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Author Topic: Bandwidth is a turn-on.
Angry Rooster
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Icon 12 posted November 25, 2001 04:03      Profile for Angry Rooster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This isn't to say that those of you on dial-up are necessarily unappealing, simply that your sex appeal increases dramatically with added bandwidth...

This also doesn't qualify simply adding bandwidth as an instant cureall, broadband does not the alluring individual make. It simply magnifies that which already exists...

Or, to keep it simple, Bandwidth is a turn-on.

Anyway, I wrote a little poem...

An Ode to Broadband

Oh broadband how I love your speed,
You cater to my every need,
I choose a file, now itís here,
Almost LAN-like, feels so near,
Transferring at enormous rate,
Thus Iím to work no longer late,
Waiting not for pics to load,
They travel quickly to my node,
Sped here through the ISP,
Delivered to me instantly,
Oh broadband how you make me glad,
Though sometimes angry just a tad,
The cable modem does unsync,
Suddenly Iíve time to think,
Those files through your protocols,
My phone now rings when someone calls
No more can I multitask,
You bring me sites before I ask
I finish surfing far too soon,
Oh dear god itís only noon,
How I long for those days past,
Waxing modems made them ďfastĒ
Each bit transferred was worth praise,
Now gigs pass without a faze,
When the problem was a phone line dead,
Not this blinking light instead,
Since you leave me so irate,
Your value I must speculate,
Is it truly worth the price,
This ever-growing bandwidth vice?
To this I answer yes indeed,
Oh broadband how I love your speed.

Ok, so it isn't the best argument for bandwidth being a turn-on, but it does serve as an excellent example... if poetry about bandwidth is sexy(and I'm pretty sure that's a downright lecherous poem), then bandwidth itself is sexy.

At least, *I* felt a surge of charisma when I finally installed my broadband... or maybe that was an improper ground...

------------------
--Angry Rooster
Who is mildly upset at the loss of HTML code and the inability to align or use a smaller text size with the current UBB settings.


Posts: 376 | From: Coeur d'Alene, ID, USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
EngrBohn
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Icon 12 posted November 25, 2001 04:26      Profile for EngrBohn     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Aaarrrrggghhh!

Foul Vorgon! I'll talk, I'll talk.

I agree, broadband (in my case DSL) is nice. I think the two nicest things are that Caryl's stopped asking me if I'm downloading something (because she no longer has dramatic slowdowns when loading webpages on her computer while I'm working on mine), and that when remotely logged in across the internet, I no longer shout obscenitites when I accidentally launch a remote X-Windows application.

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cb
Oooh! What does this button do!?


Posts: 987 | From: United States | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
Angry Rooster
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Icon 12 posted November 25, 2001 04:28      Profile for Angry Rooster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by EngrBohn:
Aaarrrrggghhh!

Foul Vorgon! I'll talk, I'll talk.


I'll take that as a compliment, since Vorgons only write the 14th worst poetry in the universe. Unless of course you meant Vogon, in which case I think I shall have you thrown out of the nearest air lock.

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--Angry Rooster
"Eagles may soar, but roosters don't get sucked into jet engines."

P.S. Before Snaggy gets to say it, there is a similar Ode here.


Posts: 376 | From: Coeur d'Alene, ID, USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
SupportGoddess

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Icon 1 posted November 25, 2001 16:14      Profile for SupportGoddess   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Broadband is a turn on in the same way excessive amounts of RAM is a turn on.

Now *poetry* about bandwidth is downright impressive.

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reality.sys corrupted. universe halted. reboot (y/n)?


Posts: 1148 | From: The Digital Temple | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted November 25, 2001 16:36      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think you have it a bit backwards. High bandwidth doesn't increase your sex appeal, in increases your computer's sex appeal. That's why you spend so much more time with it after you get a good connection.
Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Angry Rooster
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Icon 1 posted November 25, 2001 17:04      Profile for Angry Rooster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That's possible Steen, but the fact remains that the person still has their hotness factor increased by more bandwidth, if only due to the fact that they have access to such a sultry computer.

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--Angry Rooster
"Eagles may soar, but roosters don't get sucked into jet engines."


Posts: 376 | From: Coeur d'Alene, ID, USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
JainDough
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Icon 6 posted November 26, 2001 13:29      Profile for JainDough     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by SupportGoddess:
Broadband is a turn on in the same way excessive amounts of RAM is a turn on.

its not how much RAM you've got, its how you use it

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hell is other people -Jean Paul Sartre


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Ti
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Icon 1 posted November 26, 2001 13:53      Profile for Ti   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think broadbands just a turn on because it allows you to download porn faster. That and there's something romantic about a room thats romantically lit by the blinking LED's of a hub...

Kevin
--
Who finds it hard to sleep unless he has the comforting sounds of hard drives and CPU fans spinning


Posts: 377 | From: Sunnyvale, CA | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
SupportGoddess

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Icon 1 posted November 26, 2001 23:08      Profile for SupportGoddess   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by JainDough:
its not how much RAM you've got, its how you use it


Well, usage is important, but how much of it there is really does matter... I can't pant the same way over 128 as I can over a gig.

