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Author Topic: Sheryl Crow and toilet paper.
Snaggy

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Icon 12 posted April 23, 2007 11:30      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Next time Sheryl Crow visits us here at Geek Culture Headquarters, I'll be sure to treat her to 4 full squares of toilet paper... no, I insist! [Razz]

"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheryl-crow/laurie-and-sheryl-go-to-s_b_46320.html

Posts: 8111 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
WinterSolstice

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Icon 1 posted April 23, 2007 11:37      Profile for WinterSolstice     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Lovely [Big Grin]

Yet more proof of why entertainers should just shut up and do their thing [Smile]

<dj voice>Next up, it's 1 sheet of paper, by Sheryl Crow!</dj voice>

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An operating system should be like a light switch... simple, effective, easy to use, and designed for everyone.

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Ashitaka

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Icon 1 posted April 23, 2007 12:09      Profile for Ashitaka     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
In other news I propose a new solution to all that corn cob waste. And since corn cobs are plentiful there shall be no limitations in use per toilet visit.

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"If they're not gonna make a distinction between Muslims and violent extremists, then why should I take the time to distinguish between decent, fearful white people and racists?"

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Just_Jess_B

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Icon 1 posted April 23, 2007 13:53      Profile for Just_Jess_B   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
:headdesk:

This is one of those moments where I think, "Lance, you're better off, man."

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Opinion is not Truth; that is why each has its own definition. Illiteracy sucks.

Posts: 1370 | From: Whaddya mean, Arizona? | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted April 23, 2007 14:29      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Just_Jess_B:
:headdesk:

This is one of those moments where I think, "Lance, you're better off, man."

Better off with one ball.

*rim shot*

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted April 23, 2007 14:30      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh come on guys, she's taking the piss.

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GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted April 23, 2007 15:01      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The Famous Druid wrote:
Oh come on guys, she's taking the piss.

That would explain why she only needs one or two squares of toilet paper.

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Sxeptomaniac

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Icon 1 posted April 23, 2007 15:02      Profile for Sxeptomaniac   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I was thinking that, too, TFD. The detachable sleeve thing in the article was a little too over-the-top not to be a joke.

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Just_Jess_B

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Icon 8 posted April 23, 2007 17:11      Profile for Just_Jess_B   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Steen:

The Famous Druid wrote:
Oh come on guys, she's taking the piss.

That would explain why she only needs one or two squares of toilet paper.

Okay, what I'm about to say is icky but true.

A (sanitary) woman needs TP each time she urinates. Three squares isn't going to dry said area and keep our sanitary lady's hands clean and dry while she does it (the actual goal, in my mind). If a woman tries to play the "conservation game", her dainties will smell pretty diaperesque after a while because it takes a minimum of 6 squares to do the most basic job. Sorry, but it's tissue and it falls apart when wet unless it's John Wayne toilet paper*.

How much do you want to bet Square-1 Sheryl feels that everyone else should do it while she rolls in TP just because she has the cash to? That it's OUR responsibility while she purchases the planting of trees as an offset or some crazy-assed bull-pookey like that!

Celebrities and politicians like this piss me off. Don't tell me what to do if you're not willing to walk the walk, too. Ed Begley? I would listen to. Why? He leads by example.

Sheryl, I'm going to encourage everyone I know to stick the end of an unused roll of tp in their potties and flush the whole roll down, unused, in protest of celebrity ignorance. IN YOUR NAME. There's passion, and then there's intelligent passion. Either do some damned research next time or listen to your publicist and read the nice cue cards s/he gives you, honey!


* Rough, tough, and don't take crap offa nobody.

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Opinion is not Truth; that is why each has its own definition. Illiteracy sucks.

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted April 23, 2007 17:19      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Solution: make TP squares bigger. Why the hell are they that small anyways??

It could be worse guys. She could be suggesting we all go back to corn cobs or something.

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted April 23, 2007 17:25      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Just_Jess_B:
Sheryl, I'm going to encourage everyone I know to stick the end of an unused roll of tp in their potties and flush the whole roll down, unused, in protest of celebrity ignorance. IN YOUR NAME. There's passion, and then there's intelligent passion. Either do some damned research next time or listen to your publicist and read the nice cue cards s/he gives you, honey!

/me suspects taking the piss may not be a common idiom in the land of merkins.

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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Just_Jess_B

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Icon 1 posted April 23, 2007 17:31      Profile for Just_Jess_B   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
lol!

No "taking the piss" is not a common idiom where I am, but I assumed it was something about either being crazy (like being crazy drunk, or "getting pissed") or being stupid drunk or having to do with not understanding that while men don't have to wipe, women do.

I don't know, though. I mean, the whole "Take a Kayak" thing wasn't. Celine Dion went nutters and we don't talk 'bout Britney's flavor of batshit nuts any more. There's enough crazy to go around in the industry that you never can tell when one is joking or serious . . .

I will accept she took the piss.

Nice jab, btw, turning my words on me. hehe.

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Opinion is not Truth; that is why each has its own definition. Illiteracy sucks.

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted April 23, 2007 17:44      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My husband and I have had variations of this discussion. Ours goes something like this:

Me: Where'd the toilet paper go?
Him: We used it.
Me: We USED it?!
Him: Yeah.
Me: But it was new two days ago! And that roll had 600 sheets on it!
Him: Well, it takes a lot to clean up.
Me: But I hardly used any! It only takes three squares--four at the most--at a time when you're using the decent stuff.*
Him: But I have to use more so I don't get any on my hand, especially when it's messy.**
Me: But four squares should be enough! Four squares times four is only 16, but six squares times four is 24! No wonder it's disappearing so quickly!

So yeah, the Sheryl Crow theory is not happening in our house!


*Two-ply, somewhat quilted, not the stuff that dissolves in your hand as soon as it touches liquid.

**Number two requires an increased frequency of wipage, on average about four.

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted April 23, 2007 17:50      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh, and what's up with Sheryl and Laurie's appearance on the Today Show being labeled as "girlfriends"? Is she batting for the other team and I missed that announcement?

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted April 23, 2007 17:56      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hmm... should have put a smiley on my little joke post, I see. Must remember to do that in the future.

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted April 23, 2007 18:31      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Nah, you needn't've, Steen. I thought your joke was funny. It's just that one or two of us have actually considered this important issue.

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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Ugh, MightyClub
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Icon 1 posted April 24, 2007 10:09      Profile for Ugh, MightyClub     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
What good is John Wayne TP if it won't take crap offa nobody?

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Ugh!

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Chesty
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Icon 1 posted April 24, 2007 21:13      Profile for Chesty         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Ugh, MightyClub:
What good is John Wayne TP if it won't take crap offa nobody?

haaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!
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Chesty
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Icon 1 posted April 24, 2007 21:22      Profile for Chesty         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Maybe that's why she was so pissy with the VP the other night. Maybe she just finished trying to dry her worn-out dangling womanbits with only 2 squares.

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Square to spare?

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