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Author Topic: Dates From Hell
Nitrozac

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Icon 11 posted February 13, 2005 20:46      Profile for Nitrozac   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You've had them, I've had them, we've all had them... Dates From Hell. Here's one example I can think of.

No dates are worse than the arranged date. When I was about 16 or 17, my friend's boyfriend's friend apparently wanted to meet me really badly. I was apprehensive, but my friend nagged me to no end, and she said this guy wanted to meet me so bad, and she said he was really super nice, and stuff. So, I finally agreed to meet him.

It was at the small town's Rodeo, where the dreaded meeting accurred. I don't remember what his name was, but anyway, we met. I was expecting an ordinary guy, who was probably too shy to introduce himself. I think the meeting happened in front of the perogy booth. My friend introduced us, and well, I was horrified to say the least. He kinda looked like Wayne in Wayne's World, but with really greasy hair, and unshaven face, and a baseball hat that had "Pussy Patrol" in large bold letters on it.

Lacking tact, I turned around to my friend and said "Pussy Patrol! Pussy Patrol!!!! You think I'd want to hang out with a guy with Pussy Patrol on his hat!!!?????" I walked away shocked and stunned. Did she really think I'd walk around in front of the whole town at the rodeo with a guy who was a part of the Pussy Patrol?! Didn't it occurr to my friend, who I thought was a nice girl, to tell that guy to perhaps remove his hat? It boggled my young mind.

After that set-up I, my friend and I didn't really get along very well, I think she thought I was snooty. After a while had passed, I found it pretty funny, and that incident set my standard of not letting my friends set me up with anyone.

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Zim'et
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Icon 1 posted February 13, 2005 21:41      Profile for Zim'et         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My friend also set me up with a friend of her boyfriend. She said he was really cute, and I thought her boyfriend was gorgeous, so i trusted her taste. To say the least he was nowhere near gorgeous, and to top it off he didn't say three words to me all night. I was offended, even when she said he was just nervous and shy. That was the end of my blind dates. Bowling sucks too.

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3 2 1... Let's Jam

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Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted February 13, 2005 21:49      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Nitrozac:
No dates are worse than the arranged date. When I was about 16 or 17, my friend's boyfriend's friend apparently wanted to meet me really badly. I was apprehensive, but my friend nagged me to no end, and she said this guy wanted to meet me so bad, and she said he was really super nice, and stuff. So, I finally agreed to meet him.

It was at the small town's Rodeo, where the dreaded meeting accurred. I don't remember what his name was, but anyway, we met. I was expecting an ordinary guy, who was probably too shy to introduce himself. I think the meeting happened in front of the perogy booth. My friend introduced us, and well, I was horrified to say the least. He kinda looked like Wayne in Wayne's World, but with really greasy hair, and unshaven face, and a baseball hat that had "Pussy Patrol" in large bold letters on it.

Lacking tact, I turned around to my friend and said "Pussy Patrol! Pussy Patrol!!!! You think I'd want to hang out with a guy with Pussy Patrol on his hat!!!?????" I walked away shocked and stunned. Did she really think I'd walk around in front of the whole town at the rodeo with a guy who was a part of the Pussy Patrol?! Didn't it occurr to my friend, who I thought was a nice girl, to tell that guy to perhaps remove his hat? It boggled my young mind.

After that set-up I, my friend and I didn't really get along very well, I think she thought I was snooty. After a while had passed, I found it pretty funny, and that incident set my standard of not letting my friends set me up with anyone.

That was you? I got rid of that hat a few years later [Wink]

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(!) (T) = 8-D

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Bibo
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Icon 1 posted February 13, 2005 22:34      Profile for Bibo   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
When I was 18 I was dating my high school sweetheart, she stole a bottle of gooseberry wine her dad made and we took it to a party that we drove to in my brand new car (less than 3 months old). She had quite a bit of the homemade wine at the party and started to feel quite ill on the drive home. We were driving on a major highway when she started to feel really sick, suddenly she starts to puke but is nice enough to puke down her shirt to contain it. Well her shirt could only hold so much puke before it started to fill up her lap and an then down to the floor of the car. I had a hard time not puking myself from the stench! I dropped her off at home then proceeded to the late night grocery store for paper towels and cleaning solution and drove to my former school's parking lot behind my house and scooped out green bean filled puke! The smell lasted for months no matter what we used to clean the car. She felt so bad about the whole thing and helped me try to remove the smell.
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Mac D
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Icon 1 posted February 13, 2005 22:34      Profile for Mac D     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
quote:
Originally posted by Nitrozac:
No dates are worse than the arranged date. When I was about 16 or 17, my friend's boyfriend's friend apparently wanted to meet me really badly. I was apprehensive, but my friend nagged me to no end, and she said this guy wanted to meet me so bad, and she said he was really super nice, and stuff. So, I finally agreed to meet him.

