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Author Topic: why a guy geek?
mike_INTJ
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Icon 1 posted May 26, 2006 18:04      Profile for mike_INTJ     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
just a general question the girls - why do geek guys interest you? are you a geek yourself? or are you one of the non-geek-beach-sheek type?

is there something that you recognize in a geek, that you don't in others (besides wearing a tie)?

i guess i'm a geek, not crazy for the term, regaurdless if it's hip to be a geek. i guess technology saturation is a good thing, since i can work it and other's can't, but need too.

but i'd like to know how i can get a girl to me. since i doubt it will ever connect the other way around.

so far the only positive attributes that i seem to have according the married ladies where i work: they say i have a nice smile, nice eyes, and nice legs, or i should say sexy legs - though through research i still don't quite know what that means exactly. and i look 10 years younger then i am. other's called me smart - i decided to stop hiding smarts and just try to be myself. but it's hard - since many don't have any idea what i just said.

so anyway - what is it that you like in a geek? thanks

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Mochan
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Icon 1 posted May 26, 2006 18:16      Profile for Mochan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ah, someone who remembers his Myers Biggs results from elementary school!
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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted May 26, 2006 18:34      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I used to be an INTJ. Then two years later I tested as an ENTJ. Another two years and I tested as an ENTP. I'm curious what I'd test as today, particularly with my new-found confidence stemming from a relationship with my very own semi-geek.

I just consider brains and excellent manners to be extremely sexy. It doesn't hurt if he has very capable hands, an endearing smile, and completely adores me! [hearts]

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mike_INTJ
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Icon 1 posted May 26, 2006 19:56      Profile for mike_INTJ     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
I used to be an INTJ. Then two years later I tested as an ENTJ. Another two years and I tested as an ENTP. I'm curious what I'd test as today, particularly with my new-found confidence stemming from a relationship with my very own semi-geek.

I just consider brains and excellent manners to be extremely sexy. It doesn't hurt if he has very capable hands, an endearing smile, and completely adores me! [hearts]

the only thing i can assume is that your not answering the questions honestly. but answering them as you would like to see it in yourself. unless you border on all those things. if your an introvert, you don't become extraverted. i score almost halfway on the feeling part. but the socionics version, i seem to have no feeling what so ever, go figure...
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mike_INTJ
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Icon 1 posted May 26, 2006 19:57      Profile for mike_INTJ     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Mochan:
Ah, someone who remembers his Myers Biggs results from elementary school!

never had it in school. did it online with around 20 tests. INTp in socionics. picture thinker.
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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted May 26, 2006 21:59      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yeah, it's not that I was answering the questions incorrectly, it's that my personality or rather, my preferences, have changed through the years. I'll always be borderline introvert/extravert, but which one I'll appear varies. Make sense?

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Mochan
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Icon 1 posted May 26, 2006 22:35      Profile for Mochan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I seem to be INFP through and through, though I personally think I'm borderline in F and T.

I took it in elementary school, then tried it once again online. Since I scored the same -- and don't really recall which answers are supposed to be what -- I take it to mean that I am naturally an INFP.

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Icon 1 posted May 26, 2006 23:21      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
IXXJ. The middle two depend very highly on what kind of mood I'm in when I take the test. The I is pretty strong. The J is weak, but consistent. The labrat will not be pigeon-holed. [Razz]

Geek guys interest me because they do. 'Nuf said.

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magefile
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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 00:45      Profile for magefile     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
XNTJ here. Nothing to say, just thought I'd chip in with my letters.
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fs

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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 00:55      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Geek is incidental. It's not the be all and end all of criteria, it just happens that most of the things I look for are qualities found in men with a geeky bent. Smart, similar interests in hobbies, movies, and books. Open to learning and doing new things. Similar political and social attitudes. The things that are most important to me are that my partner is kind, loving, gentle, and respects me as an equal. Those are functions of being a genuinely nice person, not a geek.

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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 01:06      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
INTJ. I'd also be Bert from Sesame Street, my Pirate Name is Red Grace Rackham, and I'm an Expert Kisser.

