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Author Topic: What kind of superhero were (are) you?
Tech Angel
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Icon 6 posted November 10, 2002 02:24      Profile for Tech Angel     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
What kind of superhero were (are) you? I'd like to know, and I'm sure others would, too.

I grew up on superheroes -- mainly the DC Comics icons -- and became enraptured with the thought of being one, too. I can trace my initial facination to seeing my first copy of the Justice League of America at age 6 and thinking “You mean there are superheros other than Superman?!” It was at that point that I began crafting a secret identity for myself.

First I was Wonder Woman (well, there weren’t a whole lot of other super gals to choose from back then). Then my creativity took hold and I invented “Flashgirl!” (no, she was not an exhibitionist -- just a young Flash wannabe with a cape...gotta have a cape if you’re super, right?). That character evolved into Speedball (my first totally original creation).

Speedball had the standard generic set of superpowers: extraordinary strength, various kinds of super-vision, speed, and near invulnerability (her Kryptonite was called “Elex” and could only be shielded with pure nickle). But she had one additional power that often came in handy. By running really fast (like to the tree in the yard and back in less than 10 seconds), she could split herself into two entities: a visible one that was the mild-mannered secret identity, and the super one which was invisible. This power came in handy when skeptics asked why I wasn’t flying after that run and a leap. Simple, I told them: I, the secret identity, am still here -- Speedball is out saving, well, whomever needed to be saved.

When my brother and I moved from New York to Arizona at ages 8 and 10, respectively, we found fascinating new creatures in the desert where we lived on which to base new superhero creations. This was about the time that Batman had become popular on TV, so the Scorpion and the Tarantula (that was me) were equipped with a wide assortment of weapons, tools, and other gizmos on our makeshift utility belts.

As the years passed, we became more engrossed with science fiction and we slowly revealed to each other our secret pasts: he, I gather, was sent from the planet Mars to watch over civilization and protect it from itself. Likewise, I hailed from cloud-shrouded Venus to guide this primitive culture toward membership into the community of other planets. Apparently we knew men were from Mars and women from Venus well before John Gray publicized it.

It was around then that I invented a super-alter-ego that I have kept to this day: Astrelle (with the accent on the second syllable). Astrelle had no inherent superpowers, but being from a more advanced civilization, she was superintelligent, extremely agile, and above all, well-equipped with about every fanciful gadget you can possibly imagine to help her through her challenging day: an impervious form-fitting jumpsuit, anti-gravity boots, special hood and goggles with which she could detect any frequency of electromagnetic radiation, and the coup de gras -- a belt buckle materializer which would materialize into her outstretched waiting hand any tool, weapon, or other gadget she needed upon her merely thinking it (good fashion sense: no more need for a heavy utility belt!). Somewhere around here I still have the detailed picture I drew of her in this outfit. (But no cape, though -- she had outgrown the need for such purposeless flamboyance.)

The name Astelle stuck, and both students and some teachers knew me by that name. My mother even added an extra “A” when she initialed my clothes before I went to camp. (You know you must be super when your own mother acknowledges it!)

Anyway, just so you know ... the reason Earth survived that attack by the Mercurians in the late 60’s was because my brother and I successfully fended them off. You can thank us later. ;-)

So ..... were any of you ever superheroes? If so, what name did you have? What was your secret identity? (If you don’t want to reveal it here, we’ll understand.) What were your special powers? If you came from somewhere else (planet, star, galaxy), where did you come from, and why were you here (visit, stranded, on a special mission)?

For those of you mere mortals who are not superheroes, what kind would you like to be? What name would you go by? What powers would you like to have? What would be your Achilles heel (Kryptonite, anything that’s yellow, New York cheesecake)?

I am interested in finding out if there are others out there like me. (Um... is that “like me” as in “also a superhero” or as in “also two tacos short of a combination plate”?)

Thanks in advance for “coming out” right here in the Geekculture forums!

- Tech Angel (<-- I ‘spose this is my current superheroine name. It’s apt. :-)

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We must be the change we want to see in the world. -Mahatma Ghandi

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SupportGoddess

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Icon 1 posted November 10, 2002 03:35      Profile for SupportGoddess   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Occasionally my superpowers manifest themselves. I usually share these momentous events with coworkers.

