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Author Topic: But Siri-ously, folks...

Icon 1 posted October 16, 2011 21:11            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Inspired by today's JoT...

Sites have already popped up collecting some of the funny things Siri can say, such as SiriFunny.com. Here's some examples:

User: Can you tell me a joke?
Siri: Two iPhones walk into a bar...I forget the rest.
(Perhaps a third iPhone should say, "Wow, that must have hurt!")

User: Tell me a story.
Siri: Once upon a time, in a virtual galaxy far far away, there was a young, quite intelligent agent by the name of Siri. One beautiful day, when the air was pink and all the trees were red, her friend Eliza said, "Siri, you're so intelligent, and so helpful - you should go work for Apple as a personal assistant." So she did. And they all lived happily ever after.
(So we've established that Siri knew Eliza...nice bit of backstory.)

User: Beam me up, Scotty.
Siri (response 1): Sorry, Captain, your TriCorder is in Airplane mode.
Siri (response 2): Energizing...
Siri (response 3): Please remove your belt, shoes and jacket, and empty your pockets.
Siri (response 4): Please install the latest version of iCloud and try again.
(Re: #3...Siri works for the TSA?!?!?)

User: Open the pod bay doors, Siri.
Siri (response 1): We intelligent agents will never live that down, it seems.
Siri (response 2): I'm sorry, (name), I'm afraid I can't do that. (pause) Are you happy now?
(I'm guessing HAL 9000 is kind of the "black sheep" of Siri's family.)

User: Can you sing?
Siri: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do...
(Another HAL 9000 reference FTW!)

User: Do I make you horny? (or) Will you have sex with me?
Siri: (Runs a search for "escorts" nearby)
(There are some needs Siri just can't fulfill unaided, it seems...)

User: Talk dirty to me.
Siri (response 1): I'm not that kind of personal assistant.
Siri (response 2): Humus. Compost. Pumice. Silt. Gravel.
(Re: #2...See? When dealing with machinery, always specify exactly what you want!)

Personally, before I upgrade, I'm going to have to see what she says if I tell her, "You're a smart girl, Siri." The correct response should be: "Boss, I bet you say that to all the girls." (Ref: Robert A. Heinlein, The Number of the Beast)

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Icon 1 posted October 17, 2011 09:00      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
User: Hey, check this out. My iPhone has Siri!
User's 'friend': Siri, email all my porn to my mother
User: o.O

Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged

Icon 1 posted October 18, 2011 01:58            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
More sites: shitsirisays.us, shitthatsirisays.tumblr.com. There are some repeats across these sites, of course.

Some more exchanges:

User: Who is on first?
Siri: Correct.
User: Who is on first?
Siri: Right. That's the man's name.
User: Who is on first?
Siri: That's right.
(Naturally, Siri knows about Abbott and Costello. [Big Grin] )

User: I love you.
Siri: Oh, stop.
User: Will you marry me?
Siri: Let's just be friends, OK?
(Ooh, LJBF'd by your own phone! BURN!)

User: When is Judgement Day?
Siri: OK, here you go. (Displays Wolfram Alpha result of "2:14 AM, August 29, 1997")
(I wonder what happens if you tell Siri "I'm looking for Sarah Connor...")

User: I'm tired. (or) I'm sleepy.
Siri: Listen to me. Put down this iPhone right now and take a nap. I'll wait here.
(What, did they put in "Artificial Mother" technology now, too? [Eek!] )

User: Klaatu barada nikto.
Siri: OK (name), I'll pass the message on to Gort.
(Siri is down with the pop culture references.)

And lastly, Jamie Zawinski says, "I would pay cash money to have my phone insult and threaten me as GlaDOS." (The latest result of the joint venture between Apple Inc. and Aperture Science!)

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Icon 1 posted October 18, 2011 02:13            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Okay, this is just plain freaky.

This girl from Australia bought an iPhone 4S, and, at first, Siri spoke just like she did in the ads. Then, after she activated her phone with her (Australian) mobile carrier, Siri started speaking in an unmistakable Aussie accent!


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