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» The Geek Culture Forums   » Love!   » All about Love!   » Broken Capillary Blues (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Broken Capillary Blues
Demosthenes
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Icon 1 posted May 20, 2006 22:39      Profile for Demosthenes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So, remember that post about the linguist and the science museum and all that insecure first-date fun? As I'm sure the question I'm about to pose here will make clear, it's going swimmingly. Anyhow, I'm meeting a new, rather important client on Monday morning and I'm seeing my parents on Tuesday, so I need a solution.

How can I expedite the healing of, er, broken capillaries on my neck? The visible ones aren't as bad as the dental records left elsewhere, but I've got some dark spots along my jugular vein that just won't go away. I tried every ridiculous YM magazine remedy that I could find, including ice, tea-bag compresses, running a comb over it, applying a paste of crushed aspirin, and rubbing it with a cold spoon. Nothing's helped significantly, and these are distinctly teeth-shaped, so the old curling iron/bar brawl/cycling accident trick won't work.

(Also, I'm getting tired of all my friends' pointing and laughing.)

A little help, then?

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted May 20, 2006 23:48      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Darling, invest in a little Physicians Formula green stick. Apply it over the hickey, to tone down the red. Then apply some concealer that's a tone or two lighter than your skin. If it's dark, it'll make the bruise look worse.

Failing that, how 'bout wearing your 2" wide dog collar to work this week (seeing as you aren't the silk neckscarf type)? [Razz]

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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Demosthenes
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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 00:55      Profile for Demosthenes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
Darling, invest in a little Physicians Formula green stick. Apply it over the hickey, to tone down the red. Then apply some concealer that's a tone or two lighter than your skin. If it's dark, it'll make the bruise look worse.

Failing that, how 'bout wearing your 2" wide dog collar to work this week (seeing as you aren't the silk neckscarf type)?

I could haul out the collar, but I'm competing with other consultants to get a fantastic steady gig, so I really do have to look professional; I mean, hell, I'm even planning on combing my hair for this! [Wink] Thus, the dog collar probably wouldn't be the best idea. I suppose that I could suck it up and wear a scarf.

If green would tone down red, what would you suggest for, say, deep bluish-purple? These are a bit less hickey and a bit more bite marks.

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TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 03:54      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Demosthenes____________________________That sounds like one bad muffler burn. Did he get your Harley started? Unless it is very hot in Boston your going to need a tall turtle neck.

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Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

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Jessycat

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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 05:49      Profile for Jessycat     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My friend's doctor gave her some topical stuff with leech extracts in it to heal the bruising after her knee surgery. It worked really really well. I'll ask her what it was called when I see her at work today.
Also, there's arnica.

P.S. wtg! [Big Grin]

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zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 07:47      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A large-sized band aid would do a great job covering up the whole mess, plus you get to come up with a wonderul story about the (alleged) deep cut near the jugular.

PS: Tell him to practice his biting techniques on one of the jar people, you can't use the band aid trick every time. [Razz]

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fs

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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 08:42      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'd say go with a mock turtleneck type thing, like so:

 -

You may feel like a numpty, but you won't lok like a chew toy, anyway. [Wink]

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Ashitaka

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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 08:55      Profile for Ashitaka     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think you're worried for nothing. I'm pretty sure the equal employment act protects you. What are they going to say? "Sorry but we don't hire people with a hicky."

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"If they're not gonna make a distinction between Muslims and violent extremists, then why should I take the time to distinguish between decent, fearful white people and racists?"

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Snaggy

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Icon 3 posted May 21, 2006 09:07      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If all else fails, go with this...

 -

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TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 09:11      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ashitaka______________________Problem with this is it, is a sales type of call, to sell her abilites to land a contract not to get hired.

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

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Ashitaka

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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 09:14      Profile for Ashitaka     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think "going muslim" is a great idea. Companies want to look diverse now days. Being a muslim woman would be a great advantage. Well, that is until they found out that you wern't muslim.

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"If they're not gonna make a distinction between Muslims and violent extremists, then why should I take the time to distinguish between decent, fearful white people and racists?"