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reality.sys corrupted. universe halted. reboot (y/n)?


Posts: 1148 | From: The Digital Temple | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ti
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Icon 1 posted November 27, 2001 09:18      Profile for Ti   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by SupportGoddess:
[BI can't pant the same way over 128 as I can over a gig.[/B]

Watch it supportgoddess, the thought of any female panting over RAM is the stuff geeky dreams are made of.

Kevin
--
Well that and 0111001010110111


Posts: 377 | From: Sunnyvale, CA | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lewstherin1080
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Icon 1 posted November 27, 2001 17:49      Profile for Lewstherin1080     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The computer I'm about to get has a gig of DDR... *drools* a gig of RAM... Woah. I used to think 128 was a lot.

Ah... Unreal Tournament on a cable modem with 1GB of RAM and a geForce3 Ti. There's nothing more appealing than that


Posts: 3 | From: Somewhere in the minute space between my TNT and my AGP slot... | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
SupportGoddess

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Icon 1 posted November 27, 2001 23:51      Profile for SupportGoddess   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Ti:
Watch it supportgoddess, the thought of any female panting over RAM is the stuff geeky dreams are made of.

Kevin
--
Well that and 0111001010110111


LOL

Well, I have always been a firm believer in the fact that size does matter.

(Hey, I'm talking monitors and hard drives and pipelines, here. )

And I have been wanting to share this, and this is probably the right thread: I know why we do this for a living... because you can order a case of compressed air to clean equipment out and it will come with a brand name like Blow Hard. We got a case of that in a couple weeks ago, I laughed until my ribs hurt.

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reality.sys corrupted. universe halted. reboot (y/n)?


Posts: 1148 | From: The Digital Temple | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
supaboy
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Icon 1 posted November 29, 2001 07:52      Profile for supaboy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Ti:
...there's something romantic about a room thats romantically lit by the blinking LED's of a hub...

There's not much romantic about the blinking lights on the switch here. They're more like that episode of Pokemon which set off seizures in a bunch of children, heh heh.


Posts: 1767 | From: Columbia, SC USA | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
EngrBohn
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Icon 6 posted November 29, 2001 08:19      Profile for EngrBohn     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
- Ti -
there's something romantic about a room thats romantically lit by the blinking LED's of a hub

- Supaboy -
There's not much romantic about the blinking lights on the switch here.

I don't know about romantic, but the blinking lights sure can be exciting. A few years back I built a Beowulf for my master's research, and when I got to the point in my research that I started the scripts to run all my test cases, I'd just stare at the switch from time to time. Periods of silence (calculation-intensive portion of my code) interleaved with bursts of blinking green lights as data changed hands. The occasional red collision light to add drama. There was just something about those green lights going on and off almost faster than the eye could register that screamed "I'm running parallel code!"

And of course there's the Christmas trick of trying to max out the network's capacity to create many, many collisions and get a nice combination of red and green blinking lights. Never quite pulled it off enough for anyone to say "ooh, how Christmassy", though.

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cb
Oooh! What does this button do!?


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trowelblister
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Icon 10 posted November 29, 2001 18:36      Profile for trowelblister   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
While I personally think our DSL is faboo, my non-geek wife ain't exactly turned on by it. She does appreciate the speed, because she has little patience with anything electronic or mechanical, but most of her online jaunts have to do with email (addicted), online greeting cards, the odd movie trailer, or maybe some vague surfing. The upshot is that sexy is probably relative. Sexy is the three words in my ear that make me go right to shutdown and abandon all geekiness.
Posts: 242 | From: lansdale, pa, usa | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
SupportGoddess

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Icon 6 posted November 29, 2001 22:43      Profile for SupportGoddess   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yay! My DSL kit came from Verizon today, I scrounged up a NIC, and I am just waiting on the confirmation email from them. I will probably get it set this weekend, so that I am ready when they are. And it is an external modem, so I can have some blinky lights at home too.

Ok, I will take my happy-dancing self somewhere else now...

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reality.sys corrupted. universe halted. reboot (y/n)?


Posts: 1148 | From: The Digital Temple | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Angry Rooster
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Icon 14 posted November 30, 2001 01:23      Profile for Angry Rooster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
/me watches SupportGoddess' sex appeal climb...

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--Angry Rooster
"Eagles may soar, but roosters don't get sucked into jet engines."


Posts: 376 | From: Coeur d'Alene, ID, USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
LostInColorado

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Icon 1 posted November 30, 2001 22:57      Profile for LostInColorado     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I guess that with [email protected] folding, the sexiness of broadband will increase. I am therefore ready to divulge my connectivity!

I use a Sprint Broadband fixed wireless connection to provide bandwidth to the house. This bandwidth is then distributed to my computers using a combination Ethernet switch and wireless access point. I am writing this from a 802.11b equiped laptop (which happens to run Linux )

What do you guys think?

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LostInColorado

At first, follow the rules of the game.
If you don't succeed, break the rules.
If you still don't succeed, change them.
If you still don't succeed, just change the game.