Almost two months ago there was a nasty head cold going around work. I can't think of a more delicate description than basically it turned you into a snot factory. I came in and announced to my boss that I was now "Mucus Girl" and that my superpower was grossing out villians.

At the beginning of October when I was moving another superpower replaced being able to produce gallons of slime from my nose. I became "Leopard Girl" (from having so many bruises I was literally spotted) and my superpower was being able to cause myself bodily harm on common household items. This does not have much villian-defeating potential built into it, but I figure if they are laughing so hard they can't move other (more able) superheroes can swoop in and deal with them.

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"A heretic is a man who sees with his own eyes."
-Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

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snupy
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Icon 12 posted November 10, 2002 08:06      Profile for snupy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'd like to be GenieGirl. She'd have the ability to make any wish come true. Plus, she'd look really hot in her Genie outfit. No 'Master', though.

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"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family

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Allan
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Icon 1 posted November 10, 2002 09:36      Profile for Allan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
given my weekend struggles with trying to get Oracle 9i and a port of Cold Fusion server onto an G3 i-book, I think I'm becoming coffee induced hallucinating I don't know jack about unix boy... but maybe I'm posting in the wrong category.

When I was a kid we used to play "the streets of San fransisco" (a Quinn Martin production!) where we'd alternate being villians and cops, chasing each other through our neighbours gardens. Always ended in me having a fight with my brother though.

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technosquirrel 101
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Icon 1 posted November 10, 2002 09:44      Profile for technosquirrel 101     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by SupportGoddess:
Occasionally my superpowers manifest themselves. I usually share these momentous events with coworkers.

Almost two months ago there was a nasty head cold going around work. I can't think of a more delicate description than basically it turned you into a snot factory. I came in and announced to my boss that I was now "Mucus Girl" and that my superpower was grossing out villians.

At the beginning of October when I was moving another superpower replaced being able to produce gallons of slime from my nose. I became "Leopard Girl" (from having so many bruises I was literally spotted) and my superpower was being able to cause myself bodily harm on common household items. This does not have much villian-defeating potential built into it, but I figure if they are laughing so hard they can't move other (more able) superheroes can swoop in and deal with them.

wow, a back-up superheroine! mostly unseen but yet maybe the backbone of the army of superheroes...

guess, i can join you in your tasks... i'm invisibilio. in real life (you know, that strange place outside your room) only few ppl listen to what i say though there've been many many situations where they'd better had. am i talking too quiet? no. am i talking nonsense? no. so it must be my superpower... the cassandra-complex.

why are ppl only so stubborn?

hey, my arch-enemy would then be persisto!

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...this post was brought to you by technosquirrel 101. - "who said i had a plan?"

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted November 10, 2002 14:34      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
When I was little I wanted to be Superman. Then Luke Skywalker. Then She-Ra. Too bad all these people are much more coordinated than I can ever hope to be.

I never invented an alterego for myself. My only superpowers are invisibility and sarcasm. I can walk like a ghost when i feel like it, and totally blend with my surroundings so no one sees me, though this latter ability seems to be totally out of my conscious control, making it more of a super-Achilles Heel at times.
The sarcasm, well, I can lighten any bad day or deflate any swollen ego with a well-placed sarcastic comment. Everything else about me is within normal limits. Some things, like my endurance, are on the far side of normal though. Oh yeah, and my mom thinks I have special power over the weather. You'll have to ask her why.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted November 10, 2002 22:19      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hmm, I don't quite see myself as a superhero - but if I was, it would probably revolve around my Linux/tech. support abilities. My tools would be a roll of duct tape, and a copy of Knoppix. However, on most occasions, I am always with my Victorinox Cybertool, and LNX-BBC (Linux-Bootable Business Card). I usually try to embrace the power of the Penguin :-).

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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graphicrevolution
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Icon 1 posted November 10, 2002 22:46      Profile for graphicrevolution   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
if you've ever read my comic, you'd know that I am a superhero. no secret identity required. just gimme a sword and a cheesy one-liner...

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Hey, what's that on your face?

