homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam

The Geek Culture Forums


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | | search | faq | forum home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Geek Culture Forums   » Love!   » Girls, Girls, Girls!   » What is Love? (Page 1)

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!  
This topic comprises 3 pages: 1  2  3 
 
Author Topic: What is Love?
fool6000000001
Geek Larva
Member # 2761

Member Rated:
1
Icon 5 posted June 06, 2004 08:07      Profile for fool6000000001     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I am a geek. Quite a terrible one - I know about C/C++, but nothing I write of any reasonable size will compile.
I have all the same problems with lust as every other fallible human, but I have NO idea what love is, or how anyone could ever stand another human. I hate most people, and hate everyone in general, especially myself.
I am pretty ugly in my opinion, and I am extremely afraid of females, although I don't show it. Anyone claiming to like me is obviously testing my gullibility and if anyone truly did like me, they are obviously so stupid I wouldn't like them anyway.
Being 15 going on 16, I think my world view has changed a lot going through school, including becoming very cynical and learning that most people are fools and attention-seekers, including me, with my quirks and manic-depressive behaviour. I chose my nick as a statement of how the planet's population is misguided.
Perhaps later I will become more 'mature' if you will, or start to actually care what people think of me. I have come to believe from the numerous stupid films I have seen that College or University is where everyone suddenly extremely interested in the opposite gender (not opposite sex, whatever that is), and stops just dating in school for social status.
This should probably go in the rants section, but what is love? I don't think I have any, and as I'm a christian I am worried by the verse that goes something like "He that hath not love is nothing." But yeah, I guess I already knew that.
Any other geeks like me? What's your world-view?

--------------------
Food is my life. Sleep is my escape.

Posts: 21 | From: The sub-etha | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
sconzey
Assimilated
Member # 2347

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted June 06, 2004 11:21      Profile for sconzey     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Heh.

Love is not love.

There are many different types of love. The hebrew/greek in the bible refers to them in different ways.

Eros is sexual love or attraction.
Another one which I forget the word for is love of a thing.
Agape is God-type love. Undeserved love.

Is is this last type which the Bible exhorts you to have. Love thy neighbour. Love thy enemies. etc.

There is another kind of love which I failed to mention, friend-love. The love you can have of a good friend.

If you haven't got them in real life, find them online. GeekCulture contains many helpful, kind, thoughtful, passionate people (and modest too!). Just make thoughtful, witty posts and you'll do fine.

As to the C/C++. I'd have to see your code to help.

--------------------
"Violence is the last resort of the incompetent."
--Isaac Asimov

Posts: 490 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
Orpheus
Highlie
Member # 2397

Member Rated:
3
Icon 1 posted June 06, 2004 11:47      Profile for Orpheus     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Aside from the christian bit you sort of remind me of myself at that age. I didn't much like highschool, I felt alone and estranged from the world around me and to some extent still do. Alone in the crowd, amazed at the glorification of self-imposed ignorance and general frivolous nature of pop culture. Still, people need to have fun. Love is just one of those things that you have to experience for yourself. But you have to be open to it, its a dangerous risk to take. Its strange that the strength you can recieve from it requires you to be at your most vulnerable.

Just relax, learn, grow. And to quote Gandhi 'You must be the change you wish to
see in the world.'

--------------------
my cats make me crazy

Posts: 554 | From: Galveston, TX | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged
pakicetus
Single Celled Newbie
Member # 2763

Icon 1 posted June 06, 2004 12:01      Profile for pakicetus     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, I won't be any help with the C++ but I have a few ideas about lust and college.

People seem unlovable in high school for the same reason that food seems disgusting in the cafeteria--you are not being exposed to a wide enough sample. College usually helps with that.

I do think love of others, particularly agape, has to start with love for yourself, and as you are a Christian there should be plenty to encourage you in that direction. Healthy self-love also makes a person attactive to those around them. Then sooner or later you will find that lust is terrific.