It was at the small town's Rodeo, where the dreaded meeting accurred. I don't remember what his name was, but anyway, we met. I was expecting an ordinary guy, who was probably too shy to introduce himself. I think the meeting happened in front of the perogy booth. My friend introduced us, and well, I was horrified to say the least. He kinda looked like Wayne in Wayne's World, but with really greasy hair, and unshaven face, and a baseball hat that had "Pussy Patrol" in large bold letters on it.

Lacking tact, I turned around to my friend and said "Pussy Patrol! Pussy Patrol!!!! You think I'd want to hang out with a guy with Pussy Patrol on his hat!!!?????" I walked away shocked and stunned. Did she really think I'd walk around in front of the whole town at the rodeo with a guy who was a part of the Pussy Patrol?! Didn't it occurr to my friend, who I thought was a nice girl, to tell that guy to perhaps remove his hat? It boggled my young mind.

After that set-up I, my friend and I didn't really get along very well, I think she thought I was snooty. After a while had passed, I found it pretty funny, and that incident set my standard of not letting my friends set me up with anyone.

That was you? I got rid of that hat a few years later [Wink]
Oh you still have it. I saw you and Spungo out that one night. He was chasing the sheep and you where after the cats. The poor poor cats.

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There's nothing wrong with me, This is how I'm supposed to be.

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Demosthenes
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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 01:39      Profile for Demosthenes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Blind date, we agree to meet for pizza at a dingy little joint in Cambridge. To give you a picture of how utterly mismatched we are: I bike across town, mohawk and torn Iron Maiden t-shirt a-blazing, only to nearly trip over a short, pudgy guy in a suit jacket. That, I could deal with.

When he kept trying to convince me that "classical is the only valid form of music," that's when I got up, stuffed the remainder of my pizza in my mouth, and left.

The best part is that he e-mailed me the next day telling me that he'd had a great time and thought that we really had hit it off. [Roll Eyes]

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Sique
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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 01:53      Profile for Sique   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
For some reasons I never had really bad dates. I just had quite strange ones, like this:

When I was at the university I met a group of people online at IRC, who were in the same town but at a different university. So I told them they could drop in and we could get to a very, very cheap dinning place right at my university. Two of them, a man and a woman, finally arrived.

A few days later the woman was online again, and she talked about going to dinner again, but this time at a burger at the train station. When I arrived at the train station, she didn't want to eat anymore, but said she could be persuaded to a coffee, preferably at her home. Because she was riding with the streetcar/tramway (however you call it), she told me the station she would have to step out, and I was riding with my bicycle to meet her there.

We then walked from the station to her home, and then she found out that she hadn't any coffee left. So she made a fruit tea, and we sat in her living room sipping tea. She had bought some women's magazines at the train station, and in one of them was a "What sex type are you?" test. We both took the test (for me with a slight modification, because I am no woman), and finally reached a result (I've forgotten hers... and mine was 'sensual-passive').

It got later and later, and was going to be midnight soon, and we still sat in her living room talking about completely unrelated topics, she on a couch, me at a small chair. Then she said, she would get tired and cold, and took a woolen blanket. I still sat at my chair and looked at her, and she looked back. And then she said, I must be getting cold too, because it was night outside. I denied, but in the end she talked me into crawling to her at the couch and under the blanket. There we sat silent, and at 3:00 in the morning I said, I had to hurry home, my contact lenses started to hurt.

So I went home.

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neotatsu
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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 02:00      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Sique:
For some reasons I never had really bad dates. I just had quite strange ones, like this:

When I was at the university I met a group of people online at IRC, who were in the same town but at a different university. So I told them they could drop in and we could get to a very, very cheap dinning place right at my university. Two of them, a man and a woman, finally arrived.

A few days later the woman was online again, and she talked about going to dinner again, but this time at a burger at the train station. When I arrived at the train station, she didn't want to eat anymore, but said she could be persuaded to a coffee, preferably at her home. Because she was riding with the streetcar/tramway (however you call it), she told me the station she would have to step out, and I was riding with my bicycle to meet her there.

We then walked from the station to her home, and then she found out that she hadn't any coffee left. So she made a fruit tea, and we sat in her living room sipping tea. She had bought some women's magazines at the train station, and in one of them was a "What sex type are you?" test. We both took the test (for me with a slight modification, because I am no woman), and finally reached a result (I've forgotten hers... and mine was 'sensual-passive').

