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Author Topic: Friends???
geekygoddess
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Icon 1 posted July 14, 2008 11:11      Profile for geekygoddess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Can you just be friends with someone of the opposite sex (that you find attractive) or, is there always going to be the whole issue of wanting to go "bowling"? And let's say you have already bowled a game or two with this person, how hard is it now to remain only friends? [crazy]

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted July 14, 2008 11:27      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by geekygoddess:
Can you just be friends with someone of the opposite sex (that you find attractive) or, is there always going to be the whole issue of wanting to go "bowling"?

While it may not be possible to completely eradicate one's bowling urges with said person, it needn't become an awkward hindrance. Only if you let it. [Wink]

quote:

And let's say you have already bowled a game or two with this person, how hard is it now to remain only friends? [crazy]

V. tough, I would have thought. Doesn't everyone want just one more frame? [Smile]

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted July 14, 2008 11:46      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
'Tis certainly possible to just be friends with members of the opposite sex. [Smile]

While there's something to be said for 'friends with benefits,' it can be an awful mindfsck and spungo probably hit the nail on the head. (On that note, it's probably a good thing that I lost a certain phone #. [Razz] )

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Colonel Panic
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Icon 1 posted July 14, 2008 18:26      Profile for Colonel Panic         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If a couple went bowling and both people weren't bowled over, then friendship, at best, is the future outcome.

Also, what if the sex is great, but there are issues outside the bedroom that keep you from being a number?

I had sex with my best friend. She is a very beautiful and sexy woman. But the sex was just ... you're my best friend.

We're still best friends. If she stays late at my house she can sleep in my bed. But we're still best friends and the sex isn't the reason why.

What we've found out is that we can go out together, and just being out together helps the other find new dates.

CP

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fs

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Icon 1 posted July 15, 2008 01:15      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by geekygoddess:
Can you just be friends with someone of the opposite sex (that you find attractive) or, is there always going to be the whole issue of wanting to go "bowling"?

Well, I can. YMMV.

quote:
Originally posted by geekygoddess:
And let's say you have already bowled a game or two with this person, how hard is it now to remain only friends? [crazy]

Not hard for me. Depends mostly on whether the other person can. Again, YMMV.

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tweety
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Icon 1 posted July 16, 2008 14:04      Profile for tweety   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It ultimately depends on how strong your friendship is. How much do you value each other as friends vs. "bowling" partners? If the friendship is paramount, I think you can remain friends, but know there will be an adjustment period.

Now, if you're good friends, and the "bowling" was excellent, you might want to consider being more than friends. But, I don't really know the situation, just sayin'.

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stringlion
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Icon 1 posted July 16, 2008 18:52      Profile for stringlion     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by geekygoddess:
Can you just be friends with someone of the opposite sex (that you find attractive) or, is there always going to be the whole issue of wanting to go "bowling"? And let's say you have already bowled a game or two with this person, how hard is it now to remain only friends? [crazy]

Well, to take things literally, I've bowled with my friends of the opposite sex all the time, even in large groups with strangers.

but seriously, the reason why I am never planning on having sex with my best friend of the opposite sex is because we both decided that it would be really weird if we did. I mean, she is really attractive, and there have been times where I was jealous of extra attention she was giving other guys, but I like things the way they are now, and don't want to mess everything up just for a little sex. But hey,if you can make it work, go ahead.

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MC43
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Icon 1 posted July 17, 2008 03:58      Profile for MC43     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hm...

Well, there is the wanting and the availability of going bowling with these people, and then there's approaching the front doors with this person, only to watch them leave you and enter with some other schmuck.

...Ok, so I harbor some resentment for one of my best friends for constantly ignoring my advances, but why wouldn't she after 6 years of friendship?

Hm... I'm not going to make this about me though. Is it possible to have a friendship without bowling? Oh yes, it is. Will the issue come up, I bet it will once or twice, but if you can overcome it, then it will only make the friendship stronger because of it. That's my view anyway...

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Aditu
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Icon 1 posted July 17, 2008 11:02      Profile for Aditu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
One of my good friends bowled with a good friend. They decided to remain friends. I think the fact that the bowling wasn't great made this easier for them.

However later boyfriends and girlfriends didn't like the fact that they had bowled, when they found out.

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Mangler
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Icon 1 posted July 21, 2008 06:36      Profile for Mangler   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
While most females find no problem in being 'just friends' with members of the opposite sex, it is quite the opposite for most men. Men just want to see you naked. If they think they have a shot at that now or even a bit further down the road, then they will attempt to make it appear as a friendship. This is poor thinking on the male behalf, btw, because we all know that odds of moving from the 'friends' list to the 'lovers' list are not in our favor.

