyfriend, confront her anyways! Ask her. Most girls lie anyways. Some will say they have a boyfriend or have other plans, even if they really don't. It's a scapegoat to show they aren't interested in you, or don't want to go out because they're recovering from a previous boyfriend or something. Just hear it and move on. The faster you move on the more likely you'll find someone special. Yeah there are some girls who don't date unless they know you for a while, if they are they usually try to lean the conversation to a "let's be friends" situation and that's fine too. Just pay attention to what they say and you can pick up on what they really mean just by what they subtly suggest as you "stomp around" the conversation.

But how you present things and how you speak to girls TOTALLY depends on you too. There's no wrong way to do it, as long as you do it in some form! The more you try to ask girls out and date the better you become at it and you can learn and become better and better.

Same goes for dates. Bottom line it's just spending time together.

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I must not be popular. I only got 2 stars. :(

Posts: 63 | From: Las Vegas | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged
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Icon 1 posted June 21, 2007 06:24      Profile for business attire     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Slack User:
It depends on the girl, TOTALLY.
Red Robin or Friday's or some semi-leveled up Restaurant can be a lot of fun just to chat.

no, no, no, no, no... NO.


I hate those GD overcrowded, too loud to hear yourself think, ask you 40 times if you need a box before you're done eating so they can hurry you the hell out of the place, restaurants. ugh!

Don't take girls there.

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LemonSmuggler
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Icon 1 posted June 21, 2007 18:41      Profile for LemonSmuggler     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by business attire:
quote:
Originally posted by Slack User:
It depends on the girl, TOTALLY.
Red Robin or Friday's or some semi-leveled up Restaurant can be a lot of fun just to chat.

no, no, no, no, no... NO.


I hate those GD overcrowded, too loud to hear yourself think, ask you 40 times if you need a box before you're done eating so they can hurry you the hell out of the place, restaurants. ugh!

Don't take girls there.

I totally agree with BA, whatever you do, do not go to that sort of place. It's not "fun". Instead go a a nice, low-key place, were you can grab some coffee or something else sweet to drink and some dessert. Most girls eat very little on the first date or two simply because they are nervous.

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Oy to the vey.

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Noldoaran
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Icon 1 posted June 28, 2007 21:31      Profile for Noldoaran     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thanks for the advice. I think my biggest concern is planning, I want to be sure It is a good envirement where we can get to know each other. If it wasn't clear before, I have dated before, but I don't date as often as I would like.
Posts: 228 | From: California | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged
business attire
Highlie
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Icon 1 posted June 29, 2007 06:17      Profile for business attire     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
sometimes too much planning can be a horrible thing.
especially if it doesn't go according to plan, and you freak out.

theres no worse date than saying "will you hurry up and eat! faster! we're supposed to take a moonlight stroll at 9:15 and we're going to be late!" [Big Grin]

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quantumfluff
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Icon 1 posted June 29, 2007 14:14      Profile for quantumfluff     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
sometimes too much planning can be a horrible thing.
Like Burns said "The best planned lays of mice and men often go awry"

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quantumfluff
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Icon 1 posted June 29, 2007 14:18      Profile for quantumfluff     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by business attire:
... Of course, some girls are slutty ...

Do you have a list of their names and numbers?
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fs

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Icon 1 posted July 01, 2007 06:02      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by quantumfluff:
quote:
Originally posted by business attire:
... Of course, some girls are slutty ...

Do you have a list of their names and numbers?
Define "slutty" first.

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CommanderShroom
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Icon 1 posted July 01, 2007 06:07      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by fs:
Define "slutty" first.

I remember a comedian once put it this way.

A slut will have sex with anybody. A bitch will have sex with anybody but you.

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Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

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