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Author Topic: This is one of those times...
Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted December 28, 2005 17:46      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
...when I wish I lived in a big city. I want to go to a Cuddle Party!!!

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Posts: 3849 | From: Lancaster, PA | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged
nerdwithnofriends
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Icon 1 posted December 28, 2005 18:00      Profile for nerdwithnofriends     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's just one of those ideas where you smack yourself in the forehead and say 'Why didn't I think of that?'

Kind of like google...

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"The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower." - Robert M. Pirsig

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted December 28, 2005 18:09      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Or, for the slightly more daring, you could move to Canada [evil]

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted December 28, 2005 18:15      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Or, for those of us who are celibate and seriously miss non-sexual touch, stick with the original URL. [Razz]

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ArcticBlue
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Icon 1 posted December 28, 2005 19:55      Profile for ArcticBlue     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That idea really appeals to me. I like the idea of being able to pile on top of a lot of other people in a non-sexual way. The comfort and warmth would be awesome.
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Grummash

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Icon 1 posted December 29, 2005 10:48      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi Rhonnie - Whilst I respect your right to make whatever life choices you feel are appropriate for yourself, there are a couple of aspects of the 'Cuddle Party' idea I would like to explore.

You refer to celibacy, and missing 'non-sexual' touch, but I can't see how the Cuddle Party (even within its own rules) is non-sexual. To quote the rules: "Kissing and nuzzling, as well as other forms of touch, are allowed....." Is this not simply "sex-lite"? It is clearly behaviour which is intended to provide physical, and not just emotional, pleasure.

Don't get me wrong, I have no objection to these Cuddle Parties - hell, if they make people happy then why not? But it does look as though there is an attempt to pass off sexual activity/satisfaction as celibacy simply by prohibiting penetration & nudity. There seems to be some room for debate on where the line should be drawn to differentiate sexual behaviour from celibate "comfort-seeking". I would be interested to hear your views. [Smile]

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alfrin
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Icon 1 posted December 29, 2005 11:29      Profile for alfrin     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So basically, this is an Orgy with clothes?

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted December 29, 2005 11:49      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Looks almost that way. I'm sort of curious to know what the official response is when a few extra members come out to play whilst all are in romp. [evil]

(And no, I'm not about to go to the NY meeting to find out - the group/concept seems a bit /too/ quirky for my tastes. =P)

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Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted December 29, 2005 12:02      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by alfrin:
So basically, this is an Orgy with clothes?

No.....more like a 'Dry-hump-a-thon'

Not that there is anyting wrong with that.

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fs

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Icon 1 posted December 29, 2005 12:10      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't think I want to get intimate with groups of strangers. Even if everyone is keeping their clothes on. Nothing wrong with nice friendly hugs or snuggling or anything, but it would just be really weird with strangers.

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted December 29, 2005 17:03      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Cap'n Vic:
quote:
Originally posted by alfrin:
So basically, this is an Orgy with clothes?

No.....more like a 'Dry-hump-a-thon'

Not that there is anyting wrong with that.

Errh! You're forgetting rule number 7: NO dry humping!

Actually if y'all would read the articles on the site, the founders (and others) explain the reasoning behind the parties. In fact, y'all have just demonstrated one of the reasons why Reid and Marcia started this: the current attitude that somehow physical contact must lead to sex. In fact, if you're going to play the "Christian" card, the apostle Paul recommended greetings to various church members accompanied with a "holy kiss." Most churches I've attended (and it's been quite a few), don't kiss, let alone hug. It's like they're afraid somehow they'll be turned on. Confessions of a Christian Cuddler

But please, we're adults. We CAN control our responses to things. If you're in a situation where you get turned on, it doesn't mean you have to have sex with someone. Sure, Reid and Marcia acknowledge that some people will be aroused by various things at cuddle parties, but they have "Lifeguards" on duty who are trained to diffuse sexual tension in the room.

Remember hearing about children in orphanages who are rarely held and thus suffer from "failure to thrive"? We don't just grow out of that as adults. Consider our sterile American culture, then compare it to cultures where touching is a way of life... warmer climates typically have warmer people... much more friendly physical contact. People are happier, less stressed, more relaxed... there's a level of comfort and freedom they have that we don't. The phobia of touch is just another symptom of how uptight we Americans are.

And no, it's not one big orgy. Cuddle Parties are safe places to learn boundary-setting skills (a topic both csk and I have studied), learn to deal with rejection, learn to say no and mean no, or say yes when you mean yes. Any physical contact must be prefaced by asking and receiving permission. It's not a substitute for group therapy, but it is a safe way to conquer issues like these.

