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Author Topic: Wanted: Your opinions!
Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted April 05, 2006 17:50      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Something like this, Xanthine? [Wink]

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted April 05, 2006 17:57      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The boa's a bit over the top but I like the thing on her head.

I'd prefer colorful wildflowers though. I guess I never outgrew making wreaths out of honeysuckles when I was a kid.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted April 05, 2006 18:01      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
What flowers would you suggest in a headpiece for Christmas? Other than poinsettias and Christmas cactus, I mean.

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angryjungman

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 05:28      Profile for angryjungman   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
What flowers would you suggest in a headpiece for Christmas? Other than poinsettias and Christmas cactus, I mean.

Holly. Mistletoe.

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Meh.

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Jace Raven

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 05:56      Profile for Jace Raven         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
Something like this, Xanthine? [Wink]

OMG That is hideous!

I do have to agree with Xan though, The head piece is pretty nice.

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 07:31      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
$52 - 56 ea? You'd have to be fscking retarded.
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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 08:06      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yeah, which is why I said flowers on the head may not be practical. Tastefully done they're damn pretty though.

Otherwise, what jungman said. Cactus would hurt (and this is the first I've ever heard of Christams cactus) and poinsettas are too big. It should be pretty, not "OMG, WTF is she wearing on her head??". Flowers that go with your dress and bouquet might be a pretty sure bet as well.

What a complicated mess. I am NOT having a wedding. Uh uh. No way in hell.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 09:52      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Bouquet! Oh mercy, I had forgotten about that. I think I want red 'cause my sisters are going to be wearing red. (They're my bridesmaids.) Although, I could go with purple since it's the liturgical Christmas color, but it might be hard to choose a purple that would go well with my sisters' colorings. Besides, my cousin's wedding was purple. No one's done red yet.

My youngest sister was disappointed when I told her she'd be carrying a lantern, not flowers. "No calla lilies?" she mourned. So maybe I'll have a bouquet with red flowers and calla lilies to give her something to exclaim over. [Smile]

I'm NOT wearing/carrying poinsettias! [Razz]

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 10:35      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Amanda is carrying a mixture of lilacs, black eyed susans, peonies, daisies, and some sort of greenery. Including boutoneers, corsages, flowers, bouquet, blah blah blah, our bill is ~$450 CAD.

And no, there is no double standard -- I'm fucking retarded for spending that much money on flowers.

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 10:37      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I agree. Poinsettas are too big to wear or carry.

But they''d look pretty up by the altar.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 11:12      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I always thought three colors of poinsettias existed: white, red, and "jingle bell"--the red and white spotted ones. The other month, though, I proofed an ad that claimed to have 19 different colors of poinsettias!! Wow.

The three biggest expenditures for my wedding:

~Dress
~Photography
~Reception

I'm going to decorate the church with greens, most of which we should be able to get from friends' and families' woods. Hmmm... pine cones! We could spray-paint pine cones silver. That would be pretty.

Anyone have $180? I found a set of 20 lanterns (6 large, 14 small) on eBay that I'd love to have, but I can't justify the expense.

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 13:33      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
/me is still Scrooge and points out the fact that you've not been going out with him for even a year yet, nor are engaged.

Cart. Horse.

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Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 13:43      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
/me is still Scrooge and points out the fact that you've not been going out with him for even a year yet, nor are engaged.

Cart. Horse.

....add to that: I'd recommend eloping. I never saw the point of having a big hoopla and pissing away all that payola. See a JP and bank the cash for a holiday or down payment on a house.

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 14:34      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
/me is still Scrooge and points out the fact that you've not been going out with him for even a year yet, nor are engaged.

Cart. Horse.

Well, I can guarantee we'll be engaged by June. He told my mother yesterday when she asked about a ring that I'll have it within a few weeks. [Smile]

And as far as length of dating time goes, when you know, you just know. Yes, I have a bunch of family issues to work through, but he's seen the worst of them and loves me even more because of everything I've survived. Neither of us wants to spend our lives with anyone else and now that we've met, we can't imagine life without the other. Sure, we could try to wait another year, but at our ages and stage in life, why do that? We know each other well enough at this point that we can get through practically everything together. And the rest of it? We'll learn as we go. We are in weekly counseling with my pastor, a licensed counselor, and working through marriage preparation.

Jonathan has been wonderfully consistent and brutally honest through our relationship. If anyone's going to have concerns about the other person, it's him. I'm the one whose father just walked out on his second wife (although from what I hear, she gave him a great big shove), who's sustained verbal and physical abuse as a child, who's being treated for depression, who can't seem to earn enough money to cover the necessities, etc. I may not have a luxurious lifestyle if I marry Jonathan, but his care and tenderness toward me means so much more than would a huge house and all the clothes in the world.

Oh, and "cart. horse."? Why do I need another horse? You're already doing a great job being a nag! [Wink]

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 14:39      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If you two love each other so much, I really don't see the rush.

I do hope you two find a great match with each others, but do /not/ complain to me if haste makes waste.

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 14:59      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's really not a rush, dman. It's just the natural next step. Two really are better than one; there are so many more benefits to being married than living life as single people.

