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Author Topic: What a Weekend II
Colonel Panic
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 1200

Icon 2 posted June 19, 2006 22:25      Profile for Colonel Panic         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I had this wonderful friend, Jill, who was a wonderful friend in a "friends with benefits" kind of way.

She always gave me plenty of personal space, but always had time for benefts.

Alas, things like that don't last. One evening I get a call and hear her crying on the other end. Just a week after us having a blast at the 'Stones concert in Chicago, she has taken up with a new boyfriend.

This would be her one zillionth, ninety-nine gajillionth "absolutely, fer-sure, we're really going to make it" boy friend in her life. But numbers don't count when you're in love and I was out of the picture, and out of benefits.

Instead of whining and crying like my inner child wanted me to do (in fact my inner child threatened to hold my breath until I turned blue if I didn't START whining and crying), I did the whimpy gentleman thing and understood completely and volunteered to be her friend and listen whenever she needed an ear.

And then I proceeded to listen for the next 8 months or so as her relationship crashed as surely as an Intel box on Windows 95.

I even kept my distance as she went through her "I hate all men" phase. Even when that phase developed into her "I really love women phase." And, even when that phase developed into the "I really love Heather the 29-year old personal trainer and bi-sexual nymphomaniac" phase.

Needless to say, I was unfazed.

However, I'm having trouble now it's developed into the "I've shared my times with you, Colonel, with Heather and we'd like to have you over" phase.

Now I'm fazed. Phasered, is more like it. On stun. It's causing all kinds of trouble. Like ...

Sleeping. That's one thing I'm having trouble with. Not since she called and told me what she and Heather had in mind. These are not dreams of sugarplums dancing in my head, people. And when I do sleep, why do I wake up in some 16-year old boy's sheets?

I know, I know that long ago in here I preached the values of letting go, and being unselfish.

But I never thought the philosophy would pay off in spades.

This is what I get for growing up a geek, and scoring 25 on the female side of the sexual ID test?

CP

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Free! Free at last!

Posts: 1809 | From: Glacier Melt, USA | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
nerdwithnofriends
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Icon 1 posted June 19, 2006 23:36      Profile for nerdwithnofriends     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'll be the first to say show up naked, with beer. But in this case, it will probably be welcome [Smile]


Have fun with this, but be careful. It's cool to experiment, and yeah two women at once is every heterosexual man's dream, but I would advise keeping it toned down. Two girls means twice as much potential trouble (or the potential trouble squared? I dunno).

Good luck!

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"The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower." - Robert M. Pirsig

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uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted June 19, 2006 23:42            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Nearly every heterosexual man's dream....
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TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted June 20, 2006 03:26      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I hearrrred thaaat. You be chillin C-man

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Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5848 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted June 20, 2006 04:45      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You == my hero.

That is all.

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
Jace Raven

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 2444

Icon 1 posted June 20, 2006 05:04      Profile for Jace Raven         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
All I have to say is tie one of them up. Both of them on the loose will be a lot of work for you, whereas if you tie one up, you can take your time and work the board.

Congrats!

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted June 20, 2006 05:04      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Pictures !
</WWCVD>

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted June 20, 2006 08:19      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I axed you wherebe captn vic?

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Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5848 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

Member # 1477

Icon 1 posted June 20, 2006 11:02      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by TheMoMan:
I axed you wherebe captn vic?

Jus layin' back in the cut, beyotch. Chillin' and swillin' yo.

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(!) (T) = 8-D

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Crimson
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Icon 1 posted June 20, 2006 13:53      Profile for Crimson   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh. You are just going to feed her unstable dating problem. It wont turn out well. [tired]
Posts: 106 | From: Michigan | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted June 20, 2006 22:00      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Crimson:
Oh. You are just going to feed her unstable dating problem. It wont turn out well. [tired]

And you believe he really cares right now? [evil]

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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Colonel Panic
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 1200

Icon 1 posted June 20, 2006 22:44      Profile for Colonel Panic         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Crimson:
Oh. You are just going to feed her unstable dating problem. It wont turn out well. [tired]

Oh, no, Crimson.

I think she has an unstable relationship problem, and it stems from the fact that she hasn't embraced dating.

There's no way I want to feed any bad habit in my friend. And I'm certainly not interested in a sick, co-dependant relationship.

But I will see her.

You haven't been around enough to see my POV on dating. It's been a while, so I'll share.

A while back, (after a long marriage, a suffering divorce, and some bad relationships that included me getting stood up at the altar while a little goldigger was unloading everything I owned into a moving van bound for three states over) I sat down over a few beers with a man who would become my best friend. He had a very similar story to mine.

We wondered, "Why do guys like us who invest so much into the women we love end up so wrecked?"