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skylar
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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 02:24      Profile for skylar     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by mike_INTJ:
just a general question the girls - why do geek guys interest you? are you a geek yourself? or are you one of the non-geek-beach-sheek type?

This might not be the best place to admit this, but I no longer find geeky guys as attractive as I once did. Or rather, I am now attracted to guys who have geeky elements to their personalities, but would not be considered 'geeks'.

I really admire it and find it attractive when a guy has a passionate intellectual interest. When he can make an idiot of himself in attempting to convey his enthusiasm for said interest, all the better. Wanting to learn and knowing things are hugely attractive qualities, as are the kindness and sincerity which many geeks I have met happen to have.

However (and bear in mind folks, that these are massive generalisations) I find that the majority of geeks I know often suffer from one type of social awkwardness or another. Many are shy, or not very confident. They don't know how to feel at ease in any number of given situations, and therefore never seem truly happy around others. Such qualities, I don't find attractive. In fact, I'm explicitly attracted to guys who are confident, funny, the life and soul of the party, as it were. Probably because I've always wanted to be like that, a little bit.

So, to my mind, the most attractive men are the ones who are 'norms' with a passion for learning which they indulge, but which doesn't rule their lives, or geeks who are confident and happy around other people, and don't hide away from the world in the protective confines of their subject.

And there ya go [Razz] .

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GameMaster
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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 03:44      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm with X on those personality tests... They are pointless. I'm an extroverted introvert (or vice versa)... I have no problem getting up on stage in front of a crowd and performing, but when it's just a judge with pen and paper in hand -- I'm mortified (auditions and juries are why I'm no longer a music major).

Mike, don't try to be geeky and don't try to be non-geek. Be yourself. If that happens to land on the geek side of line (I've never been sure where the line is), then so be it. If you can't find a girl who likes you for you, look somewhere else -- don't try to fit a mold.

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mike_INTJ
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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 04:54      Profile for mike_INTJ     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
Yeah, it's not that I was answering the questions incorrectly, it's that my personality or rather, my preferences, have changed through the years. I'll always be borderline introvert/extravert, but which one I'll appear varies. Make sense?

yeah i think so, since my numbers vary from time to time. some people can be a xxTx or something like that.
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mike_INTJ
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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 04:57      Profile for mike_INTJ     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Mochan:
I seem to be INFP through and through, though I personally think I'm borderline in F and T.

I took it in elementary school, then tried it once again online. Since I scored the same -- and don't really recall which answers are supposed to be what -- I take it to mean that I am naturally an INFP.

i think mostly it means that your naturally quiet, would rather be alone then in a group. that you follow your intuition about a feeling. and usually use your feelings over a logical fault. and as far as i know, the P J thing is about judgement. but it all becomes fuzzy when you talk on a Socionics board, thinking it's an MBTI board. because apparently they are way different.

i tend to be a bit cold and logical. and though in MBTI my Feeling and thinking are pretty close to each other - the feeling part is locked up. and since i don't get emotional over the same things other's do - like a co-worker being fired or leaving. i don't miss them at all, and this confuses some.

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mike_INTJ
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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 05:08      Profile for mike_INTJ     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by GameMaster:
I'm with X on those personality tests... They are pointless. I'm an extroverted introvert (or vice versa)... I have no problem getting up on stage in front of a crowd and performing, but when it's just a judge with pen and paper in hand -- I'm mortified (auditions and juries are why I'm no longer a music major).

Mike, don't try to be geeky and don't try to be non-geek. Be yourself. If that happens to land on the geek side of line (I've never been sure where the line is), then so be it. If you can't find a girl who likes you for you, look somewhere else -- don't try to fit a mold.

i don't think i can mold even if i wanted too. i want to fit in, yet stick out. it creates paradoxes. i got to the point of attracting someone, but on a school ground level. but froze every time i wanted to say something to her. and since i hate driving, it makes it hard to think of a date and bring them there. now i waited too long. the main problem is, she isn't that outgoing herself. so that may be the main problem, to shy's don't work together.

i myself have been practicing to be more out going. but it's hard to talk when i havn't done much of it at all. and the coworkers are mostly spanish and portuguese, with boring topics. any word i use that has more than 8 letters and they fade out. anything about theories, etc, they fade out.

