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Author Topic: Ready to post again

Benevolent Dictator!
Member # 111

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Icon 7 posted August 17, 2003 09:16      Profile for Nitrozac   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Today is the first day I think I'm ready to put in a whole day's work, so I thought the first thing I should do to get me in the swing of things is to post here and give an update to what's all happened.

As you know my Dad died suddenly, on July 21/03, I travelled back to my old town that I lived in since grade 6. My family and I left the minute after graduation to "the city" because my last year of high school was made a living hell by a group of bullying girls. So, when I arrived in this old town many years later, all these memories flood back to me, and it was really hard to deal with those emotions on top of the big whammy of my Dad being really gone.

So then came the funeral on July 26. It was the longest and hardest day of my life, yet my family and father's friends were absolutely kind and loving to me. The funeral service was so wonderful and just so perfect, and honored my father greatly. I sat in the front row, and got comfort from the elegant, beautiful bouquet of white flowers that was from the Geek Culture community. Snaggy wrote out some condolences for everyone to read, and my techno-savvy and techno-not-so-savvy relatives were VERY touched. I saw my brother read them and cry, he was very moved, and he's very much a very big part of Geek Culture behind the scenes, so to speak.

The last part of the big funeral day was the tea held at my parent's church. This is a tradition from waaaaaay back. People could get up and say what they wanted to say about my Dad, and it was so amazing to hear the stories that a lot of my cousin's had. *crying* Then later, people came up and told me their own stories about what a great man my father was in their eyes.

You see, my father was bricklayer. Bricklayers aren't usually considered a high-up job. But the very church this tea was held in was surrounded by the bricks that he laid. I remember I sometimes liked to help him, and I insisted to lay about 6 or so bricks myself to be able to say that he and I laid the bricks. There was some bricks leftover and they were wondering what to do with them, my father suggested a fireplace in the basement. That church then had a fireside room, and so many meetings, showers, and so forth were held in that room. That fireplace is something to behold- triple arches, huge, and beautiful. Then, all over town my brother who helped him as his laubourer pointed out all the bricks and stone work around town that my Dad and he did. In a smaller town, where he and my mom had an apartment in the last year, his work was everywhere, even that very apartment building. Steps away was a church that he had done using tindlestone (his favorite), with fossils hidden here and there. It was awesome, and I thought of his hands touching each and every stone. I finally came to realize, when he was gone, what a legacy he left behind, what an honor. Those buildings will probably be standing long after I'm gone too.

We stayed at our parent's log cabin, and inside were his many, many ongoing projects. It was sort of the running joke in our family, but it was his hobby, his reason to get up in the morning. I just learned this year that my grandfather (his father) used to build log cabins in Germany. There was his coat rack, with his winter jacket, his fishing jacket, his light summer jacket, just a lot of jackets for the right occassion. In the laundry room was a shelf for all of his boots. Last year, he was really fascinated by a Robin's nest built on top of the ladder. He cared for those birds like you wouldn't believe! This year he built a little platform for the Robin, but was disappointed that she didn't come back. However, he did find her new spot which was much more protected from the elements, and he enjoyed watching the whole nesting, and hatching, and fledgling process.

My father had diabetes, and was enrolled in this new program for Diabetics to become active, and get a new attitude about excercise. It was through his doctor, and he was all checked out, and they gave him and my mom a pedometer, and worked up to his goal of 10,000 steps a day. It was a group program, and he came to enjoy it very much, he sort of was the most inactive one, but by the end of the program he was the star student. We talked about it every week, his progress, and I was sooooo proud of him, and his change. He was happier, he lost weight, and was getting in good shape! I was so proud. His last day his pedometer read over 11,000 steps! In the back of the cabin, Snaggy showed me his footprints, where he started another project, as it turned out those were his last steps, and they were still there, still making their impression on this earth, soon to be worn away by the wind and rain, yet the man who made those steps was now gone.

At the tea at our church I told them about that part of my Dad's life, and I encouraged the older people to seek out this program, called First Steps and get into it, and maybe they can feel better. I promised that I was going to do it too, I'm going to walk for at least 45 minutes to an hour every day, and if no one goes with me, I'll be walking with my Dad.

So, at the end of the funeral day, we went back to the cabin and I was determined to follow my Dad's last walk. Me, my Mom, and Brother and his fiance joined me. We did the whole route, and it took us 15 minutes longer than he did! I was tired after! I was pretty impressed with my Dad!

During that whole week of preparing for the funeral, greiving, going through that day the cabin was plagued by mosquitoes after about 9:30pm, my mom and I were ironing our clothes and she got one under the iron, I was trying to write something and they were landing on my fingers, I was trying to sleep, but they'd find their way in and buzz in your ears, it was awful!

I returned to the cabing a few days later to take some pictures, and I'll never forget, gone were the mosquitoes, and the whole front of the log cabin was covered in about 20 or more of these beautiful butterflies, and they were flitting about in and around the Robin's nest, and they'd fly right up to me. Mom said she never saw that before. But, I'd like to think it was my Dad, somehow saying goodbye, or wishing me well.

Posts: 1173 | Registered: Dec 1999  |  IP: Logged

Member # 780

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Icon 1 posted August 17, 2003 09:58      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Welcome back, Nitrozac - it's great to have you around again! Your tribute to your father is great, and I'm glad you got to learn as much as you did while there from others whose lives he touched.

