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Author Topic: I need some advice, please.
mdee2004
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Icon 2 posted July 17, 2004 23:41      Profile for mdee2004     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm single and hating every minute of it. How do you deal or did you deal with the misery of being single in order to enjoy life alone. This one helps if you have some sort of mood disorder as well. HELP ME GEEKY MASSES HELP ME!!!

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Bass lines are at their best when they are played by a bass.

Posts: 26 | From: Maryland | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted July 18, 2004 06:32      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by mdee2004:
I'm single and hating every minute of it. How do you deal or did you deal with the misery of being single in order to enjoy life alone. This one helps if you have some sort of mood disorder as well. HELP ME GEEKY MASSES HELP ME!!!

I'm not single now though I spent 3 1/2 years more or less on my own. In that period of time I was also dealing with a large amount of chemical consumption and depression.

I didn't care to be single and don't really want to think about the possibility of ever being single again. I learned to live with it and work through it. I started to realize after a year of being single that I helped create quite a bit of my own misery. I was overweight, self absorbed, and moody. Now I am not overweight [Smile] .

Seriously though I began to do a lot of work on myself. Things you normally can't do when you are with someone else. I began to work out, diet, study religion and philosophy. I also began laying the groundwork to change careers and living situations.

It came down to I knew what I didn't like about myself and made the changes that made me more comfortable in my own skin. People began to notice those changes and that's when the non-voluntary single lifestyle began to change.

I also reached a point that though I was single I wasn't lonely. I had friends and hobbies and went places. I began to throw myself into things I had wanted to do though never did.

Everyone knows when you are desperate. Women just make it a habit of staying away when they notice it.

CommanderShroom

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Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2463 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
MrMachineCode
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Icon 14 posted July 18, 2004 07:18      Profile for MrMachineCode     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm single and loving every minute of it.

It may seem paradoxical, mdee2004, but you must learn to able to look within yourself for happiness and strength before you can find happiness with someone else.

I had been in a relationship for 10 months and I recently ended it because I realized this--that I needed to develop myself as a person, on my own, and I couldn't do that properly if I attached too much of my own life to someone else's life. I do not get worried about finding someone because I know I have my whole life ahead of me to do that; the time right now is not the time to look for someone, it is the time to set myself on a path for success in my career. Of course I'm still looking for sexual satisfaction--but I am honest with myself that, at this time, that's what I'm really looking for.

Posts: 314 | From: USA | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted July 18, 2004 08:50      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by CommanderShroom:

I didn't care to be single and don't really want to think about the possibility of ever being single again. I learned to live with it and work through it. I started to realize after a year of being single that I helped create quite a bit of my own misery. I was overweight, self absorbed, and moody. Now I am not overweight [Smile]

So what you're implying then is that you're still self-obsorbed and moody? [Wink]
Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
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Icon 1 posted July 18, 2004 09:07      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by drunkennewfiemidget:
So what you're implying then is that you're still self-obsorbed and moody? [Wink]

Not really.

I just know that I am much more interesting than everyone else and it really pisses me off when no one notices. [Big Grin]

--------------------
Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2463 | From: Utarrrrggggghhh!!!!!!!! | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
dunjamon
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Icon 9 posted July 18, 2004 09:24      Profile for dunjamon   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm single as I let a girl I really wanted go as I'm a spineless jellyfish.

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Computers may be twice as fast as they were in 1973 but your average voter is as drunk and stupid as ever.

Posts: 77 | From: Manchester England | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
sconzey
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Icon 1 posted July 18, 2004 14:08      Profile for sconzey     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Take pleasure in the things you can only do un-attatched. What those things are depend on your personal tastes but we get all sorts on this board.

For me it would be drinking tonnes of coffee (my girlfriend doesn't like it because it makes my breath smell) and staying up real late coding. [Smile]

Use the lack of distraction to complete some project you've always wanted to do, down a beer in less than three seconds, soup up your car, network your coffee machine, whatever. Dedicate copious amounts of your time to some charity if you want to do some good in life.

An interesting book to read too is, 'How I kissed Dating Goodbye'. Haven't read it myself but I hear it gives an interesting, if controversial, perspective on singlehood.

Posts: 490 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
Orpheus
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Icon 1 posted July 18, 2004 16:33      Profile for Orpheus     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Being single sucks at times, but you do have a lot of time to yourself that you can use to explore. You should try to appreciate it while you have it. Now is the time to find yourself and devolop who you are. Figure out what passions you have in life. Once you truly figure out who you are and what drives you I think you will better connect with a compatible mate.

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my cats make me crazy

Posts: 554 | From: Galveston, TX | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged
GMx

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Icon 9 posted July 18, 2004 16:57      Profile for GMx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have explored myself to the point that there is no where else to go. [weep]
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csk

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Icon 1 posted July 18, 2004 18:27      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yep, what everyone else said. I'm in a weird sort of relationship limbo (separated, but not divorced), so I guess I'm pretty much single for all intents an d purposes.

The advice to follow your passions is very good, IMHO. You can't lose, in that case. Either you lead a happy and fulfilled life following your passions, but remaining single, or you meet someone who shares similar passions. And there are definite advantages to being single, in terms of freedom, ability to make your own decisions without having to consult others, etc. Just no nookie [Frown]

Oh, and hang around places like here, since there are plenty of great people to chat to, and get to know. You don't want your SO to be your only socialisation, otherwise you're asking for trouble.

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6 weeks to go!

Posts: 4455 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
mdee2004
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Icon 3 posted July 18, 2004 19:50      Profile for mdee2004     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I appreciate all the helpful advice. I've been working hard at the whole self discovery stuff for a while now but I find I'm often times distracted by the countless scantily clad women in the college-town I stay at. What's worse than that are the countless PDAs (public displays of affection) of which I see at least 5 of every time I leave my house.

I do a lot of reading and try not to sit around and be all introspective all the time because the lack of doing something while being single just leads to more depression. I have dropped about 75 pounds since I was in my last relationship so the weightloss thing I've already tapped.

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Bass lines are at their best when they are played by a bass.

Posts: 26 | From: Maryland | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted July 19, 2004 07:19      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by GMx:
I have explored myself to the point that there is no where else to go. [weep]

That is both disturbing and unsettling. [Wink]

quote:
Originally posted by mdee2004:
I appreciate all the helpful advice. I've been working hard at the whole self discovery stuff for a while now but I find I'm often times distracted by the countless scantily clad women in the college-town I stay at. What's worse than that are the countless PDAs (public displays of affection) of which I see at least 5 of every time I leave my house.

I work at (probably) the most busy intersection in downtown Ottawa with a gigantic window in front of me overlooking the bus stop. The distraction due to scantily clad women is something I can definitely relate to. [Eek!]
Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted July 23, 2004 11:52      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by sconzey:
An interesting book to read too is, 'How I kissed Dating Goodbye'. Haven't read it myself but I hear it gives an interesting, if controversial, perspective on singlehood.

Josh Harris rocks.

"The Rich Single Life" by Andrew Farmer is one of the best books I've read addressing positive singleness. [Smile]

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

Posts: 3849 | From: Lancaster, PA | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged


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