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Author Topic: here's a situation...
Dr Watson
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Icon 1 posted January 28, 2006 20:06      Profile for Dr Watson     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
When I introduced myself here I mentioned that I've never dated. So that's means I lack experience in the area and had a question.

I finally saved up enough courage to ask a friend of mine, who happens to be the girl of my dreams, to my schools prom. (We've known each other for a few years through a Venture Crew.) She said she'd love to go with me without hesitation, but I did the stupid, yet safe, thing of asking if we could go as friends. So I'm wondering what my chances are of starting a steady relationship with her. Or did I screw things up by saying, "as friends?"- maybe she just wants to go for the sake of going to a prom... or maybe was too nice to turn me down. Lastly I wonder if she accepted for the sake of going with ME; I'm probably over-analizing this by far, but has anyone been in this situation?

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Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

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CloneArmyCommander
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Icon 1 posted January 28, 2006 20:54      Profile for CloneArmyCommander     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
When I introduced myself here I mentioned that I've never dated. So that's means I lack experience in the area and had a question.

I finally saved up enough courage to ask a friend of mine, who happens to be the girl of my dreams, to my schools prom. (We've known each other for a few years through a Venture Crew.) She said she'd love to go with me without hesitation, but I did the stupid, yet safe, thing of asking if we could go as friends. So I'm wondering what my chances are of starting a steady relationship with her. Or did I screw things up by saying, "as friends?"- maybe she just wants to go for the sake of going to a prom... or maybe was too nice to turn me down. Lastly I wonder if she accepted for the sake of going with ME; I'm probably over-analizing this by far, but has anyone been in this situation?

Sounds like everything is going smoothly to me. The first time I went anywhere with any girl, I went as "just friends" with her to see Revenge of the Sith.

It wasn't until a few days after, when we were talking on the phone we looked back and it came up, "Was that our first date?"

I'm still with her [Wink] .

Patience [Big Grin] . Just see how things go, and if it the subject comes up of whether or not it's a date, go with it. If not, tell her how much you enjoyed being with her, remember to speak from the heart, and ask her if she wants to go some place, maybe to see a movie, or have lunch some other time.

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TMBWITW,PB

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Icon 1 posted January 28, 2006 21:41      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I went to a dance as "just friends" with someone in high school. We talked the entire time about every subject imagineable. And when we danced the electricity was amazing. Less than a week later he was officially my boyfriend. We had a really good relationship for close to nine months. I might have married him if it weren't for his mother. Saying "just friends" for a dance doesn't ruin any chances, don't worry.

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"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
óMiss Piggy

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TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted January 29, 2006 09:53      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Dr Watson______________________So you asked this young lady to a Prom, and she responded in the affirmative that she would like to go with you, if she has not contacted you to cancel then by all means take the young lady and be a gentleman and escort her accordingly. What happens after that we do not know, as it has not happened, but do go and try to curb your mouth from getting ahead of your brain.

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Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

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MacManKrisK

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Icon 1 posted January 29, 2006 11:00      Profile for MacManKrisK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Listen to these people, they're smart. Also, don't try to overthink this stuff. If I've learned anything in almost 2 years of being with Stephanie it's that some things just arn't thinking things.

Love (romantic love, anyway) and logical thought don't mix, they're like oil and water. You just need to let go of the geeky urge to "think it out" and just go with the flow. If it feels right, go for it.

Edit: also... if you overthink this stuff, all you'll wind up with is a sorrowful list of missed chances, and that's the last thing you want!

--------------------
"Buy low, sell high
get rich and you still die"


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Dr Watson
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Icon 1 posted January 29, 2006 12:32      Profile for Dr Watson     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
ok, thanks guys, it's very re-assuring

I agree with you, MacManKrisK, I know what you mean about the sorrowful missed opportunities, I've been good at that. I think this is an opportunity to change my ways, I'll just go with the flow. We have been chatting via email and stuff, I think things are gonna go okay. (Then watch my car die on prom night [Big Grin] [ohwell] )

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Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

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zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted January 29, 2006 12:47      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
(Then watch my car die on prom night [Big Grin] [ohwell] )

Or, worse yet, we can all watch you forget to get your hands on some roofies right before the said prom [evil]
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Grummash

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Icon 1 posted January 29, 2006 13:20      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
Then watch my car die on prom night

That might not be a complete failure, with a little imagination..... [evil]

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...and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes...

