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Author Topic: Pain
Drazgal
Geek
Member # 984

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5
Icon 5 posted March 22, 2002 13:02      Profile for Drazgal   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Does anyone else seem to enjoy hurting themselves? I don't mean physically, I mean running with both arms wide open to do something, help someone or befriend someone even if you know full well you will get hurt or cause yourself more problems by doing and do it anyway for no other reason than you don't want tod estroy yourself image as someone who cares more about others than him/her self. I mean its all well and good helping other people, but is it worth it if you don't have anything left inside after they are sorted out and have gone away?
Posts: 154 | From: Dundee, United Kingdom | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
quantumfluff
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 450

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Icon 1 posted March 22, 2002 19:24      Profile for quantumfluff     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I hope I don't sound rude, but I have a big problem with "self image as someone who cares more about others than him/her self". To me, that's why you get hurt by the people you help - little self worth. If you help someone else, even if they stab you in the back latter, you should feel good that you at least tried to help someone.

There's also a jumble of thoughts here. Do you befriend and help people then feel a great loss if when they split later? Does the mere act of helping people drain you emotionally? Does this happen so often that you see it as a problem or are you extrapolating from one or two instances?

Personally, I think internal pain/emptiness is a function of not knowing what is important to you. That's actually a hard thing to come to grips with. It's taken me years of adulthood to figure out what I really care about, and how I think the world should be. Given that framework, I can decide how to live my life. If helping the downtrodden is really important to you, then you should not feel a loss if they benefit from your help and move on. If you do feel that loss, then maybe helping them is not *really* your goal. It's very hard, but examing *why* you do something (before you do it) is critical to being happy with how you live your life.


Posts: 2901 | From: 5 to 15 meters above sea level | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged
quantumfluff
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 450

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted March 22, 2002 19:28      Profile for quantumfluff     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
... and now my evil twin speaks about physical pain ...

Bruises. I can't resist pressing bruises. I see this black and blue mark on my skin and I just must touch it to see if it hurts. I know it will, yet I'm always surprised when it does. And it's not just my own. When I see a bruise on my wife, I've got to poke it. Then she whacks me. It's totally stupid behavior but I can't control it. I feel like I'm trapped in EngrBohn's sig.


Posts: 2901 | From: 5 to 15 meters above sea level | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged
EngrBohn
Uber Geek
Member # 476

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Icon 12 posted March 23, 2002 03:17      Profile for EngrBohn     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm so glad to hear that

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cb
Oooh! I must send EngrBohn money!!


Posts: 987 | From: United States | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
EngrBohn
Uber Geek
Member # 476

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Icon 1 posted March 23, 2002 03:23      Profile for EngrBohn     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Seriously, though, don't poke your wife's bruises! Although maybe it's your indirect way of getting more bruises of your own.

The closest things I've got to "seeking out pain" are (i) I keep going back to school (I figure after the PhD, that's it), and (ii) I let my wife place her COLD hands & feet on my bare skin. We're talking damn cold. She could arrange for a hockey rink in Hell without first arranging a pleasant conversation between Apple's iCEO & BillG.

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cb
Oooh! What does this button do!?


Posts: 987 | From: United States | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
TheAnnoyedCockroach
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 1115

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Icon 1 posted March 25, 2002 15:55      Profile for TheAnnoyedCockroach   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Can't say that I do. I mean, I get hurt, yeah. And it doesn't really bother me when I do. But I don't go avidly looking for ways to inflict pain upon myself.
Posts: 1063 | From: The Devil's Dance Floor | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged
TechnoGram
Alpha Geek
Member # 1097

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Icon 1 posted March 25, 2002 19:30      Profile for TechnoGram     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by EngrBohn:
I'm so glad to hear that

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cb
Oooh! I must send EngrBohn money!!


lol, cb

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Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.


Posts: 250 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
TechnoGram
Alpha Geek
Member # 1097

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Icon 1 posted March 25, 2002 19:38      Profile for TechnoGram     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Drazgal:
Does anyone else seem to enjoy hurting themselves? I don't mean physically, I mean running with both arms wide open to do something, help someone or befriend someone even if you know full well you will get hurt or cause yourself more problems by doing and do it anyway for no other reason than you don't want to destroy yourself image as someone who cares more about others than him/her self. I mean its all well and good helping other people, but is it worth it if you don't have anything left inside after they are sorted out and have gone away?

well, if you don't have anything left you can't help anyone else, so you've got to know your limits and make a rational decision as to whether you can.

also, it depends on your relationship with the person you're helping, and what the situation is. i'll do anything for anyone i love deeply if they're in serious trouble -- sick, have lost someone they love, etc. i'll do more for people i love than anyone else, but if they're not in serious trouble i limit it. and in the middle of doing everything i can, i arrange to take breaks to renew my energy, so i can continue.

my self-image no longer includes having to care more about others than i do about myself, because i've learned it turns out to be destructive to you and others if you do more than you can handle.


Posts: 250 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
macadddikt18
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 1082

Icon 1 posted March 26, 2002 09:22      Profile for macadddikt18   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Oddly, i don't like pain, but for some reason i do enjoy hitting myself. I don't hit myself hard, unless you are my pen. I hit myself with pens, cups and other things like spoons. I have yet to do any dammage, unless you count the encounted with the knife. But i find it a good way to reduce stress during tests.
Nayt

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c:/dos
c:/dos/run
run/dos/run


Posts: 1870 | From: In a world beyond your understanding | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted March 26, 2002 22:09      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I am a science major. I also work. I also try to have a life beyond my major. This results in what boils down to masochism. It's not that I like pain - I just have a high threshold and I really don't care. This might explain why I was out biking once in a crosswind so powerful I almost got knocked out of the saddle. It was also below freezing outside.
Beyond stupid stuff like that I consider myself to be a fairly normal person.

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Take by surprise and the world gives up resistance.
- Tennesee Williams


Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
mephisto

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 666

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Icon 1 posted March 27, 2002 03:54      Profile for mephisto     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
WHen I was younger, I liked pain. Not just pain but a lot of it(physical only though). Especially in the gym, you keep moving the weight till you muscles are screaming and you can move them anymore. Then you go about 5 pounds lighter and then go through it again and again and again till by the time you're done, you feel like you're a mass of pain/soreness. Now, thats a good feeling.
my threshold for pain is incredibly high, been stuck in the face with a knife and then proceeded to rip the stupid assholes apart, while part of my face was bleeding like crazy, then got on my bike and rode to the hospital completely calmly. Still have a slight scar from that one. Pain for me is like a stimulant or even something that helps me forget about my mental/emotional agony(temporarily) but since the last little while i've changed most of the time. But every once in a while I do stuff like I used to before.


Posts: 795 | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged


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