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technosquirrel 101
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Icon 1 posted November 11, 2002 08:37      Profile for technosquirrel 101     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
I never invented an alterego for myself. My only superpowers are invisibility and sarcasm. I can walk like a ghost when i feel like it, and totally blend with my surroundings so no one sees me, though this latter ability seems to be totally out of my conscious control, making it more of a super-Achilles Heel at times.
The sarcasm, well, I can lighten any bad day or deflate any swollen ego with a well-placed sarcastic comment.

hey, you're one of us invisible persons, too!

maybe we can form a secret force of invisible ones to finally fight evil persisto! lol [Big Grin] i guess a concentrated sarcasm-ray cast in the right moment could actually disturb his/their non-listening-shields long enough to fire a vortex of disturbance at his/their very persistent consciousness(es)... [Beard of Peter Gabriel!]

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...this post was brought to you by technosquirrel 101. - "who said i had a plan?"

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cheezi git
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Icon 1 posted November 11, 2002 09:08      Profile for cheezi git     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i would be the unbelievable cheez monster. ready to do battle with the small minded people of this world. i would destroy censorship with a squirt of fondu. i would defeat racism with a cheddar cheez sandwich. i would eradicate poverty with a toasted round of ragstone. and i would make sure that everyone who wanted would get free cheese every day

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there were so many stains on the road. squashed miss mitten-shaped stains in the universe. squashed frog-shaped stains in the universe. squashed crows that tried to eat the squashed frog-shaped stains in the universe. squashed dogs...

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Alien Investor
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Icon 10 posted November 11, 2002 13:43      Profile for Alien Investor     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
In one of his essays, Isaac Asimov wrote that human's distinguishing power is intelligence. Who needs a paranormal power like ESP, when you can just use a telephone? Or super strength, when you can use a motor?

That influenced me. I always wanted to have a super-powered brain: perfect memory, lightning fast correlation, super intuition, reads 100 pages per minute (that was my idea of fast, back in the day), and so on.

Also I wanted to have several identical clones with the same powers, so that we could work together on super problems. Yeah. I wanted to Beowulf myself!

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"love without fear"

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Charisma
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Icon 1 posted November 11, 2002 14:17      Profile for Charisma   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I would be like Dr. X's son (I think...) He was the one who had ice power and stuff... that was cool.

Or invisibility / ghost power and all the cools tuff I could do with THAT in high school. [Wink]

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http://www.basseq.com

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iballoondesign
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Icon 6 posted November 11, 2002 17:06      Profile for iballoondesign   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I want to be Impulse, the fastest boy alive. I could do anything I want to make fun out in school. Plus, I don't have to worry about gas, insurance, ride on airplane to other country. Heck, I could steal some money. [Wink]

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[color=blue]My brain is loading, please wait...[/color]

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Colonel Panic
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Icon 1 posted November 14, 2002 16:20      Profile for Colonel Panic         Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Tech Angel:
What kind of superhero were (are) you? I'd like to know, and I'm sure others would, too.

Easy! The Incredible Hulk. Not to be vain, here's the story.

Long ago, I was the skinniest, most pencil-necked-geek in all the land. Bullies would come for miles around just for the chance to beat me up and put another stripe of adhesive tape on my glasses.

Not an episode of "Star Trek" would go by without me watching it bruised, battered and in serious hurt.

Then one day, I became engaged to a beautiful, little princess -- the most beautiful in all the land. And to make the princess happy I bought the cutest little happily-ever-after home in all the geekdom. Just like robert Palmer said, she was so fine, there was no telling where the money went. Then, the day before we were to be married and fly away to a honeymoon in the Carribean, and live happily ever after, I came home from work to find the Princess gone and the house empty except for a note that said, "I couldn't bring my self to tell you, I decided not to get married. Plus I took your money and the house stuff so I could get a fresh start. I'm sorry."

For a moment, I laughed a little laugh and thought, "Well, we won't see this script on Lifetime TV. That's when the tears began to well.

And so I cried my skinny geek tears. And wailed my frail geek wails. And pounded my wan fists into the wicked wide wall and hurt my wan hand.

