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Author Topic: I am a geek..so what should I do ??
Nice hearty boy
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Icon 1 posted November 21, 2005 05:24      Profile for Nice hearty boy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi I'm Sunny..new boy on this forum.
I look good..wear fationable clothes..try to be nive with everybody

In my college, most of the girls think that I'm a geek and very 'hi-fi' kinda person. The girl I like talks to me only about studies and nothing alse. I've seen that girls even talk(and pay nice heed) to other boys. Why not me..I carry XDA O2 mini phone and I'm always in it. Is that the reason they avoid me..In addition whenever there's a discussion going on on a computer-related topic I give very hi-fi answers. I dunno whats going wrong.

Guys and Girls please tell me the areas u want me to improve in.

Sunny
18 y,m

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I like nice-hearted people..and I hate who r narssictic

Posts: 1 | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted November 21, 2005 06:20      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Nice hearty boy:
Hi I'm Sunny..new boy on this forum.
I look good..wear fationable clothes..try to be nive with everybody

In my college, most of the girls think that I'm a geek and very 'hi-fi' kinda person. The girl I like talks to me only about studies and nothing alse. I've seen that girls even talk(and pay nice heed) to other boys. Why not me..I carry XDA O2 mini phone and I'm always in it. Is that the reason they avoid me..In addition whenever there's a discussion going on on a computer-related topic I give very hi-fi answers. I dunno whats going wrong.

Guys and Girls please tell me the areas u want me to improve in.

Sunny
18 y,m

I think the word you're looking for in your sig is narcissistic -- someone who has an unhealthy love for themselves.

Are you outgoing? Do you make an effort to initiate conversation with these girls that you have an interest in? Conversation that doesn't mention your newest gadget or anything technical?

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
YaYawoman

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Icon 1 posted November 21, 2005 07:22      Profile for YaYawoman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You really shouldn't be asking us about what improvements you need. You are going to have to dig into your own self and do it on your own. Otherwise it is just a shortcut and will only lead you down a dead end. Good luck.
Posts: 765 | From: virginia | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
CloneArmyCommander
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Icon 1 posted November 21, 2005 09:49      Profile for CloneArmyCommander     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Nice hearty boy:
Hi I'm Sunny..new boy on this forum.
I look good..wear fationable clothes..try to be nive with everybody

In my college, most of the girls think that I'm a geek and very 'hi-fi' kinda person. The girl I like talks to me only about studies and nothing alse. I've seen that girls even talk(and pay nice heed) to other boys. Why not me..I carry XDA O2 mini phone and I'm always in it. Is that the reason they avoid me..In addition whenever there's a discussion going on on a computer-related topic I give very hi-fi answers. I dunno whats going wrong.

Guys and Girls please tell me the areas u want me to improve in.

Sunny
18 y,m

Be patient. I promise that is all it takes. I used to be right where you are, and I used to wonder what it was that I was doing wrong. It isn't that bad, it just means that your special some one hasn't come along yet, but she's out there looking for you.

I didn't find my first girlfriend until my first year of college. I am now in my third year, and we are closer than ever.

There are girls out there who find us geeks to be interesting and cute.

If you are asking yourself, "What do I need to change?" You are certainly going down the wrong path. If you have to change who you are in order to be with a girl, then you are with the wrong girl.

Patience [Big Grin] . Keep faith. She's out there.

Posts: 101 | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted November 21, 2005 18:14      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't have any hard evidence prove it, but I suspect terms used to sell audio equipment in the 70's might not be the best way to attract women, so you could probably try not using the term "hi-fi" quite so often.

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Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
alfrin
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Icon 1 posted November 21, 2005 18:48      Profile for alfrin     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Make them laugh, don't try for the "smart" because that rarely works at that age group.
But, don't ask me, I only get obsessive girls stalking and harrasing me. I might lead you to hell. [Wink]

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Art is Resistance / Resistance is Art

Posts: 813 | From: Nevada, USA | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted November 21, 2005 19:02      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Nice hearty boy:
Hi I'm Sunny..new boy on this forum.
I look good..wear fationable clothes..try to be nive with everybody

In my college, most of the girls think that I'm a geek and very 'hi-fi' kinda person. I give very hi-fi answers. I dunno whats going wrong.

Guys and Girls please tell me the areas u want me to improve in.

Sunny
18 y,m

<south park>
Mr Nice hearty boy, this is GC Police. Please come out of the closet.
</south park>

Posts: 1094 | From: Boston | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
GameMaster
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Icon 1 posted November 21, 2005 20:30      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
To sum up everything thats been said:

Thing you can change:
- How willing you are to step outside your confortzone
- Stop using "high fidelity" to mean things it doesn't... Infact, stop using the word hi-fi all together.
- Change where you look... It may be that your "typical haunts" don't expose you to enough of the fairer sex... It could be that the members of the oppisite sex at the places you "hang in" aren't intrested in the same things you are. Try bookstores (look for girls the same place you'd find books about things your intrested... gives you a conversation starter and at least one shared intrest), cafe's with social events (poetry, music, book signings).