I think the walking program you speak of is a great idea, and I personally enjoy doing a good bit of walking to get away from things and clear my head. Of course, walking with someone else ( [hearts] ) is a good thing as well - but I am not always afforded such a pleasure. Consider the walk I shall surely be taking after lunch dedicated to your dad & his healthy pursuit.

There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9335 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 1523

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Icon 1 posted August 17, 2003 10:06      Profile for GMx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That was a really touching post. Thanks for sharing all that with us. It's great that your father lives on through his work all over town. It's interesting that your father worked with earth and stone and you're very interested in rocks. Connection? I had a hard time keeping back the tears. [Happytears] Love to you from all of us. [Smile]
Posts: 5851 | From: S-4, Area 51 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Uber Geek
Member # 2140

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Icon 1 posted August 17, 2003 11:05      Profile for addiew   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
thank you for sharing those moments and memories with us all. glad you are back

My LiveJournal|homepage- shameless, I know

Posts: 823 | From: Oregon | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2071

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Icon 1 posted August 17, 2003 11:53      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
In these cynical times it is good to hear the story of a good and honourable man. Thank you.

"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

Posts: 2922 | From: Brighton - UK | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged

Member # 1234

Icon 1 posted August 17, 2003 13:32      Profile for Tut-an-Geek   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Nitrozac, I'm glad to see you back, and thank you for sharing your story, and memories.
Posts: 3764 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

Member # 1477

Icon 1 posted August 17, 2003 20:33      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Welcome back...I too, was choking back the tears as I read....gave my son an extra night time kiss as I read to him.

Life is so beautiful, yet so fragile [weep]

(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Twinkle Toes
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 1208

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Icon 3 posted August 18, 2003 03:08      Profile for Twinkle Toes   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Reading that post of yours, Nitrozac, was difficult for me too. My dad is a contractor, and what you said about the bird's nest brought back some of the better memories I shared with him. When my mom and dad lived together, he used to do lots of nature projects in our 'backyard.' He built a birdhouse and a nice pond. Sometimes he'd get frustrated because the raccoons would sneak into our backyard and eat the fish. My dad also did a lot of gardening. I used to make my mom buy flower plants so I could put them next to all of his.

He also told me that when he was a boy he'd found an injured squirrel and actually helped and trained him to walk and climb again.

Another memory I have of him was when he took me to a fancy hotel that he was doing work in. Usually after he had finished with the woodwork, I'd take the leftover pieces and nail them together. On that particular day I remember being proud of myself for making a wooden dog. All it was was two blocks nail together with one protruding farther than the other, which was supposed to be the nose and mouth. 8^D

Posts: 1617 | From: a membrane near you! | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 646

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Icon 1 posted August 18, 2003 05:55      Profile for DigitalBill   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Welcome back Nitro! You were missed. Thanks for sharing those touching and personal thoughts

It's interesting, about the butterflies. After my mom died (10 years ago [Eek!] ), both my Uncle (her brother) and I had experiences we felt were contacts from her. I say there's more in this universe we don't understand than that which we DO understand. If you felt your Dad's presence then and there, what a great sign to remember him by.

Be well, N.


"You never get over it, but it gets better." - WGD3 (my dad, after mom died)

I've found life is so much better in the cartoon universe!
"No power in the 'Verse can stop us!"

Posts: 604 | From: The Wizards of Technology Binary Bunker | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged

Member # 590

Icon 1 posted August 18, 2003 06:44      Profile for rw   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Welcome back. We have all missed you. What a wonderful story about your father; he certainly left an enduring legacy.
Posts: 429 | From: Kirkland, Wash. (US of A) | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
Member # 1068

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Icon 1 posted August 18, 2003 06:58      Profile for FatGnome     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Great to have ya back. My whole family loves birds as well. We have bird feeders and houses up everywhere around our yard. My favorite birds though are the ones that nest on the ground as they are the easiest to observe (if you can ever find the nest) and a close second would definatly be the Robins. They do so much out in the open for us to see and enjoy. Your dad sounds like he was a great guy that will be missed and loved forever.

What a complete and utter waste of time to read my Signature don't you think?

Posts: 559 | From: Idaho | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Titanium Warrior
Alpha Geek
Member # 1885

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Icon 1 posted August 18, 2003 09:45      Profile for Titanium Warrior   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Welcome back Nitro... I was very moved by your posting and glad you are left with a memory that inspires you and reminds you of all that was great in your father.

Heartfelt wishes to you.

I used to have super powers until my therapist took them away.

Posts: 333 | From: Victoria, BC Canada | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

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Icon 1 posted August 18, 2003 13:14      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Welcome back Nitrozac. That was such a sweet story.

My dad did (and to some extent still does) carpentry as a hobby. He built a bunch of stuff in our yard when we still lived in MD and did projects around the house. When I became big enough to sorta lift stuff, I would also "help" - we've got a great picture of me up a ladder, covered in dirt "helping" with something in the basement. I was four at the time. Around our house, you can tell which bedrooms I've lived in because they have built-in bookcases he made.

And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Member # 2340

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Icon 1 posted August 18, 2003 14:57      Profile for Aditu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
When my mother passed away five years ago, a friend shared a Chinese verse that I liked. I am trying to remember it, so if I get part wrong, sorry.

Take a lump of clay
Bend it and fold it
Make a statute of you
And a statue of me

Then shatter them
Clatter them
Bend it and fold it

Make a statue of you
And a statue of me
In you there are bits of me
In me there are bits of you
And nothing will be the same

Posts: 1355 | From: Osten Ard | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged

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