(Geeks, can I get an "Amen" here?)

The answer to us that day was we were investing too much, too quickly into one woman. We pointed the finger at the "three-dates-and-you-become-'a number'" phenomena in our culture. We surmised that there is so much pressure to "couple up" that many of us commit to a relationships simply to have one, rather than to have a healthy union with another human being.

We saw way too many people committing to each other before knowing each other, and staying commited way too long after the flame had burned out. And we were in that group.

We called it "Tarzan relationships," clinging to one relationship tightly then grabbing the next one that comes along without any clue as to where it was taking us -- all for fear of falling on the dating jungle floor and being totally alone.

We swore off quick commitments, and decided to date a number of people. We would be honest and straightforwward with our dating -- this wasn't cheating. When on a first date the rules were put right on the table. We'd explain on a first date something like this:

"I'll make this clear, if you would like to see me after tonight you need to understand that I date. I see others. I hope you see others, too. I'm not looking for quick commitment. I'm looking for interesting people in my life. And when I commit, I want to commit to the right person. And the best way I figure to meet the right person is to spend time with as many interesting people as I can.I enourage you to try dating this way, too. If we date a while and lose interest, well it's not the end of the world, we'll both have others to see. If we develop a keen interest in each other we'll see each other more. And if we're right for each other, then we'll know when to tell others that we found somebody. I expect the same from you. What we do together is our business and nobody elses. What I do with others is my business and not yours."

Apparently this is a very attractive proposal to many women over 30. Within three months my friend and I each were seeing two dozen women. We learned some were close to us and we saw often, and others were not so close and we didn't see as often. We described the levels of closeness as "circles." We had our inner circle, and outer circles. Over time women came and went and it has been deliightful for the most part. Some of the women I have been very close to have gone on and gotten married and we are still good friends. I find this healthy.

A couple of things I've learned while dating is that the more discrete a gentleman is the more fun he can have. If a fellow can have fun and keep a secret he can have a lot of fun.

(Drunkmidget this is why I prefer to stay anonymous).

I also learned that women don't have to follow that rule. They talk, and brag worse than high school boys in a locker room They compare note on their adventures. I learned this long before "Sex in the City" became a best seller. Some women, apparently give referrals. This shocked me when I heard about it, but I've come to grips with it.

Which brings me back to Jill.

Jill has had a life full of "Tarzan relationships." There is a hole in her she keeps trying to hide by pairing up with a guy. After her last breakup she saw a counselor who recommend she date more guys before committing. Jill was trying to do that, but wasn't successful. I'd felt some pressure. Apparently another guy took advantage of that and now, after 8 months he's gone.

It wasn't easy hearing that Jill was pairing up with that fellow and wasn't available any more. As benefits goes, she was the best of the best. And she felt the same way about me. Unfortunately, because things were that good, the relationship was very one-dimensional. It also isn't easy getting back. It's been a "how to approach it" issue with me. I've never had a relationship go from lover to confidant back to lover again.

Apparently, this is the way she has found to approach the issue. I've been aware of Heather from before. She is a close friend of Jill's. Heather was the woman Jill would brag to after a date. Jill had also shared with me that she found Heather very attractive. And Jill knows this would not be the first time I have been with two women.

So there it stands.

It's not exactly finding an old lover on the street one day, talking about the old times and drinking ourselves some beers, as Paul Simon might put it.

It's been 8 months though.

So no, Crimson, I'm not enabling bad dating habits, just kinky ones.

CP

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Free! Free at last!

Posts: 1809 | From: Glacier Melt, USA | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted June 21, 2006 12:32      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Colonel Panic_____________________I have many of your live experiences, age does that. I remember that back in 1980 I and a friend commented look at us we have come full circle. We once had great homes big mortgages, wife kids, now w're back where we started.


The answer to us that day was we were investing too much, too quickly into one woman. We pointed the finger at the "three-dates-and-you-become-'a number'" phenomena in our culture. We surmised that there is so much pressure to "couple up" that many of us commit to a relationships simply to have one, rather than to have a healthy union with another human being.

After spilling my guts with an old hill billy welder in the shop I worked in, he never even stopped whittling on his piece of wood, " when are you going to stop lying to the fscker in the mirror."

So go have a pleasant evening drink some of their wine, and become sated.

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5848 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
Colonel Panic
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 1200

Icon 1 posted June 21, 2006 16:14      Profile for Colonel Panic         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thank you Mo-Man.

But that spilling your guts thing. Wasn't that just last week after confiding to the old man that you believed Rod Marinelli was the man, and this year the Lions were going to win it all?

What was that old spark chaser supposed to say? [Wink]

CP

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Free! Free at last!

Posts: 1809 | From: Glacier Melt, USA | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted June 21, 2006 16:44      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
CP_______________________I have more chance of winning the Michigan Lottery than the Lions do of winning it all!