Then I vowed to finish the garden I promised to build for the princess. And for two years that is all I did. I smashed rocks and built walls and walks and patios. Every morning up at 5:00 to smash and move rocks until it was time to go to work. Every night until 10:00 and I went to bed. Every weekend from Friday Night to Sunday night. Dirt and rocks, and everything. As I smashed each rock I would shout, "You bit ... uh, yeah, well I would shout quite a bit. All until it was done. And I stopped.

That very day I stopped, I went to the old watering hole, where a swarm of watering hole princesses sashayed up to me and said, "Excuse me?" "You're not the skinny-geek Colonel Panic are you?"

"You're neck is too thick!"

"You're arms are too strong!"

"You're head is too smooth!"

And I said, "Really? And by the way, don't quit that head thing."

"Oh yes, really!" The princesses cried, "And you're shoulders are so broad!"

"No wonder my shirts don't fit!" I declared. I was surprised and did not know what had happened.

"You're shoulders are so broad," said one of the watering hole princesses, that I'd like to strap my legs across your shoulders and ..."

And right then, a hush came over the watering hole. And all the crowd stared like in a EF Huton commerical.

"And?" I asked.

"And," said the blushing Princess, "I'll tell you when we are alone."

Well, as time wore on stories like this became more and more frequent. The littlest geek was no longer a little geek. But still I had doubts -- hulking in the back of my mind.

Then one day ...

The newfound hulk was out with the marvelous leg-strapping princess at the movie house. And four rows back were two annoying bullies, picking on the land's brand-new skinniest little geek in all the land, and his princess.

"Die Geek!" They called and threw their popcorn.

"Hey Dolly! Why don't you dump that geek and spend some time with some real men?" They heckled.

I thought to myself, "Real jerks is more like it!"

"Hey Geek! Why are you wasting our air?" The bullies just would not stop.

That's when I got hulking mad. And wondered if these hulk things were real. I stopped and thought and told my leg-strapping princess, "I think it's time to put these shoulders to work!"

"Can't that wait until after the movie?" The leg-strapping princess inquired. "I mean it is kind of public..."

"Not that kind of work, sweetie." The angered hulk replied and stalked off to the row behind the bullies."

With one hand on one bullie's shoulder, and another hand on the shoulder of the other bully, Hulk asked, "Gentlemen?"

"Wha th' f ... oh" The bullies cried, popcorn dribbling from their mealy mouths.

"You look like Stone Cold!" Cried one.

"Are you going to kill us?" Asked the other.

"I hadn't thought of that."

"Cool."

"Shoving that popcorn so far up your backside that you can taste it's buttery flavor, is more what I had in mind."

"Oh." they sighed deply, and began to bend over, resigned to fate.

"Whoa, that can wait! Right now, I just want you to know that I did not spend money on these movie tickets just to hear you two pick on this couple. Do you understand me?"

"Yes ... sir." They gulped.

I thought the sir part was pretty cool, and feeling my oats and new found Hulk powers, I pressed on. "Before I let you two go, I think it would be a good idea to apologize to this couple you've terrorized."

"Sor-ree," They whined.

"Not good enough." I retorted. Then feeling how good "sir" felt, and knowing how long it took for this geek to be called "sir," I demanded, "Say, 'I'm sorry, sir. I'm sorry, ma'am, for being such jerks!'" And they gladly complied.

A cheer came up from the crowd as I returned to my seat. And the anxious look that had been growing on the usher's face quickly turned to a smile.

It felt good. Real good to this one-time pencil-neck geek.

The leg-strapping princess later strapped me 'cross her shoulders. And and even later, boy, she took me for a ride.

As good as that felt, this geek's revenge felt even better.

A true story.

Colonel Panic,
Sometimes super-hero

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graphicrevolution
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Icon 1 posted November 14, 2002 18:56      Profile for graphicrevolution   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That is the best story ever.. wish things like that happened more often. I remember there was a kid in H.S. that always had something to say to me..you know, under the breath remarks, and other crap.. One day, a few years ago, he delivered my pizza...that was funny.
-Jesse

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technosquirrel 101
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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2002 05:29      Profile for technosquirrel 101     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
wow, colonel! now, that's some kinda truly admirable real-life-superhero you are...

earned my deepest respect. [Smile]

btw, do you turn green then? [Wink]

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...this post was brought to you by technosquirrel 101. - "who said i had a plan?"