-Assif Mandvi

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GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 09:37      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You can speed up the healing of a bruise by applying hot compresses to the area to get the blood flowing while massaging it to help break up the clotting. If the damaged blood vessels haven't healed, however, this will actually make it worse. It is also not likely to make anything disappear in two days, so you're probably stuck with high collars and concealing makeup this week.

Make sure you're getting enough vitamin C in your diet too, as that will help reduce future bruising.

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 09:50      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by FireSnake:
I'd say go with a mock turtleneck type thing, like so:

 -

You may feel like a numpty, but you won't lok like a chew toy, anyway. [Wink]

That's probably the best idea so far.

Or a nice scarf. You can get a good retro thing going if you do it right. Think Natalie Woods in Rebel Without a Cause.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
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Jessycat

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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 10:17      Profile for Jessycat     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Or one of those really great lariat necklaces they have now with big chunky beads... just wrap it around your neck a bunch of times.

EDIT: ok, looks like that topical gel I was talking about isn't from leeches; it's plain old heparin. But what do I know? Here's the link:
(auf Deutsch)

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 15:09      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Demosthenes:
Also, I'm getting tired of all my friends' pointing and laughing.

/me points, laughs [Wink]

--------------------
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zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 16:17      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Another thing - aren't linguists supposed to be sufficiently skilled with their tongues so they wouldn't have to resort to using their teeth? [Wink]
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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 16:45      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
Another thing - aren't linguists supposed to be sufficiently skilled with their tongues so they wouldn't have to resort to using their teeth? [Wink]

Yes.

/me whistles innocently

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 18:38      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
Another thing - aren't linguists supposed to be sufficiently skilled with their tongues so they wouldn't have to resort to using their teeth? [Wink]

Yes.

/me whistles innocently

All right boys and girls, I'm well aware of the fact that I'm running a huge risk of sounding like a certain Mr Reeves, but...

WHOA!

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Chesty
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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 18:53      Profile for Chesty         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If you're still sweating it - here's the thing.

Cut a potato in half. Take an ace bandage and "skrap dat tater to yer neck" Sleep with the tater applied and then be happy.

Also works for below-the-skin zits.

Now as to your behavior.....
That's just gross!

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Demosthenes
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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 20:01      Profile for Demosthenes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
Another thing - aren't linguists supposed to be sufficiently skilled with their tongues so they wouldn't have to resort to using their teeth?

Oh, his tongue has its uses, too. [Big Grin]

Really, I'm not sweating it too much at this point, since they're starting to fade; I picked up some theatrical makeup today that does a mean job of covering everything up. (For future reference, Sephora's store brand, Makeup Forever, is great.) I also had the distinct pleasure of shocking the hell out of the store staff by walking up to the counter, saying, "Can you help me out with these?" and flashing the bite marks. Jaws, meet floor.

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zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 20:04      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Demosthenes:
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
[QB] Another thing - aren't linguists supposed to be sufficiently skilled with their tongues so they wouldn't have to resort to using their teeth?/QB]

Oh, his tongue has its uses, too. [Big Grin]

Soup or stew? [evil]
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Demosthenes
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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 20:17      Profile for Demosthenes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
Soup or stew?

"I am going to show you why we insist on such precautions. On the evening of July 8th, 1981, he complained of chest pains and was taken to the dispensary. His mouthpiece and restraints were removed for an EKG. When the nurse leaned over him, he did this to her. The doctors managed to reset her jaw more or less. Saved one of her eyes. His pulse never got above 85, even when he ate her tongue." [Big Grin]
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zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 21:04      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well hello, Clarice [Big Grin]
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Demosthenes
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Icon 1 posted May 22, 2006 01:38      Profile for Demosthenes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
Well hello, Clarice

"Not in a thousand years...that's my girl."

Argh, all this talk is exacerbating my schoolgirl crush on Dr. Lecter. (He's smart, cultured, artistic, articulate, polite, and a fantastic cook...all of my favorite qualities!) Hey, stop looking at me like that... [blush]

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Thorned0Fortress
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Icon 1 posted May 22, 2006 10:12      Profile for Thorned0Fortress   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hehehe.
I'd be fun to wear a neck brace, and maybe walk on crutches.

*edit*
Pictures !!! [Big Grin]

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