My world view is that life is a lot better as part of a social web, and that the human race is worth saving.

Posts: 1 | From: Seattle, WA | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
sconzey
Assimilated
Member # 2347

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted June 06, 2004 13:02      Profile for sconzey     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ha, being a Christian and talking to a Christian I can't condone the lust bit.

I do however agree with the self-love bit. I feel everything in life is like a road, with two gutters on either side. With this, on one side there's self-hatred, which God does not condone. Then humility, where you should be, and then there's self adoration and pride. Be proud of who you are, what you look like, the choices you make, but never to the dwarfing of those around you.

--------------------
"Violence is the last resort of the incompetent."
--Isaac Asimov

Posts: 490 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
Ivan
Alpha Geek
Member # 2622

Member Rated:
3
Icon 1 posted June 06, 2004 13:28      Profile for Ivan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Alone in the crowd, amazed at the glorification of self-imposed ignorance and general frivolous nature of pop culture. Still, people need to have fun.
Add in a bit of healthy apathy and you have myself. Sometimes I feel the exact same way, but then I stop and think, "What the hell does it matter how they act. It doesn't affect me at all. I can always escape to the ethereal or go read a book." Then I feel better and resume my apathetic state. The key to making it through highschool w/o a nervous breakdown is definetely being apathetic. It's working for me.
Posts: 269 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
v01d
Mini Geek
Member # 2272

Member Rated:
3
Icon 1 posted June 06, 2004 14:53      Profile for v01d     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Love is an extreme sport, man.
You gotta sign a disclaimer before you begin.
"In case of injury or premature demise nobody's held responsible except for myself".
Sign. And you don't even know if you'd enjoy it.

Why do you even think that it's worth trying?

Every time it feels like my life sucks, the days drag along and nobody's up for a trip to Starbucks, every single time at least once there's a foggy thought of "how nice it must be to be in love". Heh, yeah, very nice indeed --- it would be so nice to refresh the memory of what "miserable" is, to remind myself how much more so it sucks to be with the wrong person than to be *alone*.

I sure will get some flak for questioning the popular misconception that "romantic love is worth having"(no matter how bad it turns out to be in the end). That's just because at any given moment in time there's always somebody in the state of romantic delusion, moreover, the closer the moment of truth - the more defensive the arguments - it's like healing cancer with denial. Sad.
Face it: the bottomline is the same - wasted time, credit card debth and emotional ditress.
Well, that's about all you get, really.

Posts: 69 | From: windy city | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
littlefish
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 966

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted June 07, 2004 01:41      Profile for littlefish   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
\sings
Baby don't hurt me, baby don't hurt me no more.

Posts: 2421 | From: That London | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
fool6000000001
Geek Larva
Member # 2761

Member Rated:
1
Icon 3 posted June 07, 2004 04:02      Profile for fool6000000001     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think you're right about the apathy bit. Without some degree of apathy life becomes unbearable. Yet although I've been brought up as a christian I still suffer most of the traits of the non-christian - I always like to quote Ecclesiastes 1:2 - "Everything is meaningless." If Solomon was the wisest guy in the world, he got one thing right.
I learnt about love in RE/RS but I'm still not convinced. I always feel really guilty about my "selfish belief", meaning that I am a christian only so I go to Heaven! Yeah, there's the possibility that it's all a scam, but there's no proof either way, its all a matter of belief. You either believe an ape-man that raves about survival of the fittest (NOOO! The geek shall inherit the earth!), or you believe there's a guy that doesn't care how pathetic you are, but loves you anyway. Surely it's only natural you choose the second!
Anyway, 'scuse me for preaching. I don't believe that "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" rubbish. It's spoonfed to you in films and magazines, but beneath the glossy exterior it's all a sham.
Thanks for your encouraging bit about finding friends online! I thought it might be just a bit of a joke when I did the geek test, read Joy of Tech and so on, but I think I won't be leaving Geek Culture for quite some time.

