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Author Topic: For all you tech support geeks...
TechnoGram
Alpha Geek
Member # 1097

Member Rated:
5
Icon 10 posted March 25, 2002 13:39      Profile for TechnoGram     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
hope no one else has posted this, lots of bandwidth...


Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:

"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C:\prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
. . . . . ."Yes, I think so."
"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
. . . . . ."Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
. . . . . ."Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

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Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.


Posts: 250 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Drazgal
Geek
Member # 984

Member Rated:
5
Icon 10 posted March 25, 2002 13:45      Profile for Drazgal   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ha!
Posts: 154 | From: Dundee, United Kingdom | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
snupy
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1211

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted March 25, 2002 15:34      Profile for snupy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That's not funny.
Posts: 4269 | From: UK, via Chicago | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
TechnoGram
Alpha Geek
Member # 1097

Member Rated:
5
Icon 12 posted March 25, 2002 17:42      Profile for TechnoGram     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by snupy:
That's not funny.

you're right -- it's sad, especially for the support geek

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Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.


Posts: 250 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
platypus
Alpha Geek
Member # 991

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Icon 1 posted March 25, 2002 19:47      Profile for platypus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
actually, that's freaking hilarious. But it's also old, and been told about every software company ever.

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pages:
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www.squishbox.org


Posts: 302 | From: Provo, UT | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
TechnoGram
Alpha Geek
Member # 1097

Member Rated:
5
Icon 9 posted March 26, 2002 07:21      Profile for TechnoGram     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by platypus:
actually, that's freaking hilarious. But it's also old, and been told about every software company ever.


that's what i was afraid of; sounded too funny and too typical to be new...

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Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.


Posts: 250 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
iballoondesign
Highlie
Member # 1037

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted March 26, 2002 09:19      Profile for iballoondesign   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That's old joke, I hear that before.

By way, Roger Fox don't know about computer - LAMO!


Posts: 569 | From: Irving, TX | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
macadddikt18
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 1082

Icon 1 posted March 26, 2002 13:01      Profile for macadddikt18   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
No matter how many times i read that i still get a kick out of it. Yeah, it is sad, but it is also very funny.
nayt

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c:/dos
c:/dos/run
run/dos/run


Posts: 1870 | From: In a world beyond your understanding | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
BrotherPaul
Single Celled Newbie
Member # 1233

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Icon 1 posted March 27, 2002 02:15      Profile for BrotherPaul     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
A woman carries a box into the store and says to the salesman, "I've got two more in the car." She dumps the box down and returns with two more.

"I want my money back on this computer," she says.

"Why?" asks the salesman.

"I typed this huge long letter for the boss and Wordperfect blew up. The screen went black."

"The screen went black? What's with that? Wordperfect works well on that computer. How many pages did you type?"

"About fifty - ah, it was fifty-three on the page count."

"Did you phone the Wordperfect help desk to try to resolve the problem?"

"Do you mean try to fix it? Yes. They suggested I put it into boxes and return it to the shop I bought it from. So here I am." <giggle>

So they go through the computer and the salesman deletes the excess stuff.

"Okay, all done. Do you want a replacement?"

"No thanks." She turns and begins to walk toward the exit.

"Hey lady, you wanna refund?" http://www.geekculture.com/ultimatebb/icons/icon6.gif


Posts: 4 | From: Wanganui, New Zealand | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
donnab
Mini Geek
Member # 1092

Icon 1 posted March 28, 2002 17:03      Profile for donnab         Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by BrotherPaul:
A woman carries a box into the store and says to the salesman, "I've got two more in the car." She dumps the box down and returns with two more.

"I want my money back on this computer," she says.

"Why?" asks the salesman.

"I typed this huge long letter for the boss and Wordperfect blew up. The screen went black."

"The screen went black? What's with that? Wordperfect works well on that computer. How many pages did you type?"

"About fifty - ah, it was fifty-three on the page count."

"Did you phone the Wordperfect help desk to try to resolve the problem?"

"Do you mean try to fix it? Yes. They suggested I put it into boxes and return it to the shop I bought it from. So here I am." <giggle>

So they go through the computer and the salesman deletes the excess stuff.

"Okay, all done. Do you want a replacement?"

"No thanks." She turns and begins to walk toward the exit.

"Hey lady, you wanna refund?" http://www.geekculture.com/ultimatebb/icons/icon6.gif


What makes you think it was a woman?


Posts: 88 | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
TechnoGram
Alpha Geek
Member # 1097

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted March 30, 2002 18:48      Profile for TechnoGram     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by donnab:
What makes you think it was a woman?


my sentiments exactly!

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Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.


Posts: 250 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
macadddikt18
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 1082

Icon 1 posted April 02, 2002 06:04      Profile for macadddikt18   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
the origanal made it sound like it could have been a guy. I think it is funnier if it was a guy. Something about a guy makes it funny to me.
Nayt

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c:/dos
c:/dos/run
run/dos/run


Posts: 1870 | From: In a world beyond your understanding | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
GameMaster
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1173

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted April 02, 2002 13:18      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The version I heard was a woman... But would be funnier if it were a not-so bright IT guy (I'm picturing someone I used to work with, who was only hired because they couldn't find anyone else. That is could find it in the budget to pay anyone else who knew what they were doing).
Posts: 3038 | From: State of insanity | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged


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