And that's why I like the idea of Cuddle Parties.

Reid's and Marcia's Biography

Cuddle Party FAQ

Cuddle Party LA

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Spiderman

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Icon 1 posted December 29, 2005 22:14      Profile for Spiderman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Uhm. Eww. Sorry.

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zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted December 29, 2005 22:28      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Spiderman:
Uhm. Eww. Sorry.

QFT
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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted December 29, 2005 22:36      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I confess that was a new term for me:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QFT

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alfrin
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Icon 1 posted December 29, 2005 23:24      Profile for alfrin     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
I confess that was a new term for me:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QFT

Saem her, also a whole new concept to me, normally I just took screenshots.

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted December 29, 2005 23:27      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I used Google to UrbanDict it.

Hmmm.... further linkage from dman's Wiki link brought me here. Anyone ever heard of this or use it?

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Grummash

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Icon 1 posted December 30, 2005 01:18      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Hmmm.... further linkage from dman's Wiki link brought me here. Anyone ever heard of this or use it?

Sorry Rhonnie - but if they can't spell it, I'm not going to use it [Razz]

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fs

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Icon 1 posted December 30, 2005 04:50      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
And that's why I like the idea of Cuddle Parties.

I can respect that you like the idea. And I'm sure that the other people that wouldn't do it themselves can as well.

I think for myself, it would be a pointless waste of money. I don't want strangers to touch me. I don't care if there are cuddle lifeguards or facilitators or what hanging out. Cuddling like that is an intimacy I reserve for people that I am close to. In many cases, I think it's much more personal than sex.

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Spiderman

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Icon 1 posted December 30, 2005 06:23      Profile for Spiderman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
quote:
Originally posted by Spiderman:
Uhm. Eww. Sorry.

QFT
I'm assuming this means you agree? The other definition which would indicate quoting for prevention of editing didn't seem to fit...interesting though, I wasn't familiar with "QFT" before either.

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Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]

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Spiderman

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Icon 1 posted December 30, 2005 06:24      Profile for Spiderman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Blah, my first ever double post. [Razz]

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Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]

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zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted December 30, 2005 07:57      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
I confess that was a new term for me:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QFT

QFT, as in "quoted for truth" - in this case, a lazy bastard's way of saying "I agree." In some cases, it might also mean "quit f*cking trolling."
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alfrin
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Icon 1 posted December 30, 2005 09:35      Profile for alfrin     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
I confess that was a new term for me:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QFT

QFT, as in "quoted for truth" - in this case, a lazy bastard's way of saying "I agree." In some cases, it might also mean "quit f*cking trolling."
It's often used as an anti-trolling mechanism also. For example, a person posts an outragous post. Someone quotes the text so that text is preserved in the quoted post. The troll changes the original text, but it remains in the quote as he put it.

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted December 30, 2005 10:18      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
I confess that was a new term for me:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QFT

QFT, as in "quoted for truth" - in this case, a lazy bastard's way of saying "I agree." In some cases, it might also mean "quit f*cking trolling."
Yes, I figured that out pretty quickly. Unfortunately, I thought it would be 100% obvious which definition applied, but I may have been wrong about that. :-/

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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Rednivek

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Icon 1 posted December 30, 2005 18:48      Profile for Rednivek     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Cuddle parties look immoral.

Why replace and demote real intimacy?

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Rednivek - Detroit, Michigan, USA

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted December 30, 2005 19:15      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rednivek:
Cuddle parties look immoral.

Why replace and demote real intimacy?

But see, there's the rub. There's hardly any real intimacy nowadays. I wish I had the freedom to go up to my friends and hug them spontaneously, and I wish they felt free to do the same to me, but like I said, our society puts the kibosh on that pretty strongly. Cuddle Parties with strangers... yeah, that'd be rather weird, but in some ways it's easier venturing out of your comfort zone with people who don't know you well. I mean, look at us here on GC. How many of us have posted things we'd never tell our RL friends and family?

And no, as much as they might look it on a cursory inspection, I don't think Cuddle Parties are immoral. IMO, it's immoral to go to a bar, get drunk (or get someone else drunk), and go home with a stranger. Heck, it's immoral even if you don't get drunk. It's immoral to lie to save face. It's immoral to cheat on your income taxes and to obtain copyrighted material without paying for it. But to break out of your anal retentive physical touch comfort zone while learning key life skills like boundary setting, definitive yes/no answering, and good communication skills? Not immoral.

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