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Author Topic: Lust or Love?
geekygoddess
Highlie
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Icon 1 posted November 11, 2008 04:05      Profile for geekygoddess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
This is just something I have pondered for years.

After a fantastic, mind-blowing, game of bowling, and you're lying there together in that great state of "euphoria" sometimes you wonder, Is it love? I know we all have been there before. What is the true test that lets you know it is love and not just lust? Is there a defining moment? [crazy]

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"It is better to press ones shirt, than ones luck"- Confucius

Posts: 661 | From: Edinburgh, United Kingdom | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged
Serenak

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Icon 1 posted November 11, 2008 06:20      Profile for Serenak     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yes there is a defining moment

it is when after a fantastic, mind-blowing, game of bowling, and you're lying there together in that great state of "euphoria" sometimes you wonder "is it really 20 years since I met this person...

But early on? I don't know when you know there is more than just lust... then again I have been with my wife nearly 11 years now... and we're still as horny as ever. If lust doesn't wear off does that make it love ???

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"So if you want my address - it's No. 1 at the end of the bar, where I sit with the broken angels, clutching at straws and nursing my scars..."

Posts: 1937 | From: Suffolk England | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
dajt
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Icon 1 posted November 11, 2008 09:27      Profile for dajt     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I dunno about a defining moment, but when it's been months since you've seen them in person, and months to go before you see them in person again, and the sound of their voice on the phone still makes your face light up with a silly grin. . . It might not be just lust.

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Posts: 98 | From: Boston MA USA | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged
Grummash

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
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Icon 1 posted November 11, 2008 12:08      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't think there can be one single defining moment that would apply to any couple, there is probably a number of possible "a-ha!" moments and each couple in love will get one of the possible 'moments'.

What I do know for sure is that "After a fantastic, mind-blowing, game of bowling, and you're lying there together in that great state of "euphoria"" is the one time, above all others, when you DON'T want to make a decision on the question 'is this love?' [Wink]

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...and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes...

Posts: 2335 | From: Lancashire,UK | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
neotatsu
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted November 11, 2008 18:03      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That's a frustrating question, to be sure. I've asked myself lots of times.

Personally.. I don't think love and lust are mutually exclusive. It sounds like Serenak is a good example of that [thumbsup]

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I'm curious... About what, you ask? EVERYTHING!

Posts: 2239 | From: Western WA | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
The real Stealth
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Icon 10 posted November 11, 2008 22:10      Profile for The real Stealth   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
There is a moment. that moment when you are a thousand miles away from them and you have a million destractions. you get on the phone with them at 7 in the evening to talk with them for an hour. what feels like an hour or to later you both decide it is time for bed and you look up and it is 5:30am. That is when you know. (does not work if the conversation is risque)

This has only happend with one person for me. We are now engaged and she is pregnant with our first kid(s) (yes possibly multiples) and we are very happy.

Damn I love her.

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The one and only "§†eal†h the Fallen One"...Between Your life And mine are Three realities, Yours, The real one, and Mine. They they form a bridge shapped in the letters D-O-_-N-O-T-_-C-R-O-S-S.

Posts: 141 | From: Battle Creek, MI | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
MTB Babe
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Icon 1 posted November 12, 2008 07:39      Profile for MTB Babe   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
This has only happend with one person for me. We are now engaged and she is pregnant with our first kid(s) (yes possibly multiples) and we are very happy.

Congratulations!

Goddess: I'm in a similar predicament myself. I've been in a relationship for 4 years now, and I have never felt really passionate about this guy. I don't really know what "love" is supposed to feel like, though, but I do know that although we live on opposite poles of the country right now I would likely be miserable if we weren't a couple. After 4 years, I still don't feel like marriage...maybe I should try bowling with him? [Smile] In any case, lust or love, don't make any drastic decisions yet (is my two cents)!

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Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ee-ana-jaad. Nayanajaad.
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Posts: 1003 | From: State College, PA, USA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

Member # 1477

Icon 1 posted November 12, 2008 16:33      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have a rule of thumb that I swear by:

Like----->Spit

Love----->Swallow

Lust----->Gargle

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
neotatsu
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted November 12, 2008 21:35      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
I have a rule of thumb that I swear by:

Like-----Spit

Love-----Swallow

Lust-----Gargle

Good answer.

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I'm curious... About what, you ask? EVERYTHING!

Posts: 2239 | From: Western WA | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
geekygoddess
Highlie
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Icon 1 posted November 13, 2008 04:17      Profile for geekygoddess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Cap'N

You are such a true romantic! [crazy]

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"It is better to press ones shirt, than ones luck"- Confucius

Posts: 661 | From: Edinburgh, United Kingdom | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged
tweety
Assimilated
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Icon 1 posted November 13, 2008 12:31      Profile for tweety   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'll throw my $0.02 in here.

I don't believe in "A" defining moment. I believe in many moments. But, if you're looking for that line in the sand, I love him/her vs. I must shag him/her at every moment, I would say that that would be a very personal switch to be flipped. To say "I realized I was in love with Mrs Tweety when 'X' happened" wouldn't do you any good.

Honestly, you'll know. And, if it's the long-term love, the one meant to last, you'll keep running into those defining moments. Now, how one makes love last is also fairly personal. But, from my own experience, and having known other couples similar to myself and Mrs Tweety, I'd say being best friends with each other is the best way to make a relationship last. Love and lust can wax and wane, but true friendship stays.

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If I were a good man I'd talk to you more often than I do.
American Fairy Tales
IT, A Philosophy

Posts: 454 | From: IL | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged


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