Me, I'm a failed computer geek, like I said. I used to like English, but then I went to school. English at school is only good for a nice nap. Being the youngest in a family of nine (yeah, I know), being a geek and being a christian, there are few people that seem to relate to me.
Ne'er moind. I've got to go to a science exam soon so peace out.

Please excuse any poor vocabulary usage and uses of colloqial clichés within this post. For examples of stupid english usage, see http://www.stewartsplace.org.uk/humour/language.html. It made me laugh, but then I'm around 78% geek.

Posts: 21 | From: The sub-etha | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
Ivan
Alpha Geek
Member # 2622

Member Rated:
3
Icon 1 posted June 07, 2004 09:22      Profile for Ivan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by littlefish:
\sings
Baby don't hurt me, baby don't hurt me no more.

/me bobs his head to littlefish's singing
Posts: 269 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Alan!
Geek
Member # 1261

Icon 12 posted June 07, 2004 11:02      Profile for Alan!     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
littlefish, that was my line!!

where did all these people come from? it feels like a new place in here. we've evolved, new lifeforms, some old and wise disciples. i love it!

--------------------
Alan!

Two rabbis, a priest, and an awkward silence after there's no intelligible punch line to this joke, walk into a bar.

Posts: 219 | From: Perth, Western Australia | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
Katie
Geek
Member # 2502

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted June 07, 2004 11:34      Profile for Katie   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Actually I view love as more as a tendency not emotion.Humans naturally enjoy the company of another human(or lifeform,object,whatever your into [Wink] )So the idea of "love"=someone who is perfect for you and will never leave you seems rather appealing.It's all about dependency...and feeling all warm and fuzzy inside [Big Grin]

--------------------
I am not the type of person to do shamless plugging,how dare you
http://freewebs.com/lordofmuffins

Posts: 183 | From: Florida land of the retired | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
sconzey
Assimilated
Member # 2347

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted June 07, 2004 12:06      Profile for sconzey     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I prefer to quote Don Francisco, "Love is not a feeling it's an act of your will."

You can love anybody. If you want to. How else do you think God loves us? [Wink]

--------------------
"Violence is the last resort of the incompetent."
--Isaac Asimov

Posts: 490 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
priscilch
Mini Geek
Member # 2727

Icon 1 posted June 07, 2004 14:19      Profile for priscilch     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, aside from the religious bit - I can tell you what I've observed over the years. Being the geek that I am, I've observed that geeks I know don't start dating until they go to college. Looking back, high school doesn't offer the same depth of people as the ones found in university. I like to think that college weed out the "dummies" from high school. And what is left, a population more likely to think for themselves.

As a social species that we are, we look for interaction, love and what nots. And one thing I've learned over time - people feed off of other people's moods. A confident person is more likely to attract someone than one who is not. Physical attractiveness is only skin deep. If you're confident, relaxed and happy as who you are, you'll attract people - be fantastically magnetic. Low self esteem shows.

Besides you're only 16. You have a lot of time. I didnt' start dating until I was 18. Just have fun wiht your friends, and focus on being happy. I bet there's a lot of things you have that you can look at and go "Wow, I have awesome friends". Be positive and strong.

Posts: 53 | From: Los Angeles, CA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
i_need_a_pillow
Geek
Member # 2765

Rate Member
Icon 1 posted June 08, 2004 04:39      Profile for i_need_a_pillow     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I recently (about a year ago) had a similar problem finishing my freshman year in high school: I had done nothing for the past three years but do all my work, participate in various school activities, worry about women (who I never got (and still don't)), eat, sleep, code HTML, and frag.

I eventually realized that that sort of life just sucked. Here were my reasons:
0. That sort of routine gets boring (except for the LAN parties ^_______^).
1. If I die, I'll have contributed nothing to this world, which is not how I would like to be remembered.
2. Simply worrying about women wasn't helping. In fact, it was distancing me even more from some friends I had at some point.
3. Trying to get straight As was a pain in the ass, just like it had been for the past ten years.