It got later and later, and was going to be midnight soon, and we still sat in her living room talking about completely unrelated topics, she on a couch, me at a small chair. Then she said, she would get tired and cold, and took a woolen blanket. I still sat at my chair and looked at her, and she looked back. And then she said, I must be getting cold too, because it was night outside. I denied, but in the end she talked me into crawling to her at the couch and under the blanket. There we sat silent, and at 3:00 in the morning I said, I had to hurry home, my contact lenses started to hurt.

So I went home.

I'm sure every single one of her friends heard that story later, as they tried to figure out how much of a hint a guy really needs.... [Razz]
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jordanv
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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 03:27      Profile for jordanv     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You think you had a dating disaster? Hey, it wasn't as bad as poor ol' Oedipus.
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Callipygous
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Icon 2 posted February 14, 2005 05:37      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't think I was that date from Hell, simply because when I was young I don't ever remember getting any dates. Terminally shy etc. etc., my first real relationship (except with Mrs Palm and top shelf magazines!) did not happen until I was 23. But though you girls clearly had a horrible time, unsurprisingly I have a lot of sympathy for these desperate, inept, and socially inadequate boys too. Demosthenes's date perhaps longed to escape his conventional outlook, and looked at Demo like a sort of Melanie Griffiths in "Something Wild". The witless idiot who wore the hat with "Pussy Patrol" emblazoned proudly on it had no idea that what it really said was "I am a virgin". Poor poor stupid stupid boys.

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"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

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CommanderShroom
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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 05:46      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My favorite was the a blind date where the girl I met was pining away for her ex. [shake head]

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Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

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Black Widow
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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 06:30      Profile for Black Widow     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The worst date I had was a semi-blind date, we met *cough*on the internet*cough*. I'd seen pictures of him, so I knew what he looked like, and we'd chatted and talked on the phone. Well, we start the date by him taking me to meet his kids. First date. What?! Then he takes me to a steakhouse for dinner (Longhorn), and where we're seated we can see the TV's in the bar. Well he proceeds to sit with his back to me the entire time watching the baseball game on the TV. Not to mention the fact that he wore athletic shorts and a tshirt to the date, and was a horrible tipper.

And he wondered why I didn't want to go out with him again after that!

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Sique
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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 07:13      Profile for Sique   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
I'm sure every single one of her friends heard that story later, as they tried to figure out how much of a hint a guy really needs.... [Razz]
She was quite convinced that I needed more hints. At least three times she made a new attempt.

1) She invited me to watch a video with her. She picked 'Three witches of Eastwick' and 'Sliver'. I wonder why she had chosen movies about seduction [Wink]
2) During a talk about relationships and stuff she suddenly cried out: 'It's so bad with me! Even if I don't want to have sex in the first place, a man just has to tickle me at the right places, and I get wet.'
3) She phoned a lover from a phone booth, who changed the state to ex-lover. She suddenly became very sick and I took her home and cooked a soup for her. She then undressed in plain sight and went to bed. I am pretty sure that if I had hugged her to say farewell, I would have to stay that night.

I didn't count the number of times she accidentally touched me while she just wanted to show me some cool new game or similar.

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 07:15      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Sique:
quote:
I'm sure every single one of her friends heard that story later, as they tried to figure out how much of a hint a guy really needs.... [Razz]
She was quite convinced that I needed more hints. At least three times she made a new attempt.

1) She invited me to watch a video with her. She picked 'Three witches of Eastwick' and 'Sliver'. I wonder why she had chosen movies about seduction [Wink]
2) During a talk about relationships and stuff she suddenly cried out: 'It's so bad with me! Even if I don't want to have sex in the first place, a man just has to tickle me at the right places, and I get wet.'
3) She phoned a lover from a phone booth, who changed the state to ex-lover. She suddenly became very sick and I took her home and cooked a soup for her. She then undressed in plain sight and went to bed. I am pretty sure that if I had hugged her to say farewell, I would have to stay that night.

I didn't count the number of times she accidentally touched me while she just wanted to show me some cool new game or similar.

And you didn't get some because.... ?

Geez man. Give the woman what she wants! Wrap it up and have at 'er! [Big Grin]

Unless of course, you're involved.

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Sique
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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 08:36      Profile for Sique   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
And you didn't get some because.... ?

Geez man. Give the woman what she wants! Wrap it up and have at 'er! [Big Grin]

Unless of course, you're involved.

Sometimes it's just fun to watch. And I didn't want to spoil the fun. And no, I was not involved at that time. On the other hand, it was ten years ago, no point in shedding tears about a missed chance anyway [Smile]
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Super Flippy

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Icon 2 posted February 14, 2005 09:02      Profile for Super Flippy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My worst date would have to be the Valentine's Day when I had a cyst on my butt. I really liked the guy I was with, but it was painful to sit down so dinner was cut short. He did come back and drive me to health services the next morning, though.
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spungo
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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 09:29      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Super Flippy:
My worst date would have to be the Valentine's Day when I had a cyst on my butt.

