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Author Topic: Is it really so..
Ugurcan

Member # 4746

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Icon 1 posted February 05, 2006 10:07      Profile for Ugurcan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship." Oscar Wilde

When I first read that quote, it made me think about some of my past affairs. Should it be really impossible?

When a woman tells you that it is best to stay friends, does it always mean that friendship is over too?

I have a similar situation at hand, and I need to hear something uplifting at the moment.. [cry baby]

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"Constants aren't, Variables won't..."

Posts: 219 | From: Under a 110 ft satellite dish... | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
Bibo
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 1959

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Icon 1 posted February 05, 2006 10:30      Profile for Bibo   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
When a woman tells you it's best to be friends it's usually her way of saying the relationship is over but want to say it that way to make it hurt less.

On the flip-side I am best friends with my wife. Oscar Wilde just sounds bitter.

Posts: 1641 | From: Grand Rapids, MI | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted February 05, 2006 10:37      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ugurcan,

I believe that men and women can be friends. But only before a romantic relationship, not after. To me there is way too much baggage to switch from lovers to just pals. And one person will always have a romantic notion in their head. Whether or not they admit it to them or others.

Now I have some females in my life, that are fantastic friends. And I am so glad that they are around. But I have had times where I made the attempt to be friends after a relationship has occured. And they failed miserably.

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Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2465 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
niniel
Geek Apprentice
Member # 4430

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Icon 1 posted February 05, 2006 11:42      Profile for niniel   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by CommanderShroom:
Ugurcan,

I believe that men and women can be friends. But only before a romantic relationship, not after.

Agreed.

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Uno no está listo para vivir si no está listo para morir.
_,_,·~

Posts: 47 | From: Honduras | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged
Grummash

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 4289

Icon 1 posted February 05, 2006 14:14      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ugurcan - take heart! All is not lost!

I am going to throw my two cents into the pot, and on this occaision I find myself disagreeing with commandershroom, and that doesn't happen often. [Smile]

Before I met the beloved Mrs Grummash, I had a relationship which was very intense, very deep, but also very doomed. [Frown] We knew each other as friends before, and still know each other as friends afterwards.

The friendship we have now is enhanced by the history we have together, not threatened by it. Admittedly, we don't see each other very often, but I cannot imagine a situation where our past relationship meant we couldn't enjoy each other's company.

It might not work very often, but it certainly can work, and it is nice when it does. [Smile]

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...and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes...

Posts: 2335 | From: Lancashire,UK | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged
Demosthenes
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 530

Icon 1 posted February 05, 2006 15:37      Profile for Demosthenes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Ugurcan:
Should it be really impossible?

When a woman tells you that it is best to stay friends, does it always mean that friendship is over too?

No, and no.

Perhaps you should refer to the Gender Bender thread for more women talking about how guys often make better friends than girls?

Lots of people mean it when they say "Let's be friends," by the way. I know I always do, and as such, I'm still buddies with most of my exen. Don't write off a future friendship just because you're feeling upset right now.

Posts: 1349 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
Callipygous
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted February 05, 2006 16:21      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think that Oscar Wilde quote is like most of his aphorisms, very memorable, clever and of great appeal to smart arse adolescent boys, but having very little insight or truth to it. Personally I have very few strong relationships with men outside my immediate family, and I much prefer the company of women. I hope some of them are friends!

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"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

Posts: 2922 | From: Brighton - UK | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted February 05, 2006 17:42      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm friends with two women I've had relationships with and it's actually very cool to have friends who know and understand you that well. I always get the best advice about emotional issues from them.

On the other hand, several other ex-girlfriends would probably be happy to apply jumper cables and a car battery to my happy parts.

I think the determining factors are how the breakup occurred and whether both people can agree on being just friends. If the breakup was nasty or one of the people can't accept being just friends, it's not likely to work out.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
maia
Alpha Geek
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Icon 1 posted February 05, 2006 18:04      Profile for maia     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I told my current boyfriend we could only be friends because when I met him I was already seeing someone else, but after a while I remedied that situation. [Wink]

And I'm still friends with my ex and even his new woman. Everybody just has to be an adult about it.

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Nothing is too petty to be thoroughly discussed.

Posts: 316 | From: United States | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged


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