Posts: 117 | From: Thornton, CO, USA | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
CyberGoddess
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Icon 1 posted December 03, 2001 07:35      Profile for CyberGoddess   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Curse you, Earthlink! I want my DSL modem! Hurry up

My DSL is active... I just don't have the modem yet...

*cry*

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CyberGoddess
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quantumfluff
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Icon 1 posted December 03, 2001 08:12      Profile for quantumfluff     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Angry Rooster:
Oh broadband how I love your speed,
You cater to my every need,
I choose a file, now itís here,
Almost LAN-like, feels so near,
...

This reminded me of an epiphiny of sorts I had a few months ago about how high speed networking changeed my world. I had just downloaded something off the net. Nothing huge, about 400K, and I realized that it took less time to get it from a server in another city than it used to take to load a file that size from the local floppy disk of the first computer I used at work.

Anyway, I hate to gloat, but I've got some pretty big bandwidth in my house. A cable modem to run the family computers, and a DSL connection for my servers and development machine. A 16 port switch and some firewall boxes ties the whole thing together.


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Ti
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Icon 6 posted December 03, 2001 09:08      Profile for Ti   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
To all you folks who were riding with Excite-ment, a deep heart felt apology... followed by a loud "NEENER NEENER NEENER MY DSL'S STILL UP!". PBBPBPBBPBPTTTTT :-P

*begins dancing around yelling "I told you so" and acting very much like a 3 year old*

Kevin
--
Who Rides the Light --


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trowelblister
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Icon 1 posted December 03, 2001 10:31      Profile for trowelblister   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by CyberGoddess:
Curse you, Earthlink! I want my DSL modem! Hurry up My DSL is active... I just don't have the modem yet...

Verizon was just the opposite when I signed up last year. They sent me the modem right away, but made me wait about three weeks for the service to be hooked up. Much more of a tease,,,,


Posts: 242 | From: lansdale, pa, usa | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
CyberGoddess
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Icon 1 posted December 03, 2001 10:49      Profile for CyberGoddess   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Whoa... someone from Doylestown....

*points to her sig*


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CyberGoddess
La Goddess of Go-Go :)
Official Spokesmodel of the 2000 Geek Culture Web-a-Thon!
http://www.cybergoddess.net
Member of the NBS
After Y2K Fan Club Member #15
Staff - The Cyberspace Matrix, Doylestown, PA
iGames WAN Party Community Manager

$ killall -SCREW `cat /var/run/guys.pid`; cd


Posts: 621 | From: Larkspur, CA | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Dahak
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Icon 14 posted December 12, 2001 12:35      Profile for Dahak   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm roughly in the neighborhood SupportGoddess (up 422 near Pottstown) so hopefully your DSL experience matches mine, which has been pretty good in the year+ that I've had Verizon's DSL.

Verizon provided me with my DSL modem first (then again this was over a year ago.) They then proceeded to torture with the statement "We'll have it up in a couple weeks." Reduced to dialup for most of a month. The horror! :-) Since then, it's stayed up even through the worst weather (and last winter was pretty bad up by me.) I run my web and mail servers through it and was even able to keep an online photo album updated last March while I was in London on vacation. It's gone down a few times (sometimes for as long as a day,) but the last time it did that was over six months ago.

Rich

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--
"A child of five could understand this! Therefore, fetch me a child of five!"


Posts: 53 | From: Royersford, PA, United States | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
SupportGoddess

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Icon 1 posted December 12, 2001 23:37      Profile for SupportGoddess   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I guess I should post my DSL update:

Got the modem and box o' stuff. The hardware went great. I was expecting much more agony. I was anticipating the NIC behaving like my winmodem. I was pleasantly surprised.

The only down side was that being an exclusively linux box, I couldn't run their software to activate my account. After much reassurance on my part to their tech support that I did not expect *any* linux support and that I just needed to activate my account some way other than through their software they finally gave me a URL. I never ended up using it though, because in my infinite wisdom I decided to muck about as root in a cavalier fashion and did bad bad things to my box.

Which left me with reinstalling linux, but I needed my modem to get to the URL to activate my account in order to connect through DSL, and I needed a connection to get the driver for my modem since I couldn't find the disk I put the driver on. So we went to Win98, which let me run their software. (I admit it, poor Hagbard is now a bastardization, 1/4 windows. I'm sure he feels dirty, I know I do.) Anyway I decided to keep the windows partition for 3 reasons- a plug-in for CBTs that I couldnt find for linux, my polaroid 320, and the Logitech QuickCam they sent me with the DSL stuff. Not like I need them, but what is the point in having toys if you don't play with them?

So after I got the account set up I reinstalled Linux and got the DSL working in there, which was actually pretty easy.

As a note, the second tech support guy I talked to (Verizon never provided my confirmation code, which I needed to use during the registration) was familiar with Linux and we had a nice chat. They also activated my service exactly 10 business days after the order was placed, which was the time frame they gave me.

So now I have bandwidth, toys, and I am mostly Linux. Last weekend was good.

------------------
reality.sys corrupted. universe halted. reboot (y/n)?


Posts: 1148 | From: The Digital Temple | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged


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