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted July 21, 2008 09:15      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Mangler:
While most females find no problem in being 'just friends' with members of the opposite sex, it is quite the opposite for most men. Men just want to see you naked. If they think they have a shot at that now or even a bit further down the road, then they will attempt to make it appear as a friendship. This is poor thinking on the male behalf, btw, because we all know that odds of moving from the 'friends' list to the 'lovers' list are not in our favor.

CHALLENGE!
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fs

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Icon 1 posted July 21, 2008 11:32      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Mangler:
Men just want to see you naked.

Not all men.

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CommanderShroom
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Icon 1 posted July 21, 2008 11:50      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by fs:
quote:
Originally posted by Mangler:
Men just want to see you naked.

Not all men.
Yeah not all men want to see a woman naked. Some of them prefer to see other men naked.
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Mangler
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Icon 1 posted July 21, 2008 11:52      Profile for Mangler   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Precisely why I ended the previous statement with the qualifier, 'most men'... didn't feel the need to repeat it.

And it wasn't a challenge. I think that would be a waste of time to pursue that endeavor. I think the 'three date rule' is genius, personally. For those not aware, the 'three date rule' states that if you don't score on the first three dates, move on to someone else. After all, a woman decides fairly quickly whether or not she's going to sleep with you--I'm not sure if it's within the first five minutes as I commonly hear, but it is definitely within the first three dates!

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geekygoddess
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Icon 1 posted July 21, 2008 11:56      Profile for geekygoddess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I know within the first five minutes!!! [Big Grin]

But, we reserve the right to change that at any given time. [Big Grin]

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HalfVast

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Icon 1 posted July 21, 2008 12:24      Profile for HalfVast     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Geekygoddess wrote:
But, we reserve the right to change that at any given time.

And that in a nutshell is why I had to give up. [Razz]
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geekygoddess
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Icon 1 posted July 21, 2008 12:52      Profile for geekygoddess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Aghhh, HalfVast, you can't give up!!! The best things usually happen when you're not looking, or so they say. Besides, you don't wanna end up like Steen do ya??? [crazy]

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted July 21, 2008 13:09      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
HalfVast, I think she's trying to tell you something.

YOU GOT TO GET ON DAT!

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fs

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Icon 1 posted July 21, 2008 23:21      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by CommanderShroom:
quote:
Originally posted by fs:
quote:
Originally posted by Mangler:
Men just want to see you naked.

Not all men.
Yeah not all men want to see a woman naked. Some of them prefer to see other men naked.
I knew someone would pick that up and run with it. [Cool]

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BooBooKitty

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Icon 1 posted July 22, 2008 05:42      Profile for BooBooKitty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by fs:
quote:
Originally posted by CommanderShroom:
quote:
Originally posted by fs:
quote:
Originally posted by Mangler:
Men just want to see you naked.

Not all men.
Yeah not all men want to see a woman naked. Some of them prefer to see other men naked.
I knew someone would pick that up and run with it. [Cool]
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! [Big Grin]

The whole subject reminds me of the quote from "When Harry Met Sally". However, that said, I have plenty of male friends, but I would never date them. They're mostly colleague from work. And I have a general rule about "dipping the pen in corporate ink". Anyway, good luck, geekygoddes. [Smile]

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shentzu
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Icon 10 posted August 05, 2008 07:26      Profile for shentzu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
its funny, this makes me laugh every time this topic comes up....

the overwhelming majority of my friends are of the opposite gender, and i do not have, nor have i had, the desire to "bowl" with any of them. which is good, cause many are married, some are gay, and i am married, so that works well all around. [Wink]

the funniest part about the situation to me is that while many a romance discussion points out that men are often unaware that they are being hit on, even when it is with a hammer (figurative speaking) women generally know they are being hit on even when the guy thinks he isn't hitting on her and he is working hard to be in the "only friends" category!

i suspect that this is why i have a lot of female friends, is they know they can stop worrying about "bowling" coming up.....

...though i admit i am starting to like the "bowling" reference. i may have to go text the wife and ask if she wants to pick up a spare or two tonight and see what her reaction is. [Big Grin]

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alfrin
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2008 10:38      Profile for alfrin     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by geekygoddess:
Aghhh, HalfVast, you can't give up!!! The best things usually happen when you're not looking, or so they say.

Well, if you're into blindfolds that is.

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Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted August 06, 2008 00:56      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by shentzu:

...though i admit i am starting to like the "bowling" reference. i may have to go text the wife and ask if she wants to pick up a spare or two tonight and see what her reaction is. [Big Grin]

Gutter ball?

/rimshot

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted August 06, 2008 20:50      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hey...you can keep that last bit to yourself, Vic...

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shentzu
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Icon 1 posted August 07, 2008 10:58      Profile for shentzu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
the gutterball or the rimshot? [Eek!]

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