mostly i think i'm liked there because people think i'm an anomoly of some kind. since i don't go for the good mornings etc. i say hi when spoken too, but otherwise i don't see the need for small talk, or greetings when you can clearly see i'm there. and yet i'm a nice guy who has an answer for everything. i can fix almost anything, and many come for advice on how to fix those things. but nothing else.

some even think i'm happy, so i guess my smiling practice is working. i whitened my teeth so i think that helps. and i can be quite funny, but it's usually a play on words. so many are well guarded to what they say to me so i don't swing it back to them. i do the same automatically.

i have been practicing talking to people. for a long time i thought they were just tuning me out and i stopped mid sentance. it turns out that i was finishing my thought in my head, and percieved it that way. now i try not to think at all before i speak, and it seems to help. though i tend to blurt out stupid things at the wrong time.

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 06:25      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Just a thought here...and it's not the nicest bit to say...but:
Have you considered the idea that these women are already married, and are just looking at you with fascination as a toy? Therefore, you don't really need to meet any of the criteria they'd demand for a significant other, so they're only observing you as a friend, or in rare circumstances...a fling.

Skylar has probably done the best job of characterizing the woes of geeks - I know I certainly hit a few of those points at times. Other times I work around them pretty well... but much of the time, I'm probably not quite of interest to others as your everyday bloke is. *shrug*

I think Perl & I need to rekindle our friendship a bit more of late. [Razz] Maybe I'll hack up some Perl in a coffee shop in a few days time. [Big Grin] [hearts]

(Anything else seems to have a very low chance of working, I should figure. [Naturally, that attitude doesn't help one bit, but on the flip side, trying to hard doesn't work either. Gaaaah!])

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Metasquares
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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 06:56      Profile for Metasquares   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by GameMaster:
I'm with X on those personality tests... They are pointless. I'm an extroverted introvert (or vice versa)... I have no problem getting up on stage in front of a crowd and performing, but when it's just a judge with pen and paper in hand -- I'm mortified (auditions and juries are why I'm no longer a music major).


That's precisely the behavior an introvert would exhibit. A large crowd is a different beast entirely from a few individuals.

Of the four Myers-Briggs dichotomies, I/E is the one least likely to change because it's grounded in physiology - introverts actually have different levels of activity in different parts of their brains. If you constantly change from one to the other, you're either borderline or something (could be mood) is making your answers biased. The questions themselves may play a role also - overall introverts won't act introverted in every situation, nor will extroverts behave extroverted in every situation.

I find it's easier to classify personality by what you don't do than what you do.

Extreme INTJ here, in case anyone is wondering.

There's a great book on MBTI, called "Please understand me", that goes into a lot of detail about this.

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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 07:49      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm INTP/architect.

And what I like in geek guys is they are smart. OK, non-geek guys can be smart too, but they may not crave the answers as the geeks do. That craving to explore the limits of knowledge is sexy. Dismissing the need for a dictionary or encyclopedia when people don't agree on a fact is a turn down. Good looks is a plus, of course, and financial independence a must (but I don't know many geeks who can't find a job paying enough to sustain themselves - I can take care of my own needs). And I'd like to find someone who is more active than me so he could push me out of my bad habits. And of course, someone acknowledging that I am not at ease in most social activities so he won't try to force me (at least, not too often), and won't resent my awkwardness.

But of course, I am myself a geek. (Or close enough.)

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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 08:13      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Skylar answered a huge question that seems to come around quite often.

Why do geek <insert-gender-here> date non-geek <insert-gender-here>?

Because they have a strength in an area that the other does not have.

Why do some women like geek guys? Because they like the personality traits. Or maybe some like the introverted characteristics. But never bet on it. Most women do not care for the weakness that introverted behaviour appears to have. Sensitivity only goes so far. But an air of confidence and knowledge take you so much further.

I think men are much more forgiving of shyness in a female. Perhaps it comes to those classic gender roles.

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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 09:07      Profile for Demosthenes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm an ENTJ through and through.
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Mochan
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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 14:46      Profile for Mochan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
LOL Firesnake

INFP
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I took those tests at OkCupid as well. There was another site I used to take tests on all the time, I forgot which one it was.