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zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted January 29, 2006 13:25      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Grummash:
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
Then watch my car die on prom night

That might not be a complete failure, with a little imagination..... [evil]
Especially if he follows my advice [evil]
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CloneArmyCommander
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Icon 1 posted January 29, 2006 15:55      Profile for CloneArmyCommander     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
quote:
Originally posted by Grummash:
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
Then watch my car die on prom night

That might not be a complete failure, with a little imagination..... [evil]
Especially if he follows my advice [evil]
[shake head] . . . .

Just listen to your heart. . . MacManKrist has the right idea, going with the flow. . . and be a gentleman.

Good luck [Big Grin] ! Let us know how things go [Big Grin] .

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Wick
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Icon 1 posted January 29, 2006 16:47      Profile for Wick     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I might have married him if it weren't for his mother.

Really? Can someone's mother be that bad? Enough to ruin a relationship?
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TMBWITW,PB

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Icon 1 posted January 29, 2006 16:52      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I can unequivocally say yes. Especially when he doesn't want to disappoint his family.

--------------------
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
óMiss Piggy

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csk

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Icon 1 posted January 29, 2006 17:44      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Wick:
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I might have married him if it weren't for his mother.

Really? Can someone's mother be that bad? Enough to ruin a relationship?
Yes. Yes. And absolutely yes.

I won't go through the entire sordid affair, but trust me, if you have issues with their parents from the get go, it will only get worse as time goes on and you get more serious...

--------------------
6 weeks to go!

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Wick
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Icon 1 posted January 30, 2006 03:51      Profile for Wick     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
quote:
Originally posted by Wick:
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I might have married him if it weren't for his mother.

Really? Can someone's mother be that bad? Enough to ruin a relationship?
Yes. Yes. And absolutely yes.

I won't go through the entire sordid affair, but trust me, if you have issues with their parents from the get go, it will only get worse as time goes on and you get more serious...

I agree 100%.

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-= "There comes a time in a man's life when he must roll the dice and except the outcome" =-

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted January 30, 2006 06:43      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
ok, thanks guys, it's very re-assuring

I agree with you, MacManKrisK, I know what you mean about the sorrowful missed opportunities, I've been good at that. I think this is an opportunity to change my ways, I'll just go with the flow. We have been chatting via email and stuff, I think things are gonna go okay. (Then watch my car die on prom night [Big Grin] [ohwell] )

-ct-? Is that you?

*grin*

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Grey_girl

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Icon 1 posted January 30, 2006 07:30      Profile for Grey_girl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
quote:
Originally posted by Wick:
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I might have married him if it weren't for his mother.

Really? Can someone's mother be that bad? Enough to ruin a relationship?
Yes. Yes. And absolutely yes.

I won't go through the entire sordid affair, but trust me, if you have issues with their parents from the get go, it will only get worse as time goes on and you get more serious...

Or the reverse could be true. A good relationship with your partner's family can keep a romantic relationship going long past when it should have ended. I know. I wound up marrying the guy. Thankfully I came to my senses and still enjoy my relationships with his family (having a child with SlugBoy helped with that).
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TheGirlWonder
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Icon 1 posted January 31, 2006 09:39      Profile for TheGirlWonder         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Don't worry about whether it's "a date" or "just friends", just have fun with her. [Wink] Sometimes the best (and least complicated) thing to be is just friends - at least until you're both totally sure you want to be more than that.
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CloneArmyCommander
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Icon 1 posted January 31, 2006 09:48      Profile for CloneArmyCommander     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by TheGirlWonder:
Don't worry about whether it's "a date" or "just friends", just have fun with her. [Wink] Sometimes the best (and least complicated) thing to be is just friends - at least until you're both totally sure you want to be more than that.