Things not to change:
- Who you are. Don't try to be someone your not.
- Remeber that 90% of what you say is non-verbal. It's not what you say, but how you say it. (P.S. 99.632% of all statistics are made up)

Be confident, but not arrogant. Be funny, but don't force it. Take an intrest in the people your intrested in, learn who they really are; but, be fair and share a little bit about yourself too. Keep it light, keep it fun and for petes-sake don't think so much about it (or you'll go crazy trying to cover all the "what ifs"),

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My Site

Posts: 3038 | From: State of insanity | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
serishema
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Icon 1 posted November 21, 2005 23:35      Profile for serishema     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't know if other girls are the same but if i see a guy I think is interesting with a PDA in hand or their nose in a laptop, I assume they're busy and won't approach.

Make sure you're acknowledging her presence but without looking like you're drooling. Try to be subtle and do it to everyone so you seem sociable. (At least in my opinion) Us girl geeks are pretty picky. After a couple of years of Computer Science and having to put up with borderline sexual harrasment you end up wary of guys. So usually i sort guys into 3 different categories; being social/friendly, asking a technical question and drooling. You want to be in the first one. Given my experiences in this realm I don't err on the side of giving the benifit of the doubt, but your milage may vary.

The point i'm trying to make is your body language probably matters *more* with geek girls than other girls, not less.

oh yeah, and if you try to act a cirtain way to impress girls they'll pick it and run a mile. Be yourself.

Posts: 42 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted November 22, 2005 06:18      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by GameMaster:

Be confident, but not arrogant. Be funny, but don't force it. Take an intrest in the people your intrested in, learn who they really are; but, be fair and share a little bit about yourself too. Keep it light, keep it fun and for petes-sake don't think so much about it (or you'll go crazy trying to cover all the "what ifs"),

Reminds me of Ocean's Eleven.

- You look down, they know you're lying -- you look up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't, under any circumstances...
- Rusty?
- Yeah?
- Can you take a look at this for a minute?
- Sure. *leaves*

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
alfrin
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Icon 1 posted November 22, 2005 06:34      Profile for alfrin     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by GameMaster:

Things not to change:
- Who you are. Don't try to be someone your not.
- Remeber that 90% of what you say is non-verbal. It's not what you say, but how you say it. (P.S. 99.632% of all statistics are made up

Actually that isn't too far off the button (I think it's 94% or something, I'll ask again today in communications)
Seriously
If you look nervous, they won't take you seriously, same if you <i>sound</i> nervous
Body Language and Tone make up 94% of communications. You actually talking only makes up 6% of it.
I agree, drop the HiFi

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Art is Resistance / Resistance is Art

Posts: 813 | From: Nevada, USA | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged
Wick
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Icon 1 posted November 22, 2005 07:21      Profile for Wick     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
From what I can tell girls like a sense of humor. Laughter can make anyone feel good and lighten the mood. Try using some witty humor based on the location and situation you are meeting/talking to the female. If this doesn't really come natually to you then perhaps you should avoid it since it may sound too forced and fake. Then again I overthink every situation and thus it will cause my downfall.

yeah and don't use hi-fi...that would even disturb satan.

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-= "There comes a time in a man's life when he must roll the dice and except the outcome" =-

Posts: 80 | From: OH | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
Elvermere
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Icon 1 posted November 22, 2005 17:39      Profile for Elvermere     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Phew! Well done Wick. I'm glad someone mentioned humour.

Humour is the primary display of your personality at work. Women (actually people) are looking for someone who makes them feel good - at least initially. So being able to use humour is an absolute must. If you need any more convincing, how many times do you see "GSOH" in personal ads.

<aside>
Having said that though, I don't believe that "long walks along beaches" is necessary to commence a relationship
</aside>

And when I say humour, it is not about cracking jokes. It's about being able to find humour in common place things that your potential partner understands and also finds humourus. My wife and I knew we were destined to be together when she realised that all she had to do is quote a Garfield comic and I can complete the next couple of frames.

Now I've finished that bit there are other things you can try - in no particular order

* Change social circles - This may not mean trying something new, but simply change clubs, try a different library. I find that people that you have been around for a while tend to pigeon hole you into "not bf material" and no matter how you mature/grow/change it will remain that way. But please DO NOT CHANGE THAT WHICH MAKES YOU WHO YOU ARE!

* Be willing to acknowledge differences - So they are not a geek. You don't HAVE to find a geek. In fact, so long as they have a similar level of intellect you can teach them about geekiness and they can teach you about philosophy, art, literature or economics.

