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Author Topic: Age to get girlfriend?
Crimson Rider
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Icon 1 posted May 13, 2004 01:00      Profile for Crimson Rider     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yeah, ok.

I never did understand WHY those woman hang out with those abusing bastards. Just observerd that they do.

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Code, justify, code - Pitr Dubovich

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Jace Raven

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Icon 1 posted May 13, 2004 12:58      Profile for Jace Raven         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
and really want him to get a haircut hehehe.
In general:

Men want the perfect girl, out of the box. No assembly required.

Women on the other hand want a man that they can make perfect.

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted May 14, 2004 12:40      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Crimson Rider:
Yeah, ok.

I never did understand WHY those woman hang out with those abusing bastards. Just observerd that they do.

Well, bad boys seem exciting, and then they get some sort of power over you...and then you're fscked.

Nice guys (or guys who appear that way) can turn out to be abusing bastards too. Trust me.

I think the big secret is to just stop looking. You don't find love. Love finds you.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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Crimson Rider
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Icon 1 posted May 17, 2004 03:01      Profile for Crimson Rider     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Amen [Smile]

Hey kinda reminds me of that McBeal line;

Woman spend years trying to snare the perfect guy, then they spend even more years molding and shaping that guy, until one morning, they look at him over breakfast and say; "Hey, you are not the man I married"

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Code, justify, code - Pitr Dubovich

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CommanderShroom
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Icon 1 posted May 17, 2004 05:59      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Aphex,

I don't think there ever is a proper time to find a girlfriend.

I have been married for six years and messed with quite a few people in the years before. And if I look at it none were ever true girlfriends. I just ended up with them and stayed for a while and went our seperate ways.

My dating life didn't even truly get started until I was out of high school and after I got out on my own. I think part of it was that I was no longer dependant or truly needy. ALL women hate that.

Women seem to like to be needed, not depended on. I think there lies part of the appeal of the tough guys. Too many are trying to be mother hens to someone that needs them but doesn't NEED them. Crazy, huh?

Or in other words. I need my wife. I need her to be around and to share in my life but, if it ended tomorrow I would keep ticking. Just be comfortable with who you are and the rest seems to fall in place. Look but don't hunt for someone. When you hunt there is always a predator and a prey. Most of the time the hunter becomes the prey. Then you set yourself up for a fall and bitterness.

Take your time. It will happen if you are dilligent and patient.

CommanderShroom

How I miss the good old days. But I'm so glad they're gone. - Ben Harper - Burn to Shine

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Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

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maven
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Icon 2 posted May 17, 2004 15:39      Profile for maven     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
chesty--NICE, haha.

original poster--trust me, they're not all they're made out to be.

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"Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance."

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted May 17, 2004 16:35      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
I think the big secret is to just stop looking. You don't find love. Love finds you.

That's what I tried to tell her attorney when they asked me about my infra-red goggles. [Wink]

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Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

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mephisto

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Icon 1 posted May 29, 2004 07:23      Profile for mephisto     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
to speak from my own experience about the right time to get a girlfriend, get one when you're mature enough to handle the relationship or you will end up killing it a long time down the road. See the thing is when you're young, you have preconceived notions and all kinds of crap in your head, give yourself time to experience life and learn what it is truly about before you start thinking about sharing it with others. And make sure that you can handle the kind of intimacy (i mean the emotional part) that comes as part of a relationship, atleast a long-term one.
you dont want to be at a point when maturity comes, the right girl is gone because of shit you did when you were immature.....
these'r my .002 canadian cents [Razz] feel free to take em or leave em....

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"Liberate tutame exinferis."

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mephisto

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Icon 1 posted May 29, 2004 07:48      Profile for mephisto     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
btw, focus on getting a good woman not a hot one...

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"Liberate tutame exinferis."

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csk

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Icon 1 posted May 29, 2004 08:06      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by mephisto:
btw, focus on getting a good woman not a hot one...

Since those two traits are mutually exclusive, right ? [Wink]

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6 weeks to go!

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mephisto

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Icon 1 posted May 29, 2004 10:17      Profile for mephisto     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
not always. there was my "one that got away after 4.5 yrs".... she was both and a geek to add to it...lol....just dont focus on the hotness is what i say. go for a girl that seems to be nice and kind and caring.....if she turns out to be hot...all the better. if she aint, well be happy with the love and completion that the relationship will bring you.....

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"Liberate tutame exinferis."

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted May 29, 2004 14:05      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by mephisto:
btw, focus on getting a good woman not a hot one...

The same could be said for men. Yes, girls do like bad boys (or some do, I prefer geeks myself...I'm enough of a badass for two people [Razz] ), but ladies, keep in mind that unless your bad boy has a good heart, he's only going to hurt you in the end. Of course, good boys can also turn out to have bad hearts...the dating game can resemble Russian roulette at times.

Here's my question. I have been called a good woman numerous times, always in a complimentary fashion. I don't really understand the compliment, especially since more often then not when it's given to me I haven't really done anything that I'd consider praise-worthy or even particularily feminine. I honestly though that such a label would never apply to me, given my tom-boy nature and the fact that I'm not all that interested in the traditional female role of housewife and mother (some women can do this, and that's great, it's a hard job, but I can't). Given the rise of conservatism in this country, desiring a career seems to discount any woman from ever being "good". So, can someone please help this poor clueless lab rat and explain exactly what a "good woman" is?

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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csk

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Icon 1 posted May 30, 2004 03:10      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by mephisto:
if she turns out to be hot...all the better. if she aint, well be happy with the love and completion that the relationship will bring you.....

IMHO looking for "completion" from a single (romantic) relationship is asking for trouble. Puts too much pressure on that relationship, and if it breaks down, then one/both parties are stuffed. I'm not recommending multiple romantic relationships, but just don't put all your eggs in the one basket.

quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Here's my question. I have been called a good woman numerous times, always in a complimentary fashion. I don't really understand the compliment, especially since more often then not when it's given to me I haven't really done anything that I'd consider praise-worthy or even particularily feminine. I honestly though that such a label would never apply to me, given my tom-boy nature and the fact that I'm not all that interested in the traditional female role of housewife and mother (some women can do this, and that's great, it's a hard job, but I can't). Given the rise of conservatism in this country, desiring a career seems to discount any woman from ever being "good". So, can someone please help this poor clueless lab rat and explain exactly what a "good woman" is?

It's a matter of character, IMHO. From my observation, you manage to do a good job of being strong, independent and courageous without being overbearing or insensitive. Not many people (especially females, IMHO) achieve that balance. I've been impressed with your character ever since I've been posting here, so count me amongst the "good woman" supporters.

/me just gets "really nice guy" a lot, which I translate as "spineless, weak pushover". Who, me, cynical?

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6 weeks to go!

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nekomatic
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Icon 3 posted June 01, 2004 05:59      Profile for nekomatic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
So, can someone please help this poor clueless lab rat and explain exactly what a "good woman" is?

Maybe what they really mean to say is you're a good person, who just happens to be a woman?
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priscilch
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Icon 1 posted June 01, 2004 16:50      Profile for priscilch     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's very hard to extrapolate what people mean.
You have to look at the age of the person and what nots.

If it be them older folk - a "good woman" might translate into the traditional role of being a woman. Nuturing, caring, motherly, basically a good wife.

A "good woman" can translate into a good heart. To see the kindness in you. Eh, hard to say.

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Stereo

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Icon 12 posted June 02, 2004 06:27      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, when I was around 10, my aunts use to say I was 'good to marry', as I could cook and sew. I'm now going on 31 (in a little more than a week [Eek!] ), and not only I'm not married, but there's no potential husband on my radar. A sign that times are changing, I guess.

Or maybe it's because I'm so independant - of mind and money. Scares the hell out of most men, it seems. Though I prefer to think that's because someone better (for me) is waiting a little further down the road. Oh well. [Roll Eyes] [Big Grin]

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Eppur, si muove!

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Dogbert
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Icon 1 posted June 02, 2004 08:52      Profile for Dogbert     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I was 5 or 6, but it didn't mean anything...
It was a bit like:
Me: "Hey Jenny, i dont like Bob anymore, you can have him if you give me Joe"
Jenny: "yea sure"

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The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein

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Stibbons
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Icon 1 posted June 02, 2004 09:02      Profile for Stibbons   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I was a polygamist aged 4. Got married to 2 people on the same day at playgroup. I later got to see one of them in the bath on Christmas, when I took a present round to her. However, being 4, it didn't have the same thrill as it would now* - actually, knowing what she's become now, I'm not sure I'd want to.

Here's wishing I'd married Natalie Portman when I was four... [evil]

*that is, seeing a young lady my age in the bath. Not a four year old [Big Grin]

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Dogbert
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Icon 1 posted June 02, 2004 11:53      Profile for Dogbert     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ohhh, i remember getting married in primary school.... [Razz]
With gummy rings, and the boy with the deepest voice as the "priest"
Yea.... those were the days....

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The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted June 02, 2004 16:40      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My daughter was heart-broken when her fiance broke off their engagement during the last week of kindergarten. [cry baby]

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted June 02, 2004 21:05      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
IMHO looking for "completion" from a single (romantic) relationship is asking for trouble. Puts too much pressure on that relationship, and if it breaks down, then one/both parties are stuffed. I'm not recommending multiple romantic relationships, but just don't put all your eggs in the one basket.