"I've got a cyst"
"Is it sebaceous?"
"Well, it's pretty big, but I wouldn't go that far."

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Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 10:29      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think my worst was:

It was the summer between grade 11 and 12. We had driven out to a remote country road to play stinky finger , as I called it then. Anyhow, as I tried to get her out of the trunk of the car she ran into a nearby corn field. I gave chase, very aroused. The stalks were much taller than both of us and I quickly lost sight of her. I stood still straining to hear her over my own breathing and the chainsaw ideling in my right hand. I heard something to my right and began walking toward it. As I pushed some corn stalks out of my path I saw a grey circular mass....about the same size as my head and at the same height. The orb suddenly dislodged and fell to the ground breaking apart. It was a hornets nest. I dropped my saw and ran for all I was worth which apparently wasn't much because they caught up to me, stinging me repeatedly. I emerged from the cornfield, my arms windmilling, covered in blood, sweat and tears. I could feel the effects of their venom. I was allergic and I could feel my throat swelling shut. It was then I realized I had locked my keys in the car. I began hitch hiking and 2 hours later got picked up by a Mennonite fellow in his horse and buggy. Even though I was visably shaken, he never asked me a single question. I never saw that girl again. [ohwell]

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(!) (T) = 8-D

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angryjungman

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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 19:32      Profile for angryjungman   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's interesting all this talk of blind dates and friends trying to play matchmaker. My first date with Steph was both. My best friend called me at midnight one night and said, "Dude, I have this girl you should meet." And now we're engaged.

Really, though, I think overall my dating experiences have mostly been positive. I can't recall any dates from hell.

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Meh.

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csk

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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 20:38      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Demosthenes:
When he kept trying to convince me that "classical is the only valid form of music," that's when I got up, stuffed the remainder of my pizza in my mouth, and left.

Is he still available? I've got just the girl for him, and she'll be available pretty soon...

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6 weeks to go!

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 20:57      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
/me recalls some evenings spent with an ex of his. Gah! Nothing quite makes an evening like sitting in a computer lab with someone who's taking the time to check out a purse or 3 on eBay and look at fan info on a basketball player (yes, that was productive studying time -- which was then at least followed by some pretty good dinner - I still go to that restaurant from time to time). Come to think of it, I don't know if we ever got much studying done, and our friends were never much help. [Wink] Or...how can I forget some of the longest ~90 mins of my life, watching basketball with her on her suitemate's TV...all the while dealing with her occasional smoking. Nonetheless kind of worth it, given that she didn't exactly want me to go, but feigning enthusiasm for sports is not my desired way to spend an evening. *shrugs* /me == baka

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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csk

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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 21:14      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hmm, how come I'm the only one who hasn't had these bad dating experiences. Hmm, maybe only dating one person is the reason.

Oh, I know. How about three marriage proposals, since she wasn't happy with the setup for the first two, and demanded we try again? As I recall, she didn't like the location for the first one, and didn't like the movie I chose for the second one.

/not bitter, not bitter, not bitter...

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6 weeks to go!

Posts: 4455 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 21:21      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think you should hook up wif Rhonnie....even if it were only in a internet pen pal kind of dealie.

Y'all seem to be cut from the same cloth....maybe lovers in a past life if your faith allow for such things.

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(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 21:41      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
/me recalls some evenings spent with an ex of his. Gah! Nothing quite makes an evening like sitting in a computer lab with someone who's taking the time to check out a purse or 3 on eBay and look at fan info on a basketball player (yes, that was productive studying time -- which was then at least followed by some pretty good dinner - I still go to that restaurant from time to time). Come to think of it, I don't know if we ever got much studying done, and our friends were never much help. [Wink] Or...how can I forget some of the longest ~90 mins of my life, watching basketball with her on her suitemate's TV...all the while dealing with her occasional smoking. Nonetheless kind of worth it, given that she didn't exactly want me to go, but feigning enthusiasm for sports is not my desired way to spend an evening. *shrugs* /me == baka

Did she at least put out? [Wink]
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ewomack
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Icon 1 posted February 14, 2005 22:04      Profile for ewomack   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I was once "set up" with a woman who claimed she could leave her body and look down at herself from great heights. She described this to me while standing on one leg and gesturing with her hands to demonstrate the angles at which she could view herself from above. I feel terrible about it today, but I couldn't help laughing at her. It was incredibly funny. I just couldn't control it. After becoming visibly angry with me she said she liked me by saying "I have a little torch" and asking me for a hug. I gave her a hug, that's the least I could do after laughing in her face. But I never saw her again. I think we're both better off.

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Ed Womack
Get Milked

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