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Author Topic: Sometimes I just want to smack my friends
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 17:32      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A friend of mine is interested in a guy who works in the IT department where she works. He stops by her desk here and there just to chat even though he doesn't appear to have any reason to be in her department (or even on the floor).

She sends him an email asking him for advice on MP3 players and he responds with an email containing advice on MP3 players.

Now she's complaining because he didn't figure out that her request for advice on MP3 players was actually meant to get him to flirt with her?? WTF? [Confused]

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Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 12 posted May 21, 2006 17:39            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Depends on his personality. Some of us can't resist throwing in a bit of extra flavour (or poison [Wink] to e-mail beyond the basic requirement of the response. It's strange... Maybe he's too trained to reply in a bare facts, dry way, whereas I can barely do that if I try!

Smacking up friends, though? Don't tempt me [evil]

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dragonman97

SuperFan!
Member # 780

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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 18:26      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Also, what e-mail was it sent to?

No IT man worth his salt would ever respond with anything but professional writing in e-mail, especially over a corporate network.

Sexual harrassment lawsuits, anyone?

Tell her to Google him. [Wink]

Also, he may have thought absolutely nothing about it, and just tried to be helpful and send a response. You should probably just advise her to show up naked, with beer, if he is to take notice of her.

HAND, HTH, YMMV

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9332 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 21:16      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Speaking as a geek who dates geeks...

You do not initiate flirtation with a geek by asking them a question that could get even remotely technical about an area they geek out about. This means that if you try to get a coffee invite or even just a simple conversation out of an IT guy or gal by asking them about MP3 players or anything else that has a chip and software, you are not going to get a date for coffee or nice conversation. No. You have just hit the data dump button, and you are now going to get a full dissertation on MP3 players or whatever you asked about. The only thing that can be gained is this: if he or she likes you, he or she is more likely to give you the detailed answer. Especially if said question is asked by e-mail.

So, yeah, clue-by-four your friend and then have her clue-by-four the IT guy.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
GameMaster
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1173

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Icon 1 posted May 21, 2006 21:50      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I agree with X.

If I get a ticket about a borken computer, I'm not paying any attention who the ticket is for -- just what is wrong, what they need, and the quickest way to get it done. When the brain goes into to geek mode, it all becomes about solving the problem -- Asking me about MP3 players makes me think about MP3 players not about relationships.

The issue of sexual harassment is important note, and a very good reason for him to stick to bussiness over company e-mail.

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My Site

Posts: 3038 | From: State of insanity | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted May 22, 2006 04:44      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Xanthine and GameMaster have it right. It's my female friend who needs smacked. I'm on the IT guy's side. Ask me about MP3 players and you're (probably) going to get an answer about MP3 players... assuming I'm not off on some tangent.
Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Plcaga
Mini Geek
Member # 5119

Icon 1 posted May 22, 2006 05:05      Profile for Plcaga   Author's Homepage         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I do not really sure about it [Confused] but maybe she doesn't communicate well enough to [blush] *Hmm...Flirt...Hmm....* [blush] with him.
Tell more details if you got.

Posts: 70 | From: Lyon. France | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted May 22, 2006 06:00            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It depends on mindset very much. I'd personally disagree, I'm not "professionally trained" to talk or think like a mindless corporate robot and nor do I have the standard disossciation between the opposite sex, and "same-sex" hobbies and interests.

I doubt you can generalise, but in a corporate tech environment I imagine he's been brainwashed quite a bit. Professionalism takes all the fun out of the human mind.

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted May 22, 2006 06:52      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's all about the environment. I've been asked about MP3 players whilst in coffee shops, and I'll give friendly advice...and there's the potential for all sorts of handy things like eye contact and intonation, but e-mail is quite a bit different.

About the only proper thing you could do in e-mail is to end it with "Any questions or comments, feel free to contact me." (Naturally with your # in your .sig) But truly, there's no way to know what she's driving at when it's via e-mail, unless she makes it quite blatant, p'raps with an attachment, even.

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9332 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted May 22, 2006 07:00            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's exceptionally rare that women acknowledge that I even exist. So it's very hard to not notice the occasions when they do, and to not react accordingly. I don't of course mean writing "want to jump in the pool" but avoiding any attempt to be amusing would be a bit futile.

And Steen did point out that this guy does come by for a chat with her for no apparently logical reason, and that's also abnormal.

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GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted May 22, 2006 17:00      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I still think she needs smacked [Smile]

What I actually suggested is that she come up with some other technical shopping advice question and ask him to go to lunch with her under the pretense of discussing it.

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Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Thorned0Fortress
Geek
Member # 4435

Icon 1 posted May 23, 2006 20:22      Profile for Thorned0Fortress   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think that she should e-mail him with songs like "What are you doing this friday" ,"I'm single and looking", and " I want to know you better".
When he finds that these aren't real songs (hoping they aren't, I didn't look them up or anything) he should get the gist.

Posts: 235 | From: texas | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
Infinitesimal
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Icon 1 posted May 25, 2006 21:29      Profile for Infinitesimal     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well you could always save time by smacking thier heads together [Razz]

But seriously tell her to stop being silly and just go for a more standard approach like asking them out to something moderatly neutral like a coffee.

well thats my $0.11AUD inc GST

Posts: 153 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2814

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted May 26, 2006 10:02      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
naked.
beer.

That is all.

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted May 26, 2006 11:54      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Good lord no! You haven't heard how giggly that woman gets if alcohol is involved.

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Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged


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