And remember, long, drawn-out courtships and engagements are only recent developments*. We really aren't doing anything terribly out of the ordinary. (Except maybe waiting for marriage to have sex.)

*Within the past 200 years, particularly within the Western world.

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 15:25      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
?
How many years long secret engagements has Jane Austen written about again?

Marrying for purely romantic love is also a fairly recent development, btw...

Edit: marriage itself has changed a bit in the past 200 years. 200 years ago husbands and wives didn't sleep in the same room for one thing, and in many ways they lived in completely separate worlds. Nowadays, married couples not only share bedrooms, they share beds, and society itself has changed (how many people do you know keep slaves and servants? worry about social class? and so on...). Husbands and wives spend a lot more time together and share a lot more than they once did. This is why courtships take longer. There's no room to retreat to when he or she just gets obnoxious anymore. You need to learn their tics and twitches and decide if and how you're going to live with them.

I'm actually a bit worried about this, when the time comes, because for me alone time isn't a want - it's a need. I *need* an hour or two (minimum) all to myself everyday or else I start to get really anxious and upset. It's really hard to explain that to someone without them taking it wrong though. I'm not sure my boyfriend gets it. You could get all romantic and say there's no part of me I shouldn't want to share, but 1) I have to hold onto my individuality - it's all I've got and 2) it's not about keeping secrets. Interacting wiht people for long periods of time is tiring for me. I need to recharge. I've always been like this. It's who I am.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 16:29      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I, too, am with dman. Some people tell me I've gone too fast with Amanda, and we'll have been together for nearly 2 years when we marry.

I do really wish you the best, but I sincerely think you're going far too fast.

I also agree with Cap'n Vic: in hindsight, I think I'd have rather visited a JP, paid $250, and spent all the money I've spent on my wedding on a downpayment.

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 17:00      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Heh. My parents told me that if I don't have a wedding they'll contribute towards a really kick-ass honeymoon. I love to travel, so you can guess what I want...

I do want to have a party though. But that's way in the future, and only if he decides he really wants to put up with me and my workaholism.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 17:07      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
I'm actually a bit worried about this, when the time comes, because for me alone time isn't a want - it's a need. I *need* an hour or two (minimum) all to myself everyday or else I start to get really anxious and upset.

I'm pretty much the same way, Xanth. I need downtime or I get cranky. The cool thing, at least until children come along, is the part about a relationship where the two of you can be in the same room engaged in different activities, not talking with each other, but knowing you can if you'd like to.

With my current job, though, I have downtime eight hours a day since people don't interact with me very much. I look forward to the nights Jonathan and I call each other 'cause then I have my time to connect with someone in a meaningful way.

Marriage requires sacrifice. Jonathan and I have been making some decisions together, and wow, I'm much more independent and my world is so much more centered on myself than I realized. The good thing is, we're willing to meet each other at a resolution with which we're both happy. If that requires me giving up an hour of IRC time so he can use the computer to do his homework, then so be it. During the month of April, he'll be coming down to my house at least six times. That's more than 360 miles he's putting on his car so we can be together and go to our counseling sessions. That's a big sacrifice on his part with gas being as expensive as it is.

Marriage is all about give-and-take. It works best when both parties are giving and not insisting on taking. When a marriage is other-centered, not self-centered, it grows strong and secure. Is marriage difficult? Yes. Is it worth all the effort? From what people tell me, it is. Jonathan and I are of the mindset that while life won't be perfect together, we'll work together to make it as enjoyable as possible. [Smile]

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csk

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 18:41      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
Marriage is all about give-and-take. It works best when both parties are giving and not insisting on taking. When a marriage is other-centered, not self-centered, it grows strong and secure. Is marriage difficult? Yes. Is it worth all the effort? From what people tell me, it is. Jonathan and I are of the mindset that while life won't be perfect together, we'll work together to make it as enjoyable as possible. [Smile]

This is as good a picture as you can hope for going into marriage, in my opinion. (Both) keep this perspective and you'll go far, IMO.

The biggest danger I see, speaking from personal experience, is that when one doesn't want to have sex outside of marriage it can tend to rush things along more. However, I'm pretty sure Rhonwyyn has her head right about this, because I've kept drumming it into her over and over on IM.

And yes, marriage doesn't mean no alone time. Separate interests and time are important, because it gives you something to talk about etc when you get back together again.

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6 weeks to go!

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quantumfluff
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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 19:48      Profile for quantumfluff     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
What flowers would you suggest in a headpiece for Christmas? Other than poinsettias and Christmas cactus, I mean.
... Holly. Mistletoe.

I'm thinking a Mistletoe codpiece is a great idea for the groom.
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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 20:15      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by quantumfluff:
quote:
What flowers would you suggest in a headpiece for Christmas? Other than poinsettias and Christmas cactus, I mean.
... Holly. Mistletoe.

I'm thinking a Mistletoe codpiece is a great idea for the groom.
Or for the geeks among us:

 -

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 20:18      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Gah!

Oh wow. I did not need to see that.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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maia
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Icon 1 posted April 06, 2006 20:18      Profile for maia     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
OMG, that's just freaky.
What are you even doing looking at stuff like this, Rhonnie? Getting ideas for the honeymoon. [ohwell]

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