* Have fun - Even if you know it doesn't work out, enjoy the experience (in a more than physical sense - I do know the minds on this forum). Learn what you can about the fairer sex and most importantly about yourself.

* DON'T STRESS - Just because everyone is dating doesn't mean that you have to. I've been happily married for five years and know my wife for six years prior to that. Prior to this I had a single GF. Why? Because I saw the dating scene as too contrived, artificial and lacking in meaningful communication. I certainly had many female friends (some who told me later that they wish that I had dated them) so it's not necessary to date everyone.

Man, what an essay! It has been a while since posting, so I guess I am making up for it.

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Duct Tape is like the force.
It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

Posts: 113 | From: Perth, West AU | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged
TheGirlWonder
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Icon 1 posted November 29, 2005 21:30      Profile for TheGirlWonder         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Nice hearty boy:
Hi I'm Sunny..new boy on this forum.
I look good..wear fationable clothes..try to be nive with everybody

In my college, most of the girls think that I'm a geek and very 'hi-fi' kinda person. The girl I like talks to me only about studies and nothing alse. I've seen that girls even talk(and pay nice heed) to other boys. Why not me..I carry XDA O2 mini phone and I'm always in it. Is that the reason they avoid me..In addition whenever there's a discussion going on on a computer-related topic I give very hi-fi answers. I dunno whats going wrong.

Guys and Girls please tell me the areas u want me to improve in.

Sunny
18 y,m

It sounds to me like you might be trying just a tad too hard. Just relax, be yourself, and try not to be too extreme. [Wink] Be confident. Your special someone will come along when you least expect it.

It took me fifteen years to meet my sweetheart, and another two to date him. I (and sooooooo many other girls) don't mind the geeky type at all, as long as he's not extreme and doesn't talk about stuff that's way over my head.

Posts: 30 | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
shane_the_god_of_my_room
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Icon 1 posted December 14, 2005 05:49      Profile for shane_the_god_of_my_room   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I recommend beer and nakedness [evil] [evil]

failing that just do what thegirlwonder said
[thumbsup]

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Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

Posts: 33 | From: Wakefield UK | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
kabukisensei
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Icon 1 posted December 14, 2005 06:04      Profile for kabukisensei   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Women (actually people) are looking for someone who makes them feel good
women are people? lol...that's a good one [Smile]
/duck

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Not everyone who wanders is lost.
http://www.aaronrules.com

Posts: 14 | From: tampa | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
Pamela
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Icon 1 posted January 05, 2006 21:47      Profile for Pamela     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Making a woman laugh is a very good thing, so is confidence, and a happy guy geek who loves what he is doing is a big turn on.

I hope you meet a girl who is just as much into gadgets as you are. Having things in common helps spur on conversation, so maybe you need to look where you might have something in common with another girl?

Posts: 2 | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
fs

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Member # 1181

Icon 1 posted January 05, 2006 22:18      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have a sneaking suspicion that Nice hearty boy was a one-post wonder.

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I'm in ur database, makin' moar recordz.

Posts: 1973 | From: The Cat Ship | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ugurcan

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Icon 1 posted January 05, 2006 23:35      Profile for Ugurcan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Wait a couple more years until your hormones start leaking from your ears, and you'll figure out a way... [Wink]

Joking aside, I'm a real disaster on these matters, but I can safely say these; Just be yourself, try to avoid techno-babble, be nice and be fun. Period.

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"Constants aren't, Variables won't..."

Posts: 219 | From: Under a 110 ft satellite dish... | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged
fs

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 1181

Icon 1 posted January 06, 2006 09:26      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Ugurcan:
Joking aside, I'm a real disaster on these matters, but I can safely say these; Just be yourself, try to avoid techno-babble, be nice and be fun. Period.

Aw, but you are such a cutie! I'd think women would be willing to overlook less than suave conversation from you.

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I'm in ur database, makin' moar recordz.

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Wolfie001
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Icon 1 posted January 20, 2006 14:48      Profile for Wolfie001     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
RUN! J/k But things went Verry well online, and on the phone talking for 40 hours per week some times... i moved 2,000 miles and it blew up in my face, now i'm stuck off in BFE and yeah... i Realy hope it all works out
Posts: 5 | From: Alva OK | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
Angel Devoid v3
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Icon 1 posted January 22, 2006 21:48      Profile for Angel Devoid v3   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
so woolfie first you say

quote:
Originally posted by Wolfie001:
I moved here from washington and know No one. if this dosent work, i'm gonna sit out side the library with a sign that says i need friends j/k but i'v thought about it.... a few times...

now you comment on moving there to have some sort of relationship with someone and it blew up in your face... yet you claimed to "know no one"

make up my mind?

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I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.

Posts: 38 | From: Western NY | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged


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