Because of all that, I changed. Now, I still do all that stuff (except the worrying, which I'll address later), but not as often, so I have more time to myself (or friends and such).

As for the worrying, I decided that since worrying and actively looking for someone wasn't working, I wouldn't do that. My new philosophy on that is more of one of apathy (as some advocate). I say that if there's someone out there for me, then we'll both know it sooner or later. Of course, it doesn't hurt to help it along with a few jokes, a bit of flirting, and helping out some of the ladies in my journalism class (more than some of our editors even though I've only done this one year).

Meh. As has been said, then, apathy helps. It's the only way I haven't burned out entirely from high school.

One other thing: Good friends seem to help out a lot more than girlfriends do (you're not as obligated to spend metric asstons of money on them...).

Posts: 104 | From: I'm here. Where else? | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
csk

Member # 1941

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted June 08, 2004 06:24      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by sconzey:
I prefer to quote Don Francisco, "Love is not a feeling it's an act of your will."

Or to quote DC Talk, Luv is a verb [Big Grin]

Seriously, I think that the "feeling sort of love" is more a consequence of the "acts of your will" sort of love than a sort of love in itself. Let me explain with a real life example. For those who don't know, my wife and I have been separated since March, and it's looking to be heading towards divorce. I've come to the point where I don't have measurable levels of loving feelings for her. However, if the opportunity presented itself to get back together, I'd be happy to do so, and to put in 100% effort into making the relationship work. If I thought romantic love (or any sort) depended on the feeling, then there's no way I'd even consider reconciliation[1], because it's just gone.

Mind you, my counseller, who's also a Christian, thinks that there's no point if I don't still have the feeling(s).

[1] I've effectively given up on reconciliation, but if Mrs csk ever changes her mind, then I'm going to remain open to giving it another try.

--------------------
6 weeks to go!

Posts: 4455 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
Aditu
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 2340

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted June 08, 2004 06:51      Profile for Aditu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Finding love in high school is very unusual. Most people find attraction and may be strong like. I do agree that it is easier for "geeks" to find love in college. At least from what I've seen. It also seems to have less to do with thinking about yourself than thinking about the other person.
Posts: 1355 | From: Osten Ard | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
fool6000000001
Geek Larva
Member # 2761

Member Rated:
1
Icon 1 posted June 08, 2004 12:39      Profile for fool6000000001     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If that is the case - that love is an act of will, then why is it portrayed so widely as a form of "cupidian" uncontrollable force? I don't know but it seems to me that people like me have perhaps been immunised against this, or subconsciously switch it off somehow.
I think the main problem is the vast difference between the genders, especially in upbringing. I have not met anyone that I remotely understand (but then again I haven't met many!).
However, despite my own views, many seem to be completely fine with the whole thing - I've even got a geeky friend who actually dated somebody from school for a while.
It must just be the way I act that shows people that I really am rather strange. Never mind, I guess that's the way I like it. And I honestly don't think college/university will be any different.
I go into "sixth form" college next year, so many of the other fools in my year will have left. I doubt it will make much difference - there will be many people that stay on that I really hate for being so successful and intelligent.
I don't really want a girlfriend. People always say they don't like girls from an early age and then mock those who don't change their mind as they become a teenager. And then as a teenager you are mocked by other teenagers and adults that seem to think they are better than you. But THEY don't have a Debian t-shirt (Mwa ha ha), and they are the hypocrites for saying one thing and doing another.
If any females here could enlighten me as to what on earth they see in men, please do. I really think we are all as bad as each other, but that probably sounds really insulting. I've always believed that calling someone a human is the worst insult you could ever give.
So. Am I weird? No, in school they thought I was strange for singing SOAD lyrics, whistling "Eine kleine Nachtmusik" and glaring at everyone, but in truth I think most of it was just my developed defense mechanism - a front to protect myself from the "others".
Am I rambling? Yes. I have a deep desire to understand the world that tortures me and I will go to any length to put it accross to anyone that may understand.
Even if I am a christian, I still have the same problems as everyone else. I am quite interested in epistemology (I like The Matrix!) and I don't think just being a christian and the content of the Bible truly explain some aspects of the world. All the philosophy I have studied has completely baffled me in that I don't understand how so many years and so many philosophers have not really surpassed the original genius of Plato.
I'm sure even several lifetimes of studying psychology, religion and philosophy could not bring anyone close the the wisdom of Solomon. Apologies, but he really seems to be the brightest chap I've heard of (except perhaps the almighty dude Einstein).