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skylar
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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2002 05:43      Profile for skylar     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Excellent story, Bruce..err, colonel [Wink] ... a source of inspiration for pencil necked geeks everywhere [Happytears]

sky

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neotatsu
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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2002 09:11      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I've never been 'pencil necked'... I stopped caring about any insults in second grade when a girl four times my size tried to tell me I was fat, heh. I've never really 'stood up' to any bully, but then, I've never really had a true bully, just the under the breath muttering mostly, though there were a few who flat out said it to my face (generally I either don't want to get in trouble, or I'm just trying not to explode on someone like that just because I don't want to be like my dad and brother.)

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I'm curious... About what, you ask? EVERYTHING!

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2002 15:11      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, Colonel Panic, that was truly an inspiring story. I think my newer source of actual exercise would involve moving computers (and monitors), which I have been doing in my job in IT (though less frequently now). Someday, I actually intend to do some real form of exercise, I just don't know when that will be. Even today, I still occasionally endure mocking from a few strange, odd, (and sometimes totally random) people.

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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Tech Angel
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Icon 7 posted November 15, 2002 23:35      Profile for Tech Angel     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Colonel Panic:
Easy! The Incredible Hulk. Not to be vain, here's the story.....

Well, Colonel Panic Sir, I'm not sure how much of that story is embellishment, but I can tell you I sure enjoyed reading it. You definitely have a flair for spicing up what might otherwise have been a straight narrative.

And I'm sorry about the first princess...really. [Frown]

- Tech Angel

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We must be the change we want to see in the world. -Mahatma Ghandi

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Charisma
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Icon 1 posted November 16, 2002 09:24      Profile for Charisma   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
wow... the innuendo in that story is... OFF THE HOOK! Way to stand up for the pencil-necked geeks everywhere.
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SupportGoddess

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Icon 1 posted November 16, 2002 11:15      Profile for SupportGoddess   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Colonel, what a great story. I would be happy to have you on my superhero team any time. [Wink]

quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
I think my newer source of actual exercise would involve moving computers (and monitors), which I have been doing in my job in IT (though less frequently now). Someday, I actually intend to do some real form of exercise, I just don't know when that will be.

Dragonman, the *stereotype* geek is scrawny and week or else overweight. The company I work for, you won't find any of either in the IT department (at least the on-site teams) for exactly the reason you mentioned. Moving 60+ (or 100+) computers and monitors at a moment's notice tends to keep that at bay.

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"A heretic is a man who sees with his own eyes."
-Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted November 16, 2002 12:33      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Great story Colonel!

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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MrMachineCode
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Icon 1 posted November 16, 2002 15:26      Profile for MrMachineCode     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That was the best story I ever read, Col. Panic. When I was 14 I weighed about a 110 pounds soaking wet. When I lost my princess of the time, I vowed I would work out and become self confident and get her back. I ended up joining the Marines, too, and now I weigh 170 pounds and know some basic martial arts and ground fighting from the Marines. In the end I did get the girl, but then we broke up again after 6 months. But that's another story.

I am actually the product of a genetic engineering experiment, like in Heinlein's novel Friday. My powers include supernormal intelligence, prenomitions, and the ability to raise the serotonin levels in my brain to the point where I have faster reflexes and thinking, elevated mood, heightened sexual ability, superhuman strength and endurance, and the ability to go without sleep for several days. Oh, wait, that last is manic-depressive illness. I'd better go take my depakote.

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Thanatos
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Icon 1 posted November 24, 2002 14:50      Profile for Thanatos     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Col Panic, that story rocked. I hope it's true. If not, I don't care....either way, I'm posting it on my website. you get credit though! [Smile]
<p>
I for one haven't really had a lot of those problems that geeks traditionally do...I've always been athletic and outgoing, and generally get along with folks....however, my biggest struggle is finding someone with enough intellect to carry on 64 conversations at once ranging from astrophysics to networking to auto mechanics. Being in Mississippi doesn't help either. Can't wait to move for that reason, though it sure is pretty here....

Posts: 87 | From: I don't dare say | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged


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