Something to do during those long boring hours at work, LOL.

[quote=Metasquares]
Of the four Myers-Briggs dichotomies, I/E is the one least likely to change because it's grounded in physiology - introverts actually have different levels of activity in different parts of their brains. [/quote]

Yes. People tend towards Introvert/Extrovert for a reason: a person's genetics actually controls the amount of endorphines and other brain chemicals released in response to certain situations. That's why some people are naturally daredevils and thrillseekers (type F personality) while some naturally cower in the face of unknown, dangerous situations. That's why father and son will exhibit similar reactions to certain situations, even if their upbringings were completely different, even if the father did not raise the son.

Certainly you can change your behavior to a certain extent, but there's a reason why you behave the way you do, and it isn't all environment. People really are hard-wired to act and react in certain ways.

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mike_INTJ
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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 15:29      Profile for mike_INTJ     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
Just a thought here...and it's not the nicest bit to say...but:
Have you considered the idea that these women are already married, and are just looking at you with fascination as a toy? Therefore, you don't really need to meet any of the criteria they'd demand for a significant other, so they're only observing you as a friend, or in rare circumstances...a fling.

Skylar has probably done the best job of characterizing the woes of geeks - I know I certainly hit a few of those points at times. Other times I work around them pretty well... but much of the time, I'm probably not quite of interest to others as your everyday bloke is. *shrug*

I think Perl & I need to rekindle our friendship a bit more of late. [Razz] Maybe I'll hack up some Perl in a coffee shop in a few days time. [Big Grin] [hearts]

(Anything else seems to have a very low chance of working, I should figure. [Naturally, that attitude doesn't help one bit, but on the flip side, trying to hard doesn't work either. Gaaaah!])

the ones that do say what they say are married. i guess they say it because they can. but it's also nice to get a different perspective from them - as it may be shared with others.

sometimes i wonder if i'm setting of a field of intimidation. and no one wants to be near me because of that. yet there are other's who like that sort of thing. the Harry Potter - Snape boards are covered with wacko's that like his type. but i can never tell if they like the type because they read his thoughts that were all written in the book. or if there's some other reason.

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mike_INTJ
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Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 15:36      Profile for mike_INTJ     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Mochan:
LOL Firesnake

INFP
Elmo
Mad John Cash
My Pal 60%

I took those tests at OkCupid as well. There was another site I used to take tests on all the time, I forgot which one it was.

Something to do during those long boring hours at work, LOL.

[quote=Metasquares]
Of the four Myers-Briggs dichotomies, I/E is the one least likely to change because it's grounded in physiology - introverts actually have different levels of activity in different parts of their brains.

Yes. People tend towards Introvert/Extrovert for a reason: a person's genetics actually controls the amount of endorphines and other brain chemicals released in response to certain situations. That's why some people are naturally daredevils and thrillseekers (type F personality) while some naturally cower in the face of unknown, dangerous situations. That's why father and son will exhibit similar reactions to certain situations, even if their upbringings were completely different, even if the father did not raise the son.

Certainly you can change your behavior to a certain extent, but there's a reason why you behave the way you do, and it isn't all environment. People really are hard-wired to act and react in certain ways.
[/QUOTE]

with me, i don't do dare-devil stuff because i know about consequence. and when there is a fright, i tend to brush it off as a "how about that" kind of thing. but i also have fast reactions to things and can avoid many dangers.

i can't really go out into crowds. there's too much going on. it's an overload of stimulation, and i think that's more or less what Introverted is.

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uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted May 27, 2006 17:49            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
What kind of stimulation overload in your case?

I am guessing I know the feeling, or feelings ... The fear of missing out on everything going on around you, or that anything you do will get swallowed up as insignificant as everyone else also has to have their turn. Or everyone does notice and you get too much praise and glory. Or seeing all the loving and friending and realise you want your share, but that you also want to do it just with one special person instead of a crowd, or that you have mental virginity attached to other experiences you want to try out. Or just so much to take in that you feel too rushed to try it all...

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