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Author
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Topic: Excuse Needed
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The Famous Druid
Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769
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posted May 09, 2004 17:22
First it was to save the world from Saddams Weapons of Mass Destruction, but it turns out there aren't any, so we don't hear that excuse much these days.
Then it was to save the Iraqi people from a brutal regime that rapes, tortures, and murders prisoners, but the headlines in recent days suggest we won't be hearing that excuse much any more.
So, in the spirit of True Patriotism, I think it's time we thought up a new excuse for the war in Iraq.
All suggestions are welcome, any good ones will be forwarded to the relevant government officials, and I'll award a suitable worthless prize for my favourite entry.
Let the excusifying begin !
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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.
Posts: 10313 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002
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GMx
Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 1523
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posted May 09, 2004 17:29
To bring BDSM to a backward country. ![[evil]](graemlins/evil.gif)
Posts: 5818 | From: S-4, Area 51 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Too Cool To Quit
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 2217
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posted May 09, 2004 18:06
WORLD PEACE!
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Alright now, that's the last straw, I'm calling the ass taxidermist to tell him to stop making hats in your size RIGHT NOW.
Posts: 1097 | From: North Carolina | Registered: May 2003
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Spiderman
Solid Nitrozanium Superfan!
Member # 1609
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posted May 09, 2004 18:59
To create the need for a superhero!!
Spiderman anyone?? ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]
Posts: 844 | From: Chicago | Registered: Aug 2002
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Snaggy
Sir Snaggalot!
Member # 123
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posted May 09, 2004 19:06
"Because we gotta fire all these bullets or they'll just go to waste!"
Posts: 7683 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2000
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GMx
Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 1523
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posted May 09, 2004 19:16
We don't have enough sand in the USA. Sand is a valuable resorce that was under the control of a dictator. Now the sand can flow freely into the free market without some despot controlling it.
Posts: 5818 | From: S-4, Area 51 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Orpheus
Highlie
Member # 2397
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posted May 09, 2004 22:59
Because every once in a while ya just gotta bomb someone.
Ya gotta do something with the leftover fireworks from New Years.
They might have rocks.
They turned me into a newt!
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my cats make me crazy
Posts: 554 | From: Galveston, TX | Registered: Oct 2003
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csk
Member # 1941
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posted May 10, 2004 01:12
quote:
Originally posted by GMx:
To bring BDSM to a backward country.
Yeah, those US soldiers tried to explain about safewords, but the language barrier must have got in the way
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6 weeks to go!
Posts: 4455 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2003
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TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1659
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posted May 10, 2004 06:52
_____Nothing perks up the economy like a war just ask the defense contractors how much they are making off of this little piece of history
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If it don't glow it ain't Ham Radio
Posts: 5073 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002
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Stereo
Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 748
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posted May 10, 2004 07:20
Well, as far as I know, the current "official" excuse is "to bring some stability in the Middle East", but the one I'd like to hear is:
"Cause Daddy lost his keys the last time he went there, so we had to find them back. It's a matter of national security, you know; we don't want no freakin' potential terrorists to use our boat as a tool of mass destruction! Think of the lives of all those poor, innocent people who could die while they try to enjoy some hard-earned free time, drinking martinis at the marina bar! No, that they are working for oil and military companies doesn't make them any less innocent! There'll be no more questions."
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Eppur, si muove!
Galileo Galilei
Posts: 2286 | From: Gatineau, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Apr 2001
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angryjungman
Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 2434
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posted May 10, 2004 08:55
Excuse?
[sarcasm]
We are almighty America. We need no excuses.
[/sarcasm]
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Meh.
Posts: 631 | From: princeton, nj | Registered: Nov 2003
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Sinn
Mini Geek
Member # 2111
Rate Member
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posted May 10, 2004 09:03
quote:
Originally posted by Orpheus:
They turned me into a newt!
I got better...
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Sin is a dangerous toy in the hands of the virtuous. It should be left to the congenitally sinful, who know when to play with it and when to let it alone.
Posts: 64 | From: Kerhonkson, NY | Registered: Apr 2003
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Cap'n Vic
Member # 1477
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posted May 10, 2004 09:27
How 'bout:
"Chicago needs a new Sears Tower. If we keep this up it is only a matter of time before someone flies a plane into it."
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(!) (T) = 8-D
Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002
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MacManKrisK
Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 955
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posted May 10, 2004 09:32
I agree with MoMan.
Nothing perks up the economy (just ask Haliburton how the economy is doing), or rallys blind patriotism, like a good ol' fashioned ground war!
If I see one more sign that reads "If you don't support our president, you don't support our troops," I'm gonna' scream!
Too many eerie similarities between this war and the last time we did this kind of shit.
*sings*
...So put down your books and pick up a gun,
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun.
And it's, one, two, three, what are we fightin' for?
Well I don't give a damn, next stop is Vietnam.
And it's five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates.
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Wooo... we're all gonna' die!
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"Buy low, sell high
get rich and you still die"
Posts: 2326 | From: Southwest Michigan, USA | Registered: Oct 2001
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MTB Babe
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 2297
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posted May 10, 2004 10:18
To see if Bush can still have supporters after fscking everything up. Hey look, he still does!