Posts: 21 | From: The sub-etha | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
GameMaster
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1173

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted June 08, 2004 13:01      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Supprised that nobody has quoted Corithians Chapter 13 yet... It is a pretty passage.

As far as the "'It is better to have loved and lost' crap" I'd just like to say that it is true, but you won't really know that until you try.

"... [I]f I asked you about
love I'd get a sonnet, but you've never
looked at a woman and been truly
vulnerable. Known that someone could
kill you with a look. That someone
could rescue you from grief.
That God had put an angel on Earth
just for you. And you wouldn't know
how it felt to be her angel. To have
the love be there for her forever.
Through anything...
And you wouldn't know
about real loss, because that only
occurs when you lose something you
love more than yourself, and you've
never dared to love anything that much."

There is only one way that you can really know that ansswer to the question you posed, and that is to try it. In all likely hood, you'll get hurt a few times and hurt people a few times, and you may become a little more cynical and maybe feel a little more alienated from this cruel world than do already at times; but until you take risk, until you stand out on a limb and give your heart over to someone, you'll never know what love really is.

Posts: 3038 | From: State of insanity | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
fool6000000001
Geek Larva
Member # 2761

Member Rated:
1
Icon 7 posted June 09, 2004 08:29      Profile for fool6000000001     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I guess you're right, but I ain't gonna!

But I’ll take my time anywhere
Free to speak my mind anywhere
And I’ll redefine anywhere
Anywhere I may roam
Where I lay my head is home

Yeah!

Posts: 21 | From: The sub-etha | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
spungo
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1089

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted June 09, 2004 08:47      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"Piff paff poff
I wanna have it off
piff paff poff
'til I cough"


--------------------
Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
GMx

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 1523

Member Rated:
4
Icon 6 posted June 09, 2004 09:01      Profile for GMx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"Bang a gong
Get it on
Right on!"

Posts: 5848 | From: S-4, Area 51 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted June 09, 2004 09:06      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I've said this before but what the hell.

My bro and I got ourselves into a bit of an epic last summer, an epic that resulted in the loss of my contacts and him very nobly leading my blind and bleeding ass up one glacier and across another so we could find a ranger with the gear to clean me up (our first aid kit wasn't going to cut it). We made it to the camp at nightfall and decided we'd rather sleep than get me cleaned up. So the next morning we woke up stiff and sore and my bro looks at me and says "I feel like shit and you look like hell," or something to that effect. That's love.

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
spungo
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1089

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted June 09, 2004 09:20      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Love is: warming the blade before it's time for her to say 'hello' to Mr Scalpel.

--------------------
Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
mephisto

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 666

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted June 09, 2004 23:36      Profile for mephisto     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Love? As i described it to someone recently, it is that which you know you have achieved when you finally find someone that you can feel about the same way you do about your work. That is of course if you are like me, a pure workaholic. since that aint gonna happen, forget about it and go back to work [Smile] and as for the lust part, you will confuse lust and love a lot during your life.....my advice, enjoy the lust and when it ends, move on, forget it existed and get back to work [Big Grin] .....
and last but not least, i have to agree with vo1d's post.

Posts: 795 | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged


All times are Eastern Time
This topic comprises 3 pages: 1  2  3 
 
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Geek Culture Home Page

© 2015 Geek Culture

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.4.0



homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam