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Author Topic: where the hell am I?
addiew
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Icon 2 posted August 02, 2003 22:20      Profile for addiew   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The point I am in my life right now sucks.

I am done with college and currently working; right now I am starting to apply to grad schools (which have basically been telling me to start to pray now because getting into any of them is insanely competitive)

I want to go SO bad but I feel so down about the whole thing-- like my chances are so slim- and almost a 'what is the point of trying if all I am going to do is be turned down' attitude.

I feel lost and totally unsure as to where my life is going. I hate this...

sorry to vent, I didn't know where to put this [shake head] [ohwell]

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My LiveJournal|homepage- shameless, I know

Posts: 823 | From: Oregon | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Tyler Durden
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Icon 1 posted August 02, 2003 23:16      Profile for Tyler Durden     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Maybe take some time off and "try to find yourself"? I've had some friends go away for a while and their pessimistic views on life change to a new direction that they throw themselves at.

I'm not sure what else to say...I have the same feeling right now and I'm still in college.

If you're sure that you want to head to grad school, then don't have a fear of failure. Just go for it.

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that's it sir, you're leaving...the crackle of pig skin...the dust and the screaming...the yuppies networking
the panic...the vomit...the panic...the vomit
god loves his children...god loves his children...yeah

Posts: 682 | From: DFW, TX | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
weensicka
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Icon 1 posted August 03, 2003 17:18      Profile for weensicka   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Addiew,

Hey, don't worry. We've all been there. I'm there now, except I've finished getting a post-grad degree, and well, it wasn't all the glory I was expecting.

I can't speak for everyone, or even for your area of interest (I am a literature geek, myself), but grad school was both the most rewarding *and* the most arduous thing I've ever done. I met awesome people and felt for the first time that I was with a crowd that really understood me, approved of the fact that I spoke in more than a monosyllabic vocabulary, and actually got the references I made in a conversation. They say that college does that once you leave high school, but it really didn't happen for me until grad school.

Anyway, on the other side, it was a lot of sleepless nights, a lot of feeling inferior, and a lot of confusion because I don't think anything you do can really prepare you for how different it is. I can totally relate to how you feel about "why bother to try if I'm not going to get in." In some ways, I think this is a ruse that schools put out to scare people away--kind of like that professor everyone has that makes a big deal about being a hard ass, but is really sweet if you are a good student. Since college these days seems to be mostly an assumed right and extension of secondary schools, I think grad schools go about undermining your confidence so they can weed out those who aren't serious. Don't let it get to you!

On the whole, I recommend grad school. But do think seriously about it; pursuing a grad degree too early can be hellish. Sometimes I wish I'd waited and actually, I was one of the youngest people in my program having come directly from undergrad. But my field might be a bit different from yours. I'm taking time off now, in fact, and working until I'm ready to go back for a PhD. A lot of people say crap like, "if you take time off, you'll never go back." They are full of it and most of the ones I knew never finished college, let alone went further. Do what's right for you and at your own pace! Good Luck!

Posts: 182 | From: oh, just somewhere random | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
rw

Member # 590

Icon 1 posted August 04, 2003 08:21      Profile for rw   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
These major life transitions rarely work out as smoothly as one would want. When I went to grad school, even though I was accepted right away, it had to wait a year before I could start. (That's because I couldn't come up with the money and financial aid right away, but the reason's not important.) It was a drag, but I got through it. When I finished grad school, it took me a year to get a job. That was miserable, and I was majorly depressed. But that finally passed, and now things are all right again.

I guess the point is not to think that it's the end of the world. You have to overcome the inertia of the world to do what you really want to do, and that takes time. Meanwhile, Tyler Durden's advice -- use the time to "find yourself" -- is probably best, expecially since you are young. Get a hippie van and do some traveling.

You can also get a head start on grad school by reading. That's mostly what you do in grad school, anyway. Then if you show up on campus, meet some of the profs, and talk intelligently about what's going on now in their field, you can win them over as allies and they will help you get accepted.

Posts: 429 | From: Kirkland, Wash. (US of A) | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
addiew
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Icon 1 posted August 04, 2003 10:49      Profile for addiew   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I have had a lot of people tell me to take time off before grad school- the problem is I dont do well with unstructured time- I need a plan before and I need an income..

Do lots of people get jobs before going to grad school? I am almost considering trying to find something for a year or so and then decide if grad school is really what I want to do

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My LiveJournal|homepage- shameless, I know

Posts: 823 | From: Oregon | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
weensicka
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 07:23      Profile for weensicka   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
A lot of people I know did temping for a year and then realized that school was the place to be. It's true too. God knows I hate working. Work is for suckers. [Razz]

The real question is, can you find meaningful employment in your field? If so, then working for a year wouldn't be so bad. But doing something as soul-sucking as temping or working retail might just depress you.

Posts: 182 | From: oh, just somewhere random | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
spungo
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 07:54      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by weensicka:
A lot of people I know did temping for a year and then realized that school was the place to be. It's true too. God knows I hate working. Work is for suckers. [Razz]


Amen!

One of my fave George Carlin quotes feels apt: "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit."

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Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 08:27      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That Carlin quote is great. I will pinch it as my signature in fact.
Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
spungo
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 08:43      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Got it from his book Braindroppings. [Smile]

edit: Ooh look - I'm at 3k - woo hoo!! I never thought I'd be here... *sob sob* ... I'd like to thank my Mom, my stylist, members of the Academy, ... God... *sob sob*...

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Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
snupy
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 09:01      Profile for snupy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
God???????? Excuse me a minute.**evil laughter** Finally caught up with me, huh??


Congrats spungster!!!!!!!!!I'm so proud. [weep]

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"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family

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hey-U
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 09:02      Profile for hey-U     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Part-ay at spungo's!!!
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spungo
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 09:07      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by snupy:
God???????? Excuse me a minute.**evil laughter** Finally caught up with me, huh??

Hey - I'm a gentleman, and as such am duty-bound to always let the lady ... *ahem*... arrive first.

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Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
snupy
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 09:10      Profile for snupy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Good to know. [evil]

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"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family

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GMx

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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 09:12      Profile for GMx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You bastard! You beat me to it!  -
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snupy
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 09:12      Profile for snupy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
But since when are you a gentleman?? [Razz]

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"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 09:15      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
GMx - we could have a joint party? Anyone seen the bong? [Smile]

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Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6529 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
cheezi git
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 09:16      Profile for cheezi git     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by snupy:
But since when are you a gentleman?? [Razz]

i think it's those games he plays. you know, gentleman and maid, maid breaks a plate, maid needs discipline, gentleman obliges

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there were so many stains on the road. squashed miss mitten-shaped stains in the universe. squashed frog-shaped stains in the universe. squashed crows that tried to eat the squashed frog-shaped stains in the universe. squashed dogs...

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snupy
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 09:17      Profile for snupy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So, Hey-U, when you see us in London, I expect you to bow before the King and Queen of GC. [Roll Eyes] [Big Grin]

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"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family

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GMx

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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 09:22      Profile for GMx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Fine with me!  -

On the subject of working: I haven't had a job in two years and I haven't had what I'd consider a real job (one that is full time and doesn't pay minimum wage). Having a lot of free time on your hands for a sustained period of time is not what it's cracked up to be.

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snupy
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 09:36      Profile for snupy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by cheezi git:
[quote] i think it's those games he plays. you know, gentleman and maid, maid breaks a plate, maid needs discipline, gentleman obliges

Yeah, that, "foreplay" and "human" are terms he uses very loosely methinks. [Razz] [Wink]
Posts: 4269 | From: UK, via Chicago | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
hey-U
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 09:45      Profile for hey-U     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just found this thread... wtf? Joint party would be spot on right about now (sigh) - still don't think they've invented it yet in Lunnon, dammit...

...That gentleman and maid game is a new one to me, I'm so innocent... Is it a joint party game?
[Big Grin]

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snupy
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 09:54      Profile for snupy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Did I forget to tell you about the party? Damn. Remember to bring your costume. [Wink]

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"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 10:12      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Congrats, spungo! I'm just noticed that I'm up to something like 1400 now, after getting over the 1000 mark, I've been going at a quicker posting rate, it seems.

Thanks for all the sheep [Razz] .

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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GMx

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Icon 10 posted August 05, 2003 10:22      Profile for GMx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
All right!!! Finally made it! [Beard of Peter Gabriel!] [thumbsup]
Posts: 5848 | From: S-4, Area 51 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
snupy
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Icon 1 posted August 05, 2003 10:40      Profile for snupy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yay!!!!!!!!! Congrats, GMx-now I can show you the secret handshake, too. [Eek!]

It was getting lonely up here. [Big Grin]

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"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family

Posts: 4269 | From: UK, via Chicago | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged


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