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Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ee-ana-jaad. Nayanajaad.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Posts: 1001 | From: State College, PA, USA | Registered: Jul 2003
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sconzey
Assimilated
Member # 2347
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posted May 10, 2004 11:13
Okay. Flamebait and possible thread hijack ahead.
First, my view on this. The Iraqi people are now free. Many innocent people who would have been mutilated, humiliated and tortured have not been.
Now. The big however. However, the way the war was gone about I have little problem with. What I do have a problem with is what came after. It angers me that George Bush and his 'poodle' as the swiss call him, went to war with no clear or coherent plan of what to do with the country afterwards. These mutilations done by the 'Coalition' soldiers, though I do not condone them, I understand the motivations behind them. They are acts of fustration at an incompetent government, taken out on innocent bystanders.
Okay. Now. All that is in the past. It has happened. People seem quite happy to criticise George Bush and say he's an idiot and doesn't know what he's doing... But what *should* he be doing?
Lets not talk about the past. Lets talk about right here, right now.
Posts: 490 | From: UK | Registered: Aug 2003
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TMBWITW,PB
Member # 1734
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posted May 10, 2004 11:34
quote:
Originally posted by sconzey:
First, my view on this. The Iraqi people are now free. Many innocent people who would have been mutilated, humiliated and tortured have not been.
While I agree that the Iraqi people are probably better off, I do not agree that they are free. Whether under a benevolent or malevolent force, they are still occupied by someone who should not be there. I think that Dubya really believes that he is doing the right thing and I can respect that, but I don't happen to agree with his view. That is why I plan to fire him in November.
Latest excuse for being in Iraq:
The Iraqi people have never lived in a democracy so we have to stay there until they learn to choose our type of government for themselves.
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"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
—Miss Piggy
Posts: 4009 | From: my couch | Registered: Oct 2002
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Morte Lavie
Geek-in-Training
Member # 2102
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posted May 10, 2004 11:39
OK, now here's the best reason that no one has thought of.
The reason we're over there is so that the lowlife scummy terrorists can take a one-tank-of-gas drive to attack Americans rather than an international flight. And the Americans they attack are fully armed and capable of killing them.
Notice we haven't had any attacks HERE since 9/11?
Even Osama is fooled. He's been calling for all his idiots to go to Iraq, not America!
Brilliant!
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The creator stands on his own judgment. The parasite follows the opinions of others. The creator thinks, the parasite copies. The creator produces, the parasite loots. The creator's concern is the conquest of nature. The parasite's concern is the conquest of Man. The creator requires independence - he neither serves nor rules. He deals with men by free exchange and voluntary choice. The parasite seeks power. He wants to bind all men together in common action and common slavery.
Posts: 39 | From: Rationality, Earth | Registered: Mar 2003
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Cap'n Vic
Member # 1477
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posted May 10, 2004 11:47
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
Latest excuse for being in Iraq:
The Iraqi people have never lived in a democracy so we have to stay there until they learn to choose our type of government for themselves.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) Good one Peebs ![[thumbsup]](graemlins/thumbsup.gif)
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(!) (T) = 8-D
Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002
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Tut-an-Geek
SuperFan!
Member # 1234
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posted May 10, 2004 12:09
We need to "democratize" the personal freedoms (just like Jackson "democratized" the BUS)
Anyway, Wag the Dog? I think Mr. Bush forgot to use actors though.
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Callipygous
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2071
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posted May 10, 2004 13:35
I read the following on the Bush "crusade" to spread democracy in the Middle East in an Amazon book review.
"Consider the example of Haiti. President Woodrow Wilson sent the US Marines to Haiti with the gift of democracy in 1915; US forces stayed until 1934, providing Haiti with its most prosperous and peaceful era of the past century. After the Marines came home, Haiti collapsed into chaos and then a tyranny which lasted until 1986. President Bill Clinton sent US forces to Haiti in 1994, then pulled them out six months later. The current situation there is not pretty."
Haiti is a small poor island near the US, Iraq is not. So anyone prepared to lay odds how likely the Iraqis are to take democracy to their hearts? Any odds?
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"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton
Posts: 2922 | From: Brighton - UK | Registered: Mar 2003
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The Famous Druid
Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769
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posted May 10, 2004 17:12
"The budget's in such a mess, we're hoping to make a bit of money from webcams in the torture rooms"
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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.
Posts: 10313 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002
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The Famous Druid
Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769
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posted May 11, 2004 04:15
quote:
Originally posted by littlefish:
quote:
"Because we gotta fire all these bullets or they'll just go to waste!"
Apparently not!
They use 2 billion bullets a year ?????
Wouldn't it be cheaper to introduce the American soldier to the concept of 'aiming' ?
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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.
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angryjungman
Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 2434
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posted May 11, 2004 04:57
Let me preface this post with saying that I am absolutely against war for any reason whatsoever. Violence only breeds more violence. That being said, since we invaded Iraq for the oil, I'd like to know why I haven't seen a decrease in my gas prices. In fact, I paid $1.93/gallon this morning. That's up about 15 cents from last week. So come on Georgie. If you're going to invade a country and rape it's natural resources, let the consumer benefit.
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Meh.
Posts: 631 | From: princeton, nj | Registered: Nov 2003
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