She certainly knows what she's talking about [Big Grin] . Just have fun [Wink] .
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Democritus the Minor
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Icon 1 posted January 31, 2006 11:45      Profile for Democritus the Minor     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Wick:
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I might have married him if it weren't for his mother.

Really? Can someone's mother be that bad? Enough to ruin a relationship?
kee-reist, yes. hell, my first relationship was ruined by her sister... what a bitch...

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We are 1447. We are better than 1337.

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Dr Watson
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Icon 1 posted January 31, 2006 16:27      Profile for Dr Watson     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'll bear all that in mind. Thanks again. Too bad my prom isn't gonna be 'till March lol [ohwell]

--------------------
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

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shane_the_god_of_my_room
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Icon 1 posted February 16, 2006 13:07      Profile for shane_the_god_of_my_room   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Grey_girl:
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
quote:
Originally posted by Wick:
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I might have married him if it weren't for his mother.

Really? Can someone's mother be that bad? Enough to ruin a relationship?
Yes. Yes. And absolutely yes.

I won't go through the entire sordid affair, but trust me, if you have issues with their parents from the get go, it will only get worse as time goes on and you get more serious...

Or the reverse could be true. A good relationship with your partner's family can keep a romantic relationship going long past when it should have ended. I know. I wound up marrying the guy. Thankfully I came to my senses and still enjoy my relationships with his family (having a child with SlugBoy helped with that).
WHAT!!!

tell you what my family wouldnt stop me
they'ed like it or lump it [Mad]
its your life live it how you feel you should

mind you I am 26
and I did move out at 19 [evil]

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Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

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MandysRad
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Icon 1 posted February 16, 2006 20:06      Profile for MandysRad   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Everyone has the right idea. Just as friends is not a bad thing and in fact it is best to start all relationships just as friends. You deffinately build a more solid foundation from that.

--------------------
{insert something witty}

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Astronomer Jedi
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Icon 1 posted February 17, 2006 00:24      Profile for Astronomer Jedi   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Grey_girl:
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
quote:
Originally posted by Wick:
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I might have married him if it weren't for his mother.

Really? Can someone's mother be that bad? Enough to ruin a relationship?
Yes. Yes. And absolutely yes.

I won't go through the entire sordid affair, but trust me, if you have issues with their parents from the get go, it will only get worse as time goes on and you get more serious...

Or the reverse could be true. A good relationship with your partner's family can keep a romantic relationship going long past when it should have ended. I know. I wound up marrying the guy. Thankfully I came to my senses and still enjoy my relationships with his family (having a child with SlugBoy helped with that).
My two cents.

My cousin's boyfriend isn't too popular amongst our family. He hardly ever talks to anyone and we all think he's slime. Before he started going out with Sarah, he had been out with several other girls in their group. It's all very incestuous, yuk. He has his checklist and plan, etc and we can all tell that he's a big manipulator. Anyway, he makes no effort whatsoever to talk to us, especially my cousin's dad. My cousin's family had a big fight over the whole matter last week because my aunty said he could stay over in my cousin's room without asking my uncle. Bad news, that was.

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Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?

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Dr Watson
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Icon 1 posted March 26, 2006 14:52      Profile for Dr Watson     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, to conclude a story, the prom was awesome. I didn't say/ do anything stupid. (Well, other than the fact that I told her I love looking at refrigerators at Best Buy...)

At first I felt a little shot down before this. I asked her out a few times. Politely rejected. Was given reasons for each time, she said she was currently too busy for a b/f. But I figured it being a polite way of saying no. So I didn't dare ask again. But then we decided to go to my home school prom too... so maybe it's not over. Perhaps she seriously is too busy with job & school. (She's in a ton of school clubs also.) Is this a common scenario?

--------------------
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

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zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted March 26, 2006 15:56      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Watson:
Is this a common scenario?

This is pretty damn uncommon, if you ask me. The common scenario would've been along the lines of "get away from me, you fridge-obsessed freak!" followed by a quick kick in the nads. [evil]
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