Yes, I think it is far better to be with someone just because you enjoy their company, not because you *need* them. DOn't get me wrong, I like it when there is something I can do for a guy, but when I'm given the "you are my everything" or "I can't live without you" lines (or one of their relations) I get kinda nervous. That's a heavy burden to place on someone, especially a fellow human. I ran into double trouble in this scenario once because not only did the guy have me on some sort of "you complete me" pedestal but he resented it that I didn't need him the way he needed me. It turned into some sick twisted thing where I felt guilty because I refused to be anything other than my own person. You would think a guy or girl would appreciate emotional independence, but apparently not.

quote:

/me just gets "really nice guy" a lot, which I translate as "spineless, weak pushover". Who, me, cynical?

Well, it can mean that. I've met my share of doormats. Do you feel like you're being treated as a doormat? I ask because what sometimes happens, and I have been guilty of this in the past, is, in order to prove that you're nice, you let yourself be a doormat. It is quite possible to be nice and still have a spine. People will even still believe that you are nice. In fact, they will respect you more if you stand up for yourself now and then. You will also resepct yourself more.

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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Elvermere
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Icon 1 posted June 02, 2004 22:06      Profile for Elvermere     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'll ask the obvious question.....Why date at all? I think that having friends (as Xanthine mentions) is more important than "dating". Of course this is in a "whole of life" thing, rather than just the sex.

If dating implies sex, then I am sure that there are a lot more informative websites (probably with pretty pictures [Big Grin] ) to see how to talk a girl into bed.

My story: I am now 31. I went out with my first girlfriend at 20. This was a mistake, and pretty much at her behest. A peer pressure thing also caused this. It lasted 6ish months before I broke it off. Second girlfriend 6months after that (21). Married said girl after going out for 6 years and have now been happily married 4.

I'll just say that we both agree that we never "dated". We went round each others places, went to movies and dinner, but it always felt like friends, rather than a stressful overtone of "Date"

Please also note that I am sure that the concept of "Date" is different in different cultures (ie. Aussieland and Yankland) and this may make some comments invalid (particulary as you seem to come from the depths of hell [Cool] )

Xanthine:
Take being called a "good woman" as a compliment. I think the days are gone where that means you have to stay at home and cook/clean/sew/breed. I feel that this means that you are appreciated for who you are, not as a potential mate.

Hey, my wife and I support each other in whatever each of us want to do. This is career, home life, children etc, whatever is most important at the various stages in life. She's a good woman!

I'll say that in my social circle, being called "Good Woman" implies a compliment, whether you are career oriented or appear feminine or anything else.

Cheers

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It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

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csk

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Icon 1 posted June 03, 2004 08:42      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Well, it can mean that. I've met my share of doormats. Do you feel like you're being treated as a doormat? I ask because what sometimes happens, and I have been guilty of this in the past, is, in order to prove that you're nice, you let yourself be a doormat. It is quite possible to be nice and still have a spine. People will even still believe that you are nice. In fact, they will respect you more if you stand up for yourself now and then. You will also resepct yourself more.

Yes, this sounds like good advice. Now to try to practice it. I still find it hard to get my head around the fact that it's not good for other people to get their way 100% of the time...

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6 weeks to go!

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mephisto

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Icon 1 posted June 03, 2004 16:13      Profile for mephisto     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Well, it can mean that. I've met my share of doormats. Do you feel like you're being treated as a doormat? I ask because what sometimes happens, and I have been guilty of this in the past, is, in order to prove that you're nice, you let yourself be a doormat. It is quite possible to be nice and still have a spine. People will even still believe that you are nice. In fact, they will respect you more if you stand up for yourself now and then. You will also resepct yourself more.

Yes, this sounds like good advice. Now to try to practice it. I still find it hard to get my head around the fact that it's not good for other people to get their way 100% of the time...
haha. its never good for other people to get their way instead you should just have it your way and convince them that its what they want....
atleast thats how i feel [Smile]
ok completely seriously, being nice doesn't involve being a doormat nor does it involve letting the other person have what they want. being nice means being a person who has empathy for other people's feelings and reacts in a manner that will make the other person happier as and when situations dictate.
and no, lying to make someone feel better is verboten, rather honesty than the crap that comes with the "i'll make her feel good if i say this" lying just my 0.0002 cad [Smile]

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"Liberate tutame exinferis."

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted June 03, 2004 16:35      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Elvermere:
I'll ask the obvious question.....Why date at all?

'Cos women at bus stops get very upset when you ask to see their dirty pillows.

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