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Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5848 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
Crimson
Geek
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Icon 1 posted June 22, 2006 06:40      Profile for Crimson   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
quote:
Originally posted by Crimson:
Oh. You are just going to feed her unstable dating problem. It wont turn out well. [tired]

And you believe he really cares right now? [evil]
no but he will once pyscho chick attaches herself to him. I know many guys that have done this and regretted it. oh well
Posts: 106 | From: Michigan | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
Demosthenes
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 530

Icon 1 posted June 22, 2006 08:55      Profile for Demosthenes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Crimson:
no but he will once pyscho chick attaches herself to him. I know many guys that have done this and regretted it. oh well

...and I know plenty of couples who wanted a three-way and contacted one of their more trustworthy, discreet friends, and had a wonderful weekend (or longer!) because of it. Don't be so uptight and nave.

Colonel, the comment about being nave goes for you, too, but in a different way...don't take this like the silver spoon it appears to be. Obviously spend some time before everybody gets naked and ask any questions you have about their relationship and where you stand; might this become a regular occurrance? Are you now a "friend with benefits?" After this, what's okay? Get everyone involved tested, then go for it!

(Also, while Jace's comment about tying them up is a worthy one, I just don't see the fun. The best factor of a three-way is the feeling of four hands and two bodies pressed up against you. When one of them is reduced to merely a prop, she'll get bitter and you'll miss out.)

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted June 22, 2006 09:11      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If you're really going to go ahead and do this*, use protection! Dental dams, condoms, the whole works. You really don't want to come back from this experience with souvenirs.

*I, of course, don't think you should, but that's not new to you, I'm sure.

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted June 22, 2006 09:18      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
*snicker*
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Mac D
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Member # 2926

Icon 1 posted June 22, 2006 09:26      Profile for Mac D     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
If you're really going to go ahead and do this*, use protection! Dental dams, condoms, the whole works. You really don't want to come back from this experience with souvenirs.

*I, of course, don't think you should, but that's not new to you, I'm sure.

I always suffocate with the dental dams. You breathe in with your nose and it suctions right up and you can't breathe. Not to mention girls don't like them because they can't feel anything with them. So your better off just not going down there if your that worried about it. Anything you catch from Oral is curable. The condoms are the important thing here.

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There's nothing wrong with me, This is how I'm supposed to be.

Posts: 1449 | From: Where I am is very relative to my location at that time. | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
Demosthenes
SuperBlabberMouth!
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Icon 1 posted June 22, 2006 11:50      Profile for Demosthenes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Mac D:
So your better off just not going down there if your that worried about it.

Oh sweet jumpin' Jesus, no! [Eek!]

I reiterate; the bunch of you should waltz into a Planned Parenthood a few days before following through on this arrangement and get tested. Go out for burgers while you wait for the results. You'll all be thankful you did.

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Tom- geeking around

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Icon 1 posted June 22, 2006 11:56      Profile for Tom- geeking around   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hehe, sounds good!
Condoms! Condoms!
Use them.

What I always did when I got a long-term relationship and we considered switching over to hormone-based contraceptives we both got ourselves checked for STD's and nasty stuff. We showed each other the test results and then we swichted..

Might help for you too, but I guess such a throughout test is out of the question..

Just be sure you don't catch genital warts.. Those never go away and are really disgusting..

Enjoy!

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Pizza and ginormous jugs is what I need!

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GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted June 22, 2006 13:21      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Mac D wrote:
Anything you catch from Oral is curable.

Really? AIDS can be trasmitted orally. Would you mind sharing the cure with the rest of the planet? It's not nice to hold out on the rest of us and there are millions of people who would quite literally owe you their lives.

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Worst. Celibate. Ever.

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Crimson
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Icon 1 posted June 22, 2006 13:57      Profile for Crimson   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
@ Demosthenes: I'm not being uptight and I am far from it but if you read anything at all, thing of this sort are not good. But you know, some people just might not pay attention to the studies.

Anyways, before you go out and do this get tested have the girls get tested too. Wear condoms too.

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Mac D
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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Icon 1 posted June 22, 2006 13:58      Profile for Mac D     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Steen:
Mac D wrote:
Anything you catch from Oral is curable.

Really? AIDS can be trasmitted orally. Would you mind sharing the cure with the rest of the planet? It's not nice to hold out on the rest of us and there are millions of people who would quite literally owe you their lives.

According to NPR (This was a show just last week) They said there has been no documented cases of aids transmitted Orally. In theory it may be possible but very very unlikly.

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There's nothing wrong with me, This is how I'm supposed to be.

Posts: 1449 | From: Where I am